Shadows no more
by alma-atormentada
Summary: Eight years had passed since the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 had been rescued from the island. What happened to Jack? Did he ever hook up with Kate? Where is she now?
1. Chapter 1

**Shadows no more**

**Summary: Eight years had passed since the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 had been rescued from the island. What happened to Jack? Did he ever hook up with Kate? Where is she now?**

Hello people! This is my first fic. You need to know that I'm a Jack fan. I love him, in fact, I want to be him. So, this is a story about him, mostly, but other losties appear. You won't find the typical Jate here. As in _Lost_, you need to be patient, 'cause things won't happen fast or easy. But you'll like it, I promise ;). I'm not a native English-speaker, so, though I think my English is pretty good, please let me know if you find mistakes in grammar or spelling. And please review!! You're welcome to say anything about the story, positive or negative, just say it nice please! I'll post every Friday and Monday. Hope you like it, enjoy!**  
**

**Chapter 1**

Jack was finishing with his tie. It was almost 8:00 O'clock. As he was grabbing his car keys and cell phone, he couldn't help but think: _Why on Earth did I accept to go to this gala? I should just stay home. There's no use, really. _The ring of his cell phone suddenly cut his thoughts off. It was Patrick. _Then _Jack remembered why he was going to that stupid party.

– What the hell are you still doing in your house? –an annoyed Patrick said from the other side of the line.

Jack blurted out a little laugh. – Easy man, I'm on my way. –he said, as he got in his car.

– Well, you better hurry. I said 8:00 _sharp_ man.

– Oh, come on! Like everybody was already there. I'm just a little late.

– You're not just a little late, Jack. You were planning not to come, right?

– You think I'd miss your big night?

– Maybe! –Patrick answered, faking indignation.

– I'm almost there man.

– Well, it's about time. All the hot nurses are here and I can't handle them by myself...

Jack's face went blank after that comment. The last thing he wanted was Patrick setting him up with some anonymous girl. – I don't know Patrick. Me dating a nurse? That's so cliché...

– I don't give a shit. _God knows_ you need to get laid, man. You can't afford to be picky, cliché or not...

– Right... –Jack said, emotionless.

– Just get here man.

Patrick hung up and Jack sank into his thoughts again, as he drove to the party. Yes, he hadn't been with anybody for two years now. He had almost forgotten the feeling of a warm body beside him, but for some reason, he just wasn't in the mood for going out and meeting women to ask them on dates.

After 20 minutes he arrived to the hotel were the gala was held. As he walked into the ballroom, he couldn't help but laugh at the huge posters that read "Ethics and Plastic Surgery by Patrick Mayer", along with a gigantic photograph of his friend and colleague smiling as an A-list Hollywood celebrity.

They met when Patrick arrived as an intern at Saint Sebastian Hospital. As the new Chief of Surgery, Jack was in charge of the interns program, so he made sure they had a rough time, especially Patrick. He was hard at the interns, but Patrick was very skilled and soon earned Jack's respect.

They became such good friends, that Jack felt terribly disappointed when Patrick decided to become a plastic surgeon. Jack always thought of plastic surgeons as human butchers, but he supported Patrick's career and acknowledged his achievements. What Jack never mentioned –or even admitted to himself– was that, besides respecting him for his talent and considering him one of his best friends, Patrick reminded him of Boone.

Patrick had become a very famous surgeon, especially after he fixed a well-known movie actress who had been on a car crash. He performed a brilliant surgery on her and turned her totally broken face into a science miracle. After that, the actress had been spreading the word, to the point that now Patrick was all over the country not only operating, but preaching about how important it was to see plastic surgery not as a cosmetic measure, but as a serious procedure that could save lives.

_Now he put it in a book. This is like a very bad Nip/Tuck episode,_ Jack thought, smiling at himself. When he couldn't find Patrick, he decided to stay at the entrance of the ballroom and wait. A waiter offered him a drink. He grabbed a glass of Scotch. And then he saw her.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Brooke was bored to death when she came out of the rest room. She crossed the ballroom and took a table at the bar. Finally, Ilana had a little break to talk to her friend. The whole week had been hell, and Ilana would have gone insane if Brooke hadn't been there to support her.

Ilana and Brooke had met almost five years ago, while working for the most important newspaper in New York. At that time, they were both assistant editors for different sections of the journal, and they soon bonded and became best friends.

During her college years, Brooke supported herself working as a model. She never did Calvin Klein or anything that big, just some photo-shoots and runways at malls and private shows. She always thought of modeling as a way to pursue her real goal: to write about fashion from a different point of view and then become a fashion editor.

Things had turned up well for Brooke. After graduating, she started writing as a freelance for some little magazines. Then she knew of an opportunity at the newspaper and applied for it. She got the job.

Now, after years of hard work, she and Ilana had been promoted. Brooke was at last the editor of the fashion section, while Ilana was in charge of the Books' Division, and they both were looking forward to become partners at the journal and later publishers by their own.

– God! These heels are killing me! I don't know how you people can walk on these things, really. –Ilana said, as she sat on the high chair of their table, facing Brooke and the ballroom's entrance.

Brooke gave a wide smile to her friend. – You look really good on them, you know? You should wear those more often.

– No way! I've been on them for like 20 minutes and I can't stand them anymore.

– Stop complaining. I'm the one with _nothing_ to do. I don't even know why I'm here. –Brooke said, faking annoyance.

– You _are _here because you are representing your corporation; because you are an editor as well. You're here because you _claim_ to know the author. And, above all, you're here because I'd beaten the shit out of you if you hadn't come. –Ilana replied.

– I don't claim to know the author. I _do_ know him, very well. I just hope he remembers me.

– Well, I just want to be done with this launching and get back home. I'm sick of it. I never expected medical books would be so difficult to launch. The only good thing is these doctors are actually good looking, most of them, at least. –Then Ilana threw Brooke a smug smile.

– What? –Brooke asked, noticing the look on Ilana's face.

– Don't turn around, but there's a really hot guy checking you out right now.

– Where? –Brooke asked back, amused.

Ilana was about to tell her when Patrick popped up.

– Brooke Julian! Oh-my-God! What are you doing here? –Patrick said in disbelief.

– Hey! You remember me!

– How could I _not_ remember you?

Brooke smiled. She and Patrick had been really close in college. He was like a brother to her. But as time went by and they moved along with their lives, they lost track of each other. When Brooke realized the first big launching of the division under Ilana's watch was a book written by Doctor Patrick Mayer, she felt really excited to reunite with him. That was the main reason she was there.

– So, you made it to med school, huh? Plastic surgeon… –Brooke said.

– Yeah, now you can have a boob job for free if you want.

– Are you saying _I_ need a boob job? –Brooke replied, raising an eyebrow.

– I'm not… but if you ever feel like it.

Brooke was happy to see time didn't cool their friendship. – And _you_ are a writer now? –she said, sarcasm in her voice.

Patrick laughed. – Well, I'm not sure about that. Let's just say I had some crazy ideas and someone put them on paper.

Then Brooke remembered Ilana, who had been watching the scene with a lot of interest.

– Oh! Right, well, _someone_ is actually here. She's Ilana Kritzer, Senior Editor of the Books' Division and my best friend as well.

Ilana and Patrick shook hands. – I thought I'd never meet you in person. –Ilana said.

– I'm really sorry we had to put the book together by phone and e-mail. It's tough with you based in New York and me living here. –Patrick replied, a little ashamed.

Ilana smiled at him. – Don't worry. It turned out well after all, it seems.

– It did. Great party by the way. Thanks for making it happen. I have no clue of how to throw parties, and I had no idea I knew all these people. –Patrick said, kind of proud.

– Well, you probably don't know half of them, but anyways… Enjoy your big night. –Ilana replied.

– I am. –Then Patrick turned to Brooke and said: – I've got to go for a minute, but don't you dare to leave. I'll be right back, okay?

– I'm not going anywhere. –she said.

Patrick left the girls and walked to the ballroom's entrance.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Jack was enjoying the taste of his Scotch while he waited for Patrick to show. He looked around and saw some familiar faces. All the members of Saint Sebastian's Board where there, as well as his colleagues and Andrea, who was now the Chief of Nurses. He didn't know the rest of the people. Just guests, he thought.

After five minutes of waiting, his look got trapped by someone crossing the room. She was wearing a black dress with thin straps, not too revealing, neither too tight. It just fitted her right. She was on high heels, yet she walked with grace. She had a really nice body, he thought, and her face looked fine, at least from that distance. She had long straight dark hair, which fell a little down her shoulders.

_She's pretty hot, _he thought. Then, another feeling got into him. He was surprised. No woman had called his attention in two years, and all of the sudden he was checking this black-dressed girl out.

He watched her sitting at the bar. It looked like she wasn't having a great time. _Must be waiting for her date_, Jack thought, pessimistic. The idea of her having a significant other annoyed him, which he found even more unbelievable. _And _w_hy do I give a shit?_ He thought, but still he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Off her back, actually, since she sat facing the bar, not him.

Then Jack saw another girl arriving to the table. She looked even more annoyed than the black-dressed girl. He flushed when he realized the annoyed girl caught him staring at them. He looked away. When he glanced back, he saw Patrick giving the hot girl a hug. _Perfect, he_ _knows her_, he thought.

– Look who's here! –Derek Mills, the brain surgeon, said, as he approached Jack and cut his thoughts off.

– Hey. –Jack said, still glancing at Patrick and friends.

– I bet Patrick 20 bucks you weren't coming.

– Well, I'm here. I guess that makes you a loser. –Jack replied, amused, finally getting his eyes off the other side of the room.

Derek was also a good friend of his and Patrick, as well as Varya, Derek's girlfriend, who was an oncologist. They'd been living together for two years now.

– Where's Varya? –Jack asked, trying to focus on something else.

– She's over there, talking to Marion.

– Marion's here? –Jack asked, skeptical. – Then I guess they're official now.

– I have no idea man, you know Patrick. He keeps saying it's just something casual, no strings attached.

– Yeah, right. –Jack said, laughing. Then _that_ feeling got him again. He was having a good time. Was that even possible? Derek kept talking, but Jack was busy trying to figure himself out.

– Hey! You're not listening to me. –Derek told Jack. – What are you looking at?

– Nothing. –replied Jack, trying not to look nervous.

Derek glanced at where Jack seemed to be staring and saw Patrick with the two girls. – Man! What a dog! I just hope Marion won't bust him, it would get ugly. –Derek said.

Jack just giggled, feeling relieved that Derek had no clue he was checking some girl out.

– They're ok. Wait, the one in the black dress is damn hot! –Derek corrected.

_I know, and you have a girlfriend, _Jack thought. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

– Who you think she is? –asked Derek.

Jack had no idea either. He was trying to articulate an answer when Patrick arrived. He shook hands with both of his friends.

– You owe me. –Patrick told Derek, a smug smile on his face.

– I'll pay you. –Derek replied, defeated.

– I'm still here, you know? You putting money on me? Are we in high school? –Jack said, rolling eyes.

– We know. And that's the price for being such an ass. You never go out, never come to parties, you really suck, man. –Patrick said, with a fake serious voice.

Soon the three men were talking about different stuff. Patrick's book, the colleagues attending the party, work issues… Then Derek left them and walked to Varya. Jack saw a good chance to ask Patrick about the hot girl.

– This is a huge party. Your face's all over the place. You think I can keep one of those? –Jack asked, pointing to the posters.

– Ha-ha, very funny. Actually I'm getting bored of talking to people I don't even know.

– I guess _that's_ the price for being famous. –Jack said, sarcastic. He took a sip of his drink, and then asked. – So, who's your friend?

– What friend?

– The one you were holding five minutes ago, behind Marion's back, by the way.

– Oh, you mean Brooke, at the bar? You're never going to believe it. She was my roommate at college and now it turns out she knows my editor. –Patrick explained. Jack found peculiar Patrick didn't bring up she was hot, like he didn't notice.

– Your roommate? _Great, then she's like twelve._ Jack didn't know exactly how old Patrick was, but he knew there was a difference of ten years between them, at least.

– It's a small world... I think you should meet her. –Patrick said, nonchalant.

Jack tensed up a little, thinking Patrick had noticed he had some interest in the girl.

– What?

– My editor, she's the real thing. Maybe _you_ can become a writer too. –Patrick replied, mocking Jack. – Besides, either you talk to her or to our beloved Board members.

Jack relaxed and threw Patrick a "No way" face when he mentioned the Board. – Sure, why not? Then my face can be all over the room next year. –He said, and then both men walked to the bar.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

When Patrick left, Brooke couldn't help but smile widely. She was really happy to see him, to talk to him, to finally reunite with her dear friend.

– You sure don't have a crush on him? –Ilana asked Brooke, curious.

– You know I don't, I've told you everything about us and our college years.

– Just checking. Because he's hotter than you described, I assume he's loaded with money from plastic surgeries, his patients are celebrities and now he published a book. Seems like a pretty good catch to me… Besides, he can fix your boobs when they fall to the floor.

– Ha-ha, that's exactly what he said. But no, I mean, of course the girl who finally gets him will be absolutely fortunate, but he's like a brother to me, nothing else. And weren't you telling me about this guy checking me out?

– Right. –Ilana glanced at the ballroom's entrance. – You can turn around now. That one, at the entrance, talking to the blonde one.

Brooke glanced and saw a broad-shouldered, tall man wearing a black Armani suit, which perfectly fitted him. He was definitely hot. Then she turned around to her previous position. – I know him. –she said, amazed.

– Oh, come on! Now you know all the hotties on the planet! –Ilana replied. – Who is he, anyway?

– Remember that famous plane crash that happened ages ago? The one from Sydney to here? The creepy island, wacky scientists and everything?

– Oh, right! What's with it?

– He's one of the survivors.

– No way! How can you remember him?

Brooke smiled, a bit ashamed. – Well, I kind of had a crush on him. He was like a real life hero. Or so said the media…

– You had a crush on him? Was that even legal? You were… what, eighteen?

– Nineteen. I read everything about him. He's a spinal surgeon, you know? A very talented one.

– Well, Dr. Spine was checking you out, bad.

Brooke felt flattered at Ilana's statement. It was kind of a teen idol finding her attractive. If she had been 19 again, she would have screamed of emotion. Now she wasn't screaming, but she still felt excited. Not because he was Jack Shephard, plane crash hero, but because he was an interesting man that might find her interesting.

– You think I should talk to him? –Brooke asked.

– Hell, no! If he wants you, he'll have to work you out.

– What if he doesn't?

– Then what a pity. Worthless…

– But he's so hot! Am I just letting him walk without giving it a shot?

– Yep.

– Yeah, that's easy for you to say, since you have a husband-to-be.

– My boyfriend has nothing to do with this. And drop the puppy eyes. Not working.

Then Ilana glanced at where Jack was and saw Patrick having a chat and laughing with him and the other blonde guy. Minutes later she saw the blonde walk away and meet a woman. – It might be your lucky day. –Ilana told Brooke.

– Why?

– Your friend seems to know him pretty well.

– Really?

– Yeah. I think they're talking about us right this minute.

– Now you're paranoid.

– Call me paranoid, but they're walking over here…


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Brooke barely had time to conceal before Jack and Patrick arrived to their table. She felt her face flush. Then Patrick put a hand on her shoulder.

– Brookie.

– Hey, you're back. –she said, trying to sound casual. Ilana was holding her laugh when she saw Brooke was really nervous.

– Yeah, and I'm here to introduce Doctor Jack Shephard, brilliant spinal surgeon, my mentor and one of my best friends. A huge influence in my life, I must say.

Jack felt embarrassed at such introduction. He managed a short smile and looked from Brooke to Ilana and then back to Brooke. Patrick went on.

– Jack, this is Ilana Kayser, my editor. She's the brain that put my thoughts together for the book.

– It's Kritzer. –Ilana said, forcing a smile. She shook Jack's hand.

– And this lady here… –Patrick continued– is Brooke Julian, a long time, dearest friend, former college roommate.

– It's a pleasure to meet you both. –Jack said, looking at Brooke and shaking her hand. He noticed Brooke gave him _that_ look, the one everybody that knew him from the crash gave him. _Please, don't ask me about that_, he thought. Then Patrick excused himself again and left them talking.

– So, I guess you and Patrick work together. –Ilana quickly said, to break the awkward moment.

– We do, he was actually one my interns.

– Really? –Ilana said, giving Jack a "Poor thing" look.

Jack smiled, knowing exactly what she meant. – Yeah, he can get to your nerves sometimes, he's kind of… scattered.

– You bet. –Ilana affirmed. Jack found Ilana really amusing, with a mix of sarcastic and black humor. – You write too? –she asked him with particular interest.

Jack laughed shortly at the question and remembered how he wasn't even able to write down his vows when he married Sarah. – I'm afraid not. I'm pretty bad at writing, to be honest.

Then he noticed Brooke wasn't getting into the conversation. Ilana also noticed Brooke had gone mute, and she threw her a "What the hell?" look. Jack made his move.

– So, you went to Columbia too? –he asked Brooke, casual. Ilana felt relieved that he wasn't as dumb as her friend.

– Yeah. _Perfect Brooke, just give one syllable answers, he'll go crazy with your amusing conversation_, she thought.

Jack kept trying to break the ice. ­– What's your major?

– I'm a journalist. _Come on Brooke! You can do better than that! _

– Really? What you write about? –Jack wasn't losing his patience with her short answers. After all, he was _way_ used to always have to pull words out of people.

Brooke finally put herself together and relaxed, thankful he didn't walk away from her, at least not yet. – I'm the fashion editor of The New York Days.

Jack didn't expect that. He thought she might be in a public relations sort of job. He had this wrong idea that really hot, sophisticated girls were always shallow and most of the times dumb_. Well, fashion's not a great topic_, he thought. – Definitely not my field. –Jack said, giving a short smile and looking down, shy.

_Right, Armani boy_, Brooke thought. The short time they had been talking, she had his whole outfit figured out. She couldn't help it, it was an automatic process. She saw his suit perfectly matched his shirt and tie. His shoes were shiny and simple. His cuff-links were Armani as well, and he was wearing the latest Tag Heuer watch. His style, she concluded, was minimalist elegance, which she thought was the best for men, especially when they looked like Jack.

– I wouldn't say so… –she replied, throwing Jack a flirtatious look. _Am I already flirting with him? God, I'm such a sluttie…_

Jack noticed she was switching to flirtatious mode. So did Ilana, finally breathing. Her friend was back from limbo. Seeing it was the right time to slip away and leave them alone, she said: – I've got to check on the escorts, the presentation's about to begin. It was nice to meet you, Jack. Here… –Ilana handed him her business card. – If you ever decide to start writing your memoirs.

– Right. Thanks. –Jack took the card and shook her hand again.

Ilana walked away from them and they restarted the conversation.

– Your boyfriend's coming tonight? _Did I just ask her that? _

Brooke smiled at the question and looked at him right in the eye. _Getting the info already, good boy_. – I don't have a boyfriend.

– Just dating?

– Nope. No dates at all. –When Brooke sensed he was two seconds away from giving her the "How come you don't have a boyfriend?" type of compliment, the speakers announced: _"All distinguished guests, please take your seats, we'll start in 3 minutes". _

_Damn it! Now I have to go sit with the Board_, Jack thought, terribly annoyed. Brooke also cursed in her thoughts. She had to join Ilana and other crew members.

– Show time. –she told him.

– Yeah. I've got to…–Jack said, pointing to one of the tables in the ballroom.

– Yeah, me too… but I'll see you in 30 minutes, okay?

– I can't wait. –he replied.

Brooke smiled at him and walked away, positive he would stare at her butt. So he did. _Jesus Christ, Jack. How old are you? You behave like a horny teenager_, he thought, still staring.

After Ilana read Patrick's profile and a brief of the book, she finally introduced him.

– Please welcome Dr. Patrick Mayer.

The audience received him with a nice ovation. Patrick took the stand and started telling how he brought his book to life.

Jack wasn't paying attention at all. He was replaying in his head the conversation with Brooke, if he could call _that_ a conversation. What he remembered the most was her face. He found her absolutely beautiful. She had big brown expressive eyes, a delicate small heart-shaped mouth, an honest smile and a perfect nose. If he hadn't been a doctor, he would have sworn she'd had a nose job. Her skin was a little tanned. She was sort of a Gabriella-type, but younger. No wonder why he found her so attractive.

As he was thinking about all that stuff, _that_ feeling got him again. He really couldn't believe he felt attracted to this girl. Like he didn't have a past, like if nothing ever happened_… _He felt overwhelmed at the notion of his past and dropped it._ What the hell? She might not like me at all. I'm too old for her anyway… or am I not?_ What he really felt was confusion. He felt excited with the idea of finding someone. He was lonely. But at the same time, he found that excitement inappropriate. He felt _guilt._

On the other hand, he didn't know what kind of girl she was, and especially, what kind of relationship she had with Patrick, now and back in college. _A guy and a girl living together? I kind of know how those stories usually end._ That could be an issue.

Meanwhile, Brooke was also thinking about him. She felt nervous. Nervous he wouldn't ask her phone number. Nervous she was misunderstanding the signals. _Maybe he's just being nice. He must be in his late 30's. What if he's married? _That thought crushed her. The last thing she needed was another troubled relationship. Besides, she believed marriage was a sacred bond, and her love ethics included never dating neither a married, nor an engaged man. Not even think about it.

The minute the presentation was over, Jack stood up and tried to locate Brooke. She was looking for him too. They finally ran into each other at the bar again.

– Hey. –he said, openly smiling at her.

– Hey. So, you liked the show?

– Well, Patrick's not my idea of an entertainer, but he was actually fine. He really can handle audiences. –he replied, amused.

– Oh, you have no idea! –she told him.

Jack found that comment revealing, and the pessimistic part of him thought they had definitely been involved. – You live around? –he asked.

_Please God, tell me he lives in New York_. – I live in New York.

Jack's face went blank. He couldn't help but wince. – Well, that's far.

– You live here. _Of course he lives here you dumb, he works with Patrick_.

– Yeah.

Trying to retain his interest, she explained. – Actually I come to LA very often.

– You do?

– Yeah, the thing is a lot of designers are based here and I have to come and check…

The beep of Jack's pager interrupted her. _Damn it,_ he thought. There had been a massive fire in a factory and dozens of injured workers were being taken to Saint Sebastian's ER. He had to be there.

Brooke watched him frown and figured something bad happened. – Is everything alright?

– It's an emergency. I have to go to the hospital. But I'd like to call you…

Brooke opened her eyes wide and smiled. She didn't react.

Jack was running out of time and he soon began switching to doctor mode, impatient. – I don't have your number.

– Oh! Right. –Brooke took a business card and a pen from her purse. She wrote her home number down and handed it to Jack.

– I'll call you. It's been nice to meet you. –he said, honestly.

– Same to me. –she replied. And with that, Jack ran to say goodbye to Patrick. He was followed by Derek, Varya and Andrea.

– What happened? –Ilana asked from behind her.

­– Hospital emergency. –Brooke replied, frustrated.

– So, how did it go?

– Everything was working out until his pager beeped. I gave him my number, but now I'm sure he'll lose it in the rivers of blood.

– Well, you still can keep track of him. You can ask Patrick.

– No way! He would make a big deal of it and probably ruin the whole thing.

– I think he'll call you. I was watching you both and I'm positive he likes you.

– I wish. –Brooke said, still staring at the door from where Jack left. She really liked him so far. – I wish he calls…


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Brooke was working late. Fashion Week was right on the corner and she was loaded with things to do. She looked at her calendar. September 15. It had been exactly a month after Patrick's book launching party.

During that month she kept in touch with Patrick. They both had been busy, but still exchanged e-mails and phone calls. She never asked him about his friend Jack, who of course never called. A few days after the party, when she realized he wasn't going to call, she felt upset and disappointed. But as days went by, she totally forgot about it. Now, with the Spring-Summer Season arriving, she barely had time to think of anything but work, work, work.

The phone rang and she literally jumped from her chair. It was Ilana.

– Why are you still there?

– I can't get all these done. I'm so tired…

– Go home and get in the tub. You've done enough for today.

– I have not. I need to leave this ready before going to LA.

– You can't change that schedule?

– I don't' think so, unless you can find a way to move LA's Fashion Week further.

– You should move to my division. Everything's happiness here…

– Right, well, when I get to migrate to Happiness Land, you can make me waste more time, honey. But now I've got to go.

– Ok, see you.

When Brooke got promoted to fashion editor at the journal, she never thought it would be such hard work. Bosses are supposed to do nothing, right? But she was always invited to review runways, new collections' launchings, new designers' introductions. Her work was respected since she managed the section from her point of view. She did her best to portrait the fashion industry in a more realistic and less superficial way. Therefore, the pages of her section were always full of interesting articles that went beyond the fancy stuff of fashion.

Her piece about how modeling should be considered just a job and not an ideal of life or appearance, earned her a lot of respect in journalism and in the fashion industry as well. It also gave her a Pulitzer Prize. And that Pulitzer earned her the promotion and an awful break up too.

The next week, Ilana drove Brooke to the airport. She was going to LA for 16 days, to cover pre-Fashion Week and Fashion Week per se.

– You're going to see Patrick? –Ilana asked.

– He doesn't even know I'm going. I didn't have time to call him.

– You can call him from there.

– I think you're not getting the picture, hon. I'm going to work. Hell of work.

– You're getting there a week in advance, I think you can make yourself some time.

– And why you care if I see him or not?

– Well, I just thought… maybe… –Ilana divagated.

– Oh, just say it already.

– Say what? You have no idea what I'm talking about.

– Really? _I do_, missy.

– You do? Then tell me.

– You want me to see Patrick so I can ask him about his doctor friend.

– Now you're talking nonsense.

– Oh please Ilana! –Brooke raised her voice, losing her patience.

– Ok, ok. Well, yeah, why it's such a big deal to ask him about Dr. Spine? I mean, you're a smart girl, you can be casual. He doesn't have to know you're interested…

– Okay, number one, I'm _not_ interested. Number 2, since I'm not interested, why should I bother to ask about him?

– You're not interested? –Ilana shot back, disbelief in her voice.

– I'm not. Why should I care for a guy who never even called?

– Well, let me see… Because you were _drooling_ for him at the party, because you told me after he left _you wished_ he called you. Basically, because you _so_ want him, bad.

– Ok, fine. I admit he impressed me. But he never called. Worthless, as you said. He might be married anyway…

– Well, I guess we'll never know since you're such a chicken and won't find out…

– And since when you encourage me to go chase men? As far as I can remember, you're the one who reveals to me all my dates' flaws…

Ilana got ambushed by that statement. True, she always warned Brooke about potential date dangers. True, she had something else in mind… – Okay then. You've got me. The thing is you told me Dr. Spine was in that famous plane crash, right?

– So?

– And you said he's like best friends with Patrick, correct?

– Correct, and you're not making a point.

– Ok, the point is Patrick is like your best male friend, and I was thinking maybe you could ask him to convince the doctor to write down his plane crash memoirs for me.

– Oh-my-God! You're disgusting…

– Why? –Ilana replied, high pitched and surprised. – It would be a huge best-seller!

– You just want book material and pretend to _use me_ to get it? I don't believe you.

– Oh, come on! I'm not using anybody. But would you do that for me?

– Of course not! Who the hell you think I am? Jesus!

– Someone's a little _too_ sensitive today…

– And someone's being a real _ass_ today…

– Ouch! Okay, okay, easy… I'll ask Patrick myself. But for the record, I really think you should ask him about the doctor, for personal purposes, you know.

– There you go again…

– I mean it Brooke. I think you sparked. God, you even got nervous! You never get nervous around guys. And I think he's a good man.

– Now you're a clairvoyant! How could you know that?

– I saw it in his eyes. It's a gift…– Ilana replied raising an eye brow, serious this time.

– Okay gipsy, we're here.

– Call me when you get to LA, okay?


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Jack didn't lose Brooke's number in the rivers of blood at the hospital that night. He just forgot he put it in the pocket of his Armani suit's jacket, a suit he only wore at special occasions. Therefore, he thought he had lost it. He didn't dare to ask Patrick for it, and made a thousand excuses for not to. _What's the use? She lives in New York anyway and she's way younger than me. She must date models or guys like that… I'm better off alone… _

The truth is he wasn't. The last ten years had been hell for him. Well, not the whole ten years, to be fair. When they got rescued after two years on the island, he actually started a new life. A happy life. It was perfect, actually, till two years ago, when his world collapsed again. But he didn't want to think about that, at least not at that very moment.

He looked at his watch. 4:23 pm. He had the evening off at the hospital to drive his mother to the airport. He and Margo had been really close since he came back from the island. Margo worked hard to straight things up with her son ever since, and she never felt happier than the day she knew Jack was alive.

Margo was going to visit her sister in Philadelphia. She insisted Jack to come, telling him it would be a nice vacation for them, but Jack turned her down.

– You ready? –he asked Margo, grabbing his car keys.

– I am.

– Okay, let's go.

He pulled over at the airport and helped Margo with her bags. Once in there, she gave her son a big hug.

– Take care, honey.

– You'll only be gone for a week, mom. It's not like you're leaving forever.

– Well, you never know…

The whole "One day you might get on a plane and never come back" thing was a sensitive subject for them, so Margo changed it.

– I almost forget. I got your black suit to the dry clean and they found this in your jacket –she said, handing Jack a business card, Brooke's.

Jack's eyes opened widely. _There it was…_ He remembered Brooke all of the sudden, like she was some from above. – Thanks mom.

Margo didn't ask him anything about the card or whose was it, and she walked to her gate.

Jack thought of grabbing a bite and walked out the airport. On his way to the exit, he watched people go by. He saw a man getting out the international arrivals' gate. A woman jumped the man. His wife, he thought. She looked extremely happy of seeing her husband again. They held each other for what seemed forever to Jack, and then they walked out together, holding hands.

Then Jack realized he felt really lonely. He missed that. He missed having someone to love, to love him back, to hold hands with. He thought of Brooke again and why he didn't call her. He stared at her card, still in his hand. Then he looked up. He couldn't believe his eyes. Brooke was there.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

After more than four hours of flight, Brooke felt totally jet-lagged and she was having trouble with her bags. They were too big and too much. The problem was she had to bring zillion outfits with her, since she had to attend brunches, dinners, cocktails, runways, launchings, and so on. After all, she was a fashion editor and she had to look like one. She didn't have a personal assistant to carry her bags, she found that too pretentious. She wanted to keep things simple.

When she finally managed to carry one bag on her shoulder, her purse on the other, her briefcase in one hand and pull with the other her gigantic case with wheels, she walked to the exit. Jack scared the shit out of her when he showed.

– Hey! –Jack said, panting after running to reach her. – What are you doing here?

Brooke froze and turned pale. The last thing she expected was running into Jack at an airport.

– Hey… –she replied, surprised. Brooke had forgotten how beautiful Jack was. Since the days she was 19 and had a crush on him, he had aged wonderfully. He looked manlier than ever.

– You're here.

– I am, for work. –Brooke replied, feeling embarrassed because she looked like hell.

– How long you're staying?

– Couple of weeks.

– That's great. –Jack thought at that moment he definitely had to make the most of those two weeks. – Where you're staying? Is anybody picking you up? –he asked, going into his "take charge" mode, as usual.

– Um… the Beverly Hilton.

– Who's driving you?

Actually, she was planning on getting a cab. – Nobody.

– I can drive you.

– Oh, it's okay, I'll just get a cab.

– I insist. The Beverly Hilton is on my way home anyway.

– Don't you have to work?

– I have the evening off. –Jack looked at her huge bags and smiled back at her. – And I think you could use some help with those.

Brooke felt like melting when she saw that smile. It was true, she needed help with her luggage. And it would be way better to have Jack as a driver than some anonymous taxi man. – Okay, thank you. –she said.

He took the bags and she just had to take care of her purse. _He's strong_, she thought. When they got to the parking lot, he opened his car door for her. _And a gentleman, too._ Then he placed the bags in the trunk. They were ready to go.

Brooke went mute inside the car. She just had no idea what to say. She found weird he insisted on driving her after he never called her back. Besides, from time to time Jack glanced at her, making her nervous.

– What were you doing at the airport? –Brooke asked, finally breaking the silence.

– I drove my mother. She went to Philadelphia to visit her sister.

– You're from Philadelphia?

– No… And what you have to work in? –he asked, changing the subject abruptly.

– Fashion Week.

– Sounds like fun. –he tried to be amusing.

– It depends.

– On what?

– Never mind… –Brooke replied, thinking there was no use in explaining him 80 per cent of the people in fashion industry were shallow, empty and always faking it. – Nice car.

– You think? –asked Jack, as if he didn't think so.

– You know it's nice. –Brooke said, as if telling him playing naïve didn't suit him.

Jack got it and then he sensed she was upset. He immediately figured the reason was he didn't call her. – I never called.

– Excuse me?

– After Patrick's party. I said I'd call and I didn't.

– It came to me. –she shot back, as she didn't care.

– I'm sorry, I… lost your number. –Jack lied, and then realized that wasn't a fair excuse, since he could have asked Patrick. – I didn't know if asking Patrick would've been a good idea.

– Probably not. –she affirmed.

Jack interpreted that answer as another sign she and Patrick had been more than friends, but didn't want to get into that yet, so he totally changed the subject again. – You look good.

– Right… –Brooke said sarcastic, knowing she was having an awful "bad hair" day.

– You do. It's good to see you, Brooke. –Jack glanced at her and smiled, to confirm he meant it.

_God, that smile, don't smile like that,_ she thought. – Well, thanks. But I've had better days, trust me.

– So, what you're doing tonight? –he asked her.

– Just get in the tub and have a long, nice sleep. –she said, meaning it. She didn't want to go out, not that night.

The image of her in the tub and then on a bed enticed Jack. _That_ feeling got him again. _I don't believe myself. I'm a pervert. _

They arrived to the hotel. Jack pulled over and told a bell boy to take Brooke's bags. Then he walked her to the lobby.

– What are you doing tomorrow? –he tried again.

– I have quite a schedule. I'll be busy most of the day. –Brooke was giving him a hard time, knowing he was trying to ask her out. But Jack wasn't planning to give in.

– Well, I guess you might want to eat sometime during your busy day. –he replied with a suggestive smile.

– I guess. Why you ask? –she told him, finally surrendering to his charm.

– Because I would like to make it up to you and buy you dinner.

– You're asking me out?

– Absolutely.

Brooke couldn't resist him anymore. The truth was she wanted to jump him the minute they met at the airport. – Okay, I think I can make myself sometime.

– Fantastic. 9:00 O'clock is okay?

– Yeah. –she replied, finally smiling widely at him and giving him her classic flirtatious look.

– It's a date. I'll pick you up here, okay?

– Fine.

– Right, I'll see you tomorrow, then.

– I'll see you tomorrow.

– Night Brooke, sweet dreams. –he said, giving her a warm look and smile.

– Night Jack, and thanks for driving me.

– You're welcome.

Jack walked away from her and now Brooke was the one staring at his butt. _Holy Mary… he's damn hot. And I'm having a date with him tomorrow. Maybe he does like me after all. _

She checked-in and went to her room, 842. As soon as she got there, she called Ilana and told her all about her encounter with Jack. She got in the tub and couldn't help but feel happy. Then she realized she was getting a little too excited about him. That worried her somehow. She had broken up just 8 months ago and hadn't thought if she was ready to date again. But the idea of having dinner with Jack thrilled her. She really had a crush on him, just like when she was 19, but this time it was real.


	9. Chapter 9

Hi there! Happy Valentine's Day! Here 2 new chapters to celebrate, funny and romantic ;)  
Thanks to Foxy4ever for the review.  
Please review!!

**Chapter 9**

The next morning Brooke woke up early. She had a couple of meetings and some other things to attend. She was quite in a good mood, even though she had a complicated day. But all she could think about was her date with Jack. Having brought a million clothes with her, she still thought she had nothing to wear for the occasion. She wanted to look perfect and impress him in the best way. She'd figure it out later.

Meanwhile, Jack was also in a cheery mood. He woke up early as always and went on with his usual routine. He planned on leaving the hospital at 5:00 pm, go home, make the reservation and get dressed up.

He was checking some medical charts when Patrick stepped into his office.

– Dr. Shephard, may I come in?

– Since when you ask?

– I was trying to be polite. So, are you going to Varya's birthday party?

– When's the thing again?

– A week from today.

– I forgot about it, but yeah, why not? –Jack replied, smiling.

– Did you just say yes? –Patrick asked in disbelief.

– Yeah, why? –Jack shot back, amused.

– Are you on dope or something? I thought I had to beg you to come, as always.

– Well, not this time, I'll just go.

Patrick couldn't help but notice Jack was in a good mood, an excellent one actually, something totally unusual in him. Jack had never been Mr. Ha-ha, but since two years ago he barely smiled.

– Okay, what is it? –Patrick asked, completely curious.

– What?

– You're happy. And it's freaking me out. It's so not like you. Why are you so smiley today?

Jack giggled at Patrick's question. – Am I that pathetic?

– You're not pathetic man, you've just been having a bad time lately. But not today, so, shoot.

– Nothing.

– Right. Come on, tell me.

– Maybe I had a nice dream, I don't know… –Jack replied, still smiling.

– Oh you dog! You got laid, right? You've got to tell me everything.

Jack burst his laugh out. – I didn't get laid. I swear.

­ – But you will, right? You've got a date.

– Are you a girl? Because you sound like one with that kind of questions.

– Oh, come on, what's the big deal?

– It's not a big deal, it's just _private._

– Right. So, when are you seeing this mysterious lady?

– Tonight.

– God bless her, whoever she is.

– Very funny. But tell me, how did your readings go? The book's sales and everything.

– They're huge, my editor's working miracles. I'm already number two in sales.

– How about that? Unbelievable.

– Hey! My book is actually good, you should read it sometime.

– I have, and I hated it.

– Son of a bitch.

– It breaks my heart, but… –Jack mocked, and then gave Patrick a long look.

– What? –Patrick told him.

– Can I ask you something personal? –Jack said back.

– Shoot.

– This friend of yours, the one at your party… –he asked, as if he didn't remember her name. Patrick didn't seem to know whom was he talking about. – The one who knows your editor? –Jack finished.

– Brooke?

– Brooke, right… you told me she was your roommate…

– Yeah. Why? –Then it totally hit Patrick. – Oh-my-God! She's your date? She's here? When she got here? I don't believe you both!

Jack stiffened and got tense, he never expected Patrick to be so sly. – Why you think she's my date? She doesn't even live in town. –he said, nerves in his voice.

Patrick found it completely amusing and played Jack's game. – Okay, so, what you want to know about her?

– You ever… you know… went out?

– Of course, million times.

– I mean in the other way.

Patrick was enjoying himself. – What way?

­– Like in a date way.

– Why you want to know?

– I need to know.

– You _need_ to know? Why? –Patrick had Jack against the wall.

– Okay, fine. Well… it turns out she's in town, I just ran into her at the airport yesterday, and yes, I asked her out.

– That is amazing! She never mentioned she liked you! –Patrick said, feeling really happy about it, especially for Jack.

– So, did you go out back in college? –Jack insisted.

– Is that a problem? –Patrick snapped.

– No… I mean… is it? –Jack replied, doubtful.

Patrick couldn't stifle his laugh anymore. – Kidding man, we never dated.

– You sure?

– Of course I'm sure! Why would I lie about that?

– Well, I don't know… –Jack said, hesitating.

– What? Why don't you believe me? –Patrick asked, laughing.

– It's just… I mean, you had this girl living under your same roof for God knows how long and you never tried anything?

– You mean because she's hot?

– Well, yeah. If she had been my roommate, I would've totally made a move on her.

– Really? What kind of move?

– _Any_ move.

– Like jump her? –Patrick asked, smirking.

– Well, that too…–Jack admitted.

– Well, of course when I first met her I hit on her, but she's not that kind of girl, so we became friends and later we were roommates.

– She's not _what_ kind of girl? –Jack asked, intrigued.

– The kind you just fool around with. She's for keeps, you know.

Jack gave Patrick another hesitant look, so he explained. – When I met her I was 19 and all I wanted was to screw as many girls as possible. We met at a party and we talked. Then it hit us both, she knew I was a fox and I realized she was on steady relationships, but we still liked each other. So, I didn't want to screw her, she wouldn't let me anyway, and we became best friends instead. She's been like a sister to me ever since.

Jack was listening with full attention and felt relieved after he heard the story. – So, It's okay with you if we go out? –he asked, for reassurance.

– It's _beyond_ okay. Man, there's no way you can find a better woman. Brooke's amazing, she really is. Young, successful, committed, nice family, great job and outstanding looks. She's got it all. Really, I couldn't be happier for you both. I'm going to call her and fight her for not telling me about this. –Patrick affirmed, content.

– Don't make a big deal about it, it's not like we planned it. It just happened. She's here for work for two weeks.

– But you liked her since the party, didn't you?

– True. But I never called her and now I find her at the airport. Lucky me…

– You bet.

– So, what else can you tell me about her?

– You're asking for references? –Patrick shot back.

– You're really enjoying yourself, aren't you?

– I am. –Patrick replied with a smug smile. – Okay, let's see… she's got to be 27, 'cause she's a year younger than me. Excellent student, very popular at college. Daddy's a lawyer, she has a younger brother. No boyfriend, I assume. Oh, and she was a model back then.

– A model? –Jack asked, raising an eyebrow.

– It surprises you? She still looks like one, don't you think?

– She does.

– But don't you worry. She's everything but an airhead. She's not an easy girl, you know. She's the one that always gets away with it. When she wants something, she doesn't take "no" for an answer. She can be very stubborn, trust me.

– Totally my type.

– I can see. So, enjoy man. Hey, I can ask her to come to Varya's if you want.

– That's a good idea. But Marion, she won't get pissed?

– I'll handle Marion.

– Of course you will.

– Well man, I don't want to waste your time anymore, I don't want you to blame me for being late tonight.

– Fine.

– See you.

Patrick left the office and Jack smiled at himself. He had seen Brooke only two times, but he was already loving everything about her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Brooke was finally over with all her schedule. She had worked in amazing speed, motivated by the fact she was seeing Jack within hours. She had been smiling all day long. At 7:00 pm she was back in her room, ready to start her beauty ritual.

After dwelling on it for ages, she had finally chosen her outfit. She didn't know what kind of place Jack was taking her to, but since he was a doctor, she thought it would be somewhere nice.

It was Fall, so she picked a light purple silky short dress. I wasn't _that_ short, it got to her knees. It had short round sleeves that fell a little on her shoulders. It had a "V" neckline, not too low, but it revealed a little of her cleavage. She liked discrete accessories, so she picked short earrings and a long necklace with lilac, purple and white Swarovski crystals and other stones, which ended right before the neckline of her dress. Her shoes matched the dress, of course. They had a round end, and the heels were high, as most of her shoes. Her purse was also perfect for the dress.

Brooke rarely used her hair up. She just left it fall down her shoulders. She had heavy layered hair, so she had no problem fixing it. Her bangs were cut in a messy way, giving her a stylish look. Her make-up was light and smooth, and she liked her lips glossy and lined. She completed the outfit with a nice top-stitched coat and of course some drops of her perfume, which was soft, with some notes of grape and other sweet citrus fruits, fresh at the same time. She was finally ready to meet Jack Shephard.

When Jack was done he stared at the mirror. He felt overwhelmed by his own image. _What am I doing? How can I have a date after all that happened? It's only been 2 years. I must be out of my mind…_ he thought. The feeling of guilt trapped him again, but it was too late to cancel. He was a gentleman after all, and he would never stand Brooke up.

As he drove to her hotel, thousand contradictory feelings and thoughts crossed his mind. He felt guilty for trying to move on, but at the same time he thought he had all the right to start over, though after everything that happened to him, he was starting to think he wasn't meant to be happy. _The Red Sox might have won the Series, but maybe I'm just meant to suffer. That's what my dad would've said anyway… _

He pulled over and went to the lobby. He asked to one of the girls at the front desk to dial Brooke Julian and tell her he was there.

– There's no answer, sir. You want me to try again? –the girl told him.

– It's okay, she must be on her way down. ­­–he replied.

Brooke got in the elevator and went down to the lobby. She started to feel nervous. _Why am I nervous? It's just a date. God, don't fall for him Brooke, not yet. You know anything about him_. The doors of the elevator opened and she saw him standing backwards. He was wearing navy blue trousers and jacket with a lighter blue shirt. It seemed as if he sensed Brooke coming, because he turned around at the very moment she stepped out the elevator. He looked absolutely gorgeous, tall and debonair as he was. He gave Brooke a short smile and then looked away, shy. Brooke felt her legs trembling.

When he looked back at her, he opened his eyes widely. She looked stunning. He looked deeply at her, making her nervous and look down. She finally was standing in front of him.

– Hey. –she said, shyly.

Jack looked at her up and down. – Wow… You're beautiful… –he told her, looking in her eyes.

– Thanks. –she replied, biting her lip.

– Shall we?

– Sure…

They got in Jack's car and had some small talk. They both relaxed almost immediately, as if they knew each other for ages. He asked her about her day and found her conversation really interesting. The whole editor thing was a new world for him and, eager to learn more everyday as always, he enjoyed Brooke's stories.

– So, where we're going? –she asked, smiling.

– To this place I really like, not too crowded, great food, not pretentious.

– Sounds great to me.

– Really? I thought you'd like other kind of places.

– Like what?

– I don't know… trendy places, maybe.

– Right. And why you think that?

– No… I mean… I don't know what I mean. ­–he said, embarrassed.

Brooke threw a short laugh. – It's okay, I get that a lot.

– What?

– _That_, you know. People always think I'm shallow because I work in fashion.

– You're not shallow. You're… sophisticated…

– Am I? I don't think so… –Jack glanced at her with a suspicious look. – I mean it, I'm a simple person… fashion's just a job to me…

– So you don't like fancy places and fancy stuff?

– Well, I mean, who doesn't? But that's not what's important to me…

They arrived to this sushi restaurant, which was just as Jack described, but it was nice and, yes, fancy after all.

– So, what you're having? –he asked her.

Brooke hesitated and stared at the menu. – Um… I really don't know… why don't you pick for me?

– Really?

– Yeah, I guess you know what's best here…

– Okay… you're going to love it. They have the best sushi in the world here.

– Can you order some rice too, please?

– Sure…

As time went by, Jack and Brooke were enjoying the conversation a lot, especially him. Brooke was very funny and expressive, and Jack could perfectly imagine every detail she described. He was laughing out loud as he pictured Patrick dressed as a hooker at some frat party and throwing up on Brooke's favorite shoes after getting wasted at beer competitions. She also told him how they always took care of each other in sickness, mid-terms, hangovers and breakups.

Then he realized Brooke hadn't touched the food.

– Why you're not eating?

– Oh, it's just because I'm talking too much… maybe if you talk now, I can have a bite. ­–she told him, playfully.

Jack didn't want to talk about him. – Well, I'm very boring, to be honest with you. I'm not half interesting as you are… –he said, trying to change the subject.

– You're not boring at all. Come on, tell me something about you.

Jack frowned a little. – Okay, let me see… I, um, play the piano.

– Really? You like music?

– Absolutely. Music's a big part of my life.

– And you also play golf like all doctors do?

Jack laughed at that question, because as much of a cliché that statement was, it was true. – I'm afraid I do. And I think I'm pretty good at it, you know? You like sports?

– I like to watch sports, and I exercise to stay fit, but I'm not a huge athlete or anything.

Jack noticed she still wasn't eating. – You didn't like the food, did you? –he asked her.

Brooke flushed and then confessed. – The thing is… I don't eat sushi…

– Really? Are you allergic?

– I'm not allergic. I just don't like it.

Jack opened his eyes widely in disbelief. – How can you not like sushi? I mean, you were a model and you don't like sushi?

– Yeah, that's a thing people find very odd about me, but there's something about raw fish that I just don't… –Then it hit Brooke. – Wait a minute, how you know I was a model?

Jack got busted and he flushed. – Um… Patrick told me.

– Patrick told you? And why were you and Patrick talking about me?

– It just… came out. –he said, embarrassed.

– It came out? –she replied, raising an eyebrow.

– Yeah, but now _you _wait a minute, why you didn't tell me you don't like sushi? I would've taken you somewhere else. –he asked, mortified.

– Oh, it's just… I mean, you told me you love this place and I thought it would be rude to tell you and make you leave. –she said, embarrassed this time.

Jack couldn't believe how sweet she was and ran out of words.

– But I can eat the rice, you know. And I'm definitely having one big dessert. –she said, smiling widely at him.

Jack smiled back and they went on with their chat. Brooke then told him everything about her job and how she met Ilana, who was her best friend and the sister she never had, and all the things she had learnt from her. He also learnt that her dad, Terry Julian, run a law firm in New York, and that her brother, Terry junior, had just turned 24 and become a lawyer as well, but wasn't very involved in the family business yet.

Jack loved how easy was for Brooke to share all those aspects of her life, as if she had nothing to hide or feel ashamed of. She was totally transparent and open, which Jack found not only charming, but unique. He never met someone that genuine.

They left the restaurant and got back to the hotel. Jack walked Brooke to the lobby again.

– Well, we're here. –she told him, smiling.

– Yeah. –he answered. Then he felt this urge inside him. He wanted to kiss her.

_Please kiss me, please kiss me_, Brooke thought. – I had a great time, Jack.

– Me too. I hadn't laughed like that in a very long time. It felt great.

– Then try to laugh more. _I'm so going to kiss him right now._

Jack looked in her eyes and then at her lips. _Just kiss her… _– Can I call you tomorrow? Just in case you have some time off, you know…

– I'd love to. –she replied, biting her lip. _Please Jack, kiss me goodnight._

Then Jack got closer to her and put his hand on the low of her back. She shivered and closed her eyes, thinking that he was going to kiss her. So he did, only he didn't kiss her on the lips. She gave her a deep, sweet kiss on the cheek. – Good night Brooke, it was great to have dinner with you.

Brooke hid her disappointment. – It was great for me too. Good night Jack and thank you.

He let go off her and walked away_. I just don't believe myself. On the cheek, I kissed her on the cheek. Am I twelve? Jesus, Jack!_

Brooke watched him walk away and get in his car. The minute he left, she ran to her room to call Ilana, who was in New York biting her nails and waiting for her to call and tell her everything about the date.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

– On the cheek? He kissed you on the cheek? –Ilana asked again, not believing her ears.

– Yep. And I'm not thrilled either, believe me.

– Maybe he's gay…

– Of course he's not gay! I don't know… maybe I'm just not his type… or maybe I'm misunderstanding the whole thing and he just wants to be friends with me…

– Friends my ass! Maybe he didn't want to kiss you because he had sushi breath…

Brooke laughed at that idea. – No, I mean, seriously, maybe he's just a gentleman. –Ilana corrected.

– He is, I assure you…

The rest of the call Brooke described Ilana how perfect Jack was, every move he made, every smile, every look, every word. Ilana could see her friend was delighted with him.

– So, when you're seeing him again?

– He said he'll call me tomorrow…

– That's my girl! So, when you're telling him about writing down his bio for me?

– Okay, conversation's over… Night-y sweetie…

– But wait… –Ilana was cut off by Brooke hanging up the phone.

Jack called her the next day and they had lunch. Then he called her the day after, and they shared a pizza. When Brooke had no time to meet him, they talked on the phone for hours. He called or sent messages to her all the time, and Brooke's eyes went brighter every time she heard his voice.

Jack was fascinated with her. During all their dates and phone calls, he learnt Brooke's favorite color was blue, and red came second place. He knew her favorite treat was chocolate, though she never bought chocolates herself because she would eat them non-stop till there was none left. He learnt tulips were her favorite flower and that she hated to be rushed. Every time he called her because he couldn't meet her, he asked her what she was wearing, because he wanted to picture her and imagine every single detail of her. Brooke thought that him asking her to describe her outfit was hell sexy.

Every time they talked or went out during that week, Brooke came back to her room and called Ilana to tell her the whole story with exact details.

– You've slept with him already?

– God no! We've just dated for a week.

– Well, it's not like you have forever, do you? You're coming back in another week. –Ilana warned her.

– Yeah, I know… but I don't want to rush things, you know? Neither does him, trust me… –Brooke told her, a little sorrow in her voice.

– Why? –Ilana asked.

– Well… will you kill me if I tell you he hasn't even kissed me yet?

– Get out!

– It's true… and I hate it. I mean… I think he doesn't like me in that way, I just don't understand…

– Yeah right! Y_ou_ kiss him. –Ilana demanded.

– I _so_ want to…

– Then do it, what's to lose?

– Nothing…

– So, what we know so far about him?

– Well, he's Chief of Surgery at St. Sebastian Hospital, he plays piano and golf, he likes music… he loves this sushi restaurant he took me to on our first date… oh, and he's a Red Sox fan…

– How sweet! –Ilana said, taunting. – But besides his hi5 profile, what you know about his life?

Brooke ran out of words… It was true, so far, she didn't know anything else about Jack. – Wow… I'm so stupid!

– Why you say that? –Ilana asked.

– I talk so much I haven't given him the chance to tell me about him! –Brooke affirmed, worried.

– Then shut the fuck up and let him do the talking!

– I will…

– It's about time, don't you think sweetie?

– Okay, what's that? ­–Brooke shot back, curious.

– What?

– You're worried…

– I'm not, why should I be? –Ilana snapped, nervous.

– You're using pet names. You only do that when you're worried.

– Right… The thing is Brookie… you're so excited about this guy and… well, you might want to know what his intentions are and also what it is you want.

– Intentions?

– Yeah, I mean, where's all these going? You're just like high school sweeties. And I don't think neither of you is looking for a fuck-buddy, do you? Since he's _so_ slow at the physical thing and stuff…

Brooke went silent. – No, of course not. I don't think so… –she said, feebly.

­­– So, if you're planning to get serious with him, you should talk about it, don't you think? Unless you only want to fuck him, which you don't, 'cause it's been forever and you haven't even kissed the man… –Ilana said sternly.

– Yeah… you've got a point there.

– Then stop dwelling on it, be a big girl and just ask him. –Ilana advised.

– I will… promise…

– And don't forget to ask him about the plane crash and…

– There you go again! Night Ilana… –Brooke hung up on her again. Ilana was right, what was this all about? She lived on the other coast and knew long distance relationships were challenging and most of the times doomed, but she definitely didn't see in Jack just a friend or a man to sleep with once in a while.

On the other hand, the problem was not that Brooke talked too much and didn't give Jack a chance to share about his life. The truth was he didn't want to talk about him at all. When he met with Brooke, he stuffed her with questions, so that all the time they spent together she wouldn't stop talking. Then he would just listen and love every single word that came out of her lips.

The next day Brooke had lunch with Jack and they had a great time as always. When he was driving her back to the hotel, his cell phone rang…

– Hey… No, I'm in the car, what's up? –Brooke pretended she wasn't paying attention to what he was saying, but in fact she could vaguely hear on the other side of the line the voice of a woman. He continued talking.

– I'll take care of it, don't worry. Okay… I'll come over after work… See you…

When he hung up, Brooke tensed a little and gave him a questioning look. He noticed it and sighed. – It was Claire…

– Claire, huh? And who's Claire?

– My sister…

Brooke's eyes lightened up. – You have a sister?

– Yeah, and a nephew and a niece.

– That's sweet, how old are they?

– Um, let me see… Aaron is 10 and Charlene's 6.

– They must be gorgeous…

– They are, they both look like Claire… she has amazingly beautiful blue eyes…

– You get along with her?

– Absolutely, with her and her husband too.

– She's married?

– Yeah, she married Charlie Pace, you ever heard of him?

– Charlie Pace? The one of Drive Shaft? Oh-my-God! My brother is a huge fan of Charlie since he went solo! He's never going to believe it! –Brooke said, totally excited.

Jack realized he had given away too much and just smiled at her. For his relieve, before she could ask anything else, they arrived to the hotel.

– Here we are, Miss. –he told Brooke, smiling shortly.

– Oh, we got here so fast… so, I see you tomorrow? –she asked him, moistening her lips.

– Sure. –he replied, looking deeply at her.

Brooke couldn't stifle the urge to kiss him anymore. She unfastened her seatbelt and leaned on him. She placed one hand on one of his cheeks and kissed him sweetly on the lips. Jack wasn't expecting that and shivered. Her lips were so soft and wet, he felt immediately aroused. He placed his hand on the back of her neck and deepened the kiss. When he felt her tongue inside his mouth, he moaned. They got cut off by the horn of the car behind them.

– See you tomorrow Jack, have a nice evening… –she said, seductively, then she got off the car and walked to the lobby without looking back at him.

Jack felt his heartbeat speed up as he watched her walking away. A mix of sensations crossed him again. He really liked Brooke, a lot, and he still felt surprised about it. Kissing her had been beyond his expectations and he wanted to just get off the car and go jump her right there. But he didn't. He still had a past she had no idea about and that he wasn't ready to share yet.

Meanwhile, Brooke walked to her room. She was smiling widely, happy because he responded to her kiss. Jack was a terrific kisser, she thought, and while the elevator went up, she was dreaming about how it would be when she finally made love with him. Then she realized it and felt overwhelmed and scared: she had already fallen in love with Jack.

The next day was Thursday, exactly a week after Brooke ran into Jack at the airport. She couldn't wait to see him for lunch. All she could think about was how they kissed the day before, and she definitely wanted to repeat it. Then something occurred to her. She went to St. Sebastian to look for Jack and surprise him before going lunch.

When she got to the front desk, she asked the nurse. – Hello, I'm looking for Dr. Jack Shephard please?

– Sure, his office is down the hallway. His assistant is in a break right now, but you can wait outside and I'll page him. Who's asking?

– Brooke Julian. Thank you very much.

Brooke went right to his office and waited outside for a minute. Then she thought of getting inside to surprise him even more. When she sneaked in, she got surprised when she saw a beautiful little girl sitting in Jack's armchair. She had dark brown wavy hair, up in a pony tail. She had big green eyes, white skin and some freckles on her nose. She stared at Brooke with curiosity, whilst playing with the photo frames on Jack's desk.

– Hi… I'm sorry, I didn't know somebody was here. –Brooke told the little girl, sweetly.

– You're looking for the doctor? –the girl asked.

– Yes…

– Are you his patient?

Brooke nodded, seeing no point in explaining her relationship with Jack to some little girl. – Yes… are you his patient too?

– No… he's my daddy…


	12. Chapter 12

Okay, this is getting interesting... I think this chapter will get some reviews :p

Look for the next chapter on Monday. Enjoy!

P.S. Thanks again to Foxy4ever, I love your reviews ;)

**Chapter 12**

Brooke froze when she heard that. _Son_ _of a bitch! He's married, of course he's married!_ she thought, feeling an overwhelming urge to cry. Her thoughts were interrupted by the little girl…

– It's the heels…

– What you said? –Brooke asked, not getting what the little girl had just told her.

– That's why your back hurts. You use high heels…

– My back doesn't hurt. –Brooke replied.

– Then why you want to see my daddy?

Brooke paralyzed at the question. – I have um… other affection… –Brooke replied, looking deeply at the girl. She didn't look a lot like Jack. _Must look like her mother_, she thought. Still, Brooke could see in her eyes the intense look of Jack.

– What's your name? –the girl asked her, cutting her thoughts off.

– Brooke… –she replied, and when she was about to ask the girl about her mother, how old she was, where she lived and other zillion things she wanted to know, a woman's voice irrupted in Jack's office. Brooke felt like if hell froze over. _Jesus Christ,_ _her mother's here!_

– Jackie! How many times do I have to tell you, you can't step inside your dad's office like this? –the woman said desperately, opening the door abruptly. Brooke looked at the woman as if she had seen a ghost. She wasn't very tall, she had blonde hair and beautiful big blue eyes. She was holding in one hand another little blonde girl and in the other a little boy. An elder kid was behind her.

– Sorry, Aunt Claire… –the little girl told the woman, nonchalant.

Claire then noticed Brooke's presence. – Oh! I'm terribly sorry, the nurse told me nobody was here… I'm so sorry to interrupt… –she told Brooke, ashamed. Then Claire noticed Jack wasn't even there, which she found weird.

– Oh, it's okay, I didn't make an appointment, I was just waiting… –Brooke told Claire, making a tremendous effort to sound casual.

Claire extended her hand. – I'm Claire Pace.

_Jack's sister_, Brooke thought as she shook Claire's hand. – Brooke Julian.

Claire went on. – And this little buddy here is my nephew Brett, this missy is my daughter Charlene and this one is Aaron, my son. –Then Claire threw Jackie a disapproving look. – And I think you already know my niece, Jacqueline.

Brooke had her eyes fixated on Jack's son, Brett. He was a beautiful miniature version of his father. Same eyes, same look, same nose, same mouth… _He has a son, too…_ When Brooke was close to articulate an answer, Jack arrived.

– I'm sorry I made you wait, I didn't know you were… –his jaw dropped when he saw Claire and the children there. _Damn it, damn it! She wasn't supposed to find out, not like this_… he thought. – Claire, what are you doing here?

Jackie left the armchair and ran to her father. – Daddy! –Brett reached for his dad too.

– Hey…–he squatted and held his kids in his arms, giving a tender kiss to each one. Then he stood up and gave Claire a questioning look.

– I came to pick my results and your daughter sneaked in, as always.

– I could have picked them for you…

– I didn't want to bother you…

– You never bother me…

– I'm leaving now… are you picking up the kids or Margo is?

– I am. She's not home yet…

– Right, I forgot.

As Brooke watched the scene she felt completely out of place. _Margo must be his wife… _she thought. She couldn't take it anymore. – I'll just come back at some other time, doctor. –she said, looking deeply at Jack.

Before he could say anything, she looked at Claire and said: – Goodbye, nice to meet you all. –Then she rushed out.

On her way to the exit, Brooke ran into Patrick.

– Miss Julian! –he said, giving her a deep hug.

– Hey…

– What are you doing here? You're finally getting that boob job? –he asked her, smirking and giving her a smug look. Then he noticed something was wrong. – Are you okay? You look like you've just seen the devil…

Brooke put herself together and smiled. – Well, I'm just standing in front of him…

– Jack knows you're here? And don't try to pretend, I know about you two.

Brooke looked down. – Yeah, but he's kind of busy right now…

– He always is. Hey, you think you can make some space for me in your agenda? I'm going to fight you for leaving me out of this…

– I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Um… sure, we can have lunch tomorrow if you want…

– Deal.

Then Jack appeared behind Brooke and gripped her shoulders.

– Hey, thanks for entertaining her… –he told Patrick, managing a smile.

– No problem.

– Ready for lunch? –Jack asked Brooke, hesitant.

Brooke just nodded, abashed. – Bye Patrick, I'll see you tomorrow… –she said.

Jack and Brooke walked out of the hospital in total silence. They got to the parking lot and Jack opened the door for her. She got in the car. As Jack drove, he glanced at her once in a while, but had no idea what to say, where to start. He knew she had to be pissed. Brooke was holding her breath, her eyes fixated on the window.

They arrived to the restaurant and got a table. When Jack was about to open his mouth, Brooke cut him off.

– So, Jack, what does Mrs. Shephard think about us going out for a week now? Where is she when her husband is having fun? –she snapped, voice menacing and furious.

Jack's eyes hardened. – Nowhere… she's dead…


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks for your reviews... :)

**Chapter 13**

Brooke's face went pale and she shuddered. She felt horrible for attacking him like that before giving him time to explain first. – Oh my God… I'm so sorry… I had no idea. –she said with difficulty.

Jack's look softened, but his voice was still scathing. – Look… I'm sorry you had to find out this way, I was going to tell you… I just didn't have time… Just know that I've never lied to you and if I were married, I would've never asked you out in the first place, trust me… –he told her flatly, with a set look.

– Of course. –Brooke replied feebly. She wanted to ask him million questions, she wanted to know everything, so she ventured further. – What happened to…

– A car crash. –he snapped.

– When did it…

– Two years ago.

– I'm sorry. –she said looking down. She felt like a stupid.

– Don't be.

Brooke gave him a hesitant look. – Who's Margo?

– My mother, she and Claire help me with the kids…

– Your kids… how old are they?

– Jackie's 8 and Brett's 4. –he answered flatly.

– Your wife… what's her name?

Jack threw her a burning gaze. – Kate, her name was Kate…

After he mentioned her name, Brooke looked at Jack and knew he wasn't saying anything else about her. She wanted to break the tense moment, but didn't know how. Her line of thoughts went short went Jack spoke.

– Listen… I understand if this is too much to deal with and you don't want to see me anymore… –he said scathingly.

– But I do want to see you… –she said unhesitant, and flushed after she heard herself. – I'm sorry, I shouldn't have popped up at your office like that, I just wanted to surprise you… and I didn't know you have children, it was unexpected, that's all… –she told him softly, giving him a longing look.

Then Jack realized he was being very hard on Brooke. After all, he was the one keeping secrets from her, and he felt like shit for making her feel like she was the one to blame. **­**– No, I'm sorry… I should have mentioned it before, I didn't mean to hide my situation to you…

Brooke finally found the moment to end the argument. – Your son's beautiful. He's cuter than you, though… –she said playfully, managing a shy smile.

Jack finally smiled. – Well, that's a relieve… So, you're seeing Patrick tomorrow, huh?

– Yeah, I didn't even call him to let him know I am here, I feel horrible.

– Don't worry, I'm sure he understands…

– You think?

– Absolutely.

They had the rest of their lunch talking placidly. They never went back to talk about Jack's life and Brooke didn't ask any questions about his sister, his mother or children. She didn't want to upset Jack and thought he would tell her everything about his life when he felt like it.

Then Jack drove her back to the hotel. Brooke tried to kiss him again, but Jack didn't let her and turned his head. Brooke flushed and he realized that had been a clumsy move, so he gave her a long hug right away. – Bye Brooke, I'll call you later…

Brooke felt totally shaken. – Yeah… bye Jack…

Brooke walked away from him and Jack left the hotel. _Why am I rejecting her? God, what the hell is wrong with me? First I shock her by telling her about my family and now I'm pushing her away… damn it!_ he thought.

That night Brooke called Ilana as usual and told her everything that just happened.

– He's a widower? God, that's so sad…

– I know… and it was so inconvenient of me to show at the hospital…

– You didn't know… he could have told you before…

– Well, now I know it… you should see his children, they're so beautiful… especially his little boy…

Ilana was furious. Brooke didn't seem to be getting the big picture, but she wouldn't tell her on the phone. She would wait for her to come back to New York. – Okay sweetie, I think you should go to bed now, you could use some sleep…–she told Brooke.

– You're right. It's been enough adrenaline for the day… good night Ilana…

Brooke hung up and prepared to go to bed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Back in his house, Jack had dinner with Margo and the kids. Jack was not a workaholic anymore. He just stayed late at the hospital when it was strictly necessary or when there was an emergency. Nowadays, his only priority was to bring up his children well. Now he was a daddy-holic.

Margo had moved in after Kate passed, refusing vehemently to stay home as Jack ordered her. Her so called home was just a place full of ghosts for her, she was lonely and knew Jack was too, so she told him no one could take better care of the kids than her own grandmother. Jack finally accepted, knowing Margo was right. With time Jack learnt to like his mother around and the kids were doing fine, in spite of having lost their mother so early.

Claire was also a huge support to Jack. She and Margo got along, unbelievable as it was. Margo learnt to love Claire just because she was Christian's daughter. Every time she looked in Claire's blue eyes she could see Christian and feel he was still a part of her life. Besides, after she knew Jack was alive and found out everything that happened on the island, she swore to God she would always be grateful to have his son back and would live to make him happy. That included accepting Claire. Therefore, Claire's children thought of Margo as their granny as well, and even Charlie got along with her.

All the kids went to the same school and Jack drove them every morning before going to work, then Claire picked them up after school. They all had lunch without Jack, but then he came over to Claire's and picked up his children to go home a little after 5:00 pm, unless he had to stay late at the hospital and Margo had to do that for him. On weekends they would think of something to do altogether.

Every morning Jack woke up and prepared Jackie and Brett for school, now with Margo's help. They had breakfast and then Jack picked up Aaron and Charlene just three doors from his, and drove them all to school.

At evenings, after he came back from the hospital, he would ask Jackie and Brett about their day at school and what they'd learnt. He checked on their homework and signed whatever there was to sign. He even attended almost every parents' meeting at the school, though he hated it, because there were always some divorced or single moms that would throw themselves at him for any excuse. He found that pathetic. In fact, he never thought of finding any other woman again.

Jack, Margo and the kids had dinner everyday at 7:00 pm. Then they would talk, play or watch some TV. After that he got the kids ready for bed, making sure they brushed their teeth first. Jackie always asked her dad to tell her a bedtime story and Brett always joined them. Jack picked one of the hundred storybooks he'd bought for them and read until they got asleep. Then he carried a sleepy Brett to his bed.

That routine hadn't changed that much after Kate died. The only difference, besides Margo living there, was that Jack had this sorrow in his eyes that never left him. Jackie was the spitting image of her mother and every time he looked at her, he remembered Kate's hair, her eyes, her mouth… Jackie even had the exact same freckles on her nose.

Another difference was that Jack now slept alone. Going to his room at night was the hardest part of his day, 'cause there he didn't have any distraction or noise to avoid his thoughts of Kate. He had been trying to cry her death for two years now, but he just couldn't. All he could feel when he thought of Kate was wrath. His children were what kept him going.

But now he had met Brooke, and during that week he had been in a very cheery mood. For his surprise, now when he went to his room after putting his kids in bed, he thought of Kate for just a second. Then it passed him by and he thought of Brooke instead and the stories she had told him. He found himself smiling after that. But he hadn't neglected Jackie and Brett for a second. That's why he only met Brooke at lunch time or after the kids went to bed. He would tell Margo he had to go to the hospital and then leave for two or three hours.

That night, once he had some time for himself, he was in his studio thinking of Brooke. He missed her and decided to call her.

At Brooke's room, the phone rang…

– Hello?

– Hey… it's me…

Brooke smiled and felt an enormous relieve when she heard Jack's voice. – Hey… how are you?

– Fine… I was just… thinking about you and… I guess I just wanted to hear your voice… –he told her, softly.

Brooke's eyes glinted when she heard that. – It's funny, you know? I've been thinking about you too. –she affirmed.

– What you're wearing?

– My PJs… I was already in bed…

When he pictured Brooke wearing nothing but her pajamas, he couldn't help but think about the kiss they shared a day ago. All of the sudden he found himself thinking of her body, her skin, her beautiful heart-shaped mouth. He wanted her. – Is it that late? –he finally replied.

– A little… but I'm glad you called… –Brooke told him with a sleepy voice.

– I didn't mean to wake you up. I just wanted to apologize, you know.

– For what?

– Well, for not telling you earlier about my children, to begin with. And for being a jerk at lunch…

– It's okay… I was inopportune too…

– You're not… Anyway, tell Patrick to behave tomorrow, okay?

– Okay…

– Now get back to sleep… Good night…

– Good night…

After that they hung up. That night, both Jack and Brooke went to sleep with a sweet smile on their faces.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The next day Brooke met Patrick for lunch. They were catching up for all those years they lost touch. Patrick told her about Marion and other stuff. Brooke told him about her family and work, among other things, like her former relationship and her awful breakup. Patrick listened to her carefully, then he went right to business.

– So now you're dating Jack, huh?

Brooke flushed and smiled impishly. – I guess you can say that.

– And why were you so shaky at the hospital yesterday?

– Oh… I just found out he's a daddy…

– You didn't know? –Patrick asked in disbelief.

– No… I mean, it's been a week and I've been busy, it's not like we've had a lot of time to talk… –she justified.

Patrick gave her a concerned look. – Did he tell you what happened with Kate?

­– You mean about the car crash? Yeah… he mentioned it.

Patrick stared at her and knew she had no idea of the _full_ story. – So, what are your plans?

– What you mean?

– With Jack, you know. Where's this going?

– You sound like Ilana. I mean, it's only been a week, for God's sake! You want me to marry him already or what? We're just getting to know each other…

– Right… and how will you get to know him if you know anything about him? –Patrick shot back, determined.

– I know things about him. I know about his family, about his loss…

– Well, sure you know that, but about _him_, you know, as a person… he hasn't had an easy life, I think you might want to know about it…

– Oh, you mean because of the plane crash?

Patrick gave her a long look. – Well, for starters…

– I know everything about that. I was a fan, remember? –she said, smiling.

– I do remember. But let me remind you, all you know about that is the crap that came out in the media. That has nothing to do with who Jack is, Brooke…

Brooke started to feel uneasy with Patrick's words. – What you mean? –she asked him, concern in her voice.

– Well, you know, he might have… issues, that's all.

– We all have issues, don't you think? –she shot back, defensive.

Patrick, knowing Brooke as he did, realized she wasn't comfortable with being told how to handle things with Jack, so he dropped it. – All I'm saying is you should define what it is you both want. And I think being honest is a good start. –he said, looking sweetly at her.

– Okay, then.

– Oh, I almost forget. There's a birthday party tonight, of one friend from the hospital. I would like you to come, you get to meet Marion and Jack's also invited… –he told her with a wry smile.

– Sounds like fun.

– I'll pick you up at 9:00, okay?

– Deal.

Back in the hospital, Jack was at his office. An annoyed Marion walked in. Marion had recently arrived at St. Sebastian as an intern and she had immediately clicked with Patrick. Marion was bossy and possessive, especially because she knew what kind of reputation Patrick had. Even though Patrick insisted they were not serious, Marion proved the opposite all the time.

– Why is Patrick taking another girl to Varya's besides me? –she snapped at Jack, catching him totally off guard.

– What?

– Don't play naïve, Jack. He's told me everything.

Patrick liked Marion. She was an excellent doctor and she wanted to become a spinal surgeon as well. When she started dating Patrick, Jack warned both about the issues that could come with that. He knew Marion was spoiled, but he still cared for her, and she looked up for him as a big brother.

– I have no idea what you're talking about. –he told her.

– This chick, Brooke. Patrick told me he's trying to set you up. And now he has to pick her up tonight.

Then Jack remembered he planned this with Patrick the week before. – Brooke, right, yeah, he'll do that for me, hope you don't mind.

– Whatever… Now you have to drive me to the party and we'll all meet there.

– No problem… –he told her.

– I better like her, you know? She better not be trashy…

– You'll like her, I promise…

– Fine.

During that week, all the family had noticed Jack was happy, especially Margo and Claire. Margo never bought his excuses for going to the hospital after the kids were asleep, but she hadn't questioned him. She was giving her son some room.

Later that day, Jack got home and went on with his routine. Once Jackie and Brett were asleep, he started getting ready to go get Marion and then go to Varya's party. He was excited and couldn't wait to meet Brooke again. He wanted to see her, talk to her, laugh with her… Margo interrupted his thoughts when she walked into his room…

– Someone's looking very handsome lately. –she told his son, smiling.

– Hey mom…

– So, what's the occasion?

– Oh, there's this birthday party, Varya's. You remember her? I think I've told you about her before…

– Yes, she's Patrick's girlfriend, isn't she?

– That's Marion. Varya is Derek's girlfriend, the oncologist, remember?

– True. And who's going with you?

Jack tensed up a little. – Nobody… why?

– Nobody, huh? And is _nobody_ the reason you're so happy lately?

– What are you talking about? –he replied, pretending.

– Well, you have been so cheerful… You are my son, Jack, and that look in your eyes is the same you've had since you were a boy, when you are excited about a woman. I think you are seeing someone.

– If I were seeing someone I would tell you. –he said flatly.

– Would you? –Margo asked with a set look.

Jack noticed Margo had something in her mind and looked frontally at her. – What's this all about mom? I'm not sixteen anymore, you know?

– Of course you're not… –Jack was still looking at her in the eye, so Margo went on.

– Your sister told me about this woman in your office yesterday…

Jack paled a little. He had forgotten about that incident. – She was just a patient who didn't make an appointment. –he lied.

– A patient, huh? Sarah was a patient…

Jack tensed up even more. – What does Sarah have to do with this?

– Claire told me you left the hospital with this patient…

– I just walked her to the exit mom. Jesus! You and Claire are totally making a big deal about it.

Margo knew Jack was lying. Claire told her how she saw Brooke talking to Patrick and then Jack gripping her shoulders and walking with her out of the hospital. Claire ran to the window to see them getting in Jack's car and leave.

Jack sensed Margo was about to say something and realized being defensive wasn't working, so he changed his tone.

– Don't worry, mom. When I see someone, you'll know it, trust me. –Then he approached Margo and kissed her forehead. – I've got to go…

– Okay, have fun honey.

Jack left and Margo couldn't help but feel worried. She replayed in her head Jack's words. _When I see someone, you'll know it, trust me_. That was exactly the problem. She knew, and she just couldn't understand why he wasn't telling her.


	16. Chapter 16

Please please please please review!:P**  
**

**Chapter 16**

At 9:00 pm that Friday, Patrick picked Brooke up at the hotel. She looked amazing as always, but that wasn't new for Patrick.

– Well, look at you…

– Hi Patty! You like my outfit?

– I sure do, let's go…

– Where's your girlfriend?

– Oh, I'll meet here there.

– You're driving me but not her? That's rude, honey. Now she's going to hate me…

– It's not what it looks like.

– Then what it is? –Brooke asked with a concerned look.

– Well, actually it's a long story…

– I have time…

– Damn it Brookie, you just won't let it be, right?

– Right.

– Jack's driving her.

Brooke's eyes opened widely in disbelief. – Jack? Why?

– Because we planned this before you two got _way_ along.

– You're kidding me…

­– I'm not. The thing is I didn't know how it would be going between you and I thought, you know, just in case, of getting you together at the party.

– Ain't you sweet?

– You bet.

Varya's house had an amazing pool area, where the party was being held. Jack was feeling nervous. Not because he was about to see Brooke, but because Marion had told the whole world about "this chick" that was coming to the party for him "to hit on". Derek was already picking on Jack about it, as well as Varya and other coworkers that were there. Jack didn't find it amusing at all. Everybody was making a big deal about it, which was exactly what he didn't want.

After the plane crash Jack hadn't kept in touch with other survivors, because he didn't want anything to remind him of that nightmare around. He just remained with those who were now a part of his life: Kate, who became his wife and mothered his first child almost immediately; Claire, his sister, and therefore Charlie, who became his brother-in-law. But one who could never move away from him was Hurley, who openly admitted he needed Jack around to be safe from his bad luck and even considered him a father figure.

Hurley knew all Jack's friends and coworkers, so he was invited to the party as well.

– Dude, you're horrible. –he told Jack whilst eating a canapé.

Jack rolled his eyes. – Now what?

– How could you not tell me the whole chick thing?

– There's nothing to tell.

– How can you say that? It's huge! You've been alone for two years, dude.

– I'm still alone, Hurley.

– But now you've got a date. Come on, cheer up!

Jack giggled and rubbed his forehead. – This is awful, you people behave like teenagers, really.

– Is she hot? I bet she's hot. You always get the hot chicks in the end.

– Yes Hurley, she is. –Jack admitted with a smile.

Hurley was about to say another thing when he saw Brooke coming in with Patrick. – Dude… –he said, completely amazed.

– What? –Jack replied turning around to see what Hurley was looking at. It was Brooke.

The minute she walked in, everybody knew _that_ was Jack's chick and gave him impish looks. All the women went uneasy feeling threatened by Brooke's presence, while men couldn't keep their eyes off of her. Marion and Varya exchanged glances, thinking that Brooke was actually hot, but she still had to jump the shotgun, meaning them.

Patrick introduced Brooke to the rest of the guests, whilst Varya and Marion approached Jack and Hurley.

– So, that's her, huh? –Marion told Jack with a wry smile.

– That's her. –he said, looking away.

– At least she's not trashy…

– Oh come on Marion! You know she's gorgeous. –Varya corrected.

– Whose side you are? –Marion snapped at her with a disapproving look.

– Jack's, of course!

– Thank you very much, Varya.

They were interrupted by Patrick, who arrived to the group with Brooke.

– …and here we have Varya Richardson, birthday girl, wonderful oncologist and Derek's girlfriend as well. This is Hurley, beloved friend of ours, and last but not least, Marion Gibb, prestigious intern, spinal surgeon-to-be and Chief of Surgery's pet, I must say.

– Patrick, come on… –Jack told him embarrassed, forcing a smile.

– And I think you've met Jack. Everybody, this is my beautiful friend Brooke Julian.

Brooke shook hands with all of them and then told Varya: – Happy birthday, thanks for having me. –as she gave her a gift, exquisitely wrapped.

– Oh my God! You shouldn't have! –Varya told Brooke, smiling and impressed as well.

Then Marion stepped in front of Brooke and said: – I'm Patrick's girlfriend, nice to meet you.

­– Nice to meet you too, he's told me a lot about you.

Jack was watching the scene with a nervous smile on his face. He knew Varya and Marion were a tough audience and he didn't want them to pick on Brooke. Besides, he wanted to get the hell out of the group to finally have a moment with her alone.

– Has he? –Marion answered Brooke with particular interest. – Well, how about we go inside to open the present you gave Varya and get to know you better? You can also tell me what Patrick says about me. –Marion told Brooke with an evil smile.

Brooke knew she was dealing with bitchy and jealous friends of Jack. She knew that song well. She behaved the same way at college when Patrick introduced a new girlfriend. She found that amusing and wasn't impressed. ­­­– Of course, I'd love to. ­–she replied and went inside with the girls after giving Jack a complicity look. He just smiled at her.

When the girls were gone, Derek, Patrick and Hurley started giving Jack a hard time.

– Don't worry, she'll live. –Patrick told Jack referring to the girls, who had just kidnapped Brooke.

– Dude, that chick's beyond hot! She's the hottest girl you've ever had! –Hurley said excited.

– He might be slow, but finally! –Derek said, referring to Jack.

– And you didn't believe she was a model. –Patrick said proud.

– Really man, this time you just made me shut the fuck up. –Derek told Jack.

Jack was done with the comments. – You know what? I'm really not in the mood for your high school bullshit guys, so just drop it.

– Oh come on Jack, don't be a party pooper! –Patrick told him, a bit annoyed.

– I just want you to stop, it's not funny to be talking about a lady in that way. – Jack said, serious.

– Dude, don't be mad, it's okay, we're just happy for you, aren't we, guys?

Jack thought about it for a second and then nodded. – Okay, but let's behave like adults, for God's sake.

They went on talking about other things. Jack got into the conversation and was having a good laugh, but then he noticed the girls were still inside with Brooke, after about half an hour. He felt annoyed. After all, Brooke was the main reason he was there, and he missed her. He was about to go inside the house to look for her when all the girls appeared, laughing and having a great time.

– You guys are not going to believe what Brooke just gave me! –Varya said totally excited.

– How come you never mentioned she's the fashion editor of The New York Days? I loved her Pulitzer piece! She made me hate models less. –Marion affirmed looking at Patrick.

– She gave me a Fendi bag! –Varya told them high pitched.

As they were all chit-chatting nonsense, Brooke and Jack could only look at each others eyes. Patrick noticed it and said: – Okay Derek, Varya, please come with me, we need some host presence here. Marion… –They all got it and left Brooke and Jack alone, though Hurley remained there.

– Dude, you really won a Pulitzer? –Hurley asked in disbelief. Jack was also impressed with that.

– Yeah… it's not a big deal, really. –Brooke replied as she flushed.

– You're serious? –Jack told her. – Don't be so modest. –Then he noticed Hurley was not planning to leave, so he made him. – Um, Hurley, you think you can get us something to drink, please?

– Oh, I'll just call the waiter… –Jack gave Hurley a set look and he got the message. – Or I'll just… go to the bar… see you dudes.

At last, Jack and Brooke were alone…


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

– A Fendi bag? Ain't that kind of expensive? –Jack told Brooke with a smirk.

– You can keep a secret? –she asked back.

– Sure.

– I get those for free at runways. –she said to his ear, which made him shiver.

– How about that? –he said, smiling. – So, a Pulitzer huh? You never mentioned that.

– Oh, I just hate to show off. I'm proud of it, of course, but I never go around saying "Hey, I'm Brooke and I have a Pulitzer". –she said faking a voice.

Jack threw a short laugh. – Okay, then. So, how did my dear friends treat you?

– Fine, they're great. Varya's really cool and Marion's just hysterical, totally Patrick's type.

– Really? I thought his type was… another. –he said, suspiciously.

– What you mean? –she asked, intrigued.

Jack looked at her deeply, hesitating, thinking if he should go on or not. – I think he's more into you.

Brooke burst into laughter after she heard that. – What are you talking about? You think we went out or something?

He gave her another hesitant look. – I don't know, did you?

– No way! Why would you think that?

– Well, there's something about boys and girls living together at college that just doesn't make sense to me… –he said wryly.

– It breaks my heart Jack, but this time you're very, very wrong. Nothing ever happened between us, I never even thought of the possibility.

– Why? –he asked her, not really understanding what he had already learnt from Patrick himself. – I mean, he's good looking, talented, you get along…

– Because we knew from day one we were not good for each other, in couple terms. He would've broken my heart, I would've hated him for it and we wouldn't be like brother and sister today. We wanted totally different things and we were mature enough to realize it since the first time we talked. –she explained, naturally.

– And what's that? What you want? –he asked, serious.

Brooke felt overwhelmed by such question, not only for what it meant itself, but because she could sense where the conversation was going. – I just want someone to love, someone who loves me back, who's willing to share everything with me. –she said, her gaze lost in the horizon.

Jack looked down. That was the exact thing he had always wanted. He thought she had it with Kate, but time proved him wrong. But he didn't want to remember it. – You've ever… been in love? –he asked.

– We're opening the "Ex-Files", huh? –Brooke retorted, a little tense.

Jack smiled. – I just asked you a simple question.

– Right… Well, yeah, sure I've been in love before… –she said, nostalgic.

– What happened? –he asked, really interested.

Brooke thought for a moment. – Wow… that's a huge question. Well, his name was Ryan. He worked at my dad's firm. It was great at the beginning but he had issues, so he was always looking for more. He cheated on me once and then regretted it, so I took him back. Then he started talking about marriage… –Brooke looked down. – Anyway, he proposed and I accepted, but then he started acting like a jerk. We started fighting about everything. I just couldn't get it. –she took a deep breath. ­– Then Mr. Pulitzer arrived and with it, my promotion, but instead of being happy for me, he got jealous. So, one day it was his birthday and he told me he had this diligence to attend in Seattle with one of his colleagues. I let him go, but I never bought it. I called his colleague and found out it was all a lie. He was… at the Hamptons screwing another girl. I guess I wasn't enough.

Jack ran out of words. He had always thought cheaters deserved to be killed. He knew what it felt like, so after he listened to Brooke he felt almost furious at the bastard who did that to her. – What did you do?

– Um… I shouted myself hoarse telling him to fuck off and never saw him again.

– Just like that?

– Well, not just like that. It took me 4 years to get rid of that dysfunctional relationship. That last time he screw it I was just so sick of him, I didn't even feel sad. I felt furious. It was a long time coming, I guess…

Jack couldn't believe someone would let Brooke go like that. She was perfect. – Well, Ryan is an ass, if you ask me. Every single man on Earth would be lucky to have you, Brooke. –he told her, looking intensely in her eyes.

– You think?

– I'm positive.

Jack was about to kiss her when Hurley cleared his throat behind them. – Um, dudes? It's birthday cake time, Marion told me to come get you. –Jack and Brooke felt frustrated, but they joined the group to sing Varya "Happy Birthday".

As the party went on, Brooke and Jack never got another moment alone. They were chatting with all the gang, having a good time and laughing.

At some point, Brooke was alone with Hurley.

– Dude, it's awesome that you and Jack are together. ­–he told her.

– Um… I wouldn't say that yet… –she said, hesitant.

– Why, you don't like him? He's the man, really.

Brooke laughed. – It's not that, but we're just dating now. I live in New York and… well, we need to work things out, you know?

– Oh, right, because of the Kate stuff and everything…

Brooke gave Hurley a questioning look. – What stuff?

Hurley looked back at her and knew his mouth had run out too much, as usual. – The… stuff… You know what? I need to pee, see you dude! –With that, Hurley ran away from her.

The party was finally over. Brooke said goodbye to all the gang. Marion and Varya made her promise they would get together as soon as possible to go shopping and talking about girl stuff. They really liked her, not only because she was nice, but because they cared a lot about Jack and were really happy he had finally put his eyes on someone after all he had been through. It was even better because she was someone worthy.

Jack drove Brooke back to the hotel. They were in a comfortable silence, until Jack broke it.

– So, you were about to get married…

– Not really. The truth is he only gave me a ring and "booked" me, if you know what I mean. But I don't think he ever meant to marry me.

– Do you ever think how things would've been if you had married him?

– Of course. It would've been hell. I'd be crying to this day. That girl he cheated on me with, God blesses her. She really saved my life. Marriage would've been a huge mistake.

– You don't believe in marriage, then?

– It's not that. I just think people get married for the wrong reasons, most of the times.

– What you mean?

– Well, you know, it's like if they were in this life race: you have to go to school, then you have to work and then you have to get married and later you must have kids. But the truth is people never take a minute to think what they _really_ want. So, then you have all these dysfunctional families or kids with divorced parents. Or those couples who remain together, feeling extremely miserable. I don't want to be like that.

Jack glanced at her with a questioning look. Brooke went on. – If I ever get married, I want to be sure about me and the man I marry. He must be my favorite person in the world, you know? A man that will make my worst day brighter just by looking at me. I don't know if that kind of love even exists, but I like to think so. –she said smiling with a longing look.

Then they arrived to the hotel. They kissed passionately and he felt for a second he could be with her forever.

– Good night handsome, I had a great night. –she told him, only inches away from his lips.

– Me too. Night babe, sweet dreams and don't work too much, okay? –he answered. Brooke replied with a smile and got off the car.

As she walked away, Jack felt his belly somersault. Brooke was totally driven and knew what she wanted in life and love, but him? He realized he was letting himself go without thinking about it, maybe for the first time in his life. That scared him. He felt confused.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

With Monday, Fashion Week arrived. Brooke woke up early when the Room Service delivered her a gift from Jack. He sent her a box of her favorite chocolates whit a card that read: _"Hope these last the whole week. Jack."_ She felt completely happy.

Meanwhile, Jack arrived to St. Sebastian after leaving the kids at school. As he walked to his office everybody stared and smiled at him impishly. He soon noticed he was the headline at the coffee machine and the water cooler. He could hear the comments on "this hot chick Jack was seeing" and feel the excitement everybody seem to have about it.

That really got to his nerves. The last straw came when he went to the cafeteria to get his usual latte and found Derek, Patrick, Varya and Marion in there.

– Jack! –Marion said as she gave him a hug.

– Looking good, huh? –Varya added.

– What's going on? –he asked, annoyed.

– Nothing, we were just talking about you. –Patrick affirmed.

– Really? Why? –he said flatly.

They all looked at each other and then Marion explained. – Well, you know, we were just saying how perfect Brooke and you are together, and we're thinking about going on a trip, the six of us, to some nice place and…

Jack thought this was going too far. – Okay, I've had enough. –he snapped.

The rest of them looked at each other and then at him, shocked. Jack went on, anger in his voice. ­­– I think it's _awesome _you're having such a _great _time with all this "let's fix Jack's life" thing, but you know what? I'm sick of it. I'm not in high school anymore, and neither are you. Brooke and I _are not_ together, in fact, I barely know her. She doesn't even live in the city! So, just stop pushing me and stop making a circus about it, okay?

Patrick gave him a set look. – Fine. –he replied. Then they all walked away from him.

Back in his office, Jack thought of the outburst he just had and felt bad. After all, he knew his friends cared about him and wanted to see him happy. But it was too soon to assume things were back on track in his life so easily. The truth was he had no idea what was going on inside him.

Jack got home early. He just couldn't take anymore the atmosphere at the hospital. He was way welcomed by the kids, who would have more time to be with him. While Jackie and Brett were doing their homework, he sat at his studio, trying to put his ideas together. His daughter entered the room.

Jacqueline Christina Shephard was born on April 8, 8 years ago. Kate chose to name her after her father and grandfather, in spite Jack's refuse. Physically she was exactly as her mother, but she had a mix of both Jack's and Kate's characters. She was smarter than the rest of the kids her age and with Kate's death, she had no choice but to grow older before her time. She loved her father like anything in this world and in her little mind she thought she must help him find happiness again. Since Jack had met Brooke, Jackie noticed how he smiled for the first time since her mommy was gone and his eyes were brighter. She loved when her daddy smiled.

– Hi daddy! –she told Jack whilst jumping on his desk and sitting in front of him.

– Hey princess, how you're doing? ­­

– Great, I beat Aaron at PlayStation.

– Really? I guess you've done your homework, then.

– I had no homework today, daddy.

– How come?

– My teacher felt sick and left early.

– Well, lucky you. –Jack told her daughter as he touched softly her wavy hair. Then Jackie looked deeply at his father's eyes.

– Daddy, do you have a girlfriend? –she openly asked.

Jack felt his throat constrict. – No, I don't, why you ask me that?

Jackie smiled mischievously. – I heard Uncle Hurley telling Uncle Charlie.

Jack tried not to lose his temper at that revelation. – What have I told you about adult conversations? –he told Jackie with a warning voice.

– I wasn't listening daddy, I swear. They were talking in front of us.

– Us? Who, us?

– My cousins, Brett and me.

Jack just couldn't believe it. Sometimes he thought Hurley and Charlie needed to be looked after even more than the children. – I'm sure you misunderstood honey. Don't worry, I don't have any girlfriend.

– But I'm not worried daddy! I think you should get one.

That comment amused Jack. – Why?

– Because then you would be happy all the time. – Jackie replied, as if she had all figured out.

– Well, it's not that simple, honey. Relationships between adults are sometimes… complicated.

– But she's nice, mommy told me.

Jack looked at his daughter with concern. It wasn't the first time Jackie said Kate spoke to her and told her things after she passed. The therapist had told Jack that was a normal defense mechanism that children developed after losing a parent. – Who's nice, baby?

– The girl you like.

Jack's worry grew more. – What girl?

– The one with high heels, at your office.

Jack went mute. He had totally forgotten Jackie had met Brooke that day. Obviously Jackie suspected she was not only a patient, he thought. – She was just one of my patients, honey.

– But you like her. Mommy told me and said she's fine.

Jack smiled at his daughter tenderly. – No honey, she's not my girlfriend, I promise. You don't have to worry about that, okay? If I ever get a girlfriend, you must know that she… _nobody_ will ever be most important to me than you and your brother, okay?

– I know daddy. But we can still like her, can we?

– Of course, and she has to like you back.

– Okay then, daddy. –Jackie got down the desk. – Now I've got to go play with Charlene, I promised her.

Jack laughed shortly. – Okay.

Before Jackie walked out the studio, she looked back at her dad. – Daddy, can I ask you a favor?

– Of course sweetie, what you need?

– Can your girlfriend be as pretty as your patient with high heels?

Jack couldn't help but laugh. – Okay, I'll try.

– Cool, bye daddy!

After Jackie left the room, Jack went pale. That conversation with his daughter made him realize all the issues that might come with a new woman in his life. What if she didn't get along with his family? What if Brooke wasn't a "kid person"? Then the worst fear crossed his mind: what if their kids learnt to love her and then she left him, breaking everybody's heart? Then it hit him. He couldn't afford to take such a risk. He would be fine if things didn't work out, he knew that. But there was no way he could expose his children to the pain of losing someone again.


	19. Chapter 19

3 new chapters, please review!

Foxy4ever, thanks for your reviews, keep telling me what you think please ;)**  
**

**Chapter 19**

It was Wednesday already. Brooke barely had time to breathe during those days. She left her room early in the morning and returned late at night, and she still had to work on reviews and articles for the newspaper. She was going back to New York on Sunday. As she was getting ready to go to bed, she realized she hadn't spoken to Jack since Monday night, when she called him to thank him for the chocolates. She knew she had been busy and that he knew it, but she still felt uneasy. She was leaving soon and she didn't know what was going to happen with their still uncertain relationship. She needed to call him, to see him, she missed him.

Jack's cell phone rang. – Hello?

– Hey, it's me.

Jack was happy to hear her. But he had already made up his mind. – Hey, how you're doing?

– Fine, but I'm so tired… anyway, one more day left and I'll be done… –she said.

– That's great, I'm glad for you.

Brooke noticed he was being cold. – I've missed you… –she told him sweetly, but Jack remained silent.  
– So, how about you, how was your week? –she said, breaking the awkward moment.

– The same, nothing new really. –he replied, flatly.

– Right. So, you think we can meet before I go back to New York?

Jack felt crushed by the idea of her leaving. – Um… sure, I just have to check my schedule.

– Of course. So, let me know, okay?

– Okay.

Brooke felt blue. She expected Jack to be warm and caring as he always was_. He sure had a tough day_, she justified. ­– Okay, bye Jack. –with that she hung up.

The rest of the week went by. Brooke spent it feeling blue. She didn't know what was going on, but she felt something was wrong. Jack hadn't called her even once and he didn't even reply the only message she had sent to his cell phone. Was that it between them? Was it just a nice company they shared? She didn't want that. Now she knew for sure she was in love with him. She knew it was soon to tell him and she didn't want to freak him out. But he needed to know she really liked him and wanted to keep in touch with him, to make things work between them.

On Saturday night, her phone rang. It was Jack.

– Hi handsome! –she said cheerfully.

– Hey… I'm sorry I didn't call before, I've been busy. I'm at the lobby, you have some time?

– You mean right now? But I'm a mess! –she told him, nervous.

– I'm sure you look great as always. I'm not very tidy either. I was planning on having something quick for dinner, like pizza or something?

– Sure, just give me five minutes okay?

– I'll be down here.

She just put on her shoes and quickly grabbed her purse. She knew it was probably the last chance she had to see him before going home. Her heartbeat sped up as the elevator went down. He was waiting there, wearing jeans, a polo T-shirt and a leather jacket, looking fabulous as always.

Jack's look glinted. He couldn't help to feel totally drawn to her. When she was finally standing in front of him, he ventured further and held her tight in his arms. _One last hug…_ he thought. Brooke responded to his embrace and soon Jack couldn't stifle his urge. He kissed her passionately, as if he hadn't seen her in centuries.

– Hey. ­­–she said softly to his lips.

­– Hey… –he replied, still holding her.

Brooke looked deeply at him. – What's up? Is everything alright?

– Yeah. –he said looking down, giving her a short smile. – You ready?

– Yeah. –she answered.

They got in Jack's car and just went to a cafe near the hotel. As usual, Jack asked everything about her week, but this time Brooke wasn't the vivid chatter she always was. She barely ate, and so did Jack. Something was definitely wrong, she knew it. She remembered Ilana's words: _Be a big girl and just ask him._ But ask him what, exactly?

Jack also couldn't find the words to tell her he wouldn't continue with that, whatever it was. He felt his emotions constrict in his chest. Why was it so difficult? It wasn't like he was breaking up with her after years. He'd just met her for a week. Yet it hurt, and feeling that scared him even more.

They continued talking about insignificant things and it got late. The tension grew more and more. Neither of them dared to drag the situation out. They left the cafe and Jack drove her back to the hotel. When they got to the motor lobby, he pulled over before they reached the main entrance. He breathed deeply.

– So, here we are. –she said nervous.

Jack looked down and then spoke. – Brooke… I need to tell you something.

Brooke's eyes opened widely, knowing he was finally getting into subject. – Okay.

– I think we need to… slow down. ­–he said, raising his eyes to meet hers.

Brooke looked at him doubtful. – Slow _what_ down?

– This. Listen… –he hesitated. – I don't want you to get this wrong. I like you Brooke, I really do, but the thing is… –he threw a wry short laugh. – I don't know what I'm doing. I've been through a lot and… I don't want to hurt you. You deserve to be with someone who's absolutely sure about his feelings for you and who's there for you 24-7. And I… I just don't know if I can be that person. I'd like to… think things over…

Brooke felt a collision inside, but she kept cool. – I really appreciate your honesty, Jack. Just one thing… what do you need to think over?

Jack went mute for a moment. – I need to think… if I'm ready to get involved with someone again. –he replied, frankly.

– I understand. –Brooke said, looking down. She wanted to tell him million things, she wanted to convince him of giving it a shot, but she didn't. She had promised herself never to beg a man for love or attention, even if he was Jack. – Goodbye Jack, take care, okay?

When she finished saying that, she gave him an abashed look. Then she placed her hand on his cheek and gave him a short, soft kiss on the lips. After that, she got off the car and left.

The minute Jack saw her walking away, he felt he was making a big mistake. He was denying himself the chance to be happy again.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Brooke couldn't sleep that night. She kept replaying in her head all the words Jack had said. She felt so sad… Exhaustion finally made her sleep. The next morning she left her room, checked-out and went to the airport.

During the flight, she started to feel mad at herself. _Why did I even get interested in him? We live in different cities, he's way older than me, why on Earth did I think this could work? It's ridiculous… _

She repeated in her mind million reasons to forget about it and pretend nothing ever happened. In fact, she thought, nothing ever happened at all. They only shared some meals, that was all. No matter how much she tried to put herself together, she soon found herself crying. _Fuck, Brooke! Since when you're such an asshole? _

When she got to New York, she quickly grabbed a cab and went home. She lived in a lovely condo at Manhattan, which had an amazing view of the city. It was cozy and decorated with excellent taste. All the walls and furniture were white, and it had wooden floors covered with beautiful rugs. On the walls she had paintings and photos of her with family and friends, as well as some pics taken during her model years. Brooke loved photos. Her life was reflected on the walls of her apartment.

She scattered her luggage in her room and went right to the bathroom. She got into the tub and tried to relax, but it didn't work. Her mind was fixated on the image of Jack, his smile, his eyes, his perfectly built body, his kisses… Brooke was going insane when a yelling Ilana came in.

– Where the fuck have you been?!

– Hi sweetie, it's good to see you too… –Brooke replied, reluctantly.

– You were supposed to call me when you landed to go find you at the airport!

– Really? I'm sorry, I forgot.

– I've left zillion messages on your cell phone, I was worried Brooke!

– I'm really sorry…

– Alright, just get out the damn tub. –Ilana left the bathroom and Brooke did what she was told. She put on her robe and went to her bedroom. Ilana was waiting.

– So, how did it go? –she asked Brooke.

– As usual, I have tons of paper work for tomorrow, but I'm almost done.

– I'm not asking about work…

– Then what you're asking about?

– Um… your high school sweetie.

– Well, I haven't seen him like in 10 years… –Brooke replied, trying to be amusing, but her joke just fell flat.

Ilana knew Brooke perfectly and knew she was upset. – Come on Brookie, talk to me.

Brooke gave her friend a long look. – We broke up. –then Brooke thought for a second and smiled wryly. – Wait. I guess that's not fair to say, since we were not even a couple! –she corrected, sarcastically.

They both sat on the bed and Brooke started to tell her with meticulous details the last two weeks, in Jack terms. Ilana listened patiently to every single word, though she'd already heard half of it.

Brooke went on. – Then yesterday he tells me I deserve someone who's always there for me and since he doesn't want to hurt me, he needs to "think things over", because he's not sure if he can be "that person". –Ilana was looking at her, concerned. – And that's it… So, what you think? –Brooke asked, finally ending her narration.

Ilana thought for a minute. – I think it speaks a lot of his character…

– Well, yeah! It says he's an asshole and a pussy, he panicked after just two weeks! It's not like I was asking him to marry me or to give me his fucking sperm!

– Okay, that's enough, I'm done with you. –Ilana snapped abruptly. Brooke stared at her friend with huge disbelief in her eyes. Ilana went on, nonstop.

– I can't believe how shallow you're being, Brooke!

– I _am not_ shallow! –Brooke replied, anger in her voice.

– Then stop acting like that! – lana replied, desperate. Brooke shut up, giving Ilana a questioning look. – Jesus, Brooke! We're talking here about a man who lost his wife just 24 months ago! Hasn't it occurred to you that he loved her? That he might actually miss her? We're talking about the woman who mothered his children, for God's sake! And you just want him to throw himself at your arms because you are Brooke fucking-lovely Julian!

Brooke's eyes were wide open, shocked. – I'm not… I don't want him to throw himself at my arms…

– Yes you do! You call him an asshole and a pussy because he's being responsible for both of you!

– What you mean?

– I mean he's being mature enough to see all the consequences that could come with a new relationship in his life. He's a father, which means he has to take care of his kids too. Haven't you thought what it means to lose the person you love, Brooke? Well, multiply that by two, because he also carries the suffering of these kids, who lost their mom as well. And that's not all, he's taking care of you too!

– Oh really? Why?

– Because, let's get real hon, another man would've just nailed you without giving a shit. You were wide open. You wanted him and there was a hotel room available. He could have just a one night stand, but instead he cared for your feelings, because he knows you deserve better, and he respected you. That means he cares, Brooke. And, if you ask me, you're the one who should think things over…

– Think what? –Brooke asked, confused.

Ilana took a deep breath, trying to calm down. – Look, since the night you told me he has children, I wanted to tell you, but I had to do it in person. Let's say you work things over and you manage to have a long distance relationship, which I believe you can…

– So?

– What will happen if he doesn't want to get married again Brooke? What if he doesn't want to have more children? Are you willing to give that up for him? Have you even thought of that?

Brooke replied almost immediately. – You know what I think about marriage. It's just a formality, is the bond what matters.

– You're not listening Brooke! God! Yeah, I know the crap you say about marriage, but that's just because you had a bad experience and you want to believe it doesn't matter to you. Besides, you feel that way because you haven't met the right guy. But if Jack asked you, you'd marry him within an hour. I'd put money on that.

– You're out of your mind… –Brooke said, almost whispering.

– Brooke, let's be honest, please. Let's say you are okay with that, that you don't want a big wedding and you don't want to experience motherhood in a biological way. But what would happen if you wake up one day and decide that's not what you want anymore? Would you walk away from him and his kids just like that? You wouldn't just break Jack's heart, you would hurt these kids too, because they would also make a bond with you. Or are you planning on staying out of the picture forever and pretend they don't exist?

Brooke was stifling her tears. – Of course not…

– Then understand it, honey. Jack knows all of these. I'm sure he can handle things, he's a survivor, Brooke. But he can't afford to make his kids suffer for circumstances they can not choose. You get it, do you?

– Yeah… you're absolutely right. But I wouldn't Ilana, I would never abandon them.

– Well, we don't know that, especially if you're not willing to think it through. Is this what you really want Brooke? Do you want to share a man with his children for at least other 14 years, maybe? You have to know that these kids will always be on top of his priorities. He's responsible for them, and so you'll be if you decide to be a part of his life. That's not so simple, hon.

– I know.

– Well, I'm not sure about that. All I've heard for the last two weeks is how perfect he is, how beautiful his children are, how amazing his sister's blue eyes are and how cool is that Charlie the rock star is his brother-in-law. You're not getting the big picture dear.

Brooke couldn't fight it anymore and burst in tears. – You're right, I'm so stupid.

– No, you're not. You just happen to like him a lot. I don't blame you, he's gorgeous Brooke. And I'm sure he's a good man, I told you that before. Now for what you tell me, I really believe he is. But you've got to understand this guy has issues to figure out. He's probably been sad longer than he can remember, grieving his wife's death. Then Miss Perfection comes along and happens to like him. Of course he's going to panic! He's not used to feel this way about a woman anymore. He's probably very confused.

– You're right. I just hadn't seen it that way. –Ilana gave Brooke a sympathetic look. Brooke sighed. – I should've slept with him at least. –she said, trying to relieve the tension.

­– You will, eventually. –Ilana affirmed.

­­– Stop…

– I mean it Brooke. I know he likes you, I saw how he looked at you, and now I know he cares about your feelings. That's why you need to think it through, so when he calls you, you'll have made up your mind and be sure about your decision.

– Well, you don't have to worry. He won't call me…

– He will. Just give him some time…

­Brooke smiled at Ilana, not believing what she had just said. – Okay, then.

– Fine. Now just go to bed and have a nice sleep, okay? I'll se you tomorrow at work.

­– Alright. Thank you, Ilana.

– Thank you my ass! You still have to make him write his memoirs. –Ilana replied playfully, blinking an eye.

Brooke just rolled her eyes. ­– Night sweetie…


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Fifteen days had passed since Brooke returned from LA. As she expected, Jack hadn't called. She had thought about all the things Ilana warned her about and she repeated to herself every single day that a relationship with him would never work. But still she felt totally blue.

That bothered her. She had never been easily impressed and she had learnt to be precautious and to take good care of her heart, especially after what happened with Ryan. But she just couldn't help to be disillusioned because Jack wouldn't give her a chance. What she felt for him was overwhelming and even unexplainable to her.

She tried to keep herself busy to block that kind of thoughts. The worst part was that she had been avoiding Patrick and hadn't returned his phone calls or e-mails, because she just wouldn't know what to say if he asked how things were going between her and Jack. She didn't know if Patrick knew, if Jack ever mentioned anything or whose side Patrick would be. She felt bad for not being able to be honest with her best friend.

She was working in her office when Ilana walked in.

– Okay, you need to pack, we're flying. –Ilana announced.

– Are we? And why's that?

– You're coming with me to close a deal.

Brooke raised an eyebrow and gave Ilana a questioning look. Ilana went on. – Rumor has it Naomi Campbell is planning on writing her bio and I need her to publish it with us.

– And what does that have to do with me?

– Well, I kind of… sold you out. I promised her the cover of your section with a huge interview, nice photo portfolio and everything. We're flying tomorrow morning to LA. –Ilana said.

Brooke paralyzed when she heard that. – Okay, I'll arrange everything so Irene can go. –she replied flatly.

– Irene? No sweetie, we want _you_. Naomi's not talking to a simple reporter. In fact, you're kind of closing the deal for me.

– Irene's not a simple reporter, she's the best I have, you know that, she's well known in the industry.

– You're not listening to me. _You have_ to come. Naomi read your Pulitzer piece and she wants to meet you. That's our best chance to get the exclusive of the biography. This deal depends on you.

Brooke stared at Ilana, annoyed. – Honey I'm sorry. I can't, you should've told me earlier. But I promise Irene will get it, she knows how to deal with fashion divas.

Ilana flushed and got furious. – Okay, what the fuck is the matter with you? I know you for, how long? Five years now? And I've always supported you, always, no matter what. And now I'm asking you for one stupid little favor and you're turning me down? I don't fucking believe you!

– No, please Ilana, don't say that, it's just… I can't go to LA now, please…

– And why the hell not? –Then it hit Ilana. – Oh my God! You've got to be kidding me!

– What?

– Don't tell me you don't want to come because you're afraid to see the doctor!

Brooke looked down, embarrassed. ­­– Well, yeah, I don't want to go back there in a while, if that's okay with you. I was told to fuck off and it's not cool to show my face there after that.

– But it's a huge city! What are the chances of running into him? None!

– Well, I would've sworn that two weeks ago too, but then guess what? I ran into him at the airport!

– Please Brooke, please. I need to get that publication. Our Holiness will give me a huge cookie if I close the year with that deal. It's going to be a one hour thing, that's all Naomi's giving us. We fly tomorrow morning, we see her at 2:00 pm and we're done. We get back home the morning after. It's a 24 hour trip, I promise. You won't even have to leave the hotel, everything's going to be arranged there. –Ilana begged.

– Ilana, please, don't make me go there. I can't.

– You don't get to say "no" to me! –Ilana snapped, anger in her voice.

Brooke sighed and then nodded. – Okay, but I'm not leaving the hotel, I'm telling you! I can't run into _anybody_ there, okay?

– I'll buy you a wig if you want. Nobody will see you.

– Fine! Damn it! You're such a bitch!

– Don't call me that or I'll make Naomi hit you. You know that's _way_ easy! –Ilana replied, mischievously.

– Just get the hell out of my office…

– Flight leaves at 7:00 a.m., okay?

– Fine!

Back in LA, Jack was trying to keep himself busy too. Being as rational as he was, it was easy for him not to think about Brooke during the day. He was convinced pushing her away had been the best thing to do. _I'm better off alone_, he repeated in his head since the last time he saw her.

Yet after the day was over and he put his kids to bed, he walked into his room and felt unbearably alone. It wasn't the empty bed what bothered him, but his empty heart. Then he thought of Brooke and the good time he had with her, even though it had been for such a short period. When he thought of how amusing she was, of her smile and explosive laugh, of how transparent she was, it made him smile. But then he thought of how he pushed her away and felt mad at himself. Then that anger turned into sorrow. He even blamed Kate for how miserable he'd been since she died. _I was doomed since the day I asked you to stitch my back,_ he used to think, like telling her.

As days went by, Jack's family noticed he returned to his usual state, quiet, sadness in his eyes and an almost absence of smiles on his face. Margo and Claire realized it, of course, and it kind of made them sad. They didn't know what was going on in Jack's life and he was always reluctant to open for them to learn about it, but they felt sorry he was back to his now usual mood, the one he'd had since Kate passed.

Margo and Claire had talked about it. The days Jack had been cheerful, they were positive he was seeing someone. After Claire ran into Brooke at Jack's office, she was convinced her brother liked that girl, who she believed was actually a patient. Claire had told Margo her theory, and Margo agreed. But now that Jack was bitter again, they were not sure about it. They wanted Jack to be happy, but didn't know how to help him. It had never been easy for him to let people in. Claire knew it, and she tried hard to show his brother that she cared and that he could count on her.

Claire loved Jack, in a fraternal way of course. Before she knew he was her brother, she always looked up for him and she never forgot he was the first one to help her after the plane crashed. She trusted him and felt protected with his sole presence. Back on the island, when Hurley told everybody Jack had been abducted by the Others, she felt sick. Nobody ever asked her or even noticed, but she was worried to death.

Then the day she knew Jack was her brother, she felt shocked at first, but that feeling quickly turned into happiness and even pride. She admired Jack for the great man he was, but especially because he had always looked after her and Aaron without knowing they were related. The protection Jack provided her remained after they got rescued. She knew she could count on him anyway, anytime. She wondered if he knew she was there for him too. That's why she was always trying to show him.

It was Sunday and all the family gathered at Jack's house, located in a fancy neighborhood in Beverly Hills. Margo was preparing the meal with Claire's help. Charlie and Hurley were watching a football game, drinking a beer. The kids were playing in the pool.

Claire noticed Jack wasn't around and went out to the pool area to look for him. She found him working on the garden, like he was trying to sweat his thoughts out.

– Hey. –Claire told him, smiling shyly.

– Hey. ­–he replied, smiling back at her.

– It would be nice if the gardener we pay had something to do once in a while, you know? –she said, handing him a beer.

– It's therapeutic. Thanks. –he said, giving her a long look, noticing she wanted to tell him something. –Everything okay?

– Yeah… ­­­–she answered and took a deep breath, before going on. – I know about your date.

Jack's face dropped and he stiffened. – What?

– Hurley told us about Varya's party…

– Really? What did he say and to whom? –he snapped, making Claire nervous.

– Just Charlie and me. He told us, um, that you met a girl and you seemed to like her.

Jack shook his head in disagreement and rubbed his eyes. Claire went on. – Look, I don't mean to stick my nose in your personal life or anything… um… I just want you to know that I'm happy for you, okay? –she told him, hesitantly.

Jack looked at her and realized she was trying to get closer to him. ­He threw a short smile. – There's nothing to be happy about. –he said.

Claire nodded and looked deeply in his eyes. – Right… I kind of… noticed.

– What you mean? –he asked.

– Well, you know, you were so happy lately and now you're… the same.

– The same? You mean the same badass, the same what? –he replied wryly.

­­– God, no! I mean, you've been depressed since Kate died and seeing you so excited really thrilled us. Then Hurley told us about this girl and it was great, but these days you look sad again, so I thought you might want to… talk about it.

Jack remained silent. Claire took a deep breath and kept talking. – Jack, I know you don't trust people easily. And I know I've only been your sister for 8 years but… I care about you, you know? And I want you to be happy. So, if you ever feel like talking, I'm here, okay?

Jack felt moved by Claire's speech. She started walking away when he finally spoke. – I, um, pushed her away. –he said, almost to himself.

– What?

– The girl I was seeing. I pushed her away. –he confessed to Claire, looking down.

– Why?

– Because I can't. There're so many things… Jackie and Brett… She doesn't even live in Los Angeles… –he said with a wry smile.

Claire nodded, understanding what he meant in spite of his lack of eloquence. – Well, you don't have to rush anything, you know? You can try and if things work out, she eventually can meet Jackie and Brett. But you don't have to decide that right away, until you're sure about it. You'll figure it out.

– You don't have to worry about me, Claire. It's no big deal, really. Things are fine the way they are. Nothing's going to change. –he assured her.

– I'm not worried. I just think you should try to move on. You don't have to be alone, Jack.

­­– I'm not alone, I have you all, that's good enough.

– Well, that's sweet of you, but I don't see you making out with Hurley. ­–she replied mischievously.

Jack burst out laughing. – That's gross even to say. –Then he thought for a minute and asked Claire: – My mom knows about this?

– She's kind of suspicious, but she knows nothing about the party.

– Right…

– She's really pretty, you know?

– What?

–­ Brooke. That's her name, right?

– How you know?

– Um, I met her, remember? At the hospital. Guess she's the same Brooke that attended the party.

– Yeah.

– She's not your patient, then.

­­– No. But we've lost touch, so… –he said, shaking his head.

– Jack, since the first day I met you, you've been always taking care of everybody around you. I think it's time you let someone take care of you. –Claire affirmed, giving him a set look.

Jack just looked away, not knowing what to say. Claire patted his shoulder sweetly and walked away, after telling him the meal was ready. He saw Claire getting the kids out of the pool and taking them inside, where Margo was waiting for them with towels, and Hurley and Charlie were finishing setting the table. The image of his family made him smile, but he couldn't help but notice something was missing in the picture. All of the sudden he found himself thinking of Brooke again.


	22. Chapter 22

Finally I could upload these chaps.!!! The site was not working!! Thanks to Foxy4ever as always... Enjoy ;)

**Chapter 22**

On Monday, Brooke and Ilana had finally closed the deal and got the rights to publish the upcoming biography of Naomi Campbell. It was almost 3:00 O'clock.

– I'm starving. What you feel like? –Ilana asked Brooke.

– I'd like some meat.

– Oh, there's a great steak house at Sunset Boulevard, we can…

– I'm not leaving the hotel, remember? –Brooke interrupted, cutting Ilana off.

– Oh, come on! You still have that paranoia?

– We have a deal. And after today, you owe me _big time_.

– Okay, fine! Then why I'm asking you? Let's go to the damn lobby and pick a restaurant here.

– Now we're talking.

Ilana and Brooke had their meal in peace with a nice chat. They had the rest of the day free, but since Brooke was determined not to leave the hotel, they decided to stay at the lobby bar, have a drink and talk until they got bored enough to just go to bed and then leave the next morning.

The plan was working beautifully and Brooke at last forgot her obsession of running into Patrick, Jack or anybody related to them there. After all, she and Ilana were at the lobby of a hotel in the city where these people lived in, it's not like they had something to do right there.

– I need to pee. Be right back… –Ilana said.

– Okay.

Brooke was waiting placidly when she saw Hurley walking out the elevator and heading to the bar, walking straight in her direction. _Oh-my-God! This can't be happening! I can't hide anywhere! Please go away!_ she thought, going into a panic attack. All that could occur to her was to stick on her sunglasses and hide behind a menu, so lame. But it was too late. Hurley had seen her.

– Dude! –Hurley yelled at Brooke, but she ignored him at first. – Dude, it's you! –he insisted, now standing beside her and patting her shoulder.

– Excuse me? –she replied, hoping he thought he was confusing her.

– You're Jack's chick! ­–Hurley affirmed with an open smile. Brooke felt her blood boil after she heard that statement.

– Hey! –she answered with a wide, fake smile, not knowing what to say.

– What are you doing here?

– I'm just… hanging out. –she replied, feeling she was two seconds from hyperventilating.

– Oh man! Jack's horrible, he never tells me anything, he didn't mention you were here. –Hurley said, afflicted.

Brooke froze. It was clear that Hurley had no idea she and Jack had lost touch. She didn't know what to say. – Well, you know, the thing is… I just came to close a deal, it's a 24 hour thing, really. I arrived this morning and I'm leaving tomorrow at first hour, so… –she explained, trying to be casual.

– Oh, I see.

– But what are _you_ doing here? –Brooke asked, really intrigued, not believing her luck.

– Oh, I came to the spa, I come once a week to get a massage, see my nutritionist, you know… So, when you're coming back?

– I really don't know, I have a lot of work back home and... I really don't know. ­–Brooke replied, not giving any more details.

– Okay, you let me know. 'Cause Jack never says anything and it'd be cool to catch up, right?

– Of course.

– Well, dude, I've got to run. It was nice to see you! –Hurley said, giving Brooke a long hug.

Brooke let him embrace her and said: – It was nice to see you too, Hurley.

With that, Hurley left the hotel and Brooke went hysterical just in time, when Ilana was back from the restroom.

– Who the hell was that? –she asked Brooke, raising an eyebrow.

– This is all your stupid fault! –Brooke affirmed, frantic.

– What? What did I do? –Ilana asked, high pitched and amazed.

– Now he's going to know I'm here!

– What the fuck are you talking about? –Ilana asked, eyes wide open in disbelief.

– _That_ was Hurley, one of Jack's best friends!

– Oh boy…

– Yeah!

– I don't believe it, your luck sucks, you know?

– I know! But you _forced me_ to come here, even after I told you _this_ could happen!

– Man, this is fucking unbelievable! What the hell was he doing here anyway?

– It doesn't matter! Now, get the fucking check and let's go to the room.

– Why? It's not like the doctor's coming here, is he? –Brooke remained silent and gave Ilana a furious "You've got to be kidding me!" look. – Okay, okay! –Ilana replied and then asked for the check. They left the bar and quickly got to the elevator. Soon they were in the room and Brooke now had a headache.

– Damn it, damn it! This is fucking pathetic!

– Calm down. What happened, anyway? –Ilana asked.

Brooke took a deep breath, not knowing how to actually explain what had just happened. – Well, he… told me Jack didn't mention I was here, but he assumed I'm here for him.

– How about that? He hasn't said anything, then. –Ilana said with an impish smile.

– Why would he do that? I mean… I don't understand. Hurley was just positive we're together. He even called me "Jack's chick"… –Brooke retorted, confused.

– Well, he told you he would think about it. Maybe he hasn't figured it out and…

– Why would he think I'm Jack's chick? It's nonsense… –Brooke interrupted. – Oh my God! What if Hurley tells Jack he saw me? Fuck! Damn it! Call the airline, we've got to get out of here tonight!

– Easy you freak! So what if he finds out you're here? I mean, you're not here because of him.

– You don't understand! Hurley will tell him about the whole encounter and me not saying we've lost touch! He's going to think I did it on purpose! –Brooke said, hysterical.

– Oh come on, it can't get any worse! Besides, he hasn't mentioned it either, so, you could also think _he_ did it on purpose.

– God! I can't look at you right now, I just fucking hate you! Now he'll think I came to look for him!

– And why would he think that? Don't be ridiculous, there's no way you could've possibly imagined running into Hurley like this. This might be for the best, though… –Ilana assured.

– Really? Why's that? –Brooke asked wryly, raising an eyebrow.

– Well, best case scenario, Hurley won't mention anything, at least not today, and when Jack finds out, we'll be back home. Worst case scenario, Jack already knows you're here.

Brooke was looking at Ilana right in the eye, not understanding a shit. ­­­– Okay, so, I'm kind of lost here, how your both possible scenarios could be _for the best_ again?

– He'll call you. Or not. But then you'll know what's next.

– What? –Brooke asked again shaking her head.

– If he calls you, you'll talk about it. And if he doesn't, well, he's not into you.

– Of course he's not into me! God Ilana! You can be such an asshole sometimes…

– I'm not sure about it, Brooke. His friend has no idea. I guess none of his friends do. Why wouldn't he say you're not in touch anymore? I'd say because he's not sure about it…

– Oh, just shut the fuck up! You're not playing with my mind this time. End of this conversation. I just want to… forget about it. I'm having a bath.

Brooke entered the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. Ilana breathed deeply. She really couldn't believe it, but it seemed Brooke was being drawn to Jack by an invisible force. She smiled to herself. _This is meant to happen_, she thought.

After an hour, Brooke was still in the tub. Ilana was watching TV and eating some fries. Her cell phone rang… _Wait, that's not my cell phone_, she thought. ­­– Brooke… your phone's ringing. Brooke! ­–but Brooke didn't reply. The cell rang again. And again. Ilana checked on Brooke and knocked on the bathroom's door. ­– Okay little mermaid, you can spend another hour in there, but your fish tail's not growing back.

Brooke opened the door wearing a robe and a towel on her head. – You think you're funny? I fell asleep. Were you yelling at me? –Brooke asked, rubbing her eyes.

– Yeah, your phone was ringing.

– So?

– It rang 3 times. Maybe it's urgent.

– Then they'll call back.

As soon Brooke said that, her phone rang again. She took it out of her purse and checked the caller ID. She went pale. She breathed deeply and put the phone back in her purse.

– You're not picking up? –Ilana asked, disconcerted.

– Um… nope. I'm off duty now… –Brooke replied, nervous. Then she went back to the bathroom to get dressed. Ilana didn't buy it and sneaked into her purse. She checked the missed calls on Brooke's cell phone. It was Jack.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

After Hurley left the hotel he headed to Charlie's. Margo and Claire were out for their weekly bridge at the club and Hurley offered to baby-sit with him. He pulled over and went into the house. Jack was also there, which surprised Hurley.

– Dude, you're here! –he told Jack, confused.

– Yeah, so what? –Jack replied, amused.

– You didn't work?

– I had the evening off.

– Oh! Right, I know… –Hurley replied, giving Jack a mischievous look, which confused Jack.

– You know what? –he asked, intrigued.

Hurley glanced at Charlie, who was in the garden with the children. Then told Jack in a lower voice: – I know Brooke's here. I ran into her at the hotel. You don't have to be so secretive, you know?

Jack's face dropped when he heard that. He had no idea what to say and got really tense. Hurley noticed it. – Dude, everything alright? –he asked Jack.

– Yeah. Where did you see her? –Jack asked back, nervous.

– At the lobby bar.

– Right. Was she… with someone? –Jack questioned, a little concern in his voice.

– She was alone. Waiting for you, I guess. You better hurry man, enjoy your precious time, since she's leaving early in the morning, right?

Jack felt his head spin. – Right. Listen… nobody knows she came and I would like to keep it that way, okay? –he said, looking at Charlie and the kids.

– Oh, no problem, dude. Have fun, I'll just… make something up.

– Great, thanks.

Jack left Claire's house and went home. He needed to call Brooke. He felt upset he had found out she was in LA via Hurley. _Why she didn't tell me?_, he thought. At his studio, he took his cell phone and dialed Brooke. No answer. He dialed again and another time. No response. That annoyed him. _Pick up, pick up._ But there was no answer yet.

A feeling of anxiety started growing inside him. Why wasn't she picking up?_ Maybe she's in the middle of something_, he thought. But then he remembered Hurley saw her at the bar doing nothing. Maybe her cell phone was out of her reach. He thought of zillion reasons for her not to pick up.

Then he thought of another possibility. Maybe she didn't want to talk to him. _Why? It's been only 2 weeks. I never said I'd never call again._ He called her again, and again she didn't answer. He thought of the worst: maybe she was with somebody. _Someone._ That thought made him surprisingly mad. He wouldn't allow it. He liked Brooke, he wanted her. And he always got what he wanted. Most of the times, at least. This time wouldn't be an exception. This time he wouldn't let another man win the woman he wanted.

He dialed Brooke's number once more, unless this time her voice mail answered. _Hello, you're reaching Brooke Julian, I can't answer right now, please leave a message and I'll call you back…_

The sound of her hoarse voice made him shiver. She had a sexy voice. He didn't leave a message. He hung up and felt more upset. She had turned off her phone. _Damn it_, he thought. But now he was determined. He had to see her. He thought of asking Patrick if he knew Brooke was in town, but he dropped it. He was an adult and must behave like one.

Back in the hotel, Brooke came out of the bathroom wearing sweat pants and a tank top, her wet, messy hair on her shoulders. She caught Ilana staring at her cell phone.

– What the hell are you doing? –she asked Ilana, annoyed.

­– I'm sick of this damn thing ringing! Pick up.

– I'm not picking up.

– Why not? –Ilana snapped back.

– I don't want to.

– You don't want to answer _Jack_? –Ilana asked not believing her ears.

– Nope. Is that a problem? –Brooke snapped, and then the cell phone rang again.

– Well, sure it is a problem, especially when he's insisting insanely! You'll just let it ring till the battery runs out? I'm not planning on sleeping with your ring tone as a lullaby!

The phone kept ringing. It made Ilana crazy. She had a problem with phones, she couldn't let them ring more than two times without picking up and it filled her with anxiety when they were left unattended. Brooke didn't seem to care. She was definitely enjoying Jack's insistence. – Sure, why not? –Brooke replied.

– I'm picking up. –Ilana threatened.

– I'll fucking kill you if you do!

– Damn it Brooke! Why you're doing this? He just wants to talk to you! And you want to talk to him as well, what the hell are you doing? –Ilana said, desperate.

– He doesn't want to talk to me. He just wants to know if Hurley really saw me.

– Whatever! Just pick up! Why you do this to yourself? Jesus!

– I'm not doing anything. I'm not answering, period. –Brooke affirmed vehemently.

– Then I'll turn the damn phone off.

Brooke looked deeply at Ilana, not happy with the idea, but then she nodded. – Fine, turn it off.

And so did Ilana. Brooke stood there, waiting for Ilana to ask million questions which she was willing to answer, because she needed to listen to herself saying why it was best not to answer Jack's call. But Ilana wouldn't give her the chance to justify herself and just took the remote and went back zapping the TV. Brooke understood the message and just laid on the bed, silent. She really wanted to talk to Jack, but she thought there was no use, at least not at that moment. Maybe he'd call her again, once she got back to New York. She felt uneasy and sad again.

After dwelling on it for what seemed forever, Jack decided to look for Brooke at the hotel. He rushed to his car and drove there. Seeing her had become an obsession for him in the last couple of hours.

Those couple hours felt like an eternity to Brooke. Ilana hadn't said a word to her since she'd turned off the phone. It was too early for Brooke to fall asleep, not that she could anyway.

When Jack got there, he walked straight to the front desk and asked to the girl attending to dial Brooke Julian's room.

– We don't have any registrations under that name, sir. –the attendant told him.

That frustrated Jack. Now he was positive Brooke was with someone. Or what if she wasn't even staying in that hotel? He had to make sure. ­– Listen, this is important. –he told the girl. – I really need to know if she's staying here, maybe under someone else's name? She's a fashion editor from New York, I'm sure you know her. ­–he demanded, his hands on the front desk.

– I'm sorry sir, I'm not allowed to give that information away. –the girl replied coolly.

– I'm not a stalker or anything, I'm a doctor, maybe you can check… –he tried in despair.

– I'm terribly sorry, Doctor. I can't. –the girl said, cutting him off.

Jack was evidently upset. Where to look? If Brooke was with someone, how to now who it was? _Think Jack, think. _Then it hit him. – Kritzer. Try Ilana Kritzer, please. –he ordered the girl.

The girl rolled her eyes, but seeing he was determined, she checked for the name. – Okay, she's staying with us. You want me to dial sir?

– Yes, please. Then ask for Brooke Julian and tell her Jack Shephard is waiting for her at the lobby, okay?

– Okay.

Ilana was falling asleep of boredom. Brooke was also trying to sleep and didn't move when the phone rang in the room. Ilana picked up. ­­– Hello? Yes, who is this? Right… Okay, I'll be down in 5 minutes, okay? –Then Ilana hung up.

– Who was that? –Brooke asked, clueless.

– Get up.

– What?

– Jack's waiting for you at the lobby.

Brooke's jaw dropped. – What? No fucking way! How? No way! Tell him I'm not here!

– You tell him yourself. I already said you'll be down in 5, so…

– Why you did that? How did he find me anyway?

– Smart boy. How the hell should I know?

– I'm not going.

– Jesus Christ! I'm sick of you, really. You're worse than a 12 year-old. Look, if you don't go down, he'll come knocking to this door and then I'll have to leave and I'm not taking another room, so just go. – Ilana ordered her, determined.

– But I look like shit.

– You can never look like shit. Just put on some shoes and go. –Ilana told Brooke, with a softer tone.

Brooke nodded and quickly took off her sweat pants and put on her jeans instead. She left the white tank top she was wearing and just put on a pair of sneakers. It was kind of cold, so she put on a jacket. She was ready to go. – I'm so nervous. –she told Ilana.

– Don't be. He sure wants to tell you something. Just let him talk.

– Wish me luck. ­–she breathed deeply. – Okay, then.

She left the room and walked to the elevator. The doors opened in front of her. She stepped in and pushed the "L" button. Her hands were shaking.


	24. Chapter 24

Sorry sorry I kept u waiting for so long! Hell of work... But here it is, enjoy ;)

** Chapter 24**

The elevator got fast to the lobby. Brooke was terribly nervous. She stepped out and her eyes sought for Jack. She couldn't see him. She jumped when Jack spoke behind her.

– Hey.

– Hi! –Brooke replied, high pitched and flushed.

– Did I scare you? I didn't mean to. –Jack told her, evidently nervous.

– No, I just… I didn't see you.

– You want a drink? –he asked her pointing to the bar, looking like he really needed one.

– Sure.

They went to the bar and took a table. Brooke ordered a Vodka Tonic and Jack asked for a Corona beer. Brooke didn't say a thing and only looked down, not knowing what to do, but she felt Jack's eyes fixated on her. Now, in front of her, he didn't know what to say. He was happy to see her. _God, she's so beautiful_, he thought. Seeing her was so revitalizing… It made him feel alive again.

The drinks finally arrived. They both took a long sip, trying to drown the tension. Brooke finally raised her eyes to meet his. Jack finally spoke and went right to the point.

– So…

– So…

– I've been calling you. –he told her.

– Have you? –Brooke replied, raising an eyebrow, knowing it was not true.

– I mean today. You didn't answer…

Brooke looked down, embarrassed. – I, um, don't have my cell phone here. I forgot it at home. –she lied.

– Right. Why you didn't tell me you were coming? –he asked, concerned.

Brooke threw him a questioning look. – Was I supposed to?

– I just don't know why you didn't let me know.

Brooke didn't understand. She looked at him and sighed. She just spoke her mind. – I'm sorry, I don't understand. As far as I can remember, you told me you needed to slow down, to think things over.

– Why you're here? –Jack asked her, like he wasn't paying attention to her words.

– I came for work.

­– Patrick knows?

– No. I didn't tell anybody.

– You're mad at me. That's why you didn't say you were coming.

– What are you talking about? Why should I be mad at you? –Brooke asked him, abashed.

– I know what I told you last time we met. I just wanted to be honest and…

Brooke cut him off. – Jack, I'm not reproaching you for anything. And I'm not mad at you. I didn't want you to know because… well, it's been only two weeks. I didn't want you to think I'm pushing you or anything. Besides, this was a 24 hour trip, so…

– I don't think you're pushing anything. –he assured her. – When you're leaving?

– Early in the morning.

– I see. –he said, looking down.

Now Brooke was the one staring at him. What he made her feel frightened her. It was overwhelming. She liked him so much… She couldn't understand why she felt that way around him. After all, she didn't know him much. Yet she knew he was caring, considered, committed and, above all, a great man, not to mention he was beautiful. She couldn't explain why she found all those qualities in him, she just knew.

After a minute Brooke was aware he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. Therefore, she made the first move. – Jack… why you're here? –she asked softly.

He raised his eyes to meet hers. – I wanted to see you.

– Why?

Jack took a deep breath. He wasn't sure of what he was about to say, but he tried something he had learnt from Brooke herself. He tried to be transparent, maybe for the first time in a long time. He thought telling her how he felt and what his fears were would be the best thing to do at the moment. – I… um… listen… I want you to know that I didn't mean to hurt you. I like you a lot Brooke. I think you're beautiful and fantastic, I do, but liking you that much has been unexpected to me. After my wife died I never thought I could be with anyone else. It's been very tough for me… but then I met you and all of the sudden I was thinking of that possibility. And I just panicked. I'm not good at letting go… But the truth is I keep thinking about you and regretting pushing you away. I didn't like you not answering my calls this evening. But I don't want to be with you just because I'm lonely, 'cause you don't deserve that. You're flawless and I'm way far from being, I have a lot of baggage… It freaks me out, all of these.

Brooke was listening carefully to him. She understood right away what he meant and what he was feeling. – Maybe you're moving on, that's why you're scared. I know changes are scary... I'm not flawless, Jack. You just think that because you don't know me enough. I have million flaws and if you stick around, you'll soon find out, unfortunately for me… I like you too, very much. We get along and I think we can work things out. The question you should be asking is if you like me enough for giving it a shot or not. –she told him, looking deeply in his eyes.

Jack felt lost in her look. Brooke had this quality that made him feel everything was going to be fine. She brought calm to him. Above all, she made him feel _hope_. Seeing her beautiful face and her open heart washed away his doubts. He let his feelings decide. He felt warm inside and smiled openly at her. – What would be those flaws? 'Cause I can't find any, really. –he assured her.

Brooke sensed he was trying to lighten things up and smiled. She looked down, a little embarrassed. That was quite a question. – Um… let me see… well, I'm bossy, obsessive, impatient… I swear a lot… I'm loud, I talk too much, I always want to be right, so I don't accept my mistakes easily. I can be very bitchy when I'm having an anxiety attack, which happens often, and I'm world-famous for yelling at people. –she admitted, flushing. Then she thought for a second and told him giggling: – Okay, I just killed any chance of going out with you.

Jack burst out laughing. – I don't think you swear a lot. I've never heard you swearing, actually.

– You tell that to my mom…

– And… you're loud? –he asked her with an impish smile. Brooke got it and felt terribly embarrassed.

– No! Not _that_ kind of loud, I mean I _speak_ very loud and I'm noisy. –she corrected, her face flushing.

Jack couldn't help but laugh. – Just asking.

– I love to entertain you, but that's not funny at all. –she said, mischievously.

Finally, with the ice broken between them, they started talking like they used the weeks before. Brooke narrated with full details everything that went on during that time. For her surprise, Jack also shared with her his days at work and even mentioned Claire and Charlie. Time flew and Jack remembered he didn't even mention to his family where he would be going. He had to check on his kids. Besides, Brooke had a plane to catch early in the morning, she was also checking her watch.

– Wow! Is it that late? –she asked, surprised.

– I know. Time flies. –he replied.

– Yeah… I guess this is it, then…

– No, this is far from being it. –he affirmed, looking deeply at her.

– What you mean? –she asked, intrigued and smiling at the same time.

Jack took her hand from across the table and grabbed it softly. – I want to try, Brooke. I want to have you around. I'll do my best to make this work, I promise.

Brooke's eyes filled with joy. She felt nervous and just smiled. – Okay. I'll do my best too.

With that, Jack asked for the check. Once they left the bar, he walked Brooke to the elevator. Standing in front of her, he held her tight in a long embrace, which she corresponded. He could smell the scent of her shampoo in her still damped hair and feel the soft skin of her neck beside his cheek. Not letting her go, he looked from her eyes to her lips and kissed her softly. Brooke closed her eyes and kissed him back, shivering. Soon the kiss deepened and they were both eager for more. Brooke placed one hand on his chest and the other on the back of his head, and Jack took her from her waist and pulled her against his body. They had to break the kiss to breathe and Brooke giggled, nervous.

– I'd better go. –he told to her lips.

– Yeah, me too. I have to get up really early.

– I know. –he replied, finally letting her go and gently caressing her cheek. – Call me as soon as you land, okay? –he ordered her, in his classical protective tone.

– Okay. –she replied with a soft smile.

­– Have a good sleep, babe.

– You too. Night, Jack.

– Night, Brooke.

Then he walked away, left the hotel and went home. When he got there Margo was worried, since she had heard nothing from him the whole day. He told his mother he had a last minute emergency at the hospital and didn't have time to call. Margo thought he looked way too smiley to be coming out from the ER, but she was glad he was finally home. Jackie and Brett were already asleep, but still Jack went to each of their rooms and kissed them goodnight.

Meanwhile Brooke went to her room and Ilana was still awake, waiting for her. When she opened the door, Brooke jumped and hugged her and jolted her in excitement. Then she told her friend how things went with Jack, and Ilana felt happy for her.

That night, both Brooke and Jack fell asleep with a smile on their faces, happy. He thought of the taste of her kisses and she dreamt of his strong arms holding her. They both had a long, nice sleep, knowing they had found someone special again.


	25. Chapter 25

Hello again. This time I have a burning question. It's lame and old, I know, but please someone tell me. Where did we get that the name of Jack's mom is Margo? 'Cause I checked on the credits of the episode where she appears and it never says her name is Margo. Nobody mentions it on that episode either, and I have the idea it's never been mentioned ever since. Yet I've seen at Lostpedia and some other forums they refer to her as Margo. Why's that? It'd be nice if somebody told me please, just curios :P

Here 2 new chapters, enjoy...**  
**

**Chapter 25**

Brooke was losing weight. Not because she was trying to look hotter for Jack, but because flying every weekend to L.A. and living under airplane food was obviously paying off. On week days she worked insanely to get everything done and be able to catch Friday evening's flight to have dinner with Jack, spent Saturday with him and fly back to New York on Sunday. Therefore, she was skipping lunch time and running all the time. Yet she had managed to handle work perfectly and make time to see him.

They were building a steady relationship. Jack called her everyday early in the morning, at lunch time and before going to bed. He always asked her what she was wearing, which she still found sexy, so she asked him back, but she didn't enjoy his answers like he enjoyed hers, since Jack was always wearing a white coat or scrubs during the day. Jack kept her talking about her work, friends, family, and it almost felt as if they didn't live from coast to coast.

Now Jack was always in an excellent mood. Everybody assumed it was the effect love made on him, so his family and friends were just letting him be, no questions asked. Margo and Claire were waiting with huge expectation for him to tell he had a girlfriend and introduce her, but even when Charlie and Hurley came with direct insinuations, Jack just giggled, shook his head and changed the subject or just remained silent.

At the hospital, whenever Marion, Derek and Varya asked when they could see Brooke or make some plan in couples, Jack only said she was very busy and they didn't have time for that now. Patrick, on the other hand, was certain things were going fine, not only because Jack seemed extremely happy, but because he knew Brooke well and was positive she would tell him otherwise.

Brooke was doing perfect at work, motivated by the fact of seeing Jack every weekend. Exhaustion, the dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep and her poor airplane diet faded away the minute she saw Jack waiting for her at the airport every Friday night. That was heaven for her.

However, she had been neglecting her family and friends. They knew she had this new boyfriend who seemed to be the epitome of perfection for the way she described him, but they hadn't even seen her to learn more about him or her relationship.

One Friday, after a month of torrid romance, Ilana decided to confront Brooke and walked into her office knocking on the door.

– Excuse me? May I see Miss Julian please?

– Ha-ha, very funny. –Brooke replied laughing.

­– Oh, it's you! I'm sorry, I had forgotten what you looked like.

– Oh come on…

– It's true. I've barely seen you in a month, Brooke.

– Is that a complaint? Sounds like a complaint.

– No, I mean, I just want to know how you're doing, how's everything with the doctor and stuff.

– Everything's great, I've never been so happy in my life, he's perfect.

– Perfect huh? Wow! Never met a perfect man. Yet, rumor has it United Airlines are making a fortune of you, as well as the Hiltons, as if _they_ needed more money to waste. –Ilana said, mocking Brooke.

– Then tabloids should thank me for keeping her favorite sluttie loaded, so she can keep showing off. –Brooke replied with a smug smile on her face.

– So, when is Dr. Perfection coming to town?

Brooke stopped typing on her laptop and looked at Ilana. – I don't know, we haven't got into that yet. Why?

– Well, it would be nice to get to know the guy, don't you think? The girls keep asking. And I guess you'll introduce him to your parents, right?

Brooke looked away and said: – Of course… though it's difficult for him to travel because of the kids and stuff, you know…

– Right… So, how is he?

Brooke looked at Ilana, confused by her question. – What you mean?

– You know what I mean. Is he as good as he looks?

Brooke flushed, knowing Ilana was talking about sex. – You bet. –she replied, looking away again.

– Oh-my-God! You haven't screwed him yet? –Ilana asked, amazed.

– I don't think that's of your business. –Brooke snapped, a little annoyed.

– Oh come on! We've always been open about these things. How come you haven't slept with him?

Brooke sighed, defeated. – We're taking it slow I guess. Since we live in different cities, when we meet we do other stuff, you know…

– What freaking stuff would you prefer rather than sex? –Ilana asked with huge disbelief.

– Couple stuff. We go out, we talk, go to the movies… what's wrong with that? –Brooke asked back, somehow disappointed.

Ilana gave her a long look, knowing things were not as perfect as Brooke described. – You tell me.

Brooke sighed again and shook her head, frowning. She had just realized she was hiding her thoughts to her best friend and she didn't know why, so she spoke. – Well, I really don't know how to put it. We make out like pigs and I know he wants me, I can feel it, but last weekend I asked him to come up with me, to the room, you know, and he didn't want to. Maybe he's not ready, I don't know… –she said, abashed.

Ilana opened her eyes wide, not believing what Brooke just said. She tried to comfort her friend, though. – Well, as you said, you live in different cities, therefore your timing's just… different. You've been together only for a month, so officially you're on your fourth date, right? Or maybe he just wants the first time to be special…

– Yeah, maybe…

– You'll get there, I promise. All you have to do is seduce him. Wear some sexy lingerie, get him drunk, take him upstairs and screw him. I don't think he'd feel raped. Or you can just jump him in the middle of a movie. –Ilana suggested, trying to amuse her.

Brooke finally laughed. – Okay, I'll try that. –Then she smiled and said honestly: – I'm really happy Ilana. I'm in love with him.

– I know sweetie, I'm glad you are. You deserve it and more. Well, I've got to go and I guess you're in a hurry, so…

– I'll call you from there, okay?

– You won't, but I forgive you anyways.

Brooke closed her laptop and quickly grabbed her purse, keys and cell phone. She approached Ilana and held her tight. – You're still my number one honey. Thanks for being so supportive.

Ilana held her back and then let her go. – Okay, now you're being corny, just get the hell out of my sight and go meet your prince charming.

– See you on Monday!


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Jack felt terrible that night when Brooke asked him to come up to her suite and he turned her down. Of course he wanted her, since day one actually. No, he wasn't trying to generate sexual tension, there was already enough of it between them.

They did make out like pigs, like Brooke said, but that wasn't funny either, especially at their age and because they were always at public places. He was getting the message from Brooke: she was ready and open, so it was getting more and more difficult to stop every time they kissed. He was holding himself back and he knew it annoyed Brooke. She was a big girl and knew exactly what she wanted. Yet he thought he had a reason to wait.

It wasn't that he was unsure of his manhood or his performance. He wasn't even afraid of Brooke being not only younger, but young. He thought she was definitely experienced and passionate, which made him kind of nervous, since he was somehow rusty after two years of loneliness.

But that wasn't why he was holding himself back either. The reason Jack was containing his impulses was that he wanted to feel love. He had never believed in sex without love, even though he had experienced it. All the times he had slept with some girl he didn't feel anything for, he sure enjoyed it at first, but then the morning after he felt unbearably empty.

And there was another thing, what he feared the most: he always compared these one night stands with the woman he loved. He did that zillion times when Sarah left him and he even used to imagine he was with her, sometimes letting his anger out and caring only of satisfying himself, without giving a damn for the woman beneath or on top of him. Of course he always felt like shit after that.

He didn't want to do that to Brooke. He didn't want to compare her to Kate, who had been a wild lover and shook him to the core every time they made love. Brooke was nothing like Kate, he knew, but he didn't want to think of her when he made Brooke his. And to avoid that, he thought, he had to feel love for her. Yes, she was special, but he knew he didn't love her. He cared for her and wanted her, but love was a strong feeling he didn't have yet.

Being direct as she was, Jack knew it wouldn't be long until Brooke asked him why he was rejecting her, physically. There was no way she could wait for him to love her, since that might take quite a time, if it ever happened, not to mention he couldn't explain those reasons to her. He knew he couldn't keep her distracted with dinners out, movies or plays anymore. He was thinking of that when Brooke came out from the airport. He got off his car.

– Hi sweetie! –Brooke said giving him an effusive hug and then kissed him shortly on the lips.

– Hey. ­­–he replied with a big smile and kissed her back. He was really happy to see her. – How was your flight?

– Long, kind of turbulent, but at least it was on time, sort of.

– Right. –Then he put her luggage in the trunk and opened the door for Brooke to get in the car. – You want to go to the hotel or you want to eat first? –he asked her.

– Actually there's a little problem with that. –she said, worried.

– With what?

– I'm homeless. I have nowhere to stay.

– Why? –he asked, surprised.

– They had no rooms available until Sunday. I checked on every single hotel I know here, but everything's booked. Seems like the whole world came to L.A. for Thanksgiving.

– Uh-huh…

– So, I was thinking I have no choice but to stay at some drive-in, so maybe we should go eat first and then you can help me with that…

Jack kept silent and thought for a moment, then he nodded and said: – Okay, I heard of a new place we can go, they say they have the best martinis in the city.

– Well, let's see, then. –she replied with a smile.

They went to that restaurant Marion had been talking about the whole week at the hospital. It was the latest hot spot in L.A., so it was crowded and there was an endless wait list to get a table. Jack thought he should've seen that coming, since Marion was the jet-setter type of girl who was always looking for the new "it" place.

– We don't have to wait Jack, let's just go somewhere else. –Brooke told him, noticing he was getting annoyed. Jack hated crowds, she knew.

Jack loved the idea of leaving but when he was about to, a man stood behind Brooke and gripped her shoulders.

­– Brooke? –the man asked.

– Marty! –Brooke replied, surprised.

Then the man, who was very good looking and a metrosexual type, held her tight and asked: – What are you doing here?

Jack was watching the scene and didn't like at all his girlfriend being hugged by another man.

Brooke broke the hug and flushed. – Um, trying to get a table. –Then she looked at Jack and held his hand, taking him nearer her. – This is Jack. Jack, this is Marty.

Both men shook hands and nodded, without saying a word. Then Brooke asked Marty: – What are _you_ doing here?

– I own this place, with some other partners.

– Really? Wow! Congratulations.

– Thanks. But please, come with me, you don't have to wait.

Marty went right to the hostess and said something to her ear. Then he asked Jack and Brooke to follow him and gave them a table in the V.I.P. room. – If there's anything you need, please let me know. I suggest you try the Cosmo, I'm sure you'll like it, it's the best you've ever tasted. –Then Marty looked at Brooke with a mischievous smile. – Well, not like the Cosmos you have in New York, I must confess.

– Never. –Brooke replied with a smug smile.

– So, enjoy.

Mary walked away from the table and left Jack and Brooke alone. Jack looked deeply at her. – That was fast. Seems you know _Marty_ well. –he said.

– I do. He's a fashion photographer. We've worked together sometimes.

– He took your picture?

– Yeah, that's how we met. He took my first portfolio when I was in college. We were both starting back then, so we were kind of partners. He took great pics of me.

Jack raised an eyebrow. – Really? I'd like to see those.

– I'll show them to you. All you got to do is come home with me.

– Then I will. –Jack snapped.

Brooke noticed he was somewhat annoyed. – Are you jealous? –she asked him with an impish smile.

Jack stiffened and looked away. – Of course not. Why should I be? –he retorted, casual, as if he didn't care, but he was indeed jealous.

Brooke interpreted his answer as a sign that she was thinking she had a place in Jack's heart which she obviously didn't. She didn't like the idea at all. – Okay, then. –she took the menu and looked at it. – I'll try the Cosmo.

Jack looked at the menu too and nodded. ­– Fine.

It took forever for the plates to arrive and Brooke had two martinis in between. She knew how to hold her liquor, but she was close to get drunk because she had an empty stomach, was kind of jet-lagged and definitely tired, so the martinis quickly got to her head. Jack was in a better mood now and found really amusing how Brooke was getting loose.

They finished their dinner and prepared to leave. Marty told them the dinner was on the house, in spite of Jack's vehement refuse. They finally left the restaurant. Jack drove away and took the road to St. Sebastian.

– You know? I really like Marty, but…

Jack cut her off and said: – I think _he_ really likes _you_, way too much, if you ask me.

– I knew it!

– What?

– Someone's jealous.

– I'm not jealous, but I mean, he could be less obvious at least. He kept staring all the time. I felt watched.

– Oh come on! He's just a friend. I hadn't seen him in ages.

– I don't think that'll change, believe me.

– Oh really? –she asked, playfully. – Anyway, before you went paranoid I was saying I really hated his place. And I've definitely had better martinis. –she affirmed.

– I totally agree. You can blame Marion for the suggestion.

­– Marion! How is she? I haven't spoken to Patrick lately.

– They're fine. Patrick's traveling a lot, for the book and everything.

– Right.

Brooke looked at the window and saw St. Sebastian's building in front of her. – We're going to your work?

Jack giggled. – No. Didn't you say you're homeless and no hotel would take you?

– Yeah, but I'm not sleeping in a hospital. I'm not that desperate. I prefer to sleep in your car. You'd lend me your car, right?

– Of course, but you're not sleeping in it, either.

Jack passed St. Sebastian and kept driving. Six blocks after, they arrived to a nice condo. He pulled over and took a key chain from the glove compartment. Then he took Brooke out of the car and went to the trunk to get her luggage. They went to the fourth floor and Jack used the keys to open the apartment 408.

– Come in. –he asked Brooke.

The apartment was furnished with excellent taste, totally Jack's. – This is where I'm staying, huh? Who lives here? –she questioned.

– Nobody. I used to live here.

Brooke walked in and scanned the apartment. – You miss her?

– What? –Jack asked, confused.

– Your wife. You miss her?

– Why you're asking me that, Brooke?

– I just want to know. It's okay if you miss her, I understand. I guess that's why you keep this place.

Jack stared at Brooke. He still found amazing how shrewd women were. Brooke had definitely sensed that the apartment had a story. It did, it was the apartment where Sarah moved in to when she married Jack, where they spent a little of their marriage and where Jack lived after she divorced him, before the plane crash. Yet he knew Brooke was referring to Kate, the wife she knew about. – She never came here. Never knew about it. I keep it because… as an investment, I guess. It's near the hospital and sometimes I come here to be on my own, get some air…

– Well, it's perfect. Thank you, Jack. –she told him, honesty in her voice. Then she checked with curiosity the main room, the kitchen, the bathrooms. She could feel Jack in every corner and realized there was no sign of a woman in there, so he was telling the truth, she thought.

Jack was watching her get in and out of the rooms. The drapes were open and the moonlight illuminated the place. He realized they hadn't turned any light on. Brooke's features looked beautiful under the moonlight. That made him smile.

– You know? I was thinking… maybe you should stay here every time you come. I don't see the use in paying hotel rooms with this place available. –he said, whilst Brooke sat on the bed.

When she heard that, her eyes glinted and she cast him a big happy smile. – You mean it?

– It's not very cozy, but you'll have everything you need and you can make yourself comfortable. –he told her.

Brooke stood up and approached him. She placed her hands around his neck and caressed the back of it. She looked in his eyes and then kissed him deeply. Jack placed his hands on the low of her back and corresponded. Soon their tongues were entangled and their lips sped up. Brooke could feel his body stiffen, which aroused her even more. Then his hands went from her back to her waist, almost to her hips and then up to her ribs. Brooke broke the kiss when she couldn't hold her breathing anymore. – Why don't you make me comfortable? –she said to his ear, panting.

Jack looked at her beautiful eyes, which read she was eager for more. He kissed her again and for a second he thought of forgetting about everything and just make her his right there. But then he thought twice, when he felt Brooke was trying to unbutton his shirt. He broke the kiss and took her hands in his. – You better get some sleep. –he told her softly.

– I'm not tired. Come on baby, stop rejecting me, I know you want this too. –she begged kissing his neck and making him shiver.

– I'm not rejecting you. But this is not a good time. –he said feebly, his eyes closed.

– Why the hell not? –she asked back, now biting softly his ear.

– Because I'd be taking advantage of you.

– Why? 'Cause you got me into your apartment? –she said to his lips, kissing them softly.

Jack was close to lose his will and get seduced by Brooke, but he made a tremendous effort and put himself together. – No, because you're tired and a little drunk. –he said, holding her tight, immobilizing her.

Brooke felt her blood boil. She felt ashamed and mad at the same time because she was being rejected again. She looked down and felt Jack's hand clearing her hair away from her face to meet her eyes. She wasn't able to look up at him, so she moved aside and walked to the window. – I'm not drunk. But yeah, I'm kind of tired. –she said flatly.

Jack knew she was mad at him, but he really thought he would be taking advantage of her if they had sex at that very moment. He approached her and turned her around to meet her face. – I'll see you tomorrow, okay?

– Okay.

Jack put the keys to the apartment in her hand and kissed her softly on the forehead, then gave her a tiny quick kiss on the lips. – Night, babe.

Then he left the apartment closing the door behind him without looking back, knowing that if he did, he could not resist Brooke anymore.

Before getting in his car he looked at the window and saw her watching him. He waved and smiled sweetly at her. That softened Brooke. She couldn't be mad at him anymore. She waved back and saw him drive away. _Fuck… Why doesn't he want to get in my pants?_ She thought. Then she had another thought. She needed a cold shower and a long sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

2 new chapters, enjoy...

And I still don't know where did we get Mago's name, please tell me somebody.

P.S. Foxy4ever, thanks as always.

**Chapter 27**

The next morning, Brooke woke up in Jack's sheets. Though Jack hadn't slept on that bed for more than 6 months, she could feel his scent all over it. It was a big bed and seeing it half empty made her blue.

As every Saturday in the last 4 weeks, she knew she wouldn't see him before 3:00 pm. Jack had never said a word about it, but Brooke knew he had to watch his kids, spend time with them. She was aware of that, especially after that conversation she had with Ilana about him being a father.

She looked at the window and watched the street. She was trying to locate some mini market or store where she could buy some groceries. She wasn't in the mood for having breakfast alone at some restaurant. _I'll just put this kitchen to work…_ she thought. She put sweat pants, a tank top and a jacket on and went out. It was a quiet street, she had to walk almost 2 blocks to find a store. She bought some coffee, eggs, cheese, bread, milk, juice, ham and muffins. _That'll do it…_

Back in the apartment, Brooke cooked herself a breakfast and ate it watching TV. She thought of calling Ilana, but changed her mind. _She's going to pick on me and ask me zillion questions…_ She did the dishes instead and placed in the fridge what was left of the groceries she bought.

Then she took a quick shower. Once she was out, she wandered the apartment covered in a towel. She noticed the apartment said a lot about Jack's personality. You could tell the place was his, it was totally his style, but you couldn't read anything else. There were no pictures around, all the colors were neutral, there were no plants, no traces of his past, nothing, just some newspapers and medical publications.

That made her think about what happened the night before. She found out she felt really pissed at him. She just couldn't understand why he wouldn't let her in. She had contradictory feelings. On one hand, she knew it was too soon to demand any strong feelings from him towards her or to even trust her fully. On the other, she was frustrated because she knew he was holding himself back in every aspect. Not that she was desperate to just sleep with him, but the fact of being rejected made her mind fly. _Maybe he's not sure about his feelings yet… What the hell, it's just sex, we're not teenagers, what's the big deal?_ She thought.

As she was trying to find a decent explanation to Jack's behavior, she was getting dressed. All of the sudden she noticed she had put on sexy lingerie. Whilst looking at herself in the mirror, an idea came to her. Jack didn't want her, right? _Well, that's for now…_ She'd entice him and arouse him, so when he couldn't resist anymore, she'd reject him. She'd make him plead for sex. _That will be fun_, she thought, still staring at her image.

When she finished getting dressed, it wasn't even noon and she was getting bored. Next time she would bring her laptop, she thought. She grabbed her cell phone and made some calls to kill some time. Then she turned the stereo on and started reading a magazine she bought at the store, along with the groceries. She was laughing at the gossip she was reading when the door bell rang. It should've been Jack, but it was early for him to show, she thought.

She opened the door and saw an old woman, who should've been in her early 60's, at least. She was wearing glasses, her white hair up in a knot, a green dress and an orange sweater. She looked at Brooke with wide and curious eyes. – Good morning, miss. Is Dr. Shephard here?

Brooke was about to answer when the old lady abruptly invited herself in. – Um… no. –she replied, with the door still open and a "What the hell?" look.

­– Oh! I'm so sorry, I'm Mrs. Florence, I'm in charge of the building, the mail, the housekeeping, you know… –Mrs. Florence said, shaking Brooke's hand.

– I'm Brooke.

– Anyway, I heard some noise, and since the doctor is never here, I thought I should check, are you his tenant? He never mentioned he would put the apartment to rent…

Brooke was staring at the woman, dazed by how fast she spoke. – No, I'm not his tenant. He'll be here anytime soon…

– Are you family? –the lady insisted.

– No, I'm not, I'm… with him. –Brooke replied with a short smile.

Mrs. Florence opened her eyes wide. – Oh! How cute! Oh! I'm so glad the doctor finally got himself a girlfriend! He's a very lonely man, and so handsome, I always thought _what_ _a waste_! So, you're going to live here?

Brooke frowned. ­– Um… sort of, I'll stay every time I visit.

– So you're not from the city! Well, we'll love to have you whenever you're here! –Mrs. Florence looked really thrilled with the idea of Jack having a girlfriend. She went on nonstop. – You are so pretty and so young! Good for the doctor! I never saw him with another woman besides his wife! Then they moved out, then he moved back in after… well, you know… then that horrible plane crash happened and he was nowhere to be found, then he came back but he never lived here again, he only comes once in a while...

Brooke was trying to follow the conversation, but there were already a couple of details that didn't suit there. Mrs. Florence kept talking. – Anyway, if there's anything you need, let me know, okay?

– Of course, thank you very much. –Brooke replied, abashed.

Before leaving the apartment, at the door frame, Mrs. Florence gave one last look to Brooke and said: – Oh! I'm so happy for the doctor! It's great that he's finally moving on after all that happened with Sarah.

Brooke frowned again and shook her head. – You mean Kate. –she corrected.

But now Mrs. Florence was the one frowning. – I mean Sarah, her name was Sarah, dear. –she affirmed, looking at her watch. – Oh! I've got to go, nice to meet you and see you around!

With that, Mrs. Florence slammed the door behind her, leaving Brooke in a sea of confusion. Did she just say Sarah? Brooke was positive Jack had told her his wife's name was Kate. And wait a minute, did the lady say _they_ moved out and then _he_ moved back in? Jack had just told her the night before that Kate never knew about the apartment. What the hell was going on? But she didn't want to react before knowing what was all that about, she didn't want to feel like the day she found out Kate was dead. _Maybe they got separated some time…_ she thought. But Sarah? Why did Florence call her Sarah? She couldn't wait to ask Jack. The hours she had to wait for him to arrive were hell for her. She was staring at the window, waiting impatiently for him, when she finally saw his car in the drive-in.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

As Jack pulled over at the condo he felt excited of seeing Brooke. His kids were back home with his mom and Claire, so he had nothing to worry about. He didn't see Brooke leaning out of the window and quickly went into the building. While the elevator got to the 4th floor, he felt content. He knocked on the door and an overwhelmed Brooke opened it.

– Hey! –he greeted, giving her a big hug, and then kissed her deeply on the lips, happy of seeing her.

– Hey. – Brooke replied, flatly.

But Jack was too nonchalant at the moment to notice. – You had a nice sleep? How was your morning? –he asked, looking at the kitchen. It had only been one night and he already could feel Brooke's presence all over the place. He walked to the fridge and opened it.

– Fine, your place's very cozy. I missed you, though, I got bored. –she answered, trying to remain casual.

Jack found her answer very sweet, spontaneous as she was. He walked to her and hugged her. – I missed you too. –then he felt Brooke stiffen and when he looked in her eyes, he noticed something was wrong. – What's the matter with you? –he asked, thinking she might be still mad at him for the night before.

– Uh… nothing. Can I ask you something? –she told him, looking down.

Now Jack was starting to feel nervous. – Sure…

– Your wife… what was her middle name?

Jack looked at her astonished. Yet he knew she was eager for an answer and she wouldn't allow him to change the subject. – Diane… why you want to know? –he immediately asked back.

Brooke was getting more anxious. – Diane, huh?

­– Brooke, what's going on? –asked Jack, concerned.

– I just met Mrs. Florence. She came over… anyway, she kind of… well, her mouth ran out a little too much, I guess… She referred to your wife as Sarah… I thought she was mistaking at first, but then she assured me her name was Sarah. –she said, looking frontally to Jack, waiting for an explanation.

Jack froze and went pale. _Damn_ _Mrs. Florence, always a snoop_, he thought. – Well, she's right. –he replied.

Brooke was close to lose it. She didn't understand a shit and thought it was a very bad moment for him to be metaphoric. – What you mean she's right?

Jack took a deep breath and sat on the couch, defeated, leaving her standing up. – Sarah was… my first wife. –he said, hesitant, rubbing his forehead, looking down.

Brooke was burning inside. _His first wife? He had _another_ wife? Good Lord!_ She didn't know how to react. Jack remained silent, hopping she wouldn't ask anything else. – You had another wife? How come you never mentioned it before? –she asked, amazed and somehow upset.

Jack took a deep breath. – Well Brooke, I… I guess there's still a lot to learn about each other.

Brooke nodded, knowing he was right. It was time to learn about Sarah, then. – What happened to her? –she asked, determined.

– She dumped me.

Brooke couldn't believe her ears. How could someone dump Jack? What kind of woman would do that? But then it came to her: maybe he did something wrong. That thought was even worse. She sat on the couch near Jack, seeking for his eyes. – Why? –she asked softly.

Jack thought for a moment. Now Sarah was just a vague ghost in his mind. He realized talking about her didn't hurt anymore. It seemed like their story together had happened millenniums ago. – Um… I didn't pay enough attention to her, so she found someone else…

Brooke just couldn't believe what she was hearing. – Why you didn't pay attention to her? You didn't love her?

Jack looked at Brooke and cast a wry smile. – Of course I loved her… very much. I just never proved it the way she needed.

– Why? ­–she asked.

– Uh… well, at that time I thought other things were more important. _Like competing with my father_. I was a workaholic and she hated it. We were never around each other and later on we were not talking anymore. By the time I realized our marriage was wrong and decided to do something about it, she left me. –he said, calm in his voice.

Brooke immediately felt sympathy for him. She knew exactly what it felt like. When she got promoted, Ryan complained all the time about her not giving him enough time. Then he cheated on her. She just couldn't get why people didn't understand how demanding a job could be. – I see… –she said, softly. – Then you found Kate… –she continued, finding a right moment to bring the _other_ wife out.

When Jack heard Kate's name coming out from Brooke's mouth, he got tense. He refused to talk about her, he thought there was no use. It was a waste of time. Yet he knew Brooke was trying to find out about his past. He came out with a short answer. – And now I've found you. –he affirmed.

With that, Brooke knew he was shutting himself down again on his late wife's topic. It sure was tough for him to talk about her, she thought, and she didn't want to push him. His answer made clear to her that he was willing to move on. – Right… Anyway, Mrs. Florence seemed really happy for you. –she said, trying to lighten things up.

­­– Oh really? That woman, she's always sneaking around.

Brooke gave him a long look. – Yeah… Jack, I don't want to learn about your past by coincidence. It's not cool… In fact, it's very shocking. You should tell me all these things… –she said, somehow concerned.

Jack nodded, knowing what she meant. – I know. And I will, I promise. If there's anything you want to know, just ask me, okay? –he replied, but his look said otherwise, there were things that he would never tell her.

She knew he wasn't being completely honest, but she gave it a rest. – Fine. –she retorted, caressing his cheek. Then she gave him a sweet kiss. Jack soon deepened it and Brooke remembered the little quest she put forward to herself early in the morning, getting dressed in front of the mirror. Her cell phone rang just in time.

She broke the kiss and smiled playfully at Jack, as she noticed his frustration for the interruption. She got up and ran to the bedroom to pick up. She screened the call and answered right away.

– Hello? Terry! Hey! When did you get home?

When he heard her so excited, he soon joined her in the bedroom, pretending to look for something. Brooke continued speaking, nonchalant. – Yeah… mom complained because you were not home for Thanksgiving… How's dad? Uh-huh… Right… No, I'm in L.A.…I know, I know… Yeah, we'll talk about it when I get home, okay? Okay, take care. Love you, bye! –she hung up.

By that moment, Jack was staring at her from the door frame, intrigued. – That was your brother Terry or some other Terry you love? –he asked smiling.

Brooke burst into laughter. – My brother.

– Your dad's okay? –he asked.

Brooke realized he had been listening. – Oh, yeah, I just asked because I haven't talked to him since Thursday.

– You seem pretty close, your family… –he said, somehow longing.

– Yeah, we're really close. We all live in New York, I guess that helps. You find it weird?

– No, why should I?

– Some people find it weird. That's sad, huh?

Jack didn't find weird that Brooke and her family were so close. He found it amazing. He was watching her carefully while she was talking to her brother. The tone of her voice, the glint in her eyes, her smile, showed him the love and devotion she had for Terry.

He thought of his own family. As a child, he never had a brother or sister to share with, only Marc Silverman and some other friends. – Your parents get along? –he asked.

– Yeah, most of the time. They have days when they hate each other's guts, of course, but they've been married for almost 30 years.

His parents never got along. As far as he could remember, they were always fighting about his dad drinking, working late or even disappearing. Later on, they always argued using him as an excuse, his father attacking him and his mother defending him, just to bother each other. The thought of his father saddened him. – Your dad… you get along with him?

– Absolutely. He's my best friend, the greatest man I've ever met so far. –she replied as the glint in her eyes grew.

– He never wanted you to be a lawyer?

– Of course he did. –she said, giggling. – When I graduated from high school, he desperately tried to convince me of going to law school after college. He even promised me a brand new car and my dream trip to Europe, can you believe it? –she asked, a wide smile on her face.

– What did you do to get away with it?

– Well, I took the trip and when I came back, I just told him I didn't want to be a lawyer.

– And he accepted just like that? –Jack asked in disbelief.

Brooke looked at him, raising an eyebrow. – Um, yeah. It's not like he was going to make me, right?

After hearing that, he smiled wryly and looked down, remembering ironically how his father _did_ make him become a doctor. – Of course he wasn't, but I mean, how he dealt with the disappointment?

– Um, well, I don't think he felt _that_ disappointed. He saw I was really into journalism and he always knew I was good at writing. Then Terry decided to be a lawyer by his own will. That made it up for him, I guess.

Jack was overwhelmed by the picture he made of Brooke's family in his mind. It seemed so perfect… Then he realized families were supposed to be like that. The family he made with Kate used to be like that, all the opposite of the one he grew up in. He knew he would never make his kids become something they didn't want, like Brooke's dad. His line of thought went short when Brooke spoke.

– How about your dad? –she ventured, knowing from her days of Oceanic Flight 815 fan-from-hell that he died before the plane crash.

Jack frowned. – He passed away 10 years ago. –he replied, shortly.

Brooke looked at him tenderly. – I'm sorry.

– Yeah… me too. –and when he sensed Brooke was about to ask him if he got along with his father, he said: – He did make me become a doctor, but I don't regret it now.

– Good for you. I don't see you being something else. –she assured him.

He just smiled at that statement and saw a chance to change the conversation. – So, you want to go out?

– God, yes! I never spend so much time in the same place.

They left the apartment. Outside, it was a little windy and the sun shined above them. The road was covered with brown and golden leaves that kept falling from the trees. It was a beautiful Fall day. They decided to take a walk to the park down the street. Brooke immediately reached for Jack's hand as they walked, all naturally. He held her hand and it just felt right.

As they were walking, she decided to ask him what she wanted to know about him, as he suggested before. Her questions kind of worried him. He kept praying inside for her not to ask about things he was not willing to say. But for the moment she just focused on basics, so she learnt his birthday was the 23rd of June, his favorite color was red and he always had latte in the mornings. He told her about Marc Silverman, his all time friend, who now lived in San Francisco. Then she told him her birthday was on March the 6th. Soon they began talking about how old they were. They were already at the park by the moment.

– I'll turn 28, and you? –she said nonchalant.

That worried Jack somehow. – Man, you're so young! If I tell you my age, I'm afraid you'll run away from me.

– Oh, come on! You can't be that old. –she replied, mischievously.

– I am, believe me.

– Come on, tell me.

– I'll turn 40. –he said kind of ashamed, believing he was actually too old for her.

– Really? Well, you know, they say life starts at 40… –she said, smiling openly at him, hoping he actually believed that statement and wanted to start over with her.

Jack looked at her for a second and smiled, hoping it was true. Then he looked away, 'cause the truth was he felt like and 80 year old after all he had been through. – Yeah, they sure say that, but isn't it an issue? –he asked, concerned.

– What? The fact there's a difference of 12 years between us? –she asked back and Jack nodded. – No, I don't think age is an issue, not when people have so much in common and want the same things. –she replied. Then she thought for a second. – Unless you think I'm immature or something… –she corrected, frowning.

Jack stopped walking for a minute and held her close to him. Looking deeply in her eyes he affirmed: – You're not immature. I think you're the smartest and most driven woman I've ever been with.

Brooke smiled when he said that. Jack loved her smile. It truly showed the happy girl she was. Then he couldn't help but kiss her, cupping her face with his hands. When the kiss started deepening, a little spaniel dog came from nowhere and got entangled between their legs. Brooke couldn't help but laugh, knowing it had pissed Jack, giving her another point in the score of her master plan. ­– Hey! ­­–she said to the dog, high pitched and laughing, whilst caressing it.

The dog seemed to know her forever and kept moving its tail, playing with her. Jack had no choice but to let her go, so she could squat and pay attention to her new little friend. Then a boy around 10 years old arrived running, panting. – Marley! Stop bugging the lady!

– Oh, it's not bugging me. –she said smiling.

– I thought it had run away again, thanks for grabbing it.

– No problem. What's your name?

– Kevin.

– Nice to meet you Kevin, I'm Brooke. –she said to the boy smiling, still playing with the dog.

– He really likes you. –Kevin told her.

– Oh, I like him too, he's the cutest little thing.

Jack was witnessing the scene with a smile on his lips. Brooke seemed to be both a kid and a dog person. He couldn't help but picture her with his own boy, but suddenly he thought it was too soon for that. He was trying to figure out what he felt inside watching Brooke chatting with Kevin. He couldn't come to an answer, but so far he knew she had the quality of making him feel everything was alright. What he didn't know was that he was already falling in love with her.


	29. Chapter 29

Hi there! 2 new loooong chapters...

Please people, give me some reviews, I beg of you, say something, feedback is important for writers :P

**Chapter 29**

– You're not serious, are you? There's no way you won't be at the Halloween party! –Ilana said, upset.

– What's the big deal? All the girls are going to be there anyway. –Brooke replied, concerned.

– Exactly, we'll all be there but you. You never miss it! It's like the official reunion of the year!

– Oh come on!

– You know it is! No matter what, everybody makes some time and goes. Why you're not coming?

– Well, it's Saturday and… –Brooke managed, hesitating.

– Yeah, it's Saturday, so what?

– You know what I do on Saturdays. –she replied, looking down, uncomfortable.

Ilana couldn't believe it. – Yeah, I know, that's why I don't get it. Not going to L.A. for a single weekend will kill you?

– No, it's not going to kill me but…

Ilana interrupted. – Then stay! Tell him you can't see him this Saturday, period. In fact, why don't you tell him to come? Then the girls can meet him, I can say hello, get to know him better…

Now Brooke cut her off, uneasiness growing more inside her. – It's not that simple. It's not so easy for him to travel.

Ilana looked at her astonished. – What's difficult about taking a plane and get here?

– Well, you know, he's a dad. He can't just take a plane and leave his children home.

– But you told me his mom helps him with that, didn't you? Besides, he doesn't have to, he can bring them and we can find a babysitter just for Saturday night.

Ilana had Brooke against the wall. – Uh… okay, I'll tell him, but to be honest with you, I don't think it's going to happen. –Brooke replied, not looking at her friend.

Ilana's concern grew more. Ever since Brooke was dating Jack, she had barely seen her or even talked to her. She lived to make time to fly every weekend to L.A. Ilana just couldn't get why Jack couldn't visit Brooke once in a while, and that worried her. – Or just tell me you don't want to come. –she snapped.

– How can you even say that? You know it's not like that! –Brooke retorted, close to lose her temper.

– I say it because that's what it looks like, Brooke. I just want to know if it's going to be like this.

– What you mean?

– I'm talking about your relationship with Jack. Since you're with him we don't see you anymore. It's okay if you just want to hang with his friends and family, but at least let me know.

Brooke rubbed her eyes and stood up from her armchair, finally losing it. She raised her voice. ­– You know what? I'm sick of this. You're supposed to be happy for me and you keep questioning everything I do instead. What's your problem? Can't you understand that I'm in love and I just want to spend as much time as possible with him?

Ilana opened her eyes wide in disbelief. – I don't have any problem Brooke, and I'm really happy for you, you know it. I'm just trying to understand why you're not being yourself.

Brooke frowned and gave her an abashed look. ­­– Why you say I'm not being myself?

– Because you aren't. I know you're deeply in love with him, and that's exactly why I don't get why you're holding yourself back. –Brooke kept looking at her and listening, waiting for her to make a point, so she went on. – I just think you're working so hard for this relationship and I'm not sure if it's paying off. It's like you're always so afraid to lose him…

– Oh, you just say that because I'm the one who comes and goes instead of him! Well, I'm sorry, but as far as I can remember, _you_ were the one who told me that I'd have to give some things up because he has other priorities. –Brooke snapped, annoyed.

– I did, and that's not what I'm talking about. I mean it Brooke. Just think about it for a second, okay? The man gives you an apartment and you can't tell him to come to a stupid party?

– I've told you a zillion times that he didn't _give me _an apartment! God!

– Whatever, you know what I mean.

– Actually, I don't. –Brooke replied, giving her a burning gaze.

Ilana sighed deeply. – Sweetie, listen to me. I'm not fighting with you, I'm on your team. I don't know Jack. I've only seen him once. All I know about him is what you've told me. Yet I don't think he's the dominant type. That's why I don't understand why you keep acting like you had to please him all the time. I'm sure you've never even told him to come and I want to know why.

Brooke froze. It was true. So far, she hadn't even mentioned to him the possibility of meeting her parents, brother and friends. – I just think it's too soon for that. I don't want to upset him and…

Ilana cut her off again. – That's exactly what I mean! You don't want to upset him. You _live_ to _not_ upset him. Why you think you'd upset him in the first place? –she asked.

– It's just… I've noticed it's hard for him to talk about his past…

– But this is not about his past, it's about his present. –she affirmed, but Brooke raised an eyebrow, confused. Ilana continued. – He's got you, so, I assume he's moving on. Being part of each other's life kind of closes the deal, don't you think?

Brooke sighed and nodded. Now she had a headache. ­– I know. And I don't live to not upset him. I just think time will settle things down for us. Please Ilana, don't push me. I understand your concern, but you need to know that I know what I'm doing. Yes, sometimes it's tough to be traveling every single weekend and I miss you guys too, but I just need you to be patient. We'll get to that and I promise he'll be coming home with me before you get to bug me again.

Ilana gave her a long look and then nodded. – Okay. I just want you to be fine.

– I am fine. I'm really happy Ilana. I love him. I love him so much sometimes I feel I don't have enough room in my chest.

– I know, but him? Have you told him what you feel?

– No, not yet.

– Why?

– I've just told you it's a matter of time. I don't want to freak him out.

– And why on Earth telling him you love him will freak him out? See? You're afraid of speaking your mind, why's that? You fear he won't respond the way you expect?

– I'm not afraid of anything. I just need some freaking time, that's all! –Brooke replied, desperate.

– Fine. –Ilana retorted, defeated. As she walked to the door to leave Brooke's office, she stopped her.

– Ilana, wait. –She turned around to face Brooke. – Please don't be mad at me. I really appreciate your concern. I get it. You just want me to be happy. And all I'm saying is I'm very happy right now. I'm not planning on escaping every Friday to L.A. for the rest of my life. You're not losing me, believe me. –Brooke said, casting a short smile.

– Okay.

Ilana left Brooke's office and she sat on her armchair again, her face on her hands.

Back in L.A., Jack was finishing with some paper work when Patrick stepped in.

– Jack?

– Patrick…

– How did the Smith surgery go?

– Good. I'm discharging him tomorrow.

– So you have nothing for the weekend, right?

Jack thought for a second, still looking at the charts. – Uh, right.

– Great, is Brooke coming? 'Cause Marion booked this amazing cabin and we're having the wildest Halloween ever, you've got to come, both of you, and you can bring the kids, so there's no excuse.

Jack frowned. He still thought it wasn't the time for the kids to be around Brooke, let alone taking them to a party with his friends altogether. – Um, I don't know Patrick, uh… I think we have other plans. –he lied, trying to evade Patrick's insistence, which he knew was coming.

– Really? Are you going to the Official Halloween Party then? –Patrick asked with a huge smile, not believing his ears.

Jack had no idea of what was he talking about, but found a great excuse to turn him down. – Well, you know, I'm thinking about it.

– What's to think about? You'll have one hell of a time. You'll get to meet her friends and since you're going to be in town, you can also meet her family.

– How you know about that? –Jack asked curious, not paying attention to what Patrick just said. So far, Brooke hadn't mentioned anything about a party.

– Well, Brooke and her girl friends throw that party since college. That's how I met her family back then. I guess this year is no exception. Brooke's great at throwing parties, you know?

But Jack didn't know. There was still a lot he didn't know about Brooke and that annoyed him somehow. The fact that Patrick knew more about her than him kind of made him jealous. – Of course I know, I just haven't attended any of her parties to confirm it yet. –he replied flatly.

– Well man, I guess some other time. But please, you tell Marion, 'cause she's been bitching about how essential is that you guys come to the cabin.

– Okay.

When Jack was done with his paper work, he left the hospital and went home, where Jackie and Brett were playing in the studio. Jackie had turned Jack's desk into a massive mess, since she was using watercolors to paint a huge drawing she had made. Brett was playing with his Legos, whilst Jackie yelled at him for not staying still.

– Why do I have to stay still? I want to go out! –a terribly pissed Brett snapped to his sister.

– Because I'm painting you! You want to look ugly in my painting? Come on, I'm almost done!

– What you're painting anyway?

– My version of the Last Supper, only this is a First Supper.

– What's that?

– Never mind. But it has to be finished for Halloween.

– Why? –asked Brett.

– 'Cause mommy told me we'll meet Brooke soon and I want to show it to her.

– Who's Brooke?

– Daddy's girlfriend.

Brett opened his eyes wide, amazed. – Daddy has a girlfriend?

– Yep.

Then Brett frowned and shook his head. – I don't believe you. If daddy had a girlfriend he'd tell us.

– He hasn't told us because he's scared. Mommy told me.

– Aaron says you're crazy 'cause you say mommy tells you things. He says death people can't talk to the living.

– He's lying! I'm not crazy, mommy talks to me in my dreams! –Jackie affirmed, furious.

Brett thought for a second and then asked. – Why mommy doesn't talk to me? Is she mad at me?

– No Brett, she's not mad at you. She doesn't talk to you because you don't understand what she's got to say.

– I'm not dumb! I understand things…

– I know you're not dumb, you're just too young.

– You're young too! Aaron's the biggest.

– Yeah! But mommy has nothing to say to Aaron!

– I want to talk to mommy. –Brett said with sadness in his eyes.

Jackie also felt sad at her brother's claim. In spite of being so young, they missed their mother so much. But Jackie knew she had to comfort her brother and be a big girl. – I know, but you can't. That's why Brooke's going to be your new mommy. You can talk to her instead. She's very pretty and mommy says she's very sweet.

– But when is she coming home?

– Soon, we just have to wait. –Jackie assured with a smile. Then she heard her daddy's car in the drive-in. – Daddy's home! You can't tell him about the painting, it's a surprise, remember?

­– Okay.

Jackie ran to hide her painting kit along with her drawing. Brett just stayed on the floor, still playing with his Legos. After saying hello to Margo and Claire, who were in the front door, and watching a speedy Jackie running upstairs, Jack walked in. He saw Brett on the floor and squatted to meet his eyes.

– Hi buddy, what you're building? –Jack asked his son, giving him a sweet kiss on the head.

– A freeway. –Brett replied, not looking at him.

Then Jack noticed the mess on his desk. – Your sister was here, right?

– Maybe.

Jack smiled at Brett's answer. He was in love with his little son. He was one witty boy, but he was sort of quiet. There were days when Brett would rather play by his own than with Aaron, who he followed a lot. Jack thought maybe Brett was shy because he lost his mom too early in life. He couldn't help but remember himself as a child when he saw his own boy. Therefore, since he was born, Jack promised to himself he would never let him down and would be his best friend. Not like his father did with him.

Brett always listened to his sister. Jack was thankful of Brett and Jackie getting along. That way, his kids would always have each other to count on. He was thinking of that when Brett suddenly stood up and reached for him. – Daddy, can I meet your girlfriend? –he pleaded, whilst holding his dad. Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing. He moved his son aside and sought for his eyes. – What?

– I want to meet her.

– Did your sister tell you to say this to me?

– No. She just said you have a girlfriend who's pretty and sweet and that we'll meet her soon.

Jack ran out of words. This time, Jackie had gone too far with her wild fantasies. He couldn't believe how his daughter could make up all those stories in her mind by just having seen Brooke once for less than 5 minutes. But at that moment he had to deal with Brett. – I don't have a girlfriend Brett. That's why you can't meet her. But if I ever get one, I'll let you know, okay? –he lied.

– Okay. Can I go to Aaron's? Aunt Claire's walking me.

– Sure, just be careful and listen to your auntie, okay?

Brett kissed his dad's cheek goodbye and left the studio. Jack stood on his feet again and rubbed his forehead, concerned. Jackie arrived just in time.

– Hi daddy! –but when she reached for her dad to hold her, an upset Jack gave her a reproachful look.

– Hi you back.

Jackie knew that look. It was the one she got when she had done something wrong. – Daddy, are you mad at me? –she asked, nervous.

– Do I have reasons to be mad at you?

– I'll clean your desk, I promise. I just didn't have time.

– I don't care about the desk. –Jackie kept silent and stared at her dad with her huge green eyes, waiting for his words. – Why did you tell Brett I have a girlfriend?

– Because you do. –Jackie retorted, determined.

– Don't you remember what I told you when you asked me that before?

Jackie nodded. – I do.

– So? Now you come with these stories about meeting her. Why you do that?

– Because it's true. When I first asked you she wasn't your girlfriend yet, but now she is.

Jack was starting to lose his patience. – _She_? Who is she?

– Brooke.

At that moment, Jack didn't know what bothered him the most, Jackie being so shrewd or himself lying to his daughter. – Honey, I told you before that lady's one of my patients.

Jackie's look hardened. – You're lying.

Jack couldn't believe how stubborn his daughter was, though she'd got it from both him and her mother. – Oh really? Says who?

– Mommy.

He couldn't stand it anymore. In spite of all his efforts, all the talking, the therapy, the attention, he couldn't stop Jackie from saying she talked with her mom. At first it worried him, but right that minute, it just enraged him. Now he was yelling at her. – Stop saying that! You know your mom can't say anything to you!

– But she does! Why don't you believe me? –Jackie retorted, her eyes watering.

– Because she's dead!

Jackie's eyes were burning, now with tears. – I know she's dead, but she talks to me in my dreams! –she yelled back at her dad, her voice breaking.

– Precisely Jacqueline! Those are just dreams! Now listen to me, you're not allowed to keep saying or thinking they're true, neither to fill your brother's head with them! Is that clear?!

Jackie couldn't take it anymore and burst into tears. ­­– Fine! –then she walked away wiping her eyes, leaving her dad standing behind her.

He was leaning against the desk, rubbing his eyes, when Margo appeared in the studio's door frame. Jack raised his eyes and saw his mother giving him a reproachful look, which read what he already knew: that he was indeed lying to his son and daughter, and that the scolding he gave Jackie had been totally an outburst. Margo was about to speak when Jack cut her off with a burning gaze. – Don't mom, just don't. –and he walked away from her.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

At night, after hours of Jack's outburst at the studio, Jackie still refused to leave her bedroom, in spite of Margo's insistence. Jack was feeling like shit. Now he felt terribly guilty for yelling and lying to his daughter like that.

But still he wasn't able to admit to his family that he had a girlfriend who was indeed Brooke, the woman the kids and Claire saw at his office. He was full of doubts. He had never spoken to her about that. He knew Brooke was sweet and he was positive she was a kid person after he saw her talking to that boy at the park, but did she want to be around his children and bring them up along with him? That was a different story.

On the other hand, he thought introducing Brooke to his family would take the relationship to a whole new level. They would be more attached and committed. He kept thinking not only that it was premature, but also that he wasn't ready for it or even sure about Brooke. Right then things were perfect, just him, Brooke and their idyllic weekends.

Tuesday was almost over and, along with the weekend, Halloween was around the corner. He was dwelling on it when his cell phone rang. It was Brooke.

– Hi baby, how you're doing? –she said with her husky voice.

– Hey… Fine, and you?

Yet Brooke noticed he was upset. – You had a rough day sweetie?

The minute he heard that, he started to feel better. There were times he swore Brooke could read his mind. – Yeah, sort of… but I'm okay, don't worry. How about you?

– Well, I kind of had a tough day too, but anyway, um, Patrick left me a voice mail about going to some cabin this weekend, did he tell you something?

Jack remembered then about the whole weekend thing, the cabin, Brooke's party… – Uh, yeah, Marion's throwing a party I think.

– So, are we going?

He went silent. He didn't want to go. – Um, you know what? I really don't know, I… haven't thought about it.

Brooke started to feel nervous as she spoke. – Right… so, how about we think of it now, huh? –she said.

– Why?

– Because, uh, if you don't want to go with them, I kind of have another idea…

He found that comment suggesting. – Really? What's that idea?

– I, um… There's this Halloween party my friends and I throw every year, so, I was thinking you might want to come, you know, in case we don't go to the cabin… –Brooke said, hesitant.

Jack went uneasy. He knew what her suggestion implied: go meet her home, her family and friends. – You throw a party? And you dress up and everything? –he asked amused, trying to digress the conversation.

Brooke giggled. – Well, yeah, it's a Halloween party after all. You have to dress up.

– You didn't tell me you're organizing a party…

– Actually I'm not. This year was Claudia's duty…

– Right.

– So, what you think?

There it was. He had to tell her he was turning her down. How was he going to explain to her the reason? – It'd be lovely, but Marion will kick my ass if we don't go to the cabin. –he lied.

On the other side of the line, Brooke smiled. That meant they were going to the cabin with his friends and, yes, maybe his kids too. – Then we have to go. –she replied mischievously.

At that very moment Jack tensed up, 'cause he knew he was openly lying to her. He wasn't going to New York, neither to the cabin. – But, you know, if you want to stay for your party… –he said, but thinking about not seeing her the whole weekend crushed him. He wanted to see her, he needed to hold her in his arms, so he regretted what he had said almost immediately.

– No! –she retorted. Of course I want to go to the cabin…

It was too late to fix the mistake. Now Jack had to stick to his version. – Good, so we'll go.

– Awesome! –she replied excited. – I can't wait.

Jack started to feel guilty and worried at the same time. _Now I have to get out of this_, he thought.  
– Yeah…

– Okay baby, I've got to go. Have a nice sleep and dream of me okay?

– That will be easy. –he affirmed.

There was a wide smile on Brooke's face after she heard that. She wanted to say it right that moment._ Just say it, I love you…_ But she stifled her words. The first time she said she loved him, she wanted to be looking in his eyes. – I'll dream of you too, night baby.

– Night.

Brooke hung up and Jack sighed. Now he had to figure out how to get away with the whole situation.

Friday arrived again. Jack, Margo and the kids were having breakfast. Since Halloween was until the next day, the kids were having their own party at school, so they were in costumes. Brett was a mini Batman and Jackie chose to be a fairy.

She had been very quiet since her dad scolded her, which only made Jack feel worse. Margo tried to act as if nothing happened, but she was actually mad at him too.

He finished his breakfast and rushed upstairs to brush his teeth. When he was grabbing his keys and cell phone, Margo announced with her polite smile: – Claire's driving the kids. You have a little more time, dear.

That disconcerted him. He always drove the kids. He thought it might be some sort of pay back for his behavior. The horn of Claire's SUV cut his thoughts off. Brett rushed to his dad and kissed him goodbye. Jackie just took her school bag and was about to leave without her so called "morning kiss", for Jack's astonishment. But Margo ordered her: – Jackie, say goodbye to your dad.

She gave her grandma a stern look, but then nodded. Jack was leaning on the kitchen's bar, his eyes open wide in disbelief. Jackie walked to him and stepped in front of him, looking up. Jack squatted and looked at her longingly. Jackie looked deeply at her dad with those intense green eyes. Then she gave him one little kiss on the cheek, without saying a word. – Bye sweetie, have fun okay? –Jack told her, his voice almost breaking. Then Jackie looked in his eyes again and patted his head with her wand, which he found very amusing. After that, she walked away from him.

– Hey, what was that about? –Jack asked his daughter.

She stopped on her rush to the door and turned back to face him. She gave him a set look and then replied: ­– I put a spell on you. –and finally she left for school.

Once the kids were gone, Jack went right to his mother. – Why is Claire driving the kids? I always do that…

Margo turned to him with a nonchalant look. – She just wanted to take pictures of them in their costumes.

– Right.

– So, what are your plans for this weekend dear? –Margo asked.

Jack hesitated. ­­­– Um, the usual.

– The usual? –she asked back, raising an eyebrow.

Jack stared at her, confused. – Yeah, I mean, nothing in particular.

Margo sighed and gave her son a set look. – Jack, I'm going to ask you something and I'll just ask it once, so I want you to think about it before you answer.

He swallowed and nodded. – Are you seeing a woman? –she asked openly.

Jack rolled his eyes and placed his hand on his waist. – Why does everybody keep asking me that? What's this obsession all about?

­– It's not an obsession. It's just a simple question.

– What makes you think I'm seeing a woman, mom? –he asked back to avoid answering to her.

– Well dear, you know they say love and money are the only things you can not hide. And you've been disappearing for hours on weekends with no apparent reason. But, above all these, I think you're seeing someone because it terribly annoys you when you're asked about it.

Jack's face went blank. – I don't disappear for hours. I've been busy at the hospital mom, that's all. And the reason this annoys me is because it seems I'm not entitled to have my own privacy.

– Of course you are entitled to your privacy, Jack. But we, as a family, are also entitled to know what's going on with you, so I'll ask you one more time. Are you seeing someone?

Jack's look hardened. – No mom, I'm not.

Margo wasn't surprised of her son's reply, though she knew he wasn't telling the truth. Jack had always been stubborn. She smiled softly to him and said: ­­– Fine dear.

He nodded and then put his jacket on to leave. When he was opening the door, Margo spoke from behind him. – I just hope you're denying it because you're not sure of where things are going yet, and not because you're ashamed of us or _her_.

Jack turned around furious to tell her she was absolutely wrong, but he thought twice. – This is absurd. I don't have to explain myself to you. –then he left slamming the door behind him.

At the hospital, all the crew resented his bad mood. He yelled at interns and residents the whole day, remarking sternly their mistakes. Even the nurses, who claimed to be his official fan club, were praying for him to go home at 5:00 pm sharp. For their relieve, he did.

Back home, he lightened up somehow when he found his kids still dressed up. Brett was convinced his costume gave him real superpowers and happily told his dad everything about the Halloween party at school.

The evening arrived and later on the family had dinner quietly. He put the kids to bed as always. Jackie was still cold with him, but he was so fed up with it, he just kissed her goodnight without dwelling on it. At last it was time to pick up Brooke. He left the house without saying a word to Margo.

As he drove to the airport, he felt uneasy. How was he going to tell Brooke they were not going to the cabin? Once he got there, he pulled over and waited for her in the car. The minute he saw her walking out from the gate, all the clouds in his head cleared. The image of her approaching to the car with her charming smile, her beautiful body and her black hair waving with the wind filled him with unexplainable joy.

– Hi baby! –she said, whilst she rushed to his arms to embrace him. He held her tight in his arms and it felt so good, he felt overwhelmed. His mother had no idea. There was no way he could be ashamed of Brooke. That wasn't what it was about.

– Hey… I missed you. –he said, and then kissed her passionately.

– I missed you too baby. –she replied after breaking the kiss. – I'm starving! The plane food looked awful and I didn't take it. I could eat you whole right now. –she affirmed, smiling impishly.

– Then I'll buy you dinner. –he replied with a sweet smile.

Brooke had a whim to eat a huge cheese burger with fries. While eating, Brooke told him what happened at work over the week. She also told him Terry was upset 'cause things were kind of shaky between him and his girlfriend, Jo. That worried her somehow. She used to like Jo, she said, but with time she had changed. She even suspected Jo was cheating on Terry. Jack advised her to stay out of it and just support her brother. Later on they were talking of irrelevant things. He forgot about his bad mood. Brooke always made him laugh within a second.

When they were done, he drove her to the apartment. Once at the condo, they went up.

– You brought more bags this time. –he said after getting her luggage inside the apartment.

– I know! I just wanted to be prepared. Besides, I got you a costume.

Then Jack remembered the whole cabin-Halloween party thing. – I'm not wearing a costume. –he affirmed, smiling shortly at her, looking down.

– Oh, come on! It's a Halloween party! You have to wear one. I'm wearing one too. –she replied, leaning on his chest and kissing him softly on the lips.

Soon Jack placed his hands on the small of her back and deepened the kiss. He took her to the couch and before she could think about it, he was leaning on her, caressing her thighs. Still kissing him, Brooke smiled 'cause she hadn't forgotten the little quest she had about making him plead for sex. When she sensed he was about to venture under her top, she broke the kiss. – So, baby, at what time are we leaving tomorrow?

­– What? –Jack asked, dazed.

– To the cabin.

– I, um, I don't know, why? –he replied frustrated, moving aside from her.

_This is so funny_. – To be ready, you know.

With that, Jack came back to reality and knew it was time to tell her they were not going. But when he saw the glint in her eyes and her childish smile, he just couldn't. – Um, it's about an hour and a half from here, maybe more, so, I guess around 3:00.

Brooke stood up from de couch and went to the kitchen to get in the fridge some things she had brought. – Are Jackie and Brett coming? –she asked openly.

When he heard his children's names coming out from her mouth, he felt nervous. – No. ­–he snapped.

Brooke looked at him disappointed. She was really looking forward to meet them again. – Oh… –she replied, looking down.

Jack noticed. – It's better if they stay, you know. That way we can have some time for us, have fun…

Brooke felt relieved. For a moment she thought he didn't want to bring them because he didn't want her around them. – Okay. But aren't you taking them trick or treating then? –she asked raising an eyebrow. Jack didn't know what to say. She went on. – How about this? We can leave later, around 6:00? So you can spend some time with them.

Jack felt his chest constrict with guilt. She was so considerate. She even had all figured out. Then what was the problem with him? He couldn't come to an answer. – That sounds great. –he said.

­– Cool. –Then she went to the living room and looked for something in her purse. – Here, I made a copy. ­–she said, whilst handing him the keys to the apartment.

He looked at her confused. – Why you did that?

– 'Cause it's your apartment. You must be able to walk in any time you want without knocking, don't you think? –she replied smiling.

– Okay… Well, it's time to go, I guess. I'll call you in the morning.

– Fine. Night baby. –she said, kissing him again.

– Night sweetheart, have a nice sleep. –he said after kissing her back.

He left the apartment and while he was driving home, a mix of sensations crossed his mind. _What the hell? I'll just take her to the cabin. It's no big deal. I'll ask my mom to watch the kids and tell her I'm going to the party with my friends_. He thought.


	31. Chapter 31

Okay, if I don't get any reactions with this chapter, I'll shoot myself... :p

**Chapter 31**

The next morning, Brooke woke up late, but excited. She couldn't wait for 6:00 O'clock. Finally, they were going to a party with his friends like an official couple. She had breakfast quickly and left the apartment to go shopping.

She grabbed a cab and asked the driver to take her to the nearest supermarket. As she watched the street she couldn't help but feel happy. Halloween was in the air and girls and boys of all ages were carrying pumpkins to their yards. Over the street, families were decorating their houses.

Once at the supermarket, she picked some things to make herself feel like home. Though she didn't want to admit it, she felt a little blue 'cause she was missing her traditional party. Yet she tried to stay positive. This time was her turn, but there would be many other events they would share, and then it would be Jack's turn to go with her, she thought.

She filled her cart with Halloween decorations, candles and candies. She got some treats to take to the cabin and give them to Patrick, Marion, Derek, Varya and Hurley, the people she knew and was sure would be there. Then she got some flowers and a little pumpkin to decorate. Before leaving she looked for a photo frame. She didn't quite like the ones available, but since she really needed it, she picked one anyway, thinking she would buy another back home. It was already noon. Jack hadn't called her, but she didn't freak out. She wasn't the apprehensive type.

Back in the apartment, she made herself a sandwich, which she ate whilst decorating the place. Carefully, almost with devotion, she prepared the pumpkin. After emptying the stuffing, she draw eyes and a toothie smile on it, then she cut them and placed a candle in it. With the remains she made a pie. Yes, Brooke could cook and she did it great. Her mom, Vivian, was French, so all women in her family were used to the kitchen.

Before she could notice, the day flew. She felt like a little girl when she saw it was time to get dressed up. From one of her cases she took out the costume she had chosen for Jack. He'd be the Phantom of the Opera, since he wasn't that much into costumes, so he'd just have to wear a cape and a mask. She paged him and only asked him to wear a black suit.

She would be Cat Woman. She took a nice long shower. When she was done she sat on the bed, a towel covering her body and hair. She dried herself and covered her body in her favorite cream, as she always did. Then she put on her underwear, which was black, to match the costume, and sexy as usual.

Then she started drying her hair. She had too much and it was long, so it always took forever for it to dry. She decided to puff it to look more dramatic and place her cat ears on the top of her head. Once she finished her hairdo, she started with her make-up. She put gray and black shadows on her big eyes, as well as black mascara and liner. She decided to wear only gloss on her lips, to emphasize the eyes. She even painted her finger nails in black.

Once she finished, she looked at herself at the mirror and couldn't help but remember her days as a model. The hairdo, the make-up, made her think she could still be in the runways if she wanted. She smiled at the memories that came to her mind. She definitely had one hell of a time back then, she thought, but in her heart she always knew she would never become a fashion diva. It was not in her. She was a simple girl.

It was time to get in the jumpsuit. She really missed Jack when she had trouble zipping it up by herself, but she finally did. It was 5:45 when she was absolutely ready. She'd put the Cat Woman mask, the final touch, once they were in the cabin. As she waited for him to arrive, she lighted up her cute pumpkin and the other candles she got. Everything was perfect.

Some kids went knocking on the door to get treats. She happily gave them candies and even accepted to be in a couple of pictures when one of the girls next door asked her. She was really happy.

Meanwhile, Jack checked on his watch. 5:45. It was time. The whole day he had been thinking about the situation over and over again. He felt totally messed up. He couldn't understand what was the problem with him. He really liked Brooke. He knew she was the right woman to be with. They were steady, in spite of being living from coast to coast. He knew she'd like his family and his family would like her back, even Margo. Then why he was so doubtful about it? Why he didn't want to move forward with the relationship? The best explanation he could find was that it wasn't the right time.

Though he wasn't aware of it, the truth was he was afraid of his own happiness. Deep inside he believed the price he had to pay for being happy was extremely high. Every time he'd felt content with his life something awful happened, ripping away every ounce of joy. Within his soul he really believed he was meant to suffer.

That's why after the day went by, after he watched his family decorate the house and his mom helped his children with their costumes, after he left the kids with Claire, who now took them trick or treating since Kate died, he'd decided he wouldn't take Brook to the cabin. Yet he didn't know what reason he'd give her. He couldn't tell her it wasn't the right time. He didn't want to hurt her.

Before leaving his sister's house, he kissed the kids goodbye and told Claire he'd been paged and needed to go to the hospital. As he drove to meet Brooke, he found her message in his pager: _Wear a black suit, miss u, Brooke._ That feeling of guilt took over again.

When he passed in front of St. Sebastian, he decided to go in. He had nothing to do there, but actually he was looking for an excuse for not making it to the cabin. Heaven must have heard him. When he got there he found Robin, one of the interns on guard duty, totally panicked with no idea of what to do on a patient with a massive internal bleeding, who came from a car crash.

Before scrubbing in, he quickly called Brooke, calm in his voice. It was already 6:15.

– Brooke…

– Baby! I was worried, where are you? –she said, concerned.

– I'm sorry, there's been an emergency. I'm at the hospital, I'm going into the OR. I just need a couple of hours okay?

– Of course, don't worry. Um, you want me to call Patrick, to let him know we'll be late?

– No! –he snapped. – I've already paged him, he knows.

– Okay baby, good luck.

– Right.

With that, Jack hung up. Brooke felt somehow disappointed, but she knew he was a doctor, the Chief of Surgery, and those things would happen all the time. She knew about demanding jobs. She had been waiting the whole day, so a couple of hours more wouldn't kill her.

There was nothing on the TV. She tried the radio, but it soon bored her. She looked at the window and that kept her distracted for quite some time. She liked watching people go by. Some other kids knocked on the door, but she wished there had been more. She called Claudia to wish her luck with the party back in New York. They spoke for almost an hour.

When she got tired of waiting, she wandered around the apartment. It had really started to grow inside her. Little by little she'd been bringing and leaving her stuff, so it was close to become an extension of her own room back home.

Her favorite object was the photo frame she'd got at the supermarket earlier in the morning. Patrick had e-mailed her a picture taken by Marion at Varya's birthday. She thought it was a perfect picture, 'cause they didn't notice they were being photographed, so it was spontaneous. It was a close-up of Jack and Brooke's faces. Brooke's eyes were full of glint and she was looking at Jack with a huge smile. Then, beside her, you could see Jack's perfect profile. He was laughing and looking down. They seemed to be having a great time. That picture, Brooke thought, was the perfect definition of what they had. They were a couple, but above all, they were great friends.

The image of the apartment brought to her thoughts the conversation she had with Ilana about him having a family. She pictured herself living there with Jack and his kids. She'd take pictures of Jackie and Brett in their costumes and they'd bake cookies with her. They'd go altogether to pick pumpkins to decorate and she'd take them trick or treating whilst Jack watched them through the window. She wanted that. Now she was sure. She wanted to be a part of Jack's family. It was not because she had the urge to get married or being a mom. Those thoughts never crossed her mind before she met Jack. The whole idea of becoming a housewife only made sense to her because of him. She wanted to be with him 24-7. She loved him.

More than two hours had gone by. Then there was a blackout. Fortunately, she had a lot of candles to lighten the rooms. She laid on the bed and when she got tired of thinking and waiting, she finally fell asleep.

Jack had been in the OR for almost 4 hours. The patient was a mess, but at last he had fixed him and now he was stable. He had already been moved to the Intensive Care Unit. Later on, Jack gave instructions to the resident whose shift had started. He was filling some reports when she checked on his watch. He cursed in his thoughts when he saw the time. He never meant to leave Brooke alone for so many hours. He rushed to the locker room and quickly took a shower. Then he left the hospital and went to the condo.

Once there, he used the keys to get in. It was all quiet and many candles, almost fading, enlightened the living room. He saw the Halloween decorations Brooke had placed. Then he saw a pie on the kitchen's bar, which smelled really good. He rubbed his forehead and sighed. When he walked into the bedroom he found Brooke lying on her back across the bed, wearing a black jumpsuit, barefoot, her legs somehow folded, her messy hair covering the pillow, her eyelids totally dark. She was breathing placidly.

Slowly he sat on the edge of the bed trying not to wake her up. On the bedside table he saw the photo frame with the picture. He couldn't help but smile when he saw it. It really captured the best of her, he thought. Then he glanced at her again and noticed the cat ears on her head. The image of her lying like that sublimed him. At that moment he thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She was so delicate and yet what she made him feel was so powerful.

He couldn't resist to lay beside her, and for more than ten minutes he just watched her sleep, playing with her hair in his fingers. He rolled on the bed and leaned on his arms on top of her. Then he kissed her tenderly. They seemed like taken from the pages of the Sleeping Beauty tale, especially when Brooke finally opened slowly her eyes.

– Hey… –he said almost whispering, caressing her cheek.

– Hey… –she replied, dazed and rubbing her eyes. She felt disconcerted when she saw Jack's face so close to hers, the lights off and all quiet. For a second she thought she was dreaming. –What time is it? –she asked, abashed.

– It's almost midnight. –he replied, still delighted with her gothic-princess image.

Brooke was somehow cranky, which happened every time she suddenly awoke. Then she remembered she had left all the candles on and quickly sneaked under Jack's arms to get up. She rushed to the living room and started blowing them out. Jack watched her from the corridor, his arms crossed on his chest. He couldn't help but smile when he noticed she was still wearing the cat ears and also a cat tail. She looked completely adorable.

Finally, Brooke stopped and stood in front of the kitchen's bar. – I made a pie… –she said, still sleepy. – Then there was a blackout and I fell asleep. –she explained. – How about you? Everything alright at the hospital? –she asked, now facing him.

That question made Jack feel guilty again. He placed his hands in his pockets and looked down. – Yeah… it got complicated. This patient… he was totally broken. But he'll be fine.

– Good. –she replied flatly. Even though she thought Jack wasn't late on purpose, she still felt upset. Instead of being getting bored to death, she could've stayed home at her own party with her friends.

Jack noticed she was upset and not only cranky. He approached her and cornered her in the kitchen's bar. – You're one sexy kitten. –he said to her ear, holding her by the waist and sinking his face in her shoulder.

Brooke threw a short laugh and look down at herself. – Right… I look like I came out from a mental institution. –she replied, a trace of sorrow in her voice.

– Hey… –he said, seeking for her eyes and cupping her face. – I'm sorry Brooke. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to leave you alone all this time. It'll never happen again. And I'll make it up to you, I promise. –he assured, and then he kissed her sweetly.

Brooke soon fell entrapped in his lips and deepened the kiss. The lack of air made them break it. – Okay, then. –she said to his lips and then walked to the bedroom to enter the bathroom. On the way she took out the cat tail and dropped it on the couch.

When she came out of the bathroom, she found Jack seating on the bed, looking at the photo frame. – It's really nice, don't you think? –she asked standing in front of him, whilst brushing her hair, trying to untangle it. – Patrick sent it to me, he said Marion took it. I never noticed we were being photographed…

– That's what makes it such a great picture. –he replied, still looking at her hypnotic smile on the photo frame. Then he turned his head to meet her eyes and realized she was still wearing the cat ears. He smiled and took her hand, getting her closer to him. Then he sat her on his lap and took the cat ears off her head.

– They're still there? _That's_ why I was listening to your thoughts, then. –she said playfully.

Jack replied with a smile, gently caressing her still puffy hair, looking deeply at her, like he was trying to memorize her features with exactness. He traveled her face with his fingertips and made her shiver. – So what am I thinking? –he asked, looking at her lips.

Brooke gave him a long look. – Um… I really don't know. I never know…

Then Jack couldn't fight it anymore. He cupped her face again and kissed her deeply. Soon she placed her hands around his shoulders and kissed him back. It got deeper and deeper, their tongues entangling, eager for more.

Jack spread her legs on top of him and started discovering her body with his hands. He went from her back to her waist, then to her thighs and soon to her breasts. Brooke was moaning, which aroused him even more. When they broke the kiss to breathe, he said panting: – If you want me to stop just… –but Brooke cut him off putting her index finger on his lips. – Please don't stop... –she pleaded, her eyes filled with lust.

Jack gave her an indulging look and smiled impishly. He kissed her passionately and continued tracing every inch of her body, still entrapped in the jumpsuit. He had no problem unzipping it. After all he was a surgeon and his very skilled hands were one of his so many talents.

When he released her torso from the jumpsuit he found her black laced bra. Sexy lingerie turned him on in one second flat. He caressed it and soon started kissing her bare shoulders, her ears and her neck.

What Brooke found most arousing was his touch. He touched her almost with devotion, as if she was made of glass and would get broken in his hands. He was like a sculptor molding his masterpiece. Then he laid her on the bed, now beneath him, to finally pull out the jumpsuit completely. He felt his body stiffen as he saw her tiny panties revealed.

He kissed her belly button and her ribs, making her shudder. Then he held her against his chest and sat her on top of him again. She felt totally tied up, she definitely had never been with a man so experienced. He had absolute control of her.

Then she started to be a part of the game. She unbuttoned his shirt and got rid of it, at last revealing his chest. She kissed his ears and his neck whilst caressing eagerly his shoulders and his broad back, which drove her crazy. He groaned when she reached for his belt to undo it.

Before she ventured further he took her hands in his and kissed them softly, placing them on her sides after that. Finally he undid her bra, releasing her peachy breasts. The image of them took his breath away. – You're beautiful. –he told her, almost whispering. He kissed and caressed them as he felt her heart beat speed up. She couldn't wait to have him inside her.

Yet he took his time. He laid her beneath him again and kissed and touched every inch of her body, like trying to draw a map of it. At last he took his pants and underwear off and leaned on her. The brush of her breasts on his bare chest blew his mind away.

Before he went inside her, he looked at her beautiful face. He couldn't think of anything but her. She was right there, ready to be his. She was Brooke, the cheerful girl with huge vivid eyes and explosive smile, the girl who made him feel alive again, who filled him with unexplainable joy and made him feel everything was going to be fine, even if the planet crashed into dust.

Then he merged into her body and loved her as he hadn't loved anyone in a long time. The more he possessed her, the more he felt empowered. It was like waking up from a long, dark dream. Their bodies entangled generated so much energy he could feel it.

Brooke was dazed with pleasure. She had never felt so wanted in her life. "Look at me, look at me", he kept telling her. His intense look made her feel she was going to pass out. The connection she felt with Jack was beyond physical. She wanted that moment to last forever, she had been dreaming of it since the first time she went out with him. He kept whispering in her ears how perfect and beautiful and amazing she was. All she could articulate was his name, between moans and groans and even screams.

Finally they came together, as if they had planned it. She could've touched the stars when she felt him explode inside her. When he felt her coming, he thought she was too good to be true. He wanted to consume her and didn't stop until the last of her spasms ran out.

When they finished he rolled over and leaned her on top of him. They were both panting. She sank her head in his neck and her hair covered his face. He could feel her breath on his skin.

– You were right. –he said to her ear, his voice harsh.

She raised her head to meet his eyes and gave him a questioning look. – What?

– You _are_ loud.

Brooke flushed and looked down, biting her lip. – Well, that's news even for me, believe me. –she affirmed.

– Really? Man, I'm _so_ good… –he said with a mischievous smile.

– Oh, shut up! –she replied, slapping playfully his chest. – Don't' be so cocky.

They kissed again and remained like that for hours, talking and laughing, until they fell asleep. At 6:00 am the alarm of his watch woke him up. Brooke was resting on his chest. Seeing her lying on him made him happy. But he had to go, he had to be home when his kids woke up. He gently caressed her back until she opened her eyes. He kissed her good morning and told her he had to go home, which kind of annoyed her, but she understood he had to check on his children.

He promised to be back later. So he did. He returned to the apartment and drove her to the airport, after making love to her one more time.


	32. Chapter 32

Hi there! Here you have 2 new chapters, hope you like it. I think things are getting interesting, how about you?

P.S. Foxy4ever, I'm forever your fan :p

P.S. 2. I still don't know where Margo's name came from, anybody out there kind enough to let me know?

**Chapter 32**

As weeks went by, Brooke remained traveling to L.A. every Friday. Now passion was her driving force. All she wanted was to be in Jack's arms again, and waiting for a whole week seemed endless.

Jack, on the other hand, felt absolutely content. His relationship with Brooke was totally invigorating for him. He just couldn't wait for Friday to finally have her on the bed and undress her.

Now they barely left the apartment. There were times when Brooke thought there was no use in taking so many outfits with her, since she spent most of the weekend nude. Yet he loved to undress her and the more she was wearing, the more he seemed to enjoy getting rid of her clothes.

He flied her to the moon every time they made love, and he couldn't get enough of her. Jack never stayed over, though. That didn't please Brooke at all, but she always tried to remember Ilana's words about his priorities. He never mentioned his kids or family, but she knew they were the reason he didn't spend the whole night with her.

Intoxicated by his love, Brooke kept ignoring her family and friends' demands on meeting her mythical boyfriend. They all hated her coming and going to California every damn weekend, but she didn't care. It was official, she was a Jack-o-holic.

Yet she hadn't forgotten she still wanted to learn about his family and be a part of it. But every time she asked him something about his kids, his past, his mom or his late wife, he responded with a kiss and if she insisted, he just made love to her, so she'd totally forget about it.

What Jack enjoyed the most after having sex with her was the small talk they had in bed. That, he affirmed, was what built real intimacy. He loved Brooke's mind. He really believed she was the smartest woman he'd ever met. But above her intelligence, he found in Brooke an empowered woman. It wasn't because she thought of herself as some sort of queen bee. She was not arrogant or proud, neither played hard to get. She just exuded self-confidence. That was a turn on for Jack every time. And that, he thought, was the best quality she had, among all the wonderful things he found in her.

One Saturday, Jack had a very full stomach after eating some really tasty bagels Brooke had made. She put on one of his T-shirts and walked to the kitchen. After 5 minutes she came back with a tray. She loved when Jack said what she'd made was delicious. He had seen nothing yet, she thought with glint in her eyes.

He was lying on his back, one arm behind his head, the other playing with Brooke's hair. She was resting on him, not meeting his face, also playing with his hairy chest. They were in a comfortable silence when he finally spoke.

– I like your hair.

She rolled to meet his eyes. – You do? Why? –she asked with a shy smile.

– It's soft and bright… it always smells so good. I don't know, I just like it. –he replied looking sweetly at her. – Why you quit modeling? –he asked back, curious.

– Because that was not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

– Why?

– It's a very empty world. When you're a model, you're nothing but a piece of meat. Agents, photographers, clients, they all treat you like meat. They don't care if you're sad or happy or sick. All that matters is that your hips don't get bigger than 35 inches.

– Then why you became a model in the first place?

Brooke gave him an impish look. – Well… because I needed a job. I had the looks and the money was huge.

– You didn't need a job. –he assured, laughing shortly. – Your dad's rich.

– Exactly. _My dad_ is rich.

– Oh come on, you're telling me that he sent his precious princess to college with 2 bucks in her pocket? Please…

Brooke giggled. – Well, no, of course not… I have expensive tastes, what do you want me to say? –she retorted with a smug smile and then went on. – No, really. Yeah, I had an allowance, but if I spent it before the month ran out, that was it. Besides, my dad made me work every summer, so it was modeling or helping him at the firm. –she said, she said with an "Ew!" look.

Jack was listening with a lot of interest. – So one day you said "I'm _so_ hot, I'll be a model".

Brooke burst out laughing. – Actually I didn't. Marty did.

– Marty? The crappy-restaurant-owner Marty?

– Yes. –Jack threw her a suspicious look, so she explained. – One day I was buying a smoothie and he came to me and said those words, almost exactly: "Hi! You know? You're really hot, don't you want to be a model?"

– And you just said yes. –he replied amazed, faking indignation.

– Of course not! I thought he was hitting on me. But then he told me he was a photographer and that we could make hundreds together.

– Just like that.

– Just like that. And he promised me free shoes. I'm a shoe junkie. So, with that kind of money, I could buy as many shoes I wanted and use my allowance for what it was meant to be used.

– So it was all about shoes.

– At first, yes. And it was fun, also. But once in there, my inner journalist came out. I couldn't believe all the shit that happens there, you know? It's sick sometimes. My dad almost dropped dead when he knew I was modeling. He thought I'd end up becoming Gia.

– I can imagine. What did he do?

– He yelled at me and ordered me to quit. He cut my allowance. And he put Patrick to watch me.

– Patrick? –he said with sarcasm in his voice.

She giggled again. – Patrick himself. My dad knew he cared about me. Believe it or not, he did take care of me.

– Right… but your dad, he was really mad at you, wasn't he?

– Absolutely. My mom kept telling him it was just a summer job, but I guess she was worried too.

– But you kept doing it. What a nerve… –he assured, faking a stern look.

– Well, yes. I asked my dad to trust me. I promised him I'd quit once I had my story.

Jacks' look changed after he heard that. – And he believed you?

Brooke gave him a questioning look. – Yes… why wouldn't he?

He looked away. – He trusts you, then.

– Of course he does! Honey, you really have trust issues, don't you? Sometimes I think you don't trust your own reflection in the mirror. –Brooke said, nonchalant.

That comment made him uncomfortable. Trust was only one of his so many issues. But this time it wasn't about trust. It was about his father. – No, it's not like that. –he said, flatly. – It's just… I don't know, your dad seems very soft. He always let you do what you wanted. I don't know how he made you into the woman you are. –he said, almost to himself.

Brooke stared at him, disbelief in her eyes. She sat up on her knees and looked frontally at him. – Baby, no one made me the woman I am._ I_ am the person I want to be. That has nothing to do with my parents. You get to choose the person you want to be. –she affirmed looking right in his eyes.

Jack felt abashed. – But, I mean… what about the expectations people make of you?

– Well, that's people's business. I'm just responsible for myself and for my own happiness. If I'm a whole, satisfied person, I'll spread that feeling and share my happiness with those around me. It's contagious. –she said, totally convinced.

– Don't you think that's kind of selfish? The whole "I just care of my own happiness" thing?

– No. 'Cause that's not all I care about. I care about you, my family, my friends, my job. And I don't make myself happy by trampling on the others. I try to be honest and fair. But one thing is to care about you all and another is to think it's your job to make me happy.

– What you mean?

– Yes, look at celebrities, for instance. They have it all, right? Yet a lot of them feel miserable. Because happiness it's not in success, fame, clothes, money or shoes, neither in other people's devotion. It is inside you. You're the one with all the answers. That's something I learnt when I was a model.

Jack was absolutely moved by her speech. It sounded really simple and he knew that's how she lived. Then why he couldn't? Why he wasn't able to be absolutely, inconveniently and absurdly happy, just like her? Shallowness was not the reason, 'cause Brooke was not shallow. – How you do it, Brooke? You're just certain that everything will be fine. How can you be always positive and optimistic? Don't you ever get depressed?

Brooke threw a tender look at him. – Baby, of course I do. But every time I feel that way, I try to remember there are zillion reasons to smile and be grateful for. It's an attitude.

– Yes, but sometimes you just can't. –he said, his eyes almost watering.

– Yes you can. You make it happen.

– How?

– You have faith. In life and in yourself.

– Don't you ever lose your faith?

– Sometimes, but I get it back. I believe.

– In what? –he snapped, starting losing his temper.

Brooke frowned. She couldn't understand why he found it so complicated. – In myself. In love. In God.

Jack's look softened. – So, you're just happy because you want to.

– Exactly. I make my choice. And I choose to be happy, even in dark times. 'Cause it all passes Jack, and then you see the sun again. –she affirmed.

He caressed her face. – You make it sound so simple…

– It is simple. No one Jack, nobody, can force you to nothing. You get to decide, for good or for worse. There's always a choice.

He couldn't take it anymore, because he knew she was absolutely right. He got up and sat on the edge of the bed, to avoid her look. He couldn't manage an answer. Brooke noticed he was uneasy and felt bad, she didn't mean to upset him. – You know that Beatles' song, "Happiness is a warm gun"? –she asked.

Jack nodded, still not looking at her. – _When I hold you in my arms and I feel my finger on your trigger, I know no one can do me no harm because happiness is a warm gun. _That's my favorite part. –she assured. – It's true Jack… I've seen the rain too. When I went through all the Ryan stuff, I literally thought I was going to die of despair. I felt so sad I spent a week in my room without seeing or talking to anyone. I was positive I could never be able to smile again. But I was wrong. I learnt. And I grew… I sleep with _that_ gun under my pillow ever since… –she said, now standing in front of Jack, cupping his face.

When he looked in her eyes, he saw she really meant every single word she had just said. Though he didn't think he could ever feel the way she felt and believe and have faith, he felt hopeful. Maybe, just maybe, if he stayed with her, he could turn into that and live without being waiting for the next bad thing to happen. He embraced her by the waist and laid her on the bed. He kissed her passionately, desperately, and ripped the T-shirt off of her. Then he made love to her like it was the end of the world.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

The winter came. It was the last weekend before Christmas, so Brooke

decided to have her own private celebration with Jack. Instead of picking her up at the airport, she asked him to be at the apartment at 7:00 pm sharp. She had Friday off at work, so she could fly Thursday night to L.A.

On Friday she got up really early and went shopping to get all the groceries she needed to cook the fancy dinner she had in mind. She hadn't mentioned to him she could cook and she wanted to impress him.

She had the apartment beautifully decorated, mistletoes included, so she'd have more excuses to make out with Jack. Of course she had placed a nice tree. She had been cooking the whole day, but she wasn't tired. She felt thrilled.

Jack had no idea of this feast, but he kind of guessed it when Brooke asked him to wear "something nice". When he arrived to the apartment, it looked like a TV commercial. Everything was perfect and it smelled delicious.

He sneaked into the kitchen to look in the stove when Brooke yelled from the bedroom: – Don't stick your fingers in the food, baby. I'll be right there.

_How she knew?_ He thought, a smile on his face.

Then Brooke came out of the bedroom and saw Jack still trying to figure out what was inside the casseroles. He took her breath away. He was wearing a navy suit, a white shirt and a beautiful lime-green tie. He looked absolutely gorgeous. Dark colors made him look even taller. When he sensed her presence he turned to meet her eyes. She was in a beautiful short, halter chocolate dress. Its trapeze-form top didn't show her cleavage, but when he approached and embraced her, he saw it completely revealed her back to the waist. – Wow… look at you. –he said, kissing her softly.

– Hi sweetie. –she replied, kissing him back.

– So, what's the occasion?

– Us. This is our own little Christmas… –she said.

– I knew it… –he affirmed with a smug face.

– You want some wine? –she asked, moving aside and walking to the kitchen to grab a couple of glasses.

– Sure. What we're having for dinner? –he asked curious as he followed her.

– You're about to see. Why don't you go to the dining room, take care of the wine and I bring the food to the table, okay?

– Why? You don't want me to see the wrappings? –he said smiling behind her.

Brooke stiffened and her jaw dropped in indignation. She turned to look at him. – You think I ordered take outs?

Now Jack was in trouble. – Um… I don't know, did you?

– Of course not! Now you're not having anything. –she said, turning her back on him.

He giggled. – I'm kidding. Come on, at least let me have some dessert. Maybe a little chocolate? –he said playfully referring to her dress, embracing her waist and kissing her shoulders.

– Just be a good boy and we'll see… –she replied, shivering.

He let her go and went to the dining room. The table was delicately set. He could see in the elegant napkins, the glasses, the plates, it was the work of the great taste of his "fashion girl". – I didn't know I had this dinnerware… –he said loud.

– You didn't. I just got it for tonight.

– You want red or white?

– White, please.

Jack poured the glasses and went back to the kitchen. – Here. –he gave Brooke her glass.

– Honey, just wait for me at the table! Is it so hard to just sit there? –she said high pitched and pushing him back.

– I'm just getting you a drink! Helping wouldn't hurt, though.

– I don't need any help, everything's ready, so go.

– Okay, okay. –he turned around, went to the dining room and sat at the head of the table, where Brooke placed his service.

He looked around and noticed how the apartment screamed Brooke's name in every corner. It never looked so cozy and alive. Little by little she had given her personal touch to the place with pictures, plants, vases, she had even changed the drapes. It almost felt like home. No, it felt _better_ than home, he thought. The only thing missing was his kids.

His thoughts were cut by Brooke walking in with a dinner cart full of fancy plates with delicious dishes, which smelled really good. He opened his eyes wide and smiled, amazed.

– Okay, this is it. –she said smiling. – Dinner's ready.

– Hey… What's all these?

– Well, for starters we're having this creamy, cheesy pasta, a traditional Julians' recipe, then we're having baked pork loin with Bourbon brown-sugar glaze, lettuce salad with avocado dressing as side plate… um… we also have mashed potatoes and finally chocolate mousse torte for dessert. –she recited excited, glint in her eyes, as she placed each dish on the table.

Jack was stunned. – Where did you get all these?

Brooke raised an eyebrow and threw him a warning look. – I made it.

– What you mean you made it? You're saying you cooked all this food?

– I'm not _saying_. I _cooked_ all of it.

– Really? –he asked in disbelief.

Brooke frowned. – Okay sweetie, one more insinuation about how unlikely you find that I can cook, and I'm going to kick your ass, literally. ­–she warned.

­– No! It's not that I find it unlikely, it just surprises me, that's all. You never told me… –he replied giggling, his hands up in sign of defense.

– Well, I do. And I like it so much! I never get to cook back home. My friends always want to have dinner out and at my parents' I only get to help my mom.

– Is that a fact? And how come you can cook?

– My mom's French. Cooking is like mandatory for all women in the family, on her side at least. I've been helping her in the kitchen since I was a little girl. –she explained smiling.

– That's sweet… So, your mom's French huh? You speak French?

– _Oui_. –she replied with a mischievous smile.

– Say something, in French.

– Oh come on, that's lame. –she said frowning.

– It's not lame, it's hot. Please… –he begged, puppy eyes included.

She threw a short laugh. – Okay, let me see… –she looked at him and her pupils dilated. She thought of saying the "L" word right there. She felt it popping out of her mouth, but she thought twice and stifled it. – _Tu est l'homme plus merveilleux du monde._ ­–she said in a perfect French accent.

He wasn't quite sure of what that meant, but it sounded hell sexy. – What does that mean?

– I'm not telling you.

He raised an eyebrow. – If you don't tell me, then _you_ won't get any dessert. –he affirmed with an impish look.

She laughed. – Okay, it means "You're the most wonderful man in the world". –she answered looking down, bashfully.

He stood up and cupped her face. – No. I'm the luckiest man in the world, because I have you. –he affirmed, and then kissed her deeply. She smiled as she responded to the kiss. Soon it deepened and the room warmed up.

She broke it when he tried to slip his hands under her skirt. – Okay baby, let's better eat. We still have a long night ahead and it'll take forever to finish this food.

– Okay, then. –he replied like a scolded boy.

They started eating and he was really delighted with all the dishes. He just couldn't believe how tasty everything was. Brooke was a very good cook indeed. During the dinner, he told her he had already read everything she'd written, which really thrilled her. He told her he found really interesting all of her pieces, but the Pulitzer winner was his favorite. He said it was an absolute statement of the person she was.

Later on he asked her how it was to win such an important prize, and she narrated all the experience. He was listening stunned, feeling really proud as he pictured her receiving the award. Then she told her the best moment of all was to see her parents' and Terry's look at the very second she was on the stand, the happiest moment of her life so far. Seeing the pride and joy in their family's eyes had been priceless, she said.

As the dessert came, they were laughing and having a great time. Jack just couldn't take another bite, neither did Brooke. They moved to the living room and continued with their chat. Soon they started making out, but again Brooke interrupted.

– I have a surprise for you. –she said, breaking the kiss.

– Oh really? What is it? –he asked thrilled.

– Just wait here. –then she walked to the bedroom and he heard her opening the closet. Almost immediately he heard a thud and Brooke grumbling and mumbling. –Are you okay? –he asked concerned as he walked the corridor to the bedroom.

– I'm fine! I'm fine! I'm coming! –she yelled, making him stop.

He waited in the corridor and then came Brooke dragging a huge, large box, wrapped in Christmas paper with a big red bow. –What the hell is that? –he asked astonished, giggling.

– It's your Christmas present. Man! This is so fucking heavy! I don't know how you people go around carrying these! –she complaint, panting.

Jack burst out laughing. – Let me help you, then.

– Thank you! –she said laughing, not annoyed anymore.

They went to the living room again. Brooke asked Jack to sit on the floor at the foot of the tree. – Well, now open it. –she demanded.

– Finally! –he replied, tearing the wrapping apart, eager to open the present.

Within a minute Jack had opened the box. It contained a brand new set of golf clubs, the finest there were. – Oh Brooke! This is amazing! It's too much! –he said excited and stunned at the same time. – How did you know I needed these?

Brooke smiled thrilled. – Well, you're a golfer, I guess golfers always need new clubs, right? You like them?

– Of course I like them! They're awesome, thank you honey! –he replied with a huge smile. Then he gave her a smug look.

– What? –asked Brooke curious.

– You think I don't have a present for you, right? –then he stood up and went to the kitchen, whilst Brooke followed him with her sight, her eyes full of glint, a childish smile on her lips.

– You do? –she asked giggling.

– You bet I do. –he raised his arm and took from the top of the kitchen cabinets a little box, wrapped in bright red paper. His hiding place was high enough for Brooke to miss it.

– It was there all the time? –she asked jaw-dropped in disbelief.

– No, I put it there when I arrived. –he replied as he joined her on the floor again. – Here… I hope you like it…

As he handed her the present, Brooke felt her heart speed up and thought she was going to pass out. She knew that red wrapping well. _Could it be? No, no, easy girl, that box's too big for a ring_, she thought, her hands shaking. Yet she knew it had to be a jewel. Her eyes opened wider as she opened the exquisite box. – Oh my God, Jack! This is beautiful. –she said as she saw what it was. It was a white gold Cartier Love Bracelet. As a fashion editor, she knew all about it: it came with a tiny screwdriver, which worked as a key, and once you put it on, only the person with that key could release you from it. But the most important thing there was to know about that bracelet was it was a symbol of committed love. She was speechless.

Jack was looking at her delighted. He knew he had made his point when he saw she was out of words. – Well, you've got to think twice before you wear it, because I'm keeping the key and once you put it on, you won't be able to take it out, unless you ask me… which I hope you don't. –he said looking deeply at her.

– Of course I want to wear it. –she said immediately, giving him a longing look.

As Jack placed the bracelet on her right wrist, Brooke stared at him, positive he was going to say it, the words she had been waiting so long for him to say.

Jack felt her eyes fixated on him. – There you go. –he said when he was done fastening the bracelet, and then placed the key in the pocket of his jacket. When he met her eyes again he knew what she was waiting for. He looked in her eyes and saw what he already knew. Brooke loved him truly, madly, deeply, but above all, unconditionally. She loved him just the way he was.

Then it hit him for the first time since he first met her. _I think I love you,_ he thought, surprised. Yet for some reason, he wasn't able to just say it.

When the silence became unbearable, Brooke looked away, disappointed. She spoke to break the awkward moment. – Thank you Jack, it's lovely. –she said looking at her wrist, playing with the bracelet.

– It's the least you deserve. –he assured, touching softly her cheek.

Brooke smiled at him and then reached for him to hold her. So he did. As they embraced, she kept repeating in her mind it didn't matter if he didn't say "I love you". He just said it, she thought, in his own particular way. She could feel it not only in the way he was hugging her at that very moment, but in every time he touched her, every time he looked at her or even called her name. She knew Jack loved her too. They broke the embrace and sought for each other's eyes.

– Merry Christmas baby. –she said softly.

– Merry Christmas to you. –he replied, caressing her hair.

Then he kissed her and soon their bodies were pleading for more. He got up and carried her to the bedroom, where they made sweet love over and over again.

That night, for the first time, Jack stayed over, which made Brooke extremely happy, 'cause she interpreted it as another sign of his feelings for her.

The next morning Brooke woke up in Jack's arms. She never felt happier in her life. He was deeply asleep, breathing placidly on her skin, his face buried in the back of her neck, covered by her hair. He was holding her from the waist, her back against his chest.

She was thinking of how perfect it would be to wake up like that every single day, when suddenly Jack let go off her.

– Baby, are you awake? –she asked feebly, but then noticed he was still asleep, now face up. She stared at him and realized he must've been having a nightmare. He was mumbling and then started shaking. She was about to wake him up when clear words came out of his mouth. She froze when she heard them.

A little less than an hour later, Jack opened his eyes. Brooke wasn't on the bed, which kind of bothered him. He wanted to be the first to awake to watch her sleep and see what it felt like to wake up beside her. The smell of pancakes called his attention. She should've been cooking him a delicious breakfast, he thought with a smile. He put on his boxers and a T-shirt and went to the kitchen to meet her.

– Why did you leave the bed? –he asked as he embraced her from behind and kissed her head.

– Good morning baby. I… was hungry. –she replied flatly.

But Jack didn't notice she was upset. He sat at the kitchen table and grabbed the newspaper, nonchalant. – So what we're having? –he asked whilst scanning the sports section.

– Pancakes. And we still have some food from last night. –she said. – What did you dream last night? –she asked frankly, still making the pancakes.

Jack frowned at the question, trying to remember. – Um… I don't remember, nothing I guess. –he retorted casual.

Brooke bit her lip. – You talk in your sleep. –she announced.

Jack was absorbed in the football scores. – You've found out already? –he asked.

– So you know. –she said raising an eyebrow. – Of course you know. –she answered to herself.

– What did I say?

– Uh… well, I can't quite tell. Seemed like a nightmare. You were kind of mumbling… All I could get was "Don't Juliet, don't". –she affirmed.

The second he heard that, he got tense. He tried to conceal and kept reading the paper, silent. But Brooke turned around and stood in front of him. – So, who's Juliet? –she asked determined.

­– I have no idea. –he replied, not looking at her.

She couldn't take it anymore. – Jack, I know about the plane crash. –she confessed.

He stiffened and looked up to meet her eyes. – You do? –he asked back with a stern look. He was evidently upset with that statement. Now he was the one waiting for an explanation.

­Brooke got the message. – Yes… I knew since I first met you... When you were rescued I was in college and you were like the "it" thing. I'm a journalist, so I found it fascinating. I read everything about it. ­­–she said.

– Then you know who Juliet is. –she snapped giving her a burning gaze. Then he stood up and left the kitchen. He was terribly annoyed. He felt exposed.

Brooke knew he was pissed, but this time she wouldn't let him shut off. She walked behind him. – No Jack, actually I don't. I'm not planning on sticking to some Google version of your life. –she assured, grabbing his arm to turn him around.

Jack kept silent, trying not to lose his temper. He rubbed his eyes. Brooke went on. – I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I was waiting for you to bring it out, but you just don't. I think it's important that we talk about it. –she assured, gripping his shoulders.

– There's nothing to talk about. –he snapped, taking her hands off of him and walking to the bedroom.

Now Brooke was pissed, but she tried to be patient. – Jack, I know it must be difficult for you to talk about it, and I don't mean to upset you. But I just can't keep pretending _that_ is not there. You told me I could ask you anything I wanted to know about you, so this is the time. I need you to trust me. –she demanded.

Jack was sitting at the edge of the bed, facing the window. He remained silent for a couple of minutes, thinking. He took a deep breath. – Listen… every thing you know about that plane crash, about that island… everything you might have read, the wildest, craziest things… it all happened, Brooke. Even after all these years, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in panic, thinking I'm still there… I don't want that nightmare to haunt me anymore. It has nothing to do with who I am now. I keep trying every day to leave it behind. That's why I don't talk about it. And I'd like to keep it that way, if that's okay with you. –he said determined, looking frontally to Brooke, who now was sitting beside him.

Brooke ran out of words. After a couple of minutes, she nodded. Yes, he was entitled to leave that tragedy behind, she thought. – Okay baby. I didn't mean to be inconvenient. –she said, her eyes longing for him to lighten up.

Jack's look softened. – I know. Let's just forget about it, okay? –he asked, fed up.

With that, she grabbed his hand and took him to the kitchen. There they had breakfast in peace. Soon Jack forgot about the little situation they had before and enjoyed his pancakes. He couldn't be mad at Brooke.

They kept talking about irrelevant things. When noon came, Jack took a shower and got dressed. He had to check on his kids. As always, he didn't say a word about it. He just told Brooke he "needed to go home" and he promised he'd be back to take her out and go to the movies. She nodded, silent.

After she saw him driving away from the window, she had contradictory feelings. She felt content for the night before, for the bracelet and what it meant, and for how things were going between them.

But she wasn't totally satisfied with the plane crash issue. Yes, she knew he was right about being entitled to leave it behind, to not speak about it. But his reluctance to even mention it, along with other things like his family, his wife, his kids, made her uneasy. Sometimes it felt like he was keeping her out of his life. Other times she felt he didn't trust her enough. Others she believed he was keeping secrets from her. Whatever of those possibilities it was, it concerned her.

She wanted to move forward with the relationship. It was about time, she thought. She remembered Ilana's statement about her not speaking her mind. Ilana was right, but this time she would say it, she would ask everything she wanted to know. She would tell him what she wanted. _It's time…_ she thought. She wanted to go all the way.


	34. Chapter 34

2 new chaps., one sort of long... Enjoy and thanks for stickign around! ;)

**Chapter 34**

On Sunday, Brooke was getting ready to leave. She came out of the shower and started getting dressed, whilst Jack watched her with full attention, lying on the bed.

– You don't want me to let you go, do you? –he said impishly.

Brooke smiled, putting on her underwear. – What you're talking about? –she asked.

­– You really think I'm letting you go when you're putting on that lingerie in front of me, your hair wet…? –he asked, lust in his eyes.

Brooke raised an eyebrow and went on, now sitting on the bed, turning her back on him to continue dressing. – Uh… yeah… –she replied.

But he didn't give up. Soon he grabbed her and laid her on the bed, beneath him. – I think you're missing your flight. –he assured, and then kissed her passionately, his hands all over her body.

But she stopped him. – I think I'm not. –she said, slipping away from beneath him.

Jack frowned. – Are you mad at me? –he asked.

­­– Why would I be mad at you? ­–she asked back, not looking at him and putting her jeans on.

Jack sat at the edge of the bed and reached for her. – You tell me. –he demanded, his hands on her waist.

Brooke sat beside him and sighed. She was not mad at him. She was nervous. – I'm not mad at you baby, I swear.

– Then what's going on? –he asked curious, placing a streak of her hair behind her ear.

She took a deep breath and then spoke. – Jack, I know we're not spending the holidays together this time… I get it… Um… anyway, my dad's birthday is on January the 5th. We celebrate every year, but this time is special. He's turning 55, so we're having this huge party… all family and friends are coming, it's kind of a big deal… And I want you to come… I want you to meet my parents. –she affirmed raising her eyes and looking at him frontally.

There it was. He knew this moment would come, yet he didn't expect it would come so soon. He looked at her deeply and then nodded. – Okay, I'll be there. –he assured with a smile.

Brooke couldn't believe her ears. She was afraid he would refuse. She was kind of expecting her request would turn into an argument, but it didn't. He just said yes. She was delighted. – You mean it? –she asked with glint in her eyes.

He smiled back at her. – Of course.

She threw herself in his arms. – Thank you baby! You don't know what this means to me… –she said excited. _Finally, finally,_ she thought.

With that, Jack left the bed and got dressed. She finished dressing too. Then he drove her to the airport. On the plane, Brooke felt totally excited. She couldn't wait to be back home and finally get to tell everybody Jack was coming. She was picturing Ilana's face, as well as the one of all of her friends, her mom, her dad, Terry… She felt relief. Everything was going perfect…

New Year's Eve arrived. At the Julians', everybody was ready for the countdown. Brooke's family was very cheerful and they always threw huge parties at the lamest excuse. That's why she loved parties and was great at organizing them. New Year was no exception. Her parents' home was crowded as always, and there was plenty of food and drink. Some of Terry's friends had shown. Her cousins were also there, her aunts, her uncles. Even a couple of nieces and nephews she had. Everybody was there. Well, almost everybody. Jack wasn't there and she didn't like it at all. She started thinking what it would be like if she stayed with Jack. Would she move to L.A.? That meant giving up her job, moving away from her family, her friends. That thought frightened her. She couldn't imagine the holidays without her family, for starters. What if he moved to New York? Would he do that? Did he love her enough to move his family to the East Coast? She was trying to figure it out when her brother came to her.

– I think the end of the world might be coming this year. –Terry affirmed.

Brooke raised an eyebrow. – And why's that?

– It's 5 to midnight and you're not drunk. –he said with an impish smile.

– Ha-ha, very funny.

– Why you're blue? –he asked openly.

– I'm not blue. ­–she retorted, looking away.

Terry cast a wry smile. – Of course you're not. You miss your boyfriend?

Brooke flushed. – Yes… I miss him. I wish he was here. –she admitted to her brother.

­­– And why isn't he?

– You know why.

– No sis, actually I don't. –Terry snapped. – Why don't you bring him? Because of his kids? What's wrong with that? You know mom and dad will support you. They love kids. We can go to L.A. sometime and meet them.

Brooke smiled shortly. – I don't think that will be necessary. He's coming to dad's birthday. –she affirmed.

– Good. It was about time…

– I know.

– Oh no, you don't know. I can't get them off my back. They know you've told me everything about him and keep pushing me to crack.

Brooke bit her lip, concerned. – Really?

– Yes Brooke, they're driving me crazy. Dad's kind of worried, but mom, man! She's pissed. She thinks you don't want them to meet him and is positive there's something odd about it.

– Odd? –she asked shaking her head.

– Yes, odd, as in "There's something wrong about the guy" odd.

– There's nothing odd about him. It just took some time, but you'll meet him in another 5 days… 4 almost…

– Thank God… –he said, rolling eyes. – What's his name again?

Brooke smiled, picturing him. – Jack, Jack Shephard.

Terry frowned. – That name… it sounds familiar.

Brooke nodded. – I know. Remember my plane crash hero? –she asked with a childish smile.

– No way! It's him? –Terry asked back jaw-dropped.

­­– Yep. –she replied, a smug smile on her face.

– Jeez Brooke! You're really something else!

– Why you say that?

– Because you got him, you always said you would! I don't fucking believe you! –he affirmed, thrilled.

Brooke frowned, she didn't quite remember what Terry was talking about. – Did I?

– Man! How can you not remember? Whenever you were home, you were always talking about him and his heroic adventures on the creepy island. You even claimed you would marry him some day. And now you're with him, unbelievable!

Then Brooke remembered. – Wow! Yes, what were the odds, right?

– Odds my ass. You always get what you want, sis. I really admire you for that, you know? –Terry said proud.

– Oh stop! You're making me cry…

– Oh man, you're ridiculous, come on, time for the countdown…

"_10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!" _was heard all over the streets, along with the buzz of cheering, clapping, fireworks and so on. At Jack's home all the family gathered in the dining room. Claire, Charlie and their kids were there, joining Margo, Jackie, Brett and him. Of course Hurley was also there. They were having a good time. They hugged and kissed each other as the year arrived.

Then Jack slipped away to his studio. He dialed Brooke, who was waiting anxious for his call.

– Baby! –answered Brooke, excited.

– Happy New Year honey! –he said cheery, excitement in his voice.

Brooke was very emotional and hearing his voice torn her. She felt overwhelmed by her feelings for him. – I miss you so much… –she managed. – I wish you were here…

He noticed her voice breaking. – Hey… everything's fine, I miss you too babe.

She couldn't hold it back anymore. It didn't matter if they were on the phone. She needed to say it. – Jack I… I lo… –but she was cut off by the yelling of the kids, who were claiming for their dad. "_Daddy, daddy, come and see the fireworks!"_ she heard. – I'm coming. –he said, and then told to Brooke: – I'm sorry honey, you were saying?

She swallowed and took a deep breath. – Nothing, I… I'll see you on Thursday, okay? –she said stifling her tears, emotions constricted in her chest.

– Sure sweetie… Um, I've got to go. Have fun and think of me, okay?

– Always.

– Okay, bye. –and he hung up.

Some tears rolled on Brooke's cheeks. _I'm just anxious, that's all_, she thought. Everything was fine, she'd meet Jack at the airport on Thursday noon. She'd show him where she lived, they'd have lunch together and then they'd get ready for the party. She'd wear this amazing gown she'd got for the occasion and then they'd go together to her father's birthday, and he'd meet the Julians and all of her friends at last.

There was nothing to be nervous about, she repeated in her mind. Jack was a terrific man. He was a prestigious doctor, the Chief of Surgery of the finest hospital in Los Angeles, a refined, articulate man, sensitive and kind. He was extremely good looking, charming and athletic and educated… She went on numbering all his qualities. But above all, he was the man she loved. That was enough.

She was sure her family would like him. It wouldn't matter if he'd had 2 wives –one who divorced him and other who died–, two kids and 12 years more than her. She was dwelling on it at the terrace, her safe spot at her parents' home, when Ilana, who always came within the first hour of the New Year, jumped her from behind. – Hey!

– Hey! –she said holding her friend. – Happy New Year!

– Happy New Year for you too! –Ilana retorted, giving her a long hug. She was absolutely thrilled. – I wish all your dreams come true!

– Same to you sweetie!

– Okay now, breaking news! –Ilana announced, excited.

Brooke opened her eyes wide. – Shoot!

Then Ilana extended her left hand and placed it in front of Brooke's face. – I'm engaged!

– Oh my God! –Brooke replied, jumping and jolting Ilana. – Oh my God Ilana! Congratulations! How it happened?! –she asked thrilled.

– I have no fucking idea! We were at Times Square as always and when the New Year arrived, he just kneeled and asked me right there, in the middle of the crowd! –Ilana narrated, glint in her eyes and a huge smile on her face.

Brooke was now crying, her hand on her chest. It was too much for one night. – Oh sweetie, that's so cool! I feel so happy for you!

– I know! All this time I thought I would crap on my pants when someone proposed to me, but I didn't! I don't feel scared, I just feel stupidly excited and happy! –Ilana affirmed.

– Oh honey, it's so great! Where's Lance?

– He's inside, but I wanted to tell you myself.

Brooke held her friend tight again. – Honey this is amazing, I couldn't be happier for you.

– Thanks Brookie, but now, you know I know shit about style, so I'm pronouncing you my official wedding-planner. You have to take care of everything, everything. All I'm doing is calling the shots from the choices you make, okay?

– Absolutely. Oh my God, it's going to be so much fun! Ideas are running wild in my mind already!

– You bet.

– Which date you're going to pick?

– February the 16th.

– But that's almost a month ahead! –Brooke said shocked.

– I know, but we can't do it later. Lance is getting promoted in March, so if we don't do it in February, we don't get to honey-moon. Besides, that way we'll be here for your birthday.

– Fair enough.

– So, let's go back to the party and tell the world!

– We'd better hurry, we barely have time!

Both girls went inside and got wasted, thrilled and emotional for the things that were coming. Life couldn't be more perfect.

The first days of the year flew. It was Wednesday already. Brooke arrived at her parents' home after work. They were having a huge feast, so the kitchen was in siege. Mr. Julian's sisters, Blanche and Marilyn, were also there, as well as Lydiette, Mrs. Julian's sister. They were all cooking when Brooke joined them.

– Speaking of the devil… –Aunt Blanche said.

Brooke raised an eyebrow. – I'm glad to see you too.

– Oh just give her a break! –Aunt Marilyn snapped.

– Hello dear… –Mrs. Julian said, as she kissed her daughter.

– So, what's this all about? –asked Brooke, suspicious.

Aunt Lydiette spoke. – Your mom was telling us that your boyfriend's coming tomorrow.

– Uh-huh… so? –said Brooke, putting on an apron.

– Well, we're glad. –Blanche retorted.

– We're really looking forward to meet him. –said Lydiette.

– You're all a bunch of snoops. –Marilyn complaint.

Brooke giggled. – Okay. Tomorrow's the day. –she affirmed, as she started peeling potatoes.

– So, why don't you give us some sneak previews about him? –asked Lydiette.

Brooke felt their eyes fixated on her, her mom included. She went on with the potatoes. – What do you want to know?

– Everything. –Mrs. Julian said flatly.

Brooke was nervous, but she smiled. – Well, he's a doctor…

– A doctor?! –retorted Blanche, excited. – What's his specialty?

– He's a spinal surgeon.

– Oh, that's so wonderful! We don't have any doctors in the family. –Blanche said.

– And what makes you think he'll be a part of the family? –Mrs. Julian snapped.

– Oh that's so rude of you Vivian! –Lydiette reproached.

– Of course he's part of the family! He's Brookie's boyfriend since, how long dear? –asked Marilyn.

Brooke sighed, fed up. – Three months.

– Three months already, I think they're steady. –Lydiette said.

– Then how come we haven't met him? –Blanche asked amazed.

Brooke felt dazed by the chit-chat nonsense. – Because he lives in Los Angeles, Auntie.

– Is he handsome? –asked Aunt Marilyn, trying to break Brooke's uneasiness.

Brooke smiled. – Oh yes, he's gorgeous. He's very tall and fit, and he has big beautiful hazel eyes.

– Oh you're going to have such beautiful children! –affirmed Lydiette.

Brooke couldn't take it anymore. ­– Okay! I think it's enough speculation. Be patient ladies, all your questions will be answered tomorrow. You can ask him everything you want to know. –she said with a nervous smile.

The ladies got the message indeed. They continued cooking and talking about other things, like the people invited, the menu, the catering service. Everything was ready.

Brooke was ready as well. Her apartment was neat to the core. The fridge was full of Jack's favorite food and the bed was waiting for him with brand new silk sheets. There were flowers in every single vase and she had within reach the pictures taken by Marty, which he wanted to see.

The evening felt like an eternity to her. At last, the day was over. When everything was arranged for the party, it was late. She stayed at her parents', in her former bedroom. Before going to bed, she called Jack.

– Hi baby, were you asleep?

– Hey… no, I was waiting for your call. –he said with a sleepy voice.

– I'm sorry I didn't call before, it's been crazy over here…

– I know.

– So, your flight leaves L.A. at 8:00 am, right?

– Yes.

– Fine sweetie, I'll meet you at the airport, okay?

– Can't wait. Night babe.

– Night honey. –she hung up.

She felt safe when she got into her old bed. She was home. Her heart was beating fast. She was excited. Exhaustion made her sleep at last.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

Brooke woke up happy. Obviously she had the day off. She worked out for almost an hour in her old exercise bike to release some stress. It was going to be a long day. When she was done she went to the kitchen. She had some juice, grabbed an apple and went back to her bedroom.

Then she took a shower and got dressed. It was almost noon. It was time to go pick up Jack. She was enraptured.

She was putting on her shoes when her cell phone rang. She smiled widely. It was Jack.

– Baby! You're early! I was just leaving! –she said thrilled.

On the other side of the line, a head-to-toe scrubbed Jack didn't know what to say. He was rubbing his eyes, leaning on his locker. "_Jack?"_ he heard her say. – Brooke, I'm not at the airport.

She felt her heart speed up. – What's going on? ­–she asked frightened.

­­– Listen… there's been an emergency. I'm at the hospital, I'm going into the OR.

Brooke froze. – What you mean your going into the OR? –she asked, almost frantic.

Jack swallowed. – This patient… he has a massive spinal tumor and if we don't remove it he's going to die. –he explained.

But Brooke was close to lose it. – But why you? Can't somebody else take care of it? Like Marion? She's a spinal surgeon as well, isn't she?

He sighed. – He's actually Marion's patient, but she's not experienced enough. She's assisting, but I've got to do it.

She felt a collision inside. – Can't it wait for tomorrow? You can leave in the first flight and…

Jack cut her off. – No. It has to be done right now. He got here in a critical state.

– But, I mean, there must be like dozen doctors there and you're the Chief of Surgery, how come you can't make someone else handle it? –she demanded.

­­– I'm the only one qualified for this procedure… Brooke, it's going to be a long surgery… I don't think I'm going to make it to your dad's birthday.

She felt her blood boil. She couldn't utter a word. Jack knew she was terribly pissed. – Brooke I'm so sorry, I know I'm letting you down and I swear to God I wasn't planning on it… But these things happen. I'll do anything to make it up to you. Please, don't make it any harder. –he begged.

Tears rolled over Brooke's face. _Why, damn it, why?! _– Fine, I have no choice then. –she said, her voice broken.

– Thanks baby. I'll see you tomorrow, okay? –But before Brooke could snap to him that she was _so_ _not_ flying to L.A. the next day and that she didn't want to see him 'cause she hated his guts at the moment, he hung up.

She burst into tears. She felt deception, anger and disappointment, all at the same time. How the hell was she going to explain his absence? She could imagine her mother's face and her reproachful look. She could picture every single member of her family asking why he wasn't there. The idea of her friends giving her concerned looks drove her nuts.

She stayed in her room for an hour, thinking, trying to relax. It was 1:00 O'clock already and her aunts, as well as her parents, were having lunch together. She went to the mirror and touched up her make-up. She didn't want her parents to notice she'd cried. She sighed and walked defeated to the dining room.

At the table, her dad was having a nice chat with the ladies. Her mom was smiling and giving directions to Roberta, one of the maids. Aunts Marilyn, Blanche and Lydiette were also waiting for their meal. They all got surprised when they saw Brooke there.

– Happy birthday daddy! –she said as she held her dad from the back of his chair and kissed him tenderly.

– Hey cookie… I didn't know you were here. –Mr. Julian said.

– I stayed over. I was tired to go home. –Brooke replied casual.

­­– Are you having lunch with us? –Mrs. Julian asked.

– I am. –she said, as she sat on her usual place, to the left of her dad, in front of her mom. Mrs. Julian asked Roberta to put a service for her daughter.

By that moment, Brooke's family didn't know at what time Jack was supposed to arrive, so they didn't find weird that Brooke was there. They had lunch in peace, talking about the last details for the party.

They were in the middle of the dessert when Mrs. Julian asked Brooke. – Sweetie, at what time do you need the driver? –Brooke raised an eyebrow and looked back at her mom, disconcerted. – To pick up your boyfriend. Or are you driving? –Mrs. Julian questioned.

Brooke felt like choking. Yet she was prepared for the inevitable. She had the last bite of her dessert and wiped her mouth with the handkerchief, whilst everybody stared at her, expectant. – Um, he's not going to make it. –she announced, like it wasn't important. The room went mute. Silence could be cut with a knife.

– Excuse me? –his mother asked, annoyed.

Her aunts glanced at each other with an "It's going to get ugly" look. – He just called me. There was an emergency at the hospital and he's operating on a patient with a spinal tumor. It's a matter of life or death, you know. –she said with an impassive smile.

Mr. Julian felt the tension between the women. He didn't know what was going on. – He's a doctor?

– Yes daddy, he's a spinal surgeon.

– And is he the _only_ spinal surgeon in Los Angeles? –her mom snapped, visibly upset.

Brooke swallowed but kept cool. She looked at her mother determined. – No mom, he's not. But he happens to be the _best_ spinal surgeon in Los Angeles and the Chief of Surgery of the best hospital of the city as well. He has a duty to fulfill, and that duty is to save lives. He's the only one qualified for that procedure, so… –she affirmed relentless, shrugging her shoulders, the same impassive smile on her face.

Mr. and Mrs. Julian knew her daughter well. After she gave her explanation and they looked in her eyes and that smile on her face, they knew it was the end of the conversation. She was shutting off and wasn't allowing any other question, at least at that moment. Mrs. Julian breathed deep and glanced at her husband, who immediately threw her a "Don't" look. Aunt Blanche was looking at the scene, silent. Aunt Lydiette was looking down and Aunt Marilyn was looking away, the three of them visibly uncomfortable.

Brooke broke the awkward moment. – These things happen all the time, believe me. It's no big deal. –she affirmed as she stood up. – Well, I'd better hurry. I have a lot to do and I have to meet my stylist at 6:00. Excuse me. –she said, and then left the dining room, leaving everybody jaw-dropped.

She left her parents' home and went to her apartment. She felt uneasy, but relieved. After all, she was telling the truth. In her mind, she started justifying Jack. He was indeed a miracle worker, she knew that. She knew he was very upset for not being at the party, she heard it in his voice. _Please, don't make it any harder_, she remembered him saying.

Yet she couldn't help but feel sad and disappointed. But she didn't have time to feel blue. After all, that was a celebration day: his dad, her favorite man in the world –after Jack, to be honest– was blowing his 55th candle.

When she got to her place, she found herself with nothing to do. Everything was ready. She was supposed to be with Jack at that moment. She found herself crying again. When she had no more tears to cry, she went to the bathroom and sank in the tub. She breathed deeply and tried to relax. She stayed there for quite some time.

When she came out, she just sat on her bed, still in her robe, and held her legs tight against her chest. She even bit her nails. The day ran slow, but finally, the time to meet her stylist arrived. She went to the salon, and instead of having a hairdo as planned, she went all the way. She asked for a facial, manicure and pedicure. She also had her make-up done. Then she came back to her apartment and got into her cobalt blue gown. She stared at the mirror. She looked like a million dollars. Jack was definitely missing the chance of getting her out of that dress. _Sucker_, she thought. She called a cab and went to her parents', who lived as well in the Upper East Side of Manhattan, in a huge penthouse of an imposing condo tower.

For her relieve, once there, nobody said a word about her absent boyfriend, not even her brother. That, she thought, must've been the work of her aunts. It was better off that way, she thought.

Soon all the guests began to show. Family, friends, colleagues, partners, employees, everybody was there to greet Mr. Julian. Brooke was doing wonderfully at her hostess duty. She was giving a warm welcome to all the people that ran into her, smiley and kind as always. Her friend Claudia and her husband arrived. She gave them the same explanation about Jack not being there. Melissa, another of her best friends, and her boyfriend got there as well.

Guests were drinking, eating, smoking, talking and having a great time. Everybody loved Julians' parties. Mr. Julian was enjoying his birthday a lot also. That pleased Brooke. She was having a glass of champagne when Frank Sloan ran into her. Frank was now a partner at her dad's firm, a very talented lawyer.

He was indeed the colleague Ryan was supposed to be with at some Seattle diligence when he cheated on Brooke. Even though Frank was friends with Ryan, when Brooke broke up with him, he always was very supportive. The truth was he'd always had a crush on her.

– Brooke, wow! You look stunning! –Frank affirmed with a smug smile.

Brooke cursed in her thoughts. – Frank! You're here! –she said faking a smile.

­– Yeah, there was no way I could miss this party. I don't want to lose my job. –he affirmed blinking an eye.

Brooke threw a short laugh. Frank was a nice guy, but she could sense he was totally into her, and that made her uncomfortable. Besides, he was Ryan's friend, reason enough for her not to rely on him fully. – Right.

– So, Brooke, this boyfriend of yours, where is he? –Frank asked, sipping his drink and looking away, concealing.

She felt her blood boil. She knew he was trying to learn about Jack. – He's in Los Angeles.

– Really? What's he doing there?

– He lives there.

Frank opened his eyes wide, as if he didn't know it. – Is that a fact? Wow Brookie! I didn't know you were into long-distance affairs.

That comment annoyed Brooke. – Oh I am, and it's working beautifully, believe me. –she snapped with a smile.

– That's great, it's awesome, really. But, uh, how come he's not here tonight? I mean, if I had a girlfriend like you, God knows I'd _never, ever,_ leave her alone.

– Well maybe that's why you don't have a girlfriend Frank, sometimes we gals need some space. –she said with that impassive smile of hers.

Frank got the message and felt very uncomfortable. – Yeah… maybe. –he said, sipping his drink quickly. ­– Well, I'd like to say hello to your brother, see you around Brooke.

­– Sure. –As Frank walked away from her, she felt absolutely pissed. All of the sudden, she realized that the fact of Jack not being there meant something to the guests attending the party: they thought she was _available_. She looked around and noticed a couple of guys giving here the eye. Others were talking to her dad and glanced at her once in a while. Frank was now talking to Terry and she could tell they were talking about her, especially when Frank glanced at her and smiled.

She couldn't take it anymore. She turned around and walked to the terrace, grabbing another glass of champagne on the way. It was freezing outside, but she didn't care. She needed some fresh air. Her parents' flat had an amazing view. The lights of the city shined in front of her. She felt so overwhelmed she didn't feel her body getting colder.

She was sitting on one of the benches, biting her nails, thinking of Jack, missing him, when Ilana placed a shawl on her shoulders.

– I knew you'd be here. –Ilana affirmed, sitting beside her.

– Hey… you're finally here. You're late, though. –Brooke said, blue.

– Um, I've got here half hour ago… I was talking with your mom.

Brooke sighed deeply and rolled her eyes. – She went to you again?

– Yup. –Ilana replied, biting her lip.

– So, besides complaining about Jack not being here tonight, what did she tell you?

Ilana took a deep breath. – Um… She thinks he's married. –Ilana announced. – She thinks that's why you don't want them to meet him.

Brooke placed her hand on her chest. – Oh my God! Oh my God! What did you say to her?

– Well, I told her he's not married of course. Then she asked me everything I know about him.

Brooke swallowed. – So?

– So nothing. I told her what I know, which isn't much Brooke. I told her I've met him only once and that he's a friend of Patrick, who actually introduced him to you, that's all.

– And what did she say? –Brooke asked anxious.

– She felt kind of relieved when I mentioned Patrick. She believed me, don't worry.

Brooke rubbed her temple. – How can my own mother think that? How can she even imagine I'd be capable of being someone's mistress?! –she said indignant.

– Don't blame her Brooke. You keep going to L.A. every single weekend without any formal explanation. You're always evasive about the subject. You've been doing that for three months now, and they just never get to meet the man. What do you want her to think?

Brooke nodded. – Did you tell her about the kids and stuff?

Ilana gave her a concerned look. – Of course I didn't. You're the one who has to tell them about that.

Brook sighed, defeated. – Yeah…

– So, she told me about this tumor patient or something. I'm sorry sweetie… I guess that sucks about having a doctor boyfriend, right? –Ilana asked with a sympathetic smile.

– Yeah… I was pissed at first, but I get it. There's nothing I can do about it, right? Everything's fine… –Brooke said, almost to herself.

Ilana gave her a set look and nodded. Brooke raised an eyebrow. – You don't' believe me.

– What? –asked Ilana, confused.

– You don't believe everything's fine.

– Of course I believe you Brooke. Why wouldn't I?

– I know you. You're giving me _that_ look.

Ilana threw a short laugh. – Don't be so paranoid hon. If you say everything's fine, I do believe you. I trust you enough to believe you know what you're doing. But how about you? You believe everything's fine? –Ilana asked openly.

Brooke couldn't resist anymore and fell apart. Her eyes filled with tears. – I… I don't know. I hate the fact that he didn't show up tonight. I know he's a doctor, I know he's committed to a greater good, but he knew this was important to me. I mean, he's in charge of a whole crew of surgeons… I just… Maybe I'm overreacting, I don't know… –Brooke retorted, shaking her head.

­– Um… I don't think you're overreacting Brooke. I get you. Yet I think this is not only about tonight… –Ilana assured.

Tears rolled over Brooke's cheeks. – You were right Ilana. I'm not being myself. I'm holding myself back. ­­–Ilana kept listening. – Sometimes I can't help but feel he's behind this glass wall… I know I can break it, but I just don't know how.

– And why you feel that way? ­–Ilana asked.

– It's just… I share everything with him, from the most stupid, insignificant thing, to the most important. And he… once he told me I could ask him everything I wanted to know, but every time I do it, he never tells anything.

– For instance?

– Yeah, I mean, the other day I asked him about the plane crash and all he said was that he didn't want to talk about it. Every single time I try to learn about his past, he just shuts down. That can't be good, right?

Ilana thought for a second. – Well… I think he's entitled to leave his past behind Brooke. That's what moving on is all about. What you should be asking yourself is why he not wanting to talk about his past bothers you so much.

Brooke bit her lip and looked down, abashed. – I… I don't know.

– Maybe you're asking the wrong questions. –Ilana stated.

– What you mean?

– Yeah. What would you like to find out, for example?

Brooke replied almost immediately. – I want to know why he never even talks about his family. I want to know what happened to his wife, with details. But above all, I really want to know why it seems like forbidden to even mention her.

– Have you ever asked him like that, with those exact words? –Brooke looked down and shook her head. – And why's that?

– I don't know. _That's_ the glass wall I'm talking about.

Ilana nodded. – Uh-huh… Well, I'd say you're not asking the right questions because, deep inside, you don't really want to know. You're scared Brooke.

Brooke covered her face and burst into tears. – You're right. You're so right… I… What if he still loves her Ilana? What if he thinks I'm not as good as her? What if that's the reason he doesn't want me near his family? You know why I haven't even told him I love him?

Ilana gave her a concerned look. – No, why?

– Because if he doesn't say it back I'm going to drop dead right in front of him. –Brooke affirmed wiping the tears from her eyes. – You were right. I fear he won't respond the way I expect.

Ilana sighed and put a hand on Brooke's shoulder. – I get you sweetie, I totally get you. But you need to tell him all these things. You're getting frustrated Brooke, and that's because the honeymoon's over. You've got to a point where you need to take another step. This is where things get really serious or just fall apart. –Ilana declared.

Brooke nodded. ­– I know.

– But that doesn't mean things are going to fall apart Brooke. What if he's thinking the same? What if he doesn't talk about all those things because he fears you're the one who's going to get uncomfortable? What if he doesn't say "I love you" because he thinks you're the one who won't say it back?

Brooke opened her eyes wide. – Yeah, I haven't seen it that way.

­­– Honey, you need to speak your mind. He loves you Brooke, I'm sure he does. There's nothing to fear, believe me.

– How can you be so sure?

– Well, um, I just know. Don't ask me why. Just look at that bracelet of yours, it's gorgeous.

– Oh, don't tell me a bracelet is proof enough for you.

– It's not only the bracelet Brooke, it's what it means. I'm certain he would've never given it to you if he didn't mean it.

Brooke looked at the skyline and sighed. – Yeah, that's what I think, too.

­– You just tell him what you feel, all of it. Everything will be okay Brooke. Now, let's go inside, it's fucking freezing here! And you still have hundred pictures to be in and a toast to make, come on.

Both girls went inside, as the party went on. Brooke went to her bedroom to touch up her make-up. She didn't want anybody to notice she had been crying. When she came out she saw her mom walking out of the library, followed by Patrick. That surprised her, she didn't expect him to be there, he never confirmed his attendance. She rushed to reach him.

– Patrick! –she said, grabbing his arm.

– Hey! Brookie! Wow! You're beautiful! –he said with a wide smile. Brooke smiled and looked down. The she reached for Patrick to hold her. – Hey… what's going on? –he asked, caressing her back.

Broke took a deep breath to stifle her tears. – I didn't think you would make it. I'm glad you're here. –she assured.

– How could I miss it? –he asked, giving her a tender look.

– Yeah… What were you doing in there, with my mom?

Patrick threw a smug smile. – I was trying to get her phone number.

– Oh come on. –Brooke said, finally casting a smile. Then she looked at Patrick in the eye and waited for his words.

– She was asking me about Jack.

­– Jesus Christ…

– Yeah, it's kind of shocking Brooke. I can't believe they haven't met him yet, why's that? –Patrick asked concerned.

Brooke sighed. – Well, tonight was the night but, well, I guess you know…

Patrick rolled his eyes. – Don't even get me started. Marion just stood me up. She was supposed to meet me at the airport and she just never showed up. When I called her, one of the nurses was kind enough to let me know she was "in the OR with Dr. Shephard, in the middle of a very complicated procedure". –Patrick snapped, fed up.

– Don't be so hard on her. It was an emergency. I don't think she liked not coming with you either.

– Oh please! I know Marion. This patient, the one with the tumor, she knew he needed to be operated immediately. She ran all the tests, she knew it. I'm sure she did it on purpose.

Brooke frowned. – What are you talking about?

– Yeah. She wanted to perform the surgery all by herself. She knew Jack would be here this weekend and she waited for the final moment, so he couldn't get in the picture. She never expected the patient would crack and they would call Jack. She just blew it, as she always does, and she just ruined everybody's night.

Brooke felt relieved when she heard Patrick's testimony. She knew Jack was telling the truth. – Well, there's nothing we can do about it now. –she assured, finally relieved. – So, what did you tell my mom about Jack? –she asked, a little worried.

Patrick noticed. – General stuff, don't worry. But you need to tell them the real stuff, Brookie.

She sighed. – Yeah… But now, I just want to forget about all of this and try to have some fun, what you say?

Patrick threw another of his classical charming smiles. – That's the spirit.

They joined the crowd and at last, Brooke started enjoying the party a little.


	36. Chapter 36

Where are you people? Is everybody on Easter holidays already or what? Anyway, here's the new chapter, I hope you like it.

I'd like to dedicate this chap. to my number one reader, Foxy4ever, always supportive and sweet.

Penguin person, where are you? I'm not on your favorites list anymore, what did I do to lose you:P

Enjoy...

**Chapter 36**

At 4:00 am, the last guest finally left the Julians' residence. All the family was exhausted, but the mission had been accomplished. Mr. Julian had one hell of a birthday party and was absolutely content. Everybody went to sleep, happy.

The next morning, Brooke woke up in her old bed again. It was cold. She put on sweat pants and a sweat shirt. She covered her feet with puffy socks and slippers, and went to the living room. The house was all quiet. The service staff was trying to make no sound whilst cleaning the party mess. She said "Good morning" to all, after pouring herself a cup of coffee.

She went to the terrace again. It was her favorite place in her parents' home, she couldn't help it. It reminded her of her childhood, her family and so many sweet moments. Soon her dad joined her.

– You got up early cookie.

– Good morning daddy! How's my favorite birthday boy? –Brooke asked holding her dad tight.

– Couldn't be better. They say 55's the new 30. –her dad replied blinking an eye.

– Well, you sure look like 30. –Brooke assured with a smug smile.

– Sure. –Mr. Julian said, laughing. – Now, what's going on between you and you mother, with all that stuff about your boyfriend and everything? –he asked.

Brooke took a deep breath. – Nothing, she just thinks I don't want you to meet him.

– Uh-huh… And is she right?

– Of course not daddy! He was supposed to be here last night, but as I told you before, he's a doctor and he really couldn't make it.

– Umm… well, she's not quite pleased with that explanation cookie. She believes there's something wrong about all this.

– I know, Terry told me, and Ilana.

– What they didn't tell you is that now she's determined to set you up with someone else… –he said looking frontally at her daughter.

Brooke rolled her eyes, fed up. – You've got to be kidding me.

­­– I'm not. So, I need you to give me a good reason to stop her. –he demanded.

Brooke knew what that look in her father's eyes meant. He had given her plenty of room, but now it was time to give him all the answers.

– Right. Well, of course I want you to meet him… uh…

Mr. Julian realized her daughter was nervous and didn't know where to start. – Okay, we already know he's a very talented surgeon, what else? What's his name?

– Jack, Jack Shephard. –Mr. Julian frowned, finding the name familiar. – Yes daddy, he's the guy from the plane crash.

Mr. Julian couldn't believe it. – Really?

Brooke nodded and went on. – Yeah, what a coincidence, right?

– One hell of a coincidence. So, what else?

– Well… Uh…He was married once and got divorced. Then he married again and his wife died in a car crash… Um… he has an 8 year old daughter and a 4 year old son and he's turning 40 in June. –Brooke declared, hesitant, nervous, looking away and biting her lip. Mr. Julian nodded, silent. He didn't know what to say. – Well, that's a lot of information. –he finally managed.

– Daddy, that's why I wanted you to meet him first. Because when you say it like that, it doesn't sound so great. But you need to know that he's an amazing man, he really is. He's committed, caring, kind and sweet. And I love him daddy. You and mom will like him, I swear.

Mr. Julian smiled when he saw how her daughter's face illuminated by the thought of Jack. – Does he love you?

Brooke smiled and glanced at her bracelet. – Yes. ­–she affirmed, nodding.

– That's enough for me. You don't have to worry, I'll talk to your mom.

– She's going to hate me, isn't she?

– Why you say that?

– Well, I guess this is not her idea of my perfect match.

Mr. Julian patted Brooke's shoulder. – You're being very hard at your mom cookie. All we want is your happiness. Ryan was young, with no past, everybody liked him, and yet he broke your heart. If you love this man and he loves you back, that's all that matters to us. He'll be welcomed in this house whenever you both feel like it, his family included, okay?

Brooke smiled widely and felt incredibly relieved. – Thank you so much daddy. –she said, holding Mr. Julian again.

– I just hope it won't take any longer. We really want to meet him, okay?

– I promise.

With that, Brooke left the terrace and went to say good bye to her mom, her aunts and her brother. Then she went home. Outside, a typical January day went by. She realized it was Friday and she hadn't talked with Jack since the morning before, since she had left her cell phone at her place.

Once at her apartment, she checked on her answering machine. There were 8 new messages, all of them from Jack, who had been calling her insanely since the first hour of the day. Then she checked her cell phone. It had 16 missed calls from him. She listened to every single message he had left. He was desperately trying to talk to her, begging her to pick up. She couldn't help but laugh impishly. She was dialing his number when her cell phone rang again.

– Hello?

– Brooke! Where have you been? I've been calling you since last night. Why the hell you were not answering? –he snapped in his classical bossy tone. Then he realized talking to her like that was not the best thing to do, especially at that moment. – I was worried, I…

Brooke smiled from the other side of the line. – I was at my parents' and I left my phone here.

Jack rubbed his eyes. – How did it go, the party? You had fun?

­­– Yeah. –she replied flatly.

– So, I'll pick you up at the airport at the same time, okay?

Brooke bit her lip. – Uh… Jack, I didn't book my flight. I didn't plan on going to L.A. this weekend. –she reminded him.

– I know. That's why I did it for you. I e-mailed you the reservation number. All you have to do is go to the counter and get on the plane. –he said.

She opened her eyes wide in disbelief. – Jack I… –but she was cut off by him. – Brooke, I know you're pissed, and I totally deserve it. But you've got to come. I need to see you, I need to look in your eyes and tell you how sorry I am, please. –he pleaded, impatient.

Brooke couldn't resist anymore. She missed him so much it hurt. – Fine baby, I'll be there.

– Perfect, I can't wait. –and he hung up. He sure was in a hurry, she thought.

Jack had been anxious the whole day. He hated when Brooke didn't answer his calls. He hated that she was mad at him. He felt guilty and annoyed. At 5:00 pm he left the hospital and went home. He had dinner with his family. He kept watching the time whilst Margo and Claire, who came over, were chatting about irrelevant things, trying to get him into the conversation. But he just couldn't concentrate. When the time came, he excused himself and rushed to his car, ignoring the questioning looks on Margo's and Claire's faces.

As he drove to LAX, he found himself thinking of how his life had changed since he had met Brooke. He wasn't bitter anymore. He even felt content. But what he found most amazing was the fact of needing her so much. That freaked him out somehow. He felt attached and he knew that made him vulnerable, but he knew Brooke would never let him down, he was certain about that.

How he knew? Because she loved him, for starters. Because she trusted him too. But above all, he knew because within his soul, he thought she belonged to him. He actually believed he _owned_ her. That was one of his darkest sides: he hardly bonded with someone, but once he had made that bond, it had to last forever. He became possessive. That's why every time he was betrayed or rejected, he felt like killing someone.

That's why, as time went by, he was having more trouble with Brooke living in New York. He hated to watch her packing her bags every Sunday and getting ready to leave. He hated the time to drive her to the airport. He hated to kiss her good bye and have to wait for next Friday to see her again. He had to figure out some way to make her stay, for good. Ironically, becoming a part of each other's life, for real, didn't cross his mind.

He got to the airport and pulled over. He killed some time with a crossword puzzle, as he usually did. He checked on his watch. Brooke was 15 minutes late. He rubbed his forehead, annoyed. Was she capable of standing him up? _No way, she can't do that,_ he thought, fed up. He started patting on the steering wheel, impatient. He was about to call her when she knocked on the window and scared the shit out of him. He stepped out of the car and went to her side. She smiled warmly at him as he threw himself in her arms.

– Hey… –she said, holding him back.

– It's so good to see you. I thought you were not coming.

– The flight was delayed. –she explained.

Jack cupped her face and looked at her as she hadn't seen her in centuries. Then he kissed her eagerly. – Let's get the hell out of here. –he claimed, panting after breaking the kiss to breath.

He got her in the car and quickly threw her luggage in the trunk.

– How was the party? You had fun?

– Yeah, I had a good time. –she said looking through the window.

– What did you wear?

– A cobalt blue dress. –Jack glanced at her, waiting for more details. – It got to my ankles, it was strapless and fit. It was simple but elegant, I really liked it.

– I'm sure you looked stunning, didn't you? How many guys hit on you? –he asked.

Brooke noticed he was acting weird. – What are you talking about?

– Come on, tell me. I know men hit on you all the time. I've seen it.

– No one Jack, nobody hit on me.

He threw a wry laugh. – Right.

– How about you? How did the surgery go?

– Wrong. He died. –Jack snapped.

Brooke swallowed. – Oh baby, I'm so sorry.

– Yeah. –he kept driving, making a tremendous effort to not speed.

They got to the condo and went up. He opened the door for her to get inside. When she turned on the light, she found zillion tulip bouquets all over the place. Red, pink, orange, white, yellow, they came in every possible color. – Oh Jack, this is beautiful! –she stated, her eyes wide open, her jaw dropped. She wandered the apartment and tulips continued popping up. On the bed she found a huge box of her favorite chocolates and a card that read "I'm sorry" in Jack's hand writing. He was watching her from the corridor, his arms crossed on his chest.

She came out of the bedroom and walked to the living room. He followed her. – I'm sorry Brooke. Please forgive me. It won't happen again. Next time, I'll be there for you. This is the best way I could find to apologize.

She smiled at him and then spoke. – You need to know that I was very upset. My family and friends were really looking forward to meet you. I felt disappointed. But I know you didn't mean it. I was having a hard time but then Patrick told me that…

– Patrick? He was there? –he asked, cutting her off abruptly.

She raised an eyebrow. – Yeah. –she replied, nonchalant.

– And he comforted you, of course. –he retorted wryly, jealous.

– Well, yeah. He was also upset about Marion and...

– Marion was upset too.

– I'm sure she was. Anyway, it's okay baby. I forgive you. Let's just leave it behind, okay?

He approached her and took her in his arms. – Are you sure? –he asked hesitant.

Brooke smiled and nodded. ­­– Yes. Come on, I'm kind of hungry, you want to eat something?

Jack shook his head but followed her to the kitchen. As he watched her making a bagel, she announced: – Guess what? With all the fuss, I hadn't told you. Ilana's engaged! She's getting married on February the 16th. I'm the maid of honor and the wedding-planner as well. –she said excited.

– That's awesome. –he affirmed.

Then Brooke turned to face him. ­­– Jack, it's huge. It's very important to me. We're talking about my best friend. This time you don't get to stand me up. I don't care about your patients, not this time. So, I beg of you, don't let anything stand in the way. I want you at that wedding with me. –she demanded.

Jack nodded, determined. – I'll be there.

– Fine. –she replied, content.

Then she turned his back on him again to continue with her tasty bagel. She was spreading some mayo on the bread when Jack grabbed her from the waist and turned her around almost violently. – I hate I wasn't there Brooke. I hate I didn't see you in that dress. I hate I didn't took it off. –he assured to her lips, leaning his forehead on hers.

She placed her hand on his cheek. – It's okay baby. I'll wear a better dress for the wedding and you'll get to rip it off. –she said to his ear mischievously.

He looked deeply in her eyes and carried her to the living room, spreading her legs around him. Then he laid her on the couch. His eyes were full of lust and anger at the same time. Brooke had never seen that look in his eyes. She almost felt scared. If he hadn't been Jack, she would've felt raped. He got rid of her top and jeans in a second, and then took his shirt and pants off. He kissed her eagerly, vehemently. Then he got rid of both her and his underwear and furiously possessed her.

Meanwhile, at Marion's place, she and Patrick were having one hell of a fight.

– You just stood me up, and I had to find out through some of the nurses! If she hadn't been thoughtful enough to let me know, hell! I might be still waiting for you at the airport! –Patrick snapped, yelling at her.

– I've told you million times I didn't mean to!

– But what do you know about being thoughtful! You don't give a shit about anybody but you!

– It was a misunderstanding! I thought you've heard my message! You were out there at your stupid reading tour and you never answer any of my calls, what did you want me to do?

– I wanted you to insist! Man! You could've paged me or ask someone to tell me. And you know what bothers me the most? That you always have to do everything _your_ way!

– What are you talking about? –Marion asked, desperate.

– You know what I'm talking about. Your sick caprice of proving you are the new best spinal surgeon in town ruined everybody's night and even killed a man!

Marion shook her head. – What?!

– Oh please, don't play naïve! You knew Jack would be at Brooke's and planned the procedure for him not to be there. That patient needed immediate surgery, you told me that. How twisted you are to jeopardize a human life like that? Then Jack had no choice but to clean up your mess as he always does! It's so fucking pathetic!

Marion couldn't believe her ears and raised her hands in a "Stop!" sign. – You think I planned on this? –she asked, indignant.

– I don't _think_ you planned it, I _know_ you did it on purpose!

Marion burst out laughing, sarcastic. – Oh my God, I don't believe you! –Patrick looked at her, confused. – Jesus Christ sweetie, you have no idea! –she affirmed. – What? ­–asked Patrick, annoyed.

– I didn't jeopardize anybody. Jack himself asked me to schedule the surgery for yesterday. He knew about it since last Monday. I didn't even know he was supposed to be at the stupid party. I thought he wasn't going, of course.

– You're lying! –Patrick snapped, furious.

– I'm not lying. When was the last time you checked you voice mail Patrick? I left that message right after I requested the OR, on Monday afternoon.

Patrick went pale. He immediately grabbed his cell phone and checked the messages. Marion was telling the truth. – This is fucking unbelievable! Why on Earth would Jack do that?

Marion stiffened. – Why he did what? –she asked, fed up.

– Jesus! He didn't want to go. He used you as an alibi. Son of a bitch!

– What the fuck are you talking about? What if he didn't want to go? What's the big deal?

– The big deal is he lied to Brooke! Man! She was so upset! She cried the whole day! Her mom was pushing her and everybody felt sorry for her. How dare him?!

As Marion watched him complaining, it hit her like an avalanche. – Oh my God!

– What? –Patrick snapped, losing his temper.

– You're in love with Brooke!

– Oh for God's sake! Is that the best thing you have to say?

– It's true! Of course you love her! How could I not notice before?!

– Jesus Christ, I can't stand you anymore!

– Don't deny it you stupid fuck! That's why you always want her around. That's why you're always questioning everything Jack does regarding her! Man! And you say I'm pathetic! At least I'm not secretly in love with one of my _best friend's_ girlfriend!

– Oh, how dare you?!

– It's so obvious! I should've known since the first time you introduce her to me! "This is my beautiful friend Brooke". God! You're disgusting! You've been lying to me and Jack all this time!

– This is ridiculous! I'm out of here. –he said, walking away from Marion.

– Yeah, get the hell out of my house! –she screamed at the slamming door Patrick left behind.

After Jack made love to her, Brooke fell asleep in his arms. They were still on the couch. She was breathing softly on his chest whilst he played with her hair. As he watched her body entangled with his, he thought of what he'd done. Yes, he had lied to her. Yet, as he caressed her delicate skin, he felt relieved. She was his, only his, and he wouldn't let anything ruin it.


	37. Chapter 37

Here another one, thanks for sticking around, hope you're not on Holidays yet, enjoy...

**Chapter 37**

Weeks kept going by. Brooke had been very busy planning Ilana's wedding. She was enjoying the duty a lot. Both her place and Jack's apartment were full of wedding magazines, fabric and flower samples, business cards and so on. With all the fuss, she had no time to remember asking Jack about his late wife and all the things she wanted to know.

Since her dad's birthday, Jack had been buying her airplane tickets. That way, he made sure she'd come to L.A. every Friday. Brooke, on the other hand, thought that was a very gentile gesture of him. To have him paying for her flights was not an issue for her.

It was Sunday, two weekends before the event. Brooke was sitting on the bed, working with some lists and other stuff for the wedding. She was at the phone with Ilana, who was close to a nervous breakdown and was going through what Brooke called "bride's insanity".

– Ilana, please, I beg of you. How can you tell me _now_ you hate the napkins? Uh-huh, yeah! I told you they were tacky, but you still picked them! _Just do something_? God! The wedding's within 2 weeks! What do you want me to do?

While she was talking, Jack was beside her, lying on the bed, listening amused to what Brooke was saying. She glanced at him and smiled. – Uh-huh, of course he's with me. –Jack sensed they were talking about him and threw a questioning look. – You're out of your mind! No! Ha-ha! Okay, okay, fine! –Then she covered the phone with the palm of her hand and announced: – Ilana wants to talk to you. She's threatening to kill herself if you don't pick up. –she said playfully. Jack raised an eyebrow and took the phone, giving her a "Then I have no choice" look. – Hello?

– Jack dear! What a pleasure to hear you! It's been forever since we last met.

– How you're doing Ilana? It's nice to hear you too.

– I'm falling apart, but who cares? Anyway, I'm sure you know by now, but I'm getting married, here, in New York, and I just want to make sure you're going to be here…

– Of course I will.

– Cool, awesome. I know you won't be at the rehearsal, Brooke told me, it's okay. I don't even know why there has to be a rehearsal in the first place. Do you know we're almost the only country in the world that has wedding rehearsals? Are we stupid so we need to rehearse or what? I just don't get it.

Jack burst out laughing. – That's why I don't rehearse.

– Can I join you?

– I don't think your friend here will let you skip it. –he affirmed looking at Brooke.

– I know, I know, it's all about perfection with her. Anyway, I'll see you in two weeks, okay?

– Absolutely.

– Swell! Oh, and one other thing, you tell Brooke I need new napkins.

– Don't you want me to put her on the phone again so you can…

– Napkins Jack, napkins. Bye-bye! –and she hung up.

Brooke was smiling widely with disbelief in her eyes. – What did she tell you?

– Okay, that thing about the bride's insanity, I believe it.

Brooke laughed. – I told you!

– She wants new napkins.

– Jesus Christ! Where the hell I'm going to get her new napkins in just 2 weeks? She's out of her mind! –Brooke affirmed laughing.

– What's the big deal with napkins? I never pay attention to them.

– That's because you're a man, baby. Jeez! Now I have to get the stupid napkins. –she said as she stood up and picked one of the magazines from the dressing table.

– You'll get them, don't worry. They're just napkins. –he said smiling at her.

– You tell that to the bride. Well, apart from napkins, everything's ready, I hope. –she said with a nervous look.

– I'm sure everything will be perfect, just like you.

She smiled at that statement. Then it hit her. – Baby, have you booked your flight already?

– Yeah.

Brooke threw him a suspicious look. – Are you sure?

Jack rolled his eyes. – Of course. Actually, Patrick's secretary did it for me. We're taking the same flight.

Brooke felt relieved when she heard that. – Good.

– So, finally which maid dress you picked? I hope the one I liked the most.

– That one indeed. Ilana's cousin hated it, but the other girls liked it, so it was a democratic decision, sort of.

– You should've just picked the one you looked hotter with, period. Who cares about the other girls? –he said as he held her from behind and kissed her neck.

– Don't be rude baby. We all have to look hot.

– No, _they all_ have to look hot. You're hot already. You look exquisite with anything you wear. I'd rather to stick with _anything_, though. –he said impishly.

Brooke laughed. – Okay baby, airport time. –she announced.

Another week went by. It was Thursday already. Jack was at his office, reading some medical reports, when Marion stepped in.

– Jack, may I come in? –she asked.

Jack frowned when he saw her in the door frame. Marion was everything but the type of girl who asked permission for anything. He noticed something was wrong, she looked really crushed. – Sure…

Marion came in and sat on his desk in front of him, as she always did. Jack kept reading the reports, waiting for her to speak. She bit her lip and finally said. – I'm not going to Brooke's friend wedding.

Jack stopped reading and looked at her, raising an eyebrow. ­– And why's that?

Marion looked down, defeated. – I broke up with Patrick. –she announced.

Jack shook slowly his head. – Marion I'm very sorry, I didn't know. What happened? –he asked concerned, in a paternal tone.

Marion thought for a minute. Then she cast a short wry smile. – Uh… to explain it in simple words, what happened is that he doesn't love me. –she assured. Jack kept silent to let her talk. – It was a long time coming of course. We were doomed since the beginning. Uh…I wasn't the one for him and I always wanted him to be someone he's not, so, a match made in hell, huh?

– I'm sorry Marion. I really don't know what to say. I'm terrible at these things. All I can tell you is that this might be for the best, though you can't see it that way right now.

– Yeah, of course it is for the best, I know. I'm cool. –she assured, like trying to convince herself. She stared at Jack, and he knew she wanted to say something else.

– Jack, I… I need to tell you something.

– I'm listening.

– Uh… I don't mean to sound bitchy or anything… You know I respect you and I always look up to you, I always think of you as an elder brother…

– Yeah, thanks. You know I care about you too…

– Yeah. So, I just want to ask you a favor.

Jack started to feel uneasy as Marion spoke. She looked really sad and her conversation was becoming awkward. – Just tell me, anything you need.

– Listen, um… I think Brooke is a great girl. I barely know her, but I've seen the change she's made in you. That's enough for me to see she's worth it.

– What does Brooke have to do with this? –he asked with a questioning look, puzzled.

– All I'm saying, Jack, is… if you don't love her, you should leave her alone.

Jack was shocked. – What the hell are you talking about? Why you're saying this to me?

­– Because you lie to her. And you keep her out. That's what Patrick did to me.

He couldn't believe his ears and made his best to keep it cool and not lose his temper. – Marion, I know you're upset and that's why you're being a little too emotional, but this has nothing to do with me or Brooke, I don't know why you're…

But Marion cut him off. – I know about her dad's birthday party.

– You know what? –he snapped.

– You told her you were not going because of the Sedwick surgery.

– Yeah, so what?

Marion threw an accusing look. – On the very same day. You told me to schedule that surgery since the Monday before and you just waited for the last minute to tell her, as if all had been unexpected. You used it as an excuse.

That statement got on his nerves. He gave her an upset look. – Listen Marion, I don't know where did you get…

Marion interrupted once more. – Patrick told me. He knows, Jack. And he totally freaked out. That was the beginning of the end…

– What you mean? –he asked sternly.

Marion took a deep breath. She knew Jack would be blown away by what she was about to say, but she never felt intimidated by him. – Jack, you need to know this. Patrick, he… he's in love with Brooke.

Jack stiffened and his eyes opened wide in disbelief. – What the hell are you saying?

– That's why we broke up. I realized he has feelings for her.

– Did he tell you that? –asked Jack, furious.

– Of course not. He'll never admit it, not to me at least. You should've seen the look on his face Jack. He wanted to kill you when he learnt you had lied to her. He complaint about how miserable your absence made her feel.

When Jack noticed the resentment in Marion's voice, he nodded and threw a wry laugh. – Marion, you're totally making a big deal out of this. I don't blame you, right know you need to find an explanation to what's happening to you. Patrick's not in love with Brooke. She's like a sister to him, and he only freaked out because he cares about her, they've been friends forever. Of course they have a bond and maybe he's very protective with her. But there's no reason for you to think that he has feelings for her. –he said nonchalant, having all figured out.

Marion shook her head and rolled her eyes, wry. – How can you not notice? It's pretty obvious if you think about it. Anyway… all I'm saying is that it's not fair.

– What's not fair?

– Look, I just want all of us to be happy, especially Patrick. So, if you don't love Brooke and you're planning on keeping her out of your life, as you do, and will keep lying to her, you should think of getting out of the way, you know…

This time Marion went too far. – God, I don't believe you! You're out of your mind! Let me get this straight, my relationship with Brooke is perfect and…

Marion snapped abruptly again. – All I want is to prevent another heart to be broken.

Jack was losing it. – How can you speak to me like that? You don't even know what you're saying…

– I _so_ know what I'm saying! Patrick and I, we… We were having the time of our lives. He got along, sex was great, we laughed together… Yet he never wanted me to meet his parents, and the only time I asked him to come home with me, he turned me down. He said he was "very busy with his reading tour". And the only reason I got to meet his friends was because they're the same than mine. We were "perfect". Just like Brooke and you. –she affirmed, her voice sardonic.

Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he stared at Marion and saw no use in explaining what he had with Brooke to some spoiled brat who was bitter 'cause her boyfriend had just dumped her. He used the last ounce of patience he had left. – Marion, sweetheart, I appreciate your counseling, God knows I do. But you really need to understand that this has nothing to do with me and Brooke. It's not her fault that Patrick left you. And he's certainly not in love with her. –Marion laughed shortly to his face. Jack breathed deeply and went on. – But, if I ever change my mind and decide to _get out of the way_ so that Patrick can confess his _secret love_ to her, I'll let you know, and him, of course. –he said cynical.

Marion shook her head slowly and looked down, casting a wry smile. ­– Fine Jack, I see you just don't want to get my point. Only one last thing, take it as some little piece of advise. –Jack rolled his eyes and waited for her to talk. – If you really want to prove me wrong, you go to that wedding… You don't want to leave Patrick and Brooke alone, _believe me_. –she stated, and then she got down of the desk and walked out of the office with grace, leaving Jack tense, annoyed and with a speedy heartbeat.


	38. Chapter 38

Hello there! Here you have 2 new chaps. We're about to get to the home straight of this story, and you'll soon find out what really happened with Kate and why Jack is so reluctant to go all the way with Brooke. I want to thank all of you who've kept reading, you really mean the world to me guys. Thank you so much for sticking around. Enjoy... ;)

**Chapter 38**

The weekend before Ilana's wedding, Brooke felt totally excited and content. She had finally got the new napkins and her gown was ready, waiting for her to put it on. She had been trying to reach Patrick the whole week with no luck. All she knew about him, through his secretary, was that he was in the country, giving lectures at some state schools.

Jack, on the other hand, had forgotten about the crazy things Marion had told him. At first he had been nervous, thinking Patrick might tell Brooke the whole surgery situation, but the only time he had ran into him in the hallways of the hospital ever since, Patrick had been totally cool and nonchalant, so Jack thought it wasn't that of a big deal, as Marion had stated.

On Friday, he spent part of the night with Brooke, as he always did. But this time he left the apartment before midnight, telling her he wouldn't meet her before 5:00 pm on Saturday 'cause he had "things to attend". The truth was he had to be at Jackie's swimming competition in Manhattan Beach.

She accepted his explanation with a smile, as always, kissed him good night before he left and went to sleep.

The next day she woke up feeling very vital. She did some cleaning in the apartment and soon found herself with nothing interesting to do. Then she thought of calling Patrick. This time she was lucky, or wasn't she? He picked up.

– Hello?

– Patrick! Well, this is a miracle! I finally reach you!

– Hey Brookie! What's up?

– I was wondering if you're in town…

– I just got here last night.

– That's great, uh, listen, I'm not meeting Jack until 5:00, you think we can have lunch together?

– Sure, that would be nice.

– Cool! So, this great steak house at Sunset Boulevard, how about we meet there at 1:00 O'clock?

– I'll se you there.

Once at the restaurant, Brooke and Patrick were catching up. He told her about his lectures and she shared details about her work and some editorials she was working on. They were having an amusing conversation, but then fate made its move and they soon began talking about Ilana's wedding.

– So, where you're staying? I've made arrangements with a couple hotels to accommodate some of the guests, I can book a suite for you and Marion if you want. –Brooke offered.

Patrick sighed and looked down, abashed. – Uh, thanks, but I'm going on my own.

– What you mean you're going on your own? She has surgery or something?

– No. We broke up.

Brooke's jaw dropped. – Oh my God Patrick! Why you didn't tell me before? When?

­– A couple of weeks ago, sort of.

– Patrick, I'm so sorry. But why, what happened? –she asked concerned.

Patrick gave her a long look. – It got too serious. –But Brooke frowned, not understanding what he meant. – I knew since day one we were not good for each other. I was attracted to her, nothing else. But she insisted on giving it a shot, and I agreed. My mistake.

– But sweetie how can you say that? You were with her like 6 months, right? Why you think you're not good for each other?

– Because it's true. Marion has this fixated idea of what a "perfect couple" is supposed to be. She was looking for the one, a perfect husband-to-be. It wasn't me, of course. Yet she wanted me to be so bad, everything just fell apart.

– Oh honey I'm so sorry… but, um… aren't you being too hard on her? She's a nice girl, she's gorgeous, fun. She's so your type…

Patrick gave a wry smile and looked away. – Yeah, my type. Well, I'm thinking maybe my type's been keeping me away from what I really want.

– And what do you want? ­–Brooke asked openly.

Patrick laughed. – That's a tough question Brookie. I have no idea, to be honest with you. I'll know when I see her, I guess. –he said with a short smile.

– Well, I'm very sorry for Marion, I really liked her, but if this is what you want, I totally support you. –she affirmed with a sweet smile.

– I didn't expect less. –he said with a smirk. ­– Now tell me, at what time is Jack finally taking that damn flight? –he asked nonchalant, wiping his mouth with the napkin.

Brooke almost choked on the juice she was sipping when she heard that. – Why you're asking me that? I thought you were taking the same flight. –she said puzzled, disbelief in her eyes.

Patrick knew that couldn't be good. His mouth had run too far without even realizing. He went pale and felt nervous, and made a tremendous effort to conceal. – Oh, right, of course, silly me! –he said looking down, then took a bite of his steak.

But it was too late. – Oh boy!

– What? –he asked with an innocent look.

– Patrick, you're a terrible liar! Tell me! –she demanded, furious.

– Tell you what? –he asked in panic, having no clue of what Brooke wanted to hear.

Brooke felt her heart speed up and her hands shaking. – Jack told me you were taking the same flight. He said your_ own_ secretary booked his tickets!

Patrick rubbed his eyes and sighed strongly. – Um, it's possible. She never tells me anything, she's kind of scatterbrained, maybe he asked her and she just did it. –he affirmed.

– Oh really? –she said sarcastic. – I think you should know by now. Besides, if that was the case, then why you're asking me at what time he's taking _that _damn flight?!

Patrick closed his eyes and shook his head. – Okay Brooke, fine. Yes, I told Aimee to ask him if he wanted to take the same flight so she could book both our tickets, but he turned her down. He said he had to check his schedule first. –he said, distorted.

Brooke felt the ground beneath her shake. She was speechless. – But he… Why? Why he lied to me? –she said, her voice broken and her heart torn.

Patrick looked at her concerned. – I… I don't know Brooke.

But Brooke raised her eyes to meet Patrick's and knew there was something else. – What you're hiding from me Patrick? –she asked, menacing.

– Nothing!

– Don't you lie to me! Tell me! Tell me, damn it, or I swear to God…! –she snapped raising her voice. Now everybody at the restaurant was staring at them.

Patrick looked around and then pleaded in a lower voice: – Please calm down!

– Just tell me!

Patrick was evidently uneasy. – Brooke I… I don't know why he lied to you. But I know this is not the first time.

­­– What you mean this is not the first time? –she asked, frantic.

Patrick took a deep breath. – On your dad's birthday… The surgery he told you about, it was not unforeseen Brooke. He asked Marion to schedule it for January 5th, she told me.

Brooke's face distorted. – No! It can't be true! –she said in denial.

– I couldn't believe it either, that's why I checked. The OR was requested since the Monday before. He knew, Brooke.

– Oh my God! Why the fuck you didn't tell this me before?! How could you?!

Patrick shook his head. – I knew this would happen if you found out. Brooke, listen, this is very hard for me. I respect Jack, he's my friend. I just wanted to stay out of your issues.

– What issues, damn it?! I didn't even know we had issues!

– Well, I mean… I thought him lying to you should be an issue…

Emotions constricted in her chest. – But why?! If he didn't want to meet my family he could've just told me!

– Maybe he didn't want to hurt you. –Patrick justified.

– He didn't want to hurt me?! Do you think lying to me is the best way to go then?! –she yelled.

– Brooke, I… I just don't know what to say.

She burst into tears. – I can't believe this is happening!

Patrick grimaced. He ran out of words. Then he asked. – Have you met his kids yet?

­­– I've just seen them once, that day, when I went to the hospital.

Patrick nodded. – You know his mom?

– No. He's keeping me out, right?

Patrick sighed again. – Look, I kind of understand him. Maybe he thinks it's too soon to have you around his children Brooke. You know these things are not that simple. Maybe it's just a matter of time and…

– A matter of time?! I've been seeing him 4 fucking months Patrick! I think it's about time! And what does that have to do with meeting _my family_ anyway?!

– Uh… well. Okay, I've got to admit it really surprised me when you told me he hadn't met them yet.

Brooke kept replaying in her mind the last four months. – That time… did he call you to let you know we were not going to the cabin?

– What cabin?

– On Halloween.

– Yeah, when I asked him to come he told me you had other plans and couldn't make it.

– Oh God…

– What?

Tears kept falling through Brooke's cheeks. – I dressed up, I… I even got a costume for him!

­– What you're talking about?

– He let me think we were going with you and then came with a story about a hospital emergency! Just like he did on my dad's birthday! –she assured, frantic. Her heart was broken. She couldn't believe Jack was a liar. He had been lying to her for God knows how long.

Patrick shook his head in disapproval. – Brooke… I don't know why he's lying to you, it's so not like him… But what I do know is that it's not fair for you. If he's not sure about his feelings, he should be honest and tell you. –he affirmed.

She wiped her tears and tried to calm down. Hundred questions came to her mind, crazy thoughts crossing her. – His wife, did you know her?

– Yeah, a couple of times. She wasn't much of a people person.

– What happened with her?

He swallowed. – You don't know?

– I know she died in a car crash. But he never wants to talk about it. Patrick I… I need you to tell me… why is it some sort of secret? Why I have the feeling it's forbidden to talk about her?

Patrick gave her a set look. – I don't think it is a secret Brooke. It was on the papers. You can…

– I'm not going to Google it! –she snapped furious.

– I'm not saying that. What I mean is you should ask him openly, just like you're asking me.

– I have! I've asked him! Like I've asked him about the plane crash and about his kids and his family! But he never says a fucking thing! I need to know! –she said, her eyes threatening.

Patrick rubbed his temples and then met her eyes. – Brooke, I… I don't think I'm the one supposed to tell you what you want to know about him. But you're my best friend and I love you… So, if you really want to know, just ask me. I'll tell you everything. –he said determined, a concerned and fearful look in his eyes.

But Brooke knew it wasn't fair to ask him to betray Jack's trust. After all, they were good friends. She shouldn't be involving Patrick in the situation. – You're right. You're not the one supposed to tell me. Jack is. And he's going to tell me right now. –she assured determined, as she stood up of the chair and grabbed her purse.

Patrick opened his eyes wide. – Brooke! Where are you going?! Wait!

– Thanks for lunch Patrick. –she said as she walked out of the restaurant with anger and tears in her eyes.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

Jackie's swimming competition was over by 3:00 pm. She was first place in crawl style, making her dad incredibly proud. She was a winner, just like him. All the family had been there to see her. Aaron, Charlene and Brett were cheering for her all the time, encouraged by Hurley. Margo didn't stop clapping and Claire took hundred pictures. The only one missing was Charlie, who was in London recording some tracks for his new album.

When Jackie got to the finishing line and came out of the pool, an absolutely thrilled Jack took her in his arms and lifted her, getting totally soaked. He kept repeating to her how proud she had made him, a huge smile on his face proving his excitement.

All the family went home. Jackie fell asleep on the way, exhausted by the physical effort she'd made. Jack carried her to her room and placed her on the bed. He gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek.

Then he went downstairs and excused himself as every Saturday afternoon. It was time to go see Brooke. He got to the condo feeling happy and nonchalant. He used the keys to get inside. Once in, he found the apartment strangely silent. He went to the living room and Brooke wasn't there, neither in the dining room. He sneaked to the kitchen and saw she wasn't there either. Maybe she was taking a shower, he thought.

He walked the corridor to the bedroom and found Brooke sitting on the bed, facing the window, embracing her legs against her chest, her gaze lost in the horizon. Even though she was right there, she seemed absent. He leaned on the door frame, disconcerted by her image. There was something wrong.

– Hey… –he said feebly, almost shy.

But Brooke didn't reply, which he found even more disturbing. He approached her, worried, and sat beside her. – Brooke… Are you okay? –he asked, not daring to touch her. When he looked at her, he noticed her eyes puffed up and red. She had been crying for sure. His concern grew more as he waited for her answer, which took forever to arrive.

– Jack… at what time is your flight leaving? –she asked in a low voice, not looking at him.

– What? –he asked back, disconcerted.

– To New York…For the wedding?

He looked down, uneasiness growing inside him. – Uh… I… I don't know, um… Before noon, I think. Honestly, I don't remember. –he said as he stood up to avoid her sight. Then he walked to the bathroom to wash his hands. When he came out, Brooke was in the same position, motionless, still facing the window. Now he could only see her back turned on him.

As he came close to her, he was stopped by her voice saying: – Of course you don't know, because you're not taking any flight, are you?

He went pale. – What?

– I just met Patrick… We had lunch together…

_Oh boy_…, he thought as he started feeling tense. Knowing what was certainly coming, he remained silent. Brooke went on. – He… he didn't even know we were going to the cabin on Halloween… and he… he told me his secretary didn't book your tickets… –She finally stood up and turned back to face him. – Since when have you been lying to me Jack? –she asked frontally, an accusing look in her eyes.

Jack felt his throat constrict. – Brooke… I…

Yet she went on, anger growing inside her. – And the wedding… you even told Ilana you'd be there! But you're just planning on standing me up again! Just like you did on my father's birthday! –she affirmed, raising her voice.

– Brooke this is not…

– Don't try to deny it Jack! Patrick told me about the surgery. You knew all the time you were not going to the party! And you let me believe it was unexpected and that you were so sorry, just as you did on Halloween! Now you were going to do it again! How can you do this to me?! –she questioned, frantic, her eyes watering.

Jack shook his head and breathed deeply. – This is not what it looks like. I can explain, believe me. I just forgot to tell you…

She cut him off. – You forgot to tell me?! You forgot to tell me?! As you forgot to tell me your wife died? As you forgot to tell me you have children or that you've been married _twice_? Or as you forgot to tell me you were in a massive aerial disaster? Well, guess what?! I'm _through_ with your oblivions! –she snapped, yelling.

Jack froze. He had never seen her so enraged. – Brooke, please, I…

– What are we doing here Jack? What's this all about? –she questioned, walking around the bedroom as a caged lion.

He raised an eyebrow and threw a questioning look. – What you mean?

– What's going on between us, exactly?

– You want a definition of what we have? –he asked, disbelief in his voice.

– Hell yes! I _do_ need a definition because, I don't know about you, but me, I'm just starting feeling like a very expensive whore!

Jack's jaw dropped. – Oh God, Brooke! How can you even say that?! –he retorted, indignant.

– Give me one reason for not to! You have me in your apartment every weekend, you pay for my flights, you come, you fuck me and you're gone. Jeez! Sounds like a hooker to me! –she said furious and sarcastic.

– What the hell are you talking about? You know it's not like that!

– Then what it is?! I've been coming here 16 weekends in a row Jack, and I don't even know where you live! And your kids… you never mention them! Sometimes I almost forget they exist! That's so wrong! I don't know your mother either!

– If this is all about meeting my mother and kids, just get in the car, I'll take you with them… –he said desperate.

– You just don't get it! I want you _to want _to take me with them! You're keeping me out! You share nothing with me! I'm sick of just being this permanent vacation you escape to whenever you feel like it!

That statement enraged Jack. – Permanent vacation?! How can you say that? Don't you know what you mean to me? Don't you feel it every time I touch you?! –he snapped, starting raising his voice.

– You're not even able to say it! You never say anything! I want to be a part of your life and you just don't let me in!

– Of course you're a part of my life!

– No I'm not! –she snapped fiercely. – Every time I ask you about your family, your past or who you _really _are, you just shut down! And now you lie to me! If you don't want to be in _my_ life either, you can just say it!

– It's not like that Brooke, and you know it! –he stated, his eyes full of anger and despair.

But she didn't listen. – I barely see my friends and my family! I've even put off my plans of becoming a partner at work! I live to make time to see you! I don't know who I am anymore! –she said anguished.

– I never asked for any of that. –he snapped coldly.

– I know! I do it because I love you! –she confessed, her voice breaking and finally bursting into tears. –Jack's eyes opened wider. He never expected to hear it at that moment. Brooke went on. – There! I just said it! I know you don't care, I know you don't want to hear it, but it's true!

– Of course I care, Brooke, and I…

But she interrupted him again. – I know what's this all about Jack. You think I'm not worth it. That's why you don't want me to even speak the names of your children. That's why you never want to talk about your wife. You think I'm not as good as her! –she affirmed in tears.

The minute Jack heard that, he finally lost his temper. He hated the fact of Brooke feeling less than Kate. The truth, painful as it was to admit it, was that Kate had never been half the woman Brooke was. – Don't you _ever_ compare yourself to Kate! –he yelled, his voice menacing, a burning gaze in his eyes.

But Brooke took it otherwise. – I'm not comparing myself to her! It's never been my intention to replace her or fill her shoes! All I want is to share my life with you and be a part of yours as well!

Jack wasn't reasoning anymore. His demons had already taken control over him. – What's exactly what you want Brooke, huh? You want to meet my mother and sister so you can play bridge with them every Thursday? You want to play mom to my kids? So one day you get to wake up and say "You know what? This _sucks_!" and then just walk away! –he shouted scathingly.

Brooke couldn't believe her ears. – I'd never do that! –she assured frantic.

– You all do it! –he affirmed. Then he approached her violently and cornered her against the wall. – So tell me, what do you really want from me?!

Tears kept falling from Brooke's eyes uncontrollably. When he looked at her he saw fear in her gaze. He let go off her and turned around, covering his face with his hands, breathing deeply.

Brooke used all the strength left in her body to speak. – I want to know what happened with your wife. I want you to tell me about that island. I want to know how you got those tattoos and what they mean. I want to know about your father. I want to know what's Jackie's favorite bedtime story and Brett's favorite cereal. I want to know all the things you never want to tell!

– And why you need to know all that?! –he asked enraged. – What difference does it make?

– Because I deserve it! –she cried out loud. – I want you to share your life with me! I want you to love me! To settle for just living in this parallel world of yours, I can't do it anymore Jack. I want it all, I want your soul! –she claimed.

He stiffened and turned back to face her. He stared at her with a cruel look. – Then we're done here. –he snapped, and immediately walked away, without giving her the chance to stop him.

The last thing Brooke heard was the thud of the slamming door of the apartment. She ran to the window and after a couple of minutes, she saw him getting quickly in his car without looking up. Then he drove away.

As she saw him leaving, an unbearable pain undertook her, making her kneel at the foot of the window and cry her heart out. She wasn't even able to say it in her mind. Jack had just broken up with her.


	40. Chapter 40

Hi there! New chap., long chap., expected chap. You get to know what happened to Kate, at last. And please tell me something, is it me or this chapter is sad?

P.S. I added a ruler so you won't get confused between Jack's memories and the narration itself.

**Chapter 40**

As Jack drove away from the condo, he felt like burning inside. He soon found himself speeding up with no apparent direction. He kept driving for about an hour, replaying in his head what had just happened.

_Why Brooke, why? Damn it!_, he kept saying to himself. At that moment, he couldn't understand why she couldn't be content with him and just him. Why she needed more? Why everybody always expected something from him? She wanted his soul. _His soul_. If he even had one, it was too much to ask for, he thought.

Soon the sun began to set. Now he was really far from home. When he came back to reality, he started recognizing the road. His heart beat faster when he noticed where he was. Without realizing, he had taken the Interstate 5 freeway. He pulled over abruptly at the first viewing-point he spotted. He couldn't believe it. He was at the exact place where Kate had crashed the day she died.

Almost hyperventilating, a big wave of memories came to his mind. He saw his life with Kate flashing before his eyes. He remembered the very first time he saw her, the very first time they kissed and how she finally stopped running to stay with him after they got rescued from the island…

* * *

As they were boarding the ship to leave, Jack still couldn't believe they were finally going home. One by one they got on, and every second he was waiting for someone to start the fire and kill them all, or for another unexpected danger or complication to frustrate their departure. 

He had learnt just few days ago that Claire was his sister, her father's daughter. Juliet told him, before giving him the file the Others had about his life. He was blown away. Not that he found surprising his dad had one lost and unknown daughter, but he found stunning the fact of getting to meet her under those circumstances. What were the odds, right? Crash on the same island with his unknown sister, helping her somehow with her baby, his nephew, neither of them being aware of it. Amazing, he always thought. Maybe Locke had been right all the time and some things are really meant to happen in certain way.

Claire, on the other hand, had learnt from Desmond. One day of desperation, she was crying her heart out believing they would all die on the island without anybody giving a damn. She had given up, her faith was finally gone. She never felt more lost in her life.

Then Desmond came to her with calm in his eyes and his voice. He told her to smile and shine, because one of her most precious wishes was about to become true. _What wish?,_ she asked. _The one of having a real family for your child_, he replied. She looked back at Desmond with confusion in her gaze, and he knew she needed more details. He threw her a short smile and announced: _You have a brother and you'll soon meet him again._

She frowned. _Again? What you mean again? Where is he?_, she asked puzzled. _He's on this very same island_, Desmond affirmed. As if she'd had an epiphany, Claire's eyes opened wider. It had to be him, she thought frantic. She asked Charlie to watch Aaron for a moment, ignoring his yelling and demands for explanations. She went to her secret spot, the one she always ran to when she felt like writing on her diary. After he had been taken, she had removed his things from his former tent and kept them there. She never told anyone, because she could not think of a decent explanation to do it. She just felt she had to.

So there she was, digging in the sand with anxiety and excitement at the same time. When she took his backpack, the one he had after the plane crashed, she knew she had to find in there some proof of what Desmond had just told her. She sneaked into it and found some medicines, Kate's mug shot, a T-shirt, his ID and yes, his wallet. She opened it and searched, her hands shaking every second. When she found it, she almost blacked out. It was a picture of Jack, and _her_ father was there, holding him. Jack was her brother, the son of her father. Then she ran to tell Charlie, and the world.

The day they were finally rescued, all the survivors were waiting at the dock. Claire was waiting with huge expectation to see Jack. She even affirmed she wouldn't leave if he didn't get on board with her. _Then we'll both stay_, Charlie told her. Desmond approached them and said there was nothing to fear, since Jack was coming soon. _Stay with me_, Desmond told Claire, _I'll take you to him_, he promised.

And so he did. Soon after, a little boat anchored at the dock. Then Jack, Sawyer, Kate, Locke, Sayid and Juliet came down. The minute their gazes met, they knew. She had no doubt as neither had him. Somehow, they could recognize their father in each other's eyes. Then Desmond took her hand and walked to Jack. _I give you your sister_, he said, placing Claire's hand in his. They couldn't utter a word. They could do nothing but hold each other tight and burst into tears, feeling their blood relation running in their bodies, while everybody looked at them stunned. They knew they were not alone anymore. No matter what happened, they would always have each other. Then he felt the immediate urge to hold Aaron. They were a family. They became inseparable from that moment on.

Then the ship arrived. They would be taken to mainland, back to Australia, where they would board a plane. Jack and Claire were holding hands, while he was carrying Aaron. Charlie was right beside them, and Hurley followed them close.

Once on the plane, they took the 15th row. Charlie sat at the window, then Claire in the middle and Jack at the end. Hurley was one row behind. Dazed by his encounter with Claire, Jack forgot for an instant about Kate, until he saw her walking the corridor, guarded by a man who was probably a marshal. He followed her with the gaze until he lost sight of her. She had been taken to the front rows of the plane. They were not in the best terms at that moment, but still he felt concerned with the idea of her going to jail. He needed to figure out a way to help her, he thought at the moment.

It was a long flight and all the passengers were jittery and hysterical. Everybody remained uncomfortably silent, holding their breath. The slightest air bag, the tiniest turbulence or vibration, was reason enough to panic. Many of them had to be sedated. Others got sick and kept throwing up. Others, like Jack, were nervous but tried to remain calmed, expectant.

As the hours went by, people started falling asleep, unbelievable as it was. Jack, of course, couldn't. Yet Aaron, then 2 years old, was sleeping comfortably on his chest. Claire, feeling safe and relieved, was also asleep with a gesture of peace on her face. Charlie also managed to take a nap.

They were taken to Houston, to the NASA Headquarters, absurd as it was. Now all the survivors were in custody of the U.S. Government. They wanted to make sure the survivors were not carrying some infection or disease, or that they really were who they claimed to be. Authorities had to make sure they'd got all the leaders and members of the Dharma Initiative –or what was left of it– captive, so the aberration that happened on that island never repeated again.

Interrogations were endless. Each one of the survivors had to make a statement of the events, which was recorded in video. Doctors, scientists, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, priests and even psychics, everybody wanted to hear the story and made the impossible to arrange interviews and meetings with them.

Some of them narrated what they saw and/or heard. Others told what they thought they had seen or heard. Some more told what had happened to other people as if it had happened to them.

But the stories that interested the most were the ones of those who were really in the eye of the storm, those who got to really see what the island was about and were close to the so called Others, the people who were on the island before the plane crashed.

Therefore, Jack's testimony was one of the most appealing of all. Not only because he had spent the most time with those Others, but also because every single survivor had mentioned him at least once. Some of them said he had saved their life. Other ones admitted he was the leader. But what almost all the survivors agreed on was that he did everything he could to keep everybody alive and safe, and that he had been a key element to finally get off the island.

After repeating the same things and answering the same zillion questions everybody made, the survivors were released after 4 days of exhausting investigations.

All of them were compensated for the damages and losses they experienced for the plane crash. They were asked where they wanted to be sent or located to start over or go on with their lives. Jack and Claire talked about it. Of course she agreed on going to L.A. and stay near him. Therefore, Charlie would go too. So did Hurley.

They were put on a plane again, but this time they took it easier. At last, they got to Los Angeles. The minute they tried to step out of the airport, a voracious horde of reporters and media was waiting for them. Jack had never been big on crowds, but this time it was over the top. It was even scary.

A security staff was arranged to help them get out and reach the van that was driving them to the Shephard's residence. Directions were given to them to accomplish the task. They would be taken to the van one by one. Hurley was first. Then Charlie, and Claire was next.

Whilst Jack was waiting for his turn, he was holding Aaron in his arms. He was watching Claire between the mob with anxiety and concern, breathing deeply to stay calm. He had to take care of his nephew, who was crying out loud, scared by the buzz and frenzy of the media outside.

He was ready to go out when somebody grabbed hold of his hand. He turned his head and couldn't believe his eyes. It was Kate, who stared at him with a determined look of complicity, the one she always gave him when she was certain about something they both agreed on. From that moment on, he knew she would stay with him, no matter what. He nodded to her and she blinked her eyes, and then they came out of the airport together.

Margo almost dropped dead when she opened the door and saw her son not only alive, but with a baby in his arms, two women by his side and two men behind. After letting her recover from the shock, he introduced Hurley and Charlie. Then he introduced Claire, and had some trouble to tell who she was. But Margo didn't need to hear it, she knew since the second she looked in Claire's eyes. Then Jack introduced Kate, telling his mother she was the woman he loved.

After telling Margo all there was to be told, Jack finally had a moment with Kate alone. They were at Jack's former bedroom, now turned into a studio. She explained that the police considered she had already paid her debt to society after all she had been through on the island, and with Edward Mars dead, they decided to just drop the case.

Then she told him she loved him, always had and always would. He said he loved her back, which she already knew. Then that long time coming kiss arrived, full of hope, passion, longing and lust at the same time. They got rid of each other's clothes and finally merged their bodies in one true, pure and devoted act of love. Six weeks later, Kate found out she was pregnant. Jackie was on her way.

Little by little, they all began rebuilding their lives. They got the houses where they lived on to this day. Charlie and Claire got married with a big cheery party. Jack and Kate, on the other hand, just stick to a very private ceremony.

Jack went back to work at the hospital and soon was appointed Chief of Surgery. Charlie resumed his music career and released his first very acclaimed solo album. Hurley was a millionaire, so he spent his time looking for a reason to spend his money, finding in Aaron and Jackie an excellent excuse. Claire and Kate became pretty housewives. They were all a whole brand new happy family.

Kate and Jack built a nice marriage. This time, she didn't pretend to be a perfect wife, like when she was married to Kevin. There were no mysteries between her and Jack, he knew everything there was to know about her, so she was just herself. She managed the household in a practical way and wasn't much of a spender. Claire had to beg her to go with her to the salon or to go shopping for new clothes. She always ended up buying things for the kids.

She wasn't great on style and wasn't a fan of fancy dresses and high heels. That's why she hated when Jack had to attend parties or events with his colleagues. She hated to dress up. Sometimes, Jack wished she was more womanly, 'cause he definitely appreciated sexy clothes, styled hair and that kind of feminine details. But since she was very good in bed, she indulged him with other talents to compensate her scarce sexiness.

Some nights they both woke up in panic, caused by the nightmares they still had from their island days. Sometimes only she woke up, some others he did, but they learnt to live with it.

Later on came Brett, and Jack thought life couldn't be more perfect. It should be the reward for the hell they had experienced, he always thought. He was a devoted father and husband, and she would kill again for her family. She was absolutely proud of her husband and children. They were happy, and it was supposed to last forever.

But it didn't. The day Kate died, Jack had to operate on a very fucked up patient. It was going to be a long and complicated procedure, and Kate knew it. He wouldn't be home for dinner. Jack had finally managed to lower his guard, so he didn't notice Kate had been weird and jittery the last couple of weeks. He just thought she was on her PMS.

He left home in the morning and drove the kids to school, as always. Kate went on with her usual week-day routine. She went to the market with Claire and they had a nice chat, as they always did. Then they both went to pick up the kids at school.

Charlie was arriving from a tour, so Claire went home and didn't stay over for supper. Then Kate fed Jackie and Brett and helped Jackie with her homework. She had a hard time with that, 'cause Jackie had been very stubborn and fussy the whole day. Brett was 2 years old then, so all he cared about was playing with his legos.

When the night came, she had dinner alone with the kids. Then she put them in their pajamas and made them brush their teeth. She lulled Brett to sleep and then went to Jackie's bedroom to read her a bedtime story. She explained to her daughter daddy was working late, so this time mommy was reading for her. Jackie accepted reluctantly.

She finished reading the story and Jackie wasn't even drowsy. Kate sighed in despair and begged her to sleep. Jackie didn't want to. _Why you don't want to sleep?_ Kate asked. _Because I don't want you to leave_, Jackie replied. Kate raised an eyebrow and decided to sing a song to her daughter. Finally, Jackie closed her eyes. Kate stopped singing and covered her with the blanket, placing carefully her stuffed bunny under her arm.

Then she walked to the door and the second she turned off the light, Jackie pleaded: _Mommy, stay with me_. _Jackie, please, you know it's time to sleep_, she begged. _No, mommy, please don't go_. Kate approached the bed and threw her daughter a questioning look. _Don't go where?_ She asked. _To that place you're going,_ Jackie replied. _Don't go mommy. I'm not going anywhere_, Kate affirmed caressing her cheek. Then Jackie gave her mom the saddest look she'd ever had and closed her eyes, hoping what she had said was true.

Jack got home at 11:00 pm, exhausted. Kate asked how the surgery went, and he told her satisfied the patient was fine. He was so tired, he rather not eat and went straight to the bedroom, taking Kate by the hand.

Once in there she kissed him softly, and in spite of his weariness, she seduced him and they made love. She made a wreck out of him, of course. He was so profoundly sleep, he didn't feel when she got up of the bed and sneaked to the bathroom to get dressed. He didn't feel when she kissed him sweetly on the lips.

He didn't hear when she went to Brett's room and kissed his cheek, neither when she entered Jackie's room and kissed her head with a smile on her face. He didn't hear when she started her SUV and drove away.

What he did hear were the hysteric screams of Jackie, who woke up in frantic crying. He got up and noticed Kate wasn't on the bed. She sure was at Jackie's bedroom, he thought. He went fast to check on his daughter and found her almost in a catatonic state. She kept crying for her mother, calling her insanely. Jack noticed Kate wasn't there. _Kate? Kate?_ He yelled, but she didn't reply. Jackie's screams had awoken Brett, who began crying too. _Kate? Kate?!__Where are you?! Can you check on Brett?_ He shouted. Then he stared at her daughter, concerned to death. _Jackie, what's going on? Mommy, mommy_, was all she was saying. She sure had a nightmare, he thought_. Honey take it easy, you just had a nightmare, mommy's coming,_ he assured, holding her to his chest.

Then the phone rang and he literally jolted when he heard it. Who could be calling at that time? He checked on Jackie's wall clock and saw it was almost 4:00 am. He rushed to pick up, wondering annoyed where the hell was Kate. It was Derek, calling from the hospital. Kate had wrecked her car and was in the ER. He felt like choking, how could that happen? It didn't make any sense. He hung up and immediately called Claire. In a minute she was there and he asked her to watch the kids.

He got on his car and drove to the hospital in vertiginous speed. When he was about to burst into the ER, a distorted Patrick tried to stop him, but Jack pushed him violently to get him out of the way. When he finally came in, he found Derek and a whole crew of interns and nurses with long faces. _Jack I'm so sorry,_ Derek said with teary eyes. _She died in the ambulance_, he managed. Jack thought he had to be in Jackie's nightmare. He felt the world collide. What the hell was going on? That couldn't be happening. His wife was back home, taking care of his children.

He approached the table and looked. She was Kate indeed. He fell into a denial state. For almost an hour, he kept silent and still, sitting beside the table. Then Andrea came and feebly told him a police officer wanted to talk to him. That was when he hit the ground. He went straight to Derek and knocked him down_. What the fuck happened? Tell me! Tell me!_ _What's my wife doing on the street?_ He asked screaming. The police officer had to control him, but he was like a raging bull at the moment. Patrick had no choice but inject him a sedative.

Then Jack was taken to the accident scene, at the Interstate 5 freeway. The police explained a flat tire and the excess of speed made the SUV tip over and fall into a cliff, right before a viewing-point. Though the cliff wasn't so deep, the paramedics had trouble pulling her out of the vehicle. She was seriously injured and had lost a lot of blood. Unfortunately, the closest hospital equipped enough to attend her injuries was St. Sebastian, which was half hour away from the crash point. She went flat line by the time the ambulance hit the Emergency Zone.

Derek's shift was almost ending and Patrick was already there to start his. Derek sweat the shit out trying to resuscitate her, without even knowing she was Kate, but he couldn't, she had been flat line 4 minutes. Then he called her dead. Patrick went in and froze when he saw who she was. He told Derek she was Jack's wife. Derek's hand began shaking and he rushed to make the call.

The police interrogated Jack at the very crash scene. They asked him if he was having troubles with his wife, if they'd had a fight or if she or he had a lover. He denied all of it. They said they'd call him if they needed to ask him something else.

Then he went home and told Claire what had happened and then rushed to the bathroom to throw up. Claire burst into tears, not believing her ears. She called Charlie immediately. Then she called Margo and finally Hurley.

They all got there in the blink of an eye. No one understood what was going on and kept asking Jack questions he didn't have answers to. Margo arranged the funeral.

When the morning came, Jack went to her daughter's room. With tears in his eyes, he tried to explain as well as he could that her mom was gone. Tears rolled over Jackie's cheeks and then she nodded, asking any further questions about it, which Jack found unbelievable.

After the autopsy, the police had given him a final report of the accident. They also delivered him a bag with Kate's belongings. Among them he found an ATM receipt. She had withdrawn all the cash she had in the account where Jack deposited her monthly spending money. He also found a letter. He didn't even need to read it to know, but he read it anyway. Kate was leaving him and running away.

At the funeral, everybody was crying the hell out, except Jack. He just couldn't. He felt numb. And from that moment on, he hated her. She was a betrayer, a liar, a cheater. She made him believe she loved him just to rip his heart apart. She had done it beautifully, he thought. _Again._ What he couldn't believe was that she hadn't given a damn for her kids and simply abandoned them too.

* * *

The loud horn of a heavy truck made Jack come back to Earth. He felt devastated, but he had come to a conclusion. He didn't want to be there when Brooke disappointed him. He didn't want to be there for her to break his heart. He had already hurt her, and he didn't want to give her the chance to hurt him back. 

So far, she was perfect, and he wanted her to remain like that. What she had made him feel, her love, her smile, her beautiful eyes, would live in his heart forever. That way, when he thought of her, he would be able to smile and remember what it felt like to be loved.


	41. Chapter 41

Finally!!! I tried thw whole weekend to upload this chaps. and I just couldn't, the site was not working, but here I am... In this chap., I'm kind of doubtful, is Patrick in love with Brooke or not? What you think? And in the next one, is Brooke going nuts? Or she's just sad? Tell me tell me please ;)

Foxy4ever, all my loving to you, thanks for your wonderful message.

Enjoy...

**Chapter 41**

Back in New York, Brooke had turn into an emotional mess. She kept saying to herself this was just a disagreement between Jack and her, and kept thinking he'd call her any minute. But when she saw he was not calling, severe anxiety attacks came to her body. She hadn't told a soul she had broken up with him, not even Ilana, 'cause in her mind that wasn't happening at all.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday went on, and he hadn't called her. On Thursday, she still had a moment when she believed Jack was showing up at the wedding on Saturday. She even felt content and thought it would be absolutely Hollywood-type romantic.

On Friday, Ilana's rehearsal was held. Brooke was cool and even content, unaware that she was actually rehearsing for being at her best friend's wedding with a happy smile and a broken heart, for real.

When she woke up on Saturday morning and Jack still hadn't called, it started sinking in. Feeling like she had million thorns nailed in her heart, she went to the salon to have her hair done. Then she went back to her apartment and started doing her make-up, covering her face, her eyes, her lips, but especially her sadness, in expensive cosmetics.

When she was done with her make-up, she got into the beautiful coral gown. She put on earrings, a necklace and a bracelet on her left wrist. On the other wrist she was still wearing the bracelet Jack gave her. Then she put on her heels and was ready to go.

Since she was the maid of honor, Ilana arranged a special car to pick her up and drive her. On the way, a dark feeling of infinite sadness grew inside her. Her hope of seeing Jack standing outside the church waiting for her was fading away every minute.

When the driver stopped in front of the church, she thought for a second Jack was there when she saw a tall man facing backwards. But he soon turned around and she saw it wasn't him. She knew it was time to face it: Jack wasn't going to be there, not now and probably never again. She started shaking and found herself with no strength to get out of the car.

But she knew she had to put herself together. Her best friend was getting married and she couldn't allow anything ruin her happiness. She breathed deeply and remembered her days as a model. It didn't matter if there was sun or rain, if it was cold, if she was sick or sad, or if somebody had died. She had to smile and look pretty, because that was her job, as it was at that moment. She shook her head and sighed, then she thanked the driver with the best impassive smile she had ever thrown and gracefully got off the car, ready to walk the runway.

Ilana was standing backwards, but the minute she sensed Brooke's presence, she turned around. Her smile disappeared when she saw Brooke alone, and she opened her eyes wide in concern.

– Where's Jack? –she asked immediately, concern in her voice.

– He's not coming. –Brooke replied nonchalant.

– Why?! What's going on?

– Nothing. Hospital emergency. –she assured, not looking in her eyes.

Ilana frowned. – You're lying to me.

– Why would I lie to you?

Ilana looked down, disconcerted. She was obviously very emotional and her eyes started watering, thinking of the worse. Brooke spoke. – Hey… everything's fine. Remember what you told me? _This_ is what sucks about having a doctor boyfriend, huh? But I'm here, and this is your special day, that's all that matters, okay? –she said sweetly with an honest smile, running her fingers through her veil.

Ilana raised an eyebrow, suspicious. Then she grabbed Brooke's hand. She felt relieved when she saw Jack's bracelet was still in her wrist. She was too nervous and excited to notice Brooke was not being honest. She gave it a rest and believed her. – Damn, what a pity, that son of a bitch owes me big time! –Ilana affirmed shaking her head.

– He sure does. –Brooke retorted. – So, are you ready?

– I am. –Ilana replied jittery.

It was a beautiful and emotive ceremony. Brooke had to block her ears whilst the priest was giving his speech, 'cause if she listened to him talking about love and commitment, she'd sure burst into tears. Her mind was million miles away. She just kept playing her role.

Outside the church, she posed on every single picture she had to be in. Then she got on the limo with the bride and the groom, as well as the other bride's maids and the best man, to go to the garden where the reception was going to be held. When they arrived, Patrick was already there, waiting. He had seen neither Brooke nor Jack since that afternoon when he had lunch with her.

The minute he saw her getting out of the car, he knew. She looked stunning and was definitely smiling like a movie star. But Patrick knew her enough to buy her act.

– Hey… –he told Brooke, throwing her a sympathetic look.

Brooke, of course, had a strong bond with him and knew he had noticed. She just looked away. – Please don't ask.

– Ask what? –he said with calm in his voice.

– Anything.

– I wasn't going to. So, I guess it's just you and me this time, like in the old days, huh? –he said with that smug attitude of his.

– Oh yeah. –she replied.

Then they both took their places at the table. Brooke almost cried when she saw the missing spots of Marion's and Jack's chairs.

The reception went on and Ilana was thrilled. Brooke had really put together an amazing party, everything was perfect, the napkins included. Brooke managed to enjoy it, sort of, having a nice chat with Patrick and also dancing with him.

Soon came the time for her to make the toast for the newly weds. She knew her speech by heart. She had written it one morning when she was waiting for Jack at his apartment. The night before they'd made love and Jack had been particularly passionate and sweet. That gave her the inspiration and a vivid idea of what love was all about.

Now she had to stand up and say it, really meaning it, with the love of her life missing and a hole in her soul. When she was announced, she glanced at Patrick with an anguished look. He cast her a short smile and nodded in complicity, meaning she could handle it.

Finally, after taking a deep breath, she stood up and lifted her glass.

– I lift my glass to Ilana and Lance, and the new family they're starting. Today we celebrate not only their wedding, but also the lesson they're giving to all of us. They've shown us we can dare to dream there's someone out there who is our soul mate, for real. They've shown us we can still believe in unconditional, committed, true love. They've shown _me_ that for this kind of love to happen, all you need is an open heart. Their marriage is living proof that fairy tales do become true. I wish for you, Ilana and Lance, all the happiness in the world, and for us sharing this moment with them, I wish we get to live a fairy tale of our own next to the one we love. Cheers…

After she finished the toast, everybody clapped and cheered. Ilana was now crying and soon after she kissed Lance. When Brooke looked around, she found the scene surreal, and that's when it finally sank in and hit her like a heavy enraged wave. She was no longer Jack's girlfriend. He didn't want to share his life with her, so he had just dumped her. An unspeakable sadness took over her heart, and she couldn't stand it anymore. Once the eyes were not longer on her, she ran to the bride's dressing room and burst into tears, crying her eyes out, because her fairy tale was over and the man she loved didn't love her back. And she didn't even get to kiss him goodbye.

She sat on the floor, her back against the wall, and just released all the tears she hadn't cried in a week. She remained there for quite a while, to the point she lost notion of time. She didn't notice when Patrick walked in. She just felt his hands gripping her shoulders, after he squatted to look for her eyes.

– Hey… –he said softly.

– Hey… –she replied, wiping her eyes.

– You okay?

– Uh… yeah, I'm just very emotional, you know… –she said, not looking at him.

Patrick joined her and sat against the wall beside her. – They're looking for you. I think they're throwing the bouquet any time soon. Melissa's going to walk in here any moment.

– Uh, yeah, I'm coming…

But Patrick stayed there, silent, waiting for her to talk. He gave her a complicity look and she just crack. – We broke up. –she confessed, her voice breaking and bursting into tears again.

He grimaced and shook his head. – Brooke I'm so sorry…

– I… He just… He doesn't love me Patrick. I thought I meant something to him. I told him I wanted it all and he just said we're done. –Brooke stated, sobbing.

– I just don't believe it. It's like you were talking about someone else. I never thought Jack was like that. –Patrick affirmed incredulous.

– Now what I'm going to do? –Brooke asked in panic, covering her face with her hands and sobbing in despair.

Patrick looked at her and affirmed determined. – You'll move on, as you always do.

– I can't Patrick. I won't be able to do it, not this time.

Patrick cupped her face in his hands. – Yes you will. –then he threw a longing look. – You should never, _ever_, cry for a man. He'll regret it Brooke, I know it. He just doesn't know what he's missing. –he declared.

– I love him Patrick, I… Why am I not good enough?

– Oh Brooke, don't you say that! This has nothing to do with you. Jack, he… he's not himself. Otherwise he'd never let you go. –But she kept sobbing and wiping her tears, which kept running nonstop through her cheeks. – Brookie, please, I know this is not easy, but you've got to try. Take one step at a time, okay? Now, you get up, fix your face and go back to the party, and tomorrow we'll figure it out, how about that? –Patrick advised, trying to lighten her up.

After she heard that, she remembered she was celebrating her best friend's wedding, so she nodded. – Okay. –she replied breathing deeply, and finally stopped crying. – Please tell Missy I'm coming.

– Of course.

Then Patrick got up and gave her his hand to help her rise as well. When he lifted her up, he noticed the bracelet in her wrist and gave her a questioning look. – I can't take it off. He's got the key. –she explained.

He nodded and left the dressing room, whilst Brooke went to the mirror and put herself together again. She fixed her hair and make-up, and once she was ready, she went back to "model mode" and drew on her face a winning smile, which she kept until Ilana and Lance left the celebration to go on their 2 week honeymoon.

Meanwhile, back in Los Angeles, Jack was ending a hell of a week. Since he had broken up with Brooke, he had lost his grip again, just as it happened when he divorced Sarah and when Kate died. He was the epitome of fury and everybody around him resented it. At the hospital, he kept yelling to interns, residents and nurses at the lamest excuse. He couldn't stand the presence of none of his friends, not even Marion.

At home, he had to use all the patience he didn't have to deal with the kids and not take it on them. Yet he was being rude and bitter with Margo, Claire and poor Hurley. They all noticed his abrupt change of mood and got worried. They knew there was something definitely wrong, but didn't dare to ask at that moment.

Besides being a bad-ass, he did another crazy thing. He subscribed to Brooke's paper and to every single well-known fashion magazine there was. He was obsessed with finding at least a mention of her, and he wanted to keep track of what she was writing. But Brooke wasn't exactly focusing on work, so she had Irene covering her. In every page Jack read, he couldn't find a trace of her, and that incredibly frustrated him.

Yet that changed on Sunday. Since Ilana was an acknowledged book editor, her wedding made the papers. He felt like shooting himself when he saw one of the pictures. Ilana and Lance were leaving the reception between the clapping hands of their guests. And right behind them was Brooke, widely smiling in their direction whilst Patrick had his arm around her waist and looked at her content, with a satisfying smile on his face. That was it for Jack. He felt like burning inside and an insane madness possessed him. How could she be smiling like that? How dared him to hold his girl? He felt unbearably jealous. Rage didn't let him sleep that night.

The next day, he tried to locate Patrick as soon as he got to the hospital. But since Patrick had been out of the city for over a week, he had a full schedule. But Jack waited for the moment, like a predator waits for its prey.

At 8:23 pm, Aimee, Patrick's secretary, called Dr. Shephard's extension and let him know Dr. Mayer was finally out of surgery and back in his office, as Jack had ordered her. Within a minute he stepped into Patrick's office pounding abruptly the door. He scared the shit out of Patrick, who stared at him stunned.

– You had a pretty busy day. –Jack told him sternly.

Patrick raised an eyebrow. He was definitely not in the mood to speak or even look at Jack. – Yeah. –he replied, standing up from his armchair.

– Well, I've got to say I'm impressed. It must be exhausting, especially after _that_ weekend you had. –Jack said wryly.

Patrick got the message, but he wasn't willing to get into his game. – Is there anything you need Jack? –he asked politely, now standing in front of him.

Jack threw him a set look. – I didn't know you were a back stabber. –he assured.

– What are you talking about? –asked Patrick, trying to avoid the confrontation.

– You just _had_ to tell her, right? You just couldn't wait.

– I had to tell _who what_?

– Don't fuck with me Patrick. You know I'm talking about Brooke.

Patrick's face went long. – Well, I don't remember signing any privacy policy to back up your lies. –he replied reproachfully.

– Oh, so you just saved her from me, didn't you?

Patrick gave him a disgusted look. – When did you become a liar Jack?

That question enraged Jack and he started raising his voice. – Marion's right. You have feelings for Brooke. –he affirmed, slamming his fist against the desk.

– _Of course_ I have feelings for her! I've told you zillion times she's like my sister.

Jack threw that wry smile of his. – Come on Patrick, just cut that sister shit. You're in love with her! –he snapped to his face.

Now Patrick had lost his temper. – You're being so incredibly stupid, you just don't get it! _Any_ man on Earth would be grateful to have her. She's one of a kind, Jack. I'd be damn lucky if she put her eyes on me. That time, when I found her at the book party, for a second I thought maybe fate had brought her back to me. But then she fell in love with you, and I felt absolutely happy for you both, and I mean it! I just want the best for her and I thought you would give her what she deserves. I thought you were man enough for her. Because God knows I don't deserve her! I thought you did, but I was wrong. –Patrick snapped, yelling at him.

Jack ran out of words. He knew Patrick was absolutely right. He felt defeated and looked away. He just turned his back on Patrick and started walking away. Then Patrick said from behind him: – She wants the key.

Jack turned around and asked puzzled: ­­– What?

– To take off the bracelet.

Jack felt his blood boil and turned violent. He approached Patrick and gripped him from his white coat. Then he threw him against the wall, cornering him. – If she wants that key, you tell her to _ask me_ for it herself. –he demanded with a threatening voice. Then he let go off Patrick and left his office


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

As days went by, depression became a part of Brooke's life. She wasn't sleeping and had already lost 6 pounds. Her skin was dry and her eyes had lost their glint, and she had deep dark circles beneath them. She kept crying all the time.

Brooke never had eating disorders, not even when she was a model. She enjoyed food a lot, whether making or eating it. But this time, she wasn't able to eat. She felt nauseous all day. When the clock marked the hours when Jack usually called her, or the time she used to go to the airport to catch her flight, a heavy anxiety attack undertook her. Her mind kept running wild as she kept wondering what he'd be doing at the moment. She was an emotional disgrace.

At work, she had become an unbearable bitch. She was rude and scathing. Before, when she had to make reviews or give opinions about new collections, fashion shows, designers, models or trends, she always tried to see the positive side of it. But now, she was being brutally honest and even mean. She had already ruined more than one self-esteem. Her editorials were vicious and her well earned world-fame for yelling at people never was so true. Sometimes she just wanted to shoot herself.

She hadn't seen or spoken to her parents and Terry. She just couldn't, because she knew she'd had to tell them what'd happened. She didn't want to pronounce it, because the second she said "Jack and I broke up", it'd be true. They've left zillion messages on her machine and with her assistant at work, telling her they were worried, but she hadn't returned any of their calls.

Nights had become the worst part of her day, to the point she now felt frightened of going home. There she had no one to yell at, nothing to keep her mind busy. She tried watching TV, but every time she found herself numb, her gaze lost and thinking, just thinking of him. She wished she could turn her thoughts off.

Then she tried to catch some sleep, but it always turned into a very bad idea. Lying on her bed was when she missed him the most. All she could think of were his hands, his intense eyes, the warmth of his body… Soon after she remembered his touch and his kisses, and the way he made love to her. Then she burst into tears and started feeling physical pain.

When exhaustion made her sleep, she found herself waking up in the middle of the night. Terrible nightmares were haunting her, which didn't make any sense. Other times she only dreamt of him. Some others anxiety made her awake. She opened her eyes in panic, thinking he might be seeing someone else or that he'd soon fall in love with another woman who was worth it, a woman good enough for him. The picture of him making love to another woman made her stomach convulse. She had to run to the bathroom and throw up. And that's how she started and ended her days: puking like a pregnant teenage girl.

And then came the first weekend with no trip to L.A. Now what the hell was she going to do with her weekends? She didn't want to see her friends. She thanked God that Ilana was still on her honeymoon.

She felt like dying. She was pretty fucked up. All of the sudden, her ideas about happiness being a warm gun didn't suit her anymore. Jack was right after all: sometimes you just can't be happy, even though you want to.

Jack, on the other hand, wasn't having the time of his life either. He felt annoyed all the time. He knew he was the big headline at the hospital's water cooler, especially after the fight he had with Patrick. They were not talking anymore, and therefore, his relationship with Derek and Varya had turned tricky. Marion was the only one able to handle him, 'cause she thought she understood what he was going through.

But the truth was nobody had the slightest idea. The pain of giving up on Brooke was so intense, he found it surprising. He never thought he could feel that kind of love for anybody after Kate died. He missed her like hell. Even though he was spending more time with his kids to avoid thinking of her, he just felt empty. Not even the witty remarks of Brett and the sweetness of Jackie were able to pull a smile out of him. Sorrow was back in his eyes.

At first he felt furious, but little by little he started thinking he was doomed. It seemed he would die alone after all. He kept replaying in his head what Brooke had told him the last time, and what he'd told her back. She wanted his soul, and now he was convinced he didn't have one. Yet she had given him hers, and he'd had it. But now he'd chosen to give it up and just throw it away. But if that's what he thought was best, then why he felt so miserable? He knew she had it all wrong. He was the one not worth of her.

What he regretted the most was never telling her he loved her. Now he was certain he did. She made him believe in love again, and feel it. Maybe it had been better that way, he thought. If she believed he didn't love her, she would be able to forget him faster.

But the second he thought of her forgetting him, jealousy filled his heart. He pictured her with Patrick, or maybe with Marty or some of her dad's brilliant and young lawyers, or even her ex boyfriend Ryan. She could have any guy she wanted. The idea of another man sleeping with her and touching her beautiful body or caressing her silky hair drove him nuts. He didn't want anybody to touch her ever again, she was his and only his. No, she wasn't his anymore, he had set her free.

He found himself sleeping alone again. Not that Brooke spent every night with him, but they always had a new weekend to come. And in the middle while, the picture of her and the expectation of meeting her filled his bed. It was like having her beside him all the time.

Friday without her arrived. He had not put a foot in the apartment since that fatidic day, but this time he felt the urge to go. Once he opened the door, her absence became overwhelming. The flowers she'd put in the vases had withered. There were no more tasty things in the fridge or the stove, just some groceries that were beginning to rotten.

She left behind some papers and fashion magazines on the coffee table. He glanced at them and realized now he couldn't see a cloth or a shoe without thinking of her. He cast a short wry smile. It was ridiculous.

Then he walked to the bedroom and saw the frame with their picture staring at him. A bitter-sweet feeling crossed him. He opened the closet and saw she had taken away the clothes she had placed there little by little, because she was trying to pack less every time she came.

He opened the drawers of the dressing table and found one of her sweaters. She remembered it well. It was the one she was wearing the first time the walked to the park, holding hands. She looked hell sexy in it, he recalled. He breathed on him and it still smelled of her. He felt his eyes watering. He sighed deeply and went to the bed. He laid against his back. He could feel her scent all over the sheets. He thought at that moment he would give his kingdom for having her on that bed one last time.

He covered his face with his hands and took a deep breath. He couldn't take it anymore. He went to the kitchen and took a bottle of wine that was left from their Christmas dinner. He opened it and went back to the bedroom. Then he started drinking, trying to drown his misery with every sip. He drank it all in less than 15 minutes. He got totally wasted. Soon after he fell asleep, but still a tear fell off his eyes and rolled over the pillow.

Ilana and Lance came back from their honeymoon. On Monday, when Ilana arrived to the office, she immediately went to see Brooke, to tell her everything about the trip and the places she'd visited. But she soon learnt form Irene and Samara, Brooke's assistant, she hadn't gone to work since Thursday, when she called in sick. Ilana found it absolutely awkward. Brooke never called in sick, in fact, she never got sick at all. Then Samara complaint and told her everything about Brooke's bitching and the witch she had become. _I think she's mad because the doctor hasn't called her,_ Samara ventured to say. Ilana frowned and nodded. Something was going on. She went to her office and called Claudia, and then Melissa. They both agreed on the same thing: Brooke was definitely having trouble with Jack. They didn't know anything else, 'cause Brooke wasn't taking or returning any of their calls, but they knew for a fact she hadn't gone to Los Angeles neither on Friday, nor the weekend before.

Ilana wanted to go see her immediately, but there were a couple of pending things she had to resolve and couldn't wait any longer. Yet, at lunch time, she rushed to Brooke's place. She had her door combination, so she used it to get in. All the drapes were closed, darkening the apartment. As Ilana walked to Brooke's room, she noticed the place was a mess. Whilst she wandered the living room looking for her, she could hear the stereo playing a song.

_Your eyes, they send me to eternity, your heart may cast me down to hell, I'm down… _– Brooke? – _But lately it's your love, it's condemnation enough…_ – Brookie, where are you? – _Identify, please identify, if it's me you want standing by your side…_

Ilana kept looking for her, concern growing inside her and thinking that was one damn sad song. – Honey come on, talk to me… – _Identify these tears of mine, am I lonely or am I just alive?_

_Only time decide who and why will stand its test of love… _– Brooke? – _Your hands were speaking, no? I felt the movement go… The ice was breaking so… I wonder why did I identify with you my life? To leave me empty and see if I'd survive?_

Then Ilana rushed to the bedroom. She found Brooke lying on her bed, embracing a pillow, motionless. _For every questioned hour… For every second devoured, you let me wonder you into a myth that I miss…_

Ilana went to the side of the bed and squatted, seeking for Brooke's face between her long messy hair. – Brooke? Are you asleep? –she asked softly. _Identify, please identify, if it's me you want standing by your side… Identify these tears of mine, am I lonely or am I just alive?_ _Am I lonely or am I just alive?_

Ilana lost her patience and finally jolted her. – Brooke!

Then Brooke opened her eyes and raised, startled. She stared at Ilana, abashed. – Hey… –she finally uttered.

– Sweetie, are you okay? –Ilana asked worried. She never thought she'd see the day, but at that moment, Brooke really looked like hell.

– How was your honeymoon? –Brooke asked, incoherent, whilst Ilana turned off the stereo, which had already begun playing the same song. Then she opened the drapes and went to the bed, sitting in front of Brooke.

– We're not talking about that now. –she affirmed with a set look.

Brooke just fell apart. – He dumped me. –she announced sobbing, tears running wild through her face.

– Oh God, Brooke… I knew it. I knew it the minute you arrived without him to my wedding. How could I believe everything was fine? Why you didn't tell me the truth?

– I didn't want to ruin your big day.

– Honey but you should've told me. I haven't been here for you. –Ilana affirmed distorted. – What happened?

– He doesn't love me Ilana. He lied to me. And when I asked him to tell me everything and to let me into his life, he broke up with me. –Brooke stated, sobbing louder.

Ilana closed her eyes and breathed deeply, shaking her head. She just couldn't believe it. Jack didn't seem to be that kind of man. That was not what his eyes showed. She thought of zillion reasons to justify his behavior. She wanted to tell Brooke she knew he loved her, that she was certain about it. But it wasn't the right time to try to explain the unexplainable. – Brooke I'm so sorry. I hate to see you like this.

– I miss him so much. And he hadn't called me once, not even by mistake. He just doesn't give a fuck. What do I do now? How I kill what I feel for him?

­­– Sweetie, just give it some time. You know things will settle down and you'll start feeling better soon.

– No Ilana, I can't. This time it's different. I just want to die. I feel like shit. The pain I feel is too much. I'm so scared… –she affirmed frantic.

– I know honey, but it'll pass. But you know you must help yourself. You can't just stay here, locked down in the dark, listening to sad songs, not talking or seeing anybody. That's not the way you'll move on.

– I don't want to move on. I want him. Why am I not enough? Why he can't love me?

– Don't say that. There's no way you can know what he's thinking, so just drop it.

– His wife, she… I'm sure she was flawless. I think his little girl resembles her. And his mom, she must be a very refined lady. Maybe I'm just too East Coast for their taste and…

But Ilana cut her off. Brooke was talking insanity. – Brooke, stop.

Brooke stared at her friend and burst into tears again. – I think I'm losing my mind.

– No Brooke, you're not. You're just very depressed, that's all. I totally get you…

But she gripped Ilana's shoulders and affirmed: – I mean it…

Ilana swallowed, seeing the determination in her eyes. – Why you say that?

– It's true. I'm hearing things. –Ilana shuddered as Brooke spoke. – I hear this… voice whispering in my ears. At first it was just calling my name. But now it keeps telling me "Don't give up, don't give up". And it gets louder every day. You know I don't believe in that shit, at first I thought it was just my nerves. But now I'm having these dreams… –Brooke assured with fear in her gaze.

– What dreams?

Brooke sighed deeply and closed her eyes. Then her gaze got lost in the horizon. – I wake up and I'm lying on a beach. Then a wave comes and soaks me up. I have sand all over my body. I'm wearing a white dress and the water makes it heavy and sticky. My hair is totally damped. And the sun is so bright, it blinds me. Then, in the distance, I see someone by the sea, facing backwards. And I try to approach, but I can't. I can't see right. Everything's so blurry…

Ilana was about to speak, but Brooke went on, like she was in some kind of trance. – But last night I finally reached her… I got to stand beside her. And she asked me "Are you her?" She didn't say my name, but I knew she was referring to me… I nodded and then she stared at me intently. It was like she was trying to see my soul… And she was so sad… She had the saddest look I've ever seen…Then she told me "Don't give up. You have to hold on". But the second I tried to talk to her and ask her who's she, I woke up… –Brooke stated, meeting Ilana's eyes. – But now I can't remember her face! –she said frantic and desperate. – I just can't remember how she looked like! Isn't it weird? I'm going insane… I'm so scared… –she affirmed sobbing again and covering her face with her hands.

Ilana held her close, her eyes watering. – Brookie, you're not going insane. You're just anxious. That's why you're having those dreams. It's just the anguish you're feeling trying to get out of your system.

– Why I can't remember her face? –she asked frantic.

Ilana shook her head. – Honey those things happen, it's a dream.

– Who is she Ilana?

Ilana let go off her and looked at her eyes, concerned. – Maybe it's just yourself. It's your subconscious talking to you honey, telling the things you need to hear: "Don't give up, you have to hold on", you see? –Brooke nodded and wiped her tears. Yet she knew Ilana was wrong. – Now sweetie, you need to get out of here, come on.

And then she made Brooke take a shower and get dressed to leave the apartment.


	43. Chapter 43

Hey there! New chaps... We're almost there people, stick around for the end of this story, you'll like it, I promise, and there are still questions to be answered...

Enjoy ;)

**Chapter 43**

Claire was doing the dishes whilst Aaron and Charlene were playing outside. Brett was hanging with them too. Margo was visiting a friend a couple of blocks away. Charlie was still in London and Hurley was out on a date.

Claire had been very concerned about Jack. He was completely isolating himself. She had talked about it with Margo, and they'd come to a conclusion. This girl Jack was seeing, this Brooke chick, he wasn't seeing her anymore. That thought really saddened both women. Not only because that meant Jack was lonely again, but also because they could feel the anger and hatred growing inside him. He was totally disheartened.

But what worried Claire the most was Jackie. She was resenting her dad's mood a lot. She wasn't doing so well at school as she used to, and she had lost her appetite. Her teacher had already asked Jack for a meeting, but he told Claire to go in his place. The teacher had showed Claire some drawings Jackie had been painting. They didn't make any sense. And when Jackie was asked what her drawings were about, the teacher said she refused to tell.

When Claire glanced at the garden, she noticed Jackie was not playing with the rest of the kids. She was sitting alone on the grass, facing the horizon. Claire went out and sat beside her.

– Hey sweetie, why you're not playing with the gang huh?

– I don't like that game. –she retorted.

Claire knew Jackie was a very smart girl, so she cut to the chase. – Jackie, why you've been so blue lately?

Jackie sighed. – Because my spell didn't work.

Claire frowned, puzzled. – What spell?

– I put a spell on my daddy, but it failed.

Claire tried to follow Jackie's game to keep her talking. – Uh-huh, and what was the spell for?

– To fix my daddy's heart.

Claire's look went sad. – Honey, your daddy's heart is fine, you don't have to worry about it.

– It's not fine. And I don't know what to do. Mommy isn't talking to me anymore. –Jackie affirmed with sorrow in her voice.

Claire sighed, now she was really worried. – Jackie, sweetheart, you don't have to do anything. Your daddy's okay.

– Then why he's not playing with me anymore?

– It's just… sometimes we grown-ups have troubles. He's probably having a lot of work and…

– He's not having a lot of work. –Jackie affirmed, cutting Claire off. – He needs someone to take care of him.

– Sweetie, we all take care of him.

– No, we don't. He takes care of us and he thinks he has to do it by his own. That's why he left Brooke.

Claire's jaw dropped. – Did he tell you that?

– No.

– Then why you say so?

Jackie glanced at her aunt, hesitant about telling her or not. – I just know.

Claire bit her lip in concern. – Jackie… these drawings you make… what they're about?

– I don't know.

– How can you not know?

– I see things when I sleep and then I paint them. But sometimes I don't know what they are.

– But the person you're drawing is your mommy?

– No. It's Brooke.

Claire shivered. She knew her niece was special, but this time it was overwhelming. She was getting obsessed with her daddy's issues. – Uh… Jackie… You're right, your dad's been sad lately. But if you get sad too, then you won't be helping him. You have to lighten him up. We all have to. Maybe you can put a new spell on him. Or a potion! Why don't we go inside and make a potion to cheer up your daddy, huh? –Claire suggested, trying to digress Jackie's thoughts.

The little girl smiled widely. – Yes Auntie Claire! But he doesn't have to know, because then he won't drink it!

– Okay, come on… –and then she took her niece inside, still concerned.

When the day was over, Claire walked Jackie and Brett home. Margo was back and opened the door. She greeted the kids with hugs and kisses, then took them inside to feed them dinner. After asking Margo where Jack was, Claire went to his studio. The lights were off and he was sitting in his armchair, facing the window, holding a glass of scotch in his hand. Claire stood in front of the desk and spoke. – Jack?

He turned around. – Claire… what you're doing here?

– I brought the kids.

– Oh thanks, I thought mom was picking them up.

– It's okay. Um… can I talk to you? –she asked nervous. To this day, sometimes she couldn't help but feel intimidated by her brother.

– Sure…

– Jack, we're worried about you.

– Worried about me? Why? –he asked with an insolent voice. He was definitely drunk.

– Why you're drinking so much lately?

– Oh come on! Dad drank all the time and no one cared. What's the big deal?

– But you're not dad. Please Jack, talk to me. I know you're upset. Let me help you this one time.

– You can't help me Claire. Nobody can. See, the great irony here is I can fix everything but nobody can fix me.

– Why don't you try me?

Jack laughed wryly. – What do you want Claire?

– I want to help you.

– You know what? That's _exactly_ the problem. Everybody wants something from me. "Jack, I want to dance at my wedding", "Jack, bring your father home", "Jack, I want to meet your mother", "Jack, I want to help you". The thing is, sis, I'm just fucking sick of pleasing everybody around me. I'm done. I just don't give a shit anymore.

Claire shook her head in disagreement. – Jack, why are you so hard on yourself? Why you keep beating yourself up? –she questioned.

– I don't beat myself up, sis. I just don't have what it takes.

That statement annoyed Claire. – Don't you ever say that Jack! You know that's not true!

– Oh really? Then why I'm lonely? Why people stay with me just because they _need _me? And once they don't need me anymore, they just leave me. –he said standing up.

Claire got it all clear. This was about Kate again, and Sarah, and their father, and all the shadows remaining in Jack's heart. – Jack, stop. Don't do this.

– Oh but I can't complain. I can't lose it. _Leaders_ don't do that, they can't fall apart, because everybody freaks out. Don't worry sis, the world's not going to collide because I'm having a rough time. You'll all see your hero again in the morning, okay? Now, please, leave me alone. –he snapped.

– You don't have to be so mean Jack. You think I don't understand you? You think I stay with you, and Charlie, and Hurley, and your mom, because we need you? That's so not true! We stay with you because we love you. That's the only reason for us to be around you. We've all been through a lot Jack, we all crashed on that island. We all have pain in our hearts. And we all miss Kate too, because we all lost her. She was my best friend. And dad… he hurt me too. But we all try Jack. Everyday, we try to move on, we try to be happy. So, I just don't get why you can't try.

– How can you say I don't try?

– Maybe you do. But you're always reluctant and wary. You're so scared of giving in. Maybe if you just opened your heart…

– Every time I do that, I get hurt. I'm done. But it's okay Claire, really. I know that's the price I've got to pay for being _a great man_. –he assured laughing scathingly.

Claire sighed and knew the conversation was over. Jack was drunk and probably wouldn't remember a thing she said the next day. – Okay Jack, I'm leaving.

– Yeah, you go. –he snapped.

Claire started walking away but turned around to face him once more. – You try Jack, for once in your life. Stop being so hard on yourself. Stop trying to fix everything. Just let it be. –she pleaded.

– Get out, please! –he demanded. And so she did.

The next day, Claire talked to Margo about her encounter with Jack. Claire also told her about Jackie being blue and feeling responsible of her dad's sadness. But what concerned Margo the most was the drinking. Once Jack and the kids were gone for school and work, she went to his room. She was looking for something, though she didn't know what it was exactly. She sneaked in his drawers, his closet. Nothing.

Then she went to his studio. There it was. She found a phone bill. What was so special about it? It was a phone bill of Jack's former apartment. Margo couldn't believe it. She always thought her son had sold that place. Now she knew not only he had not, but also that he was making phone calls from there, and paying for them. She knew she had to go.

When she got to the condo, she had no choice but to ask Mrs. Florence to open the apartment for her. Before doing it, Florence had no trouble in telling Margo every single thing that had happened in that apartment in the last months. She told her how she met Brooke that first time she spent the night there, giving an exact description of her. She also narrated how they arrived every Friday with Brooke's luggage and how she used to go buying groceries down the street. Margo learnt that Brooke probably cooked, since Florence could always get the smell of tasty food coming from the apartment. She also told her the time when Jack drove Brooke to the airport every Sunday.

Florence described how Brooke dressed up for Halloween and gave treats to the kids in the building. She told Margo how they walked to the park holding hands and that they used to go to the movies or dinner on Saturday nights. But that, Florence stated, was before they "went physical". She even had the nerve to tell Margo Brooke was "very indiscrete" when she was in the bedroom with Jack. Margo also learnt about the Christmas dinner they shared and the golf clubs Brooke got for him. And finally, Florence narrated with almost exact words the big fight they had, and how Jack left looking "terribly upset". Then she affirmed Brooke had left 2 hours later carrying a lot of bags with difficulty, with her eyes puffed up and a distorted face.

She assured she didn't see either of them in a week. But then Jack had been going every day, staying for a while and then leaving in the middle of the night. Once inside the apartment, Margo was through with Florence's narration. She thanked her and asked her politely to leave, impressed and disgusted of how much she knew about her son's life.

Margo wandered the apartment. She found a bunch of papers and magazines, all about fashion. She went to the kitchen and found the plates, glasses and casseroles Brooke had bought. She also noticed the empty vases. Jack never had vases before. Then Margo walked to the bedroom. There she found and empty photo frame at the night stand and the closet open. Then she saw Brooke's sweater on the bed and lifted it, scanning it with her sight. Straight afterwards, at the foot of the bed, she found the empty bottles of scotch and beer and wine Jack had been drinking. Her concern grew more when she kneeled and looked under the bed. Jack was drinking a lot.

That was enough for Margo. This time she wouldn't allow it. In the past, she had seen her husband's fall due to alcohol and a missing love. She wouldn't let that happen to her son. Not to him, she repeated in her mind. Not to her beautiful, talented and great son. _Over my death body,_ she swore…


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

Brooke's birthday was around the corner. Her birthday was by far her favorite date of the year, but this time she wasn't excited at all. She hadn't even thought it was coming, let alone making a plan to celebrate it.

Ilana was watching her close. Brooke was having a very rough time with her breakup with Jack. She had irrupted in Ilana's office a couple of times, because she couldn't take the anxiety anymore. She kept crying in the corners and throwing up. One day, she even wanted to call Jack to ask him for a chance, to the point Ilana had to actually confiscate her cell phone and beg her not to do it. They made a deal: every time Brooke felt the urge to hear his voice or thought of him, she would call Ilana instead. So far, she was getting Brooke's calls every 15 minutes, tops.

But Ilana kept comforting her, trying to make her feel better. She knew what it was like to lose someone you loved madly. Brooke, on the other hand, felt terrible of being bothering her friend so much. She was a newly-wed and of course she wanted to spend time with her husband. That was what Brooke resented the most. Claudia was married, Melissa had a long time boyfriend and now Ilana was married too. The problem was not that she was single. She had been single many times before. The problem was she was emotionally unstable and terrified of being alone, because that was when her mind became a danger for her, playing tricks and making her hear whispers or have weird dreams.

Therefore, she tried to spend more time at the office. She filled her schedule with things to do. Within some days, her plan started working fine. She was busier, so she had less time to think of Jack, sort of. But everybody could notice when, in the middle of a meeting or even talking with someone, her eyes started watering. She was there, but her thoughts were not. Sometimes, she wasn't even paying attention.

On Wednesday, one week before her birthday, she was checking Irene's notes when Samara interrupted her.

– Brooke? May I come in? –Brooke raised her eyes, annoyed, and nodded. – Excuse me, but I dialed your extension and you didn't pick up.

– So? –Brooke snapped, not looking at her.

– There's a woman on the phone. She wants to talk to you.

– A woman? What woman? –Brooke asked more annoyed, raising an eyebrow.

– She didn't tell me her name, but she says she really needs to speak with you.

Brooke dropped the papers she was reading on the desk and snapped fiercely. – Okay, Sammy dear, which part of "I don't want to take any calls" you didn't get?

– I know Brooke, but I think you should… –Samara managed, trying to explain.

Brooke raised her voice. – Is it my mother?

– No.

– Someone of my family?

– No…

– Somebody died?

– No!

– Then get out of here and tell this _woman_ I'm not available. –Brooke ordered sternly.

Samara sighed and nodded, leaving Brooke's office.

At 7:00 pm, Brooke was still in her office. She had let Samara go home half hour ago, once she was sure nobody else would call. Ilana walked in.

– So, where we're going tonight? –she asked smiling.

Brooke looked at her tenderly. She knew how supportive Ilana was being and really appreciated it. Without her, Brooke would've probably ended up with a nervous break down. – You're going home to your husband. And me, well, I'm thinking of going to my parents' or maybe I'll just get some take outs and go home. –she replied softly.

Ilana gave her a suspicious look. – Why don't you want to have dinner with us?

– Honey, of course I want to. But you need some room, really. Lance is going to hate me if I keep being company.

– You know that's not true.

– Okay, maybe it's not, but I mean it. Besides, I really need to get back on track, you can't be baby sitting me for the rest of my life, right? –she said with a smile. Ilana threw her a concerned look. – Just go home. I'll be okay, really.

– Fine, I'll go, but Brooke, if you're not feeling well, please call me, it doesn't matter the time, okay?

– I promise. Don't worry sweetie, I'm going to be fine. –she said determined.

– Okay, I'll see you in the morning.

She stayed at the office for another hour. She was really focused on a review when her cell phone rang, scaring the crap out of her. She stared at the phone. Who was calling her? She didn't know that number. She picked up anyway.

– Hello?

– Good evening, may I speak with Miss Brooke Julian please?

Brooke had no idea of who it was. She had never heard that voice. She hesitated. – Uh, yeah, it's me, who is this?

The other side of the line went mute for some seconds, making Brooke nervous. Was it her mind playing games again? Her heart beat faster. But then the voice spoke. – This is Margo Shephard, Jack's mother…

Brooke almost fainted. Her jaw dropped. She ran out of words. Margo noticed and went on. – Listen, I know we haven't met, but I really need to speak with you…

– Is Jack okay? –Brooke asked in panic.

– Yes, he is... Anyway, I was wondering if we can have breakfast tomorrow…

Brooke didn't understand a thing. Yet she didn't find surprising Margo didn't know she didn't live in L.A. – Um, I'd love too, but I'm not in L.A. now.

– I know dear. I'm in the city. So, you think you can make some time to meet me?

– Of… of course. –Brooke replied, astonished.

– Good. Well, I don't know the city much, would you mind coming to my hotel? There's a lovely restaurant with nice breakfasts in here…

– Sure, no problem, where are you staying? –Brooke took a pen and a post-it and wrote down the name of the hotel and the address.

– It's 9:00 am okay? –Margo asked politely.

– Absolutely. –Brooke replied immediately.

– Well, then, I'll see you tomorrow.

– Wait! How will I know who you are?

– You ask for my table. –and Margo hung up.

Brooke was shaking. She was stunned. How did Jack's mother found her? Why she wanted to see her? What she wanted to tell her? Was he okay? She felt jittery and had tons of questions.

Obviously, she couldn't sleep quite well that night. At 7:00 she got up and went to the shower. She had trouble figuring out what to wear. She wanted to give Jack's mom a good impression. Then she remembered she had a board meeting at noon. _Fuck! I have to wear a suit…_ she thought.

Once she was ready, she went down her building and hailed a cab. The traffic was awful. She was anxious and nervous. She begged the driver to take a short cut. She felt relieved when she got to the hotel at 9:00 sharp. She went to the restaurant Margo told her and asked the host for her table.

– Good morning, Mrs. Shephard's table please? –the man nodded and made a waiter guide her. She felt her legs trembling. As she approached the table, she could see Margo's back and her dark brown hair perfectly styled. She rounded the table until she got to the empty chair that was waiting for her. She stood in front of Margo but went mute, nervous.

Margo looked up and opened her eyes wider. Brooke was not as she imagined her at all. – You must be Brooke. –she said with a polite smile.

Brooke shook her hand. – It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Shephard.

– Please, have a sit. –she told Brooke.

She sat down and soon after the waiter handed Margo the menu, and then handed it to Brooke as well. Whilst Brooke ordered, Margo was staring at her intently, watching every move she made. She noticed she was indeed beautiful, as Claire and Florence described. Yet she could see the dark circles under her eyes. She wasn't sleeping well for sure. She was way younger than Jack, she thought. She was evidently nervous, which was comprehensible. She was wearing an exquisite navy suit, probably Chanel, with white delicate pinstripes. Her pencil skirt got to her knees and she was wearing beautiful black heels, not too high. A white shirt with perfect collar and cuffs showed under her jacket. She looked adorable, Margo concluded. She was a classic New York yuppie girl.

Now was Margo's turn to order. Brooke looked at her discretely. Jack definitely resembled her. They had the same hair and chin. What impressed Brooke the most were the eyes. They both had the same intense look and eye-color. But he didn't have her nose. She was indeed a refined woman, just as Brooke had pictured her.

Brooke was clenching her fists under the table. Her hands were all sweaty. Margo was taking it easy and kept looking at her with huge curiosity and an unreadable smile, making her feel intimidated. Margo poured some milk in her coffee, while Brooke waited for her to speak or do something.

– You're very hard to reach… –Margo stated to break the ice.

Brooke felt embarrassed. – I'm sorry, I've been having a lot of work lately. –she justified. Then she felt the urge to ask. – How did you find me?

Margo threw a satisfying smile. – I'm good at searching. –Brooke looked down. She felt scrutinized by Margo.

As their beverages arrived, Margo went down to business. – So, how long you've met my son? –she asked directly.

Brooke swallowed. – Almost 5 months.

– How did you meet him?

– I… We have a friend in common. He introduced us at a book party in Los Angeles.

– Who's that friend?

– Patrick, Patrick Mayer.

Margo's eyes opened wider. – How do you know Patrick?

– We went to college together.

– Oh, so you went to Columbia too… –Brooke nodded. – Then you're younger than I think… How old are you exactly?

– I'll be 28 next Wednesday.

– Congratulations. –Margo said with honesty. She was stunned. She couldn't believe Brooke was that young. Yet she didn't find surprising that Jack, almost in his 40's, had drawn this girl. After all, her son was gorgeous.

– Thanks.

– Your parents… What do they do?

– My dad runs a law firm and my mom is a housewife.

– You have any siblings?

– Yeah, I have a younger brother, Terry. He's a lawyer too…

– I see. And your parents, they like Jack?

Brooke looked down. – They don't know him.

­­– That's what I thought. They have trouble with him being older than you?

She shook her head. – No.

– They know he has children?

– Yes.

– They know he's been married?

– Yes.

Margo raised her eyebrows in amazement. She didn't expect a fine family, as she assumed Brooke's was, would allow her daughter to see a man under Jack's circumstances. – Jack has gained a few pounds…

Brooke cast a short smile. – He's really into food.

– I think he's into _your_ food. Because you cook for him, right?

– Sometimes.

– Well, I must say I'm impressed. Most New York girls don't cook.

– I like cooking. It's a family tradition…

She kept interrogating Brooke for what seemed forever. Brooke's anxiety kept growing within the hour, seeing Margo wasn't making any point. Margo kept asking zillion questions. She asked her what her job was about, she asked her about her friends, her interests and her life.

But the more she asked, the more she confirmed what she knew the second she saw Brooke standing in front of her: she was the woman she had always expected for her son. She was a woman worth of him. She was not a tramp, like Kate, neither a dull girl with no further ambitions than getting married, like Sarah. Brooke had it all. She was beautiful and young. She came from a decent and fine New York family. She had a successful career. She dressed with excellent taste and she could cook. But above all, she loved Jack and was able to take care of him and his kids. Finally, her son had found someone worth of succeeding her as the new Mrs. Shephard, for good.

They both had finished their breakfast. Brooke couldn't resist anymore.

– Mrs. Shephard… Why you're here? Why you wanted to meet me?

Margo smiled content. – Because I wanted to know who's going to take care of my grandchildren.

Brooke opened her eyes wide in disbelief. Then she looked down and felt her eyes watering. – Um, Mrs. Shephard… I don't mean to be rude but… I… Jack and I broke up. We haven't talked in more than 3 weeks.

– I know dear.

Brooke looked at her astonished. – You know? Did he tell you something?

– Of course not. He never talks about these things, you should know that.

– Then why you say I'm going to take care of your grandchildren?

Margo sighed. – Brooke, I must say I'm very impressed with you. When I first found out Jack was seeing you, I thought you would be… different. I thought you would be more like… _her_. –she stated. – But thank God you're not. You're nothing like Katherine.

Brooke was amazed again. It was evident Margo didn't like Kate at all. – Don't get me wrong. I don't mean to discredit her. –Margo continued. – She did her best, she really tried. But she wasn't worth of trust. Time proved me right, unfortunately. –she affirmed. – She was no woman for my son. If they hadn't been together on that island of hell, God knows Jack would've never put his eyes on her. She was pretty, of course. Maybe he would have felt attracted to her at first, but he would have never married a woman like her. I know my son and I know it's true.

Brooke had zillion questions. A woman like her? What kind of woman Kate was? She was about to ask, but Margo didn't let her. – That's why I wanted to see you, Brooke. I want to know. Do you love my son?

Brooke's eyes went longing. – Yes Mrs. Shephard, I do.

– Good. Then I want to ask you a favor. –Brooke held her breath. – I want to ask you to be patient. You just give him some time. He'll come back to you. Just don't give up on him.

When Brooke heard that, she couldn't help but think about the dreams she'd had, and the whispers. Had they been a premonition of her encounter with Margo? No, she wasn't the woman she had seen in her dreams. She didn't remember her face, but she knew she wasn't Margo. – I'm not giving up on him, Mrs. Shephard, but he feels different about it. He doesn't want me near you or the kids. That's why he broke up with me.

Margo shook her head in disagreement. – It's not like that, dear. You see... Jack… he's a great man, I'm sure you agree with me on that. But he has a long time broken heart, Brooke. That's why he hasn't let you in.

Brooke threw a questioning look. Margo kept talking. – My husband and I… we were not the best parents for him. I always wanted Jack to be the perfect son, so his father would like me, _love me_, for it. And his father… –Margo's voice broke and her eyes watered. – His father wanted to turn him into the man he longed to be. So we kept pushing him all the time. And now Jack thinks he's responsible for everything around him. That brings him feelings of guilt and despair. And, among all of that, he's had terrible luck with women. He hasn't made the right choices. You need to understand it's very hard for him to trust and bond with people. –Margo explained.

For some reason, Brooke felt hope. She knew Margo meant every single word she had said. Yet she was speechless. But Margo finished. – So, dear, if you really love my son, please hold on. Don't forget him. Don't fall in love with another man, at least not yet. –she claimed.

When Brooke was about to speak, Margo asked the waiter to charge the check to her room. – Now dear, I have a plane to catch. Please, don't ever tell Jack about this conversation. –and with that she left the restaurant, after shaking Brooke's hand and looking at her one more time, pleased.


	45. Chapter 45

Hello! New chap... Keep reading, we're almost there! ;)

In this chap., a heart-breaking Jate scene... don't hate me, that's life people :P

Foxy4ever, thanks as always...

**Chapter 45**

On Saturday, all the family was gathering at Claire's house. Charlie was back from London, so Claire welcomed him with a barbecue. Margo was in an excellent mood, still thrilled by the idea of Brooke and Jack. She had told Claire all about her and felt very optimistic about the possibility of them working things out.

Claire, on the other hand, was skeptical. She knew Jack was in love with that girl, that's why he was drinking so much and so moody, but she also knew her brother was very stubborn, and once he said "no", nothing could change his mind. _He'll see reason_, Margo assured with a huge smile. Claire was surprised. Though Margo never said anything negative about Kate and always treated her nice when she was alive, Claire always knew she never liked her. Seeing her so excited was really something. Brooke should be very special to make such a good impression on Margo.

Both women were inside the house, talking. Hurley and Charlie were playing with the kids and Jack was alone, having a beer in the garden, sitting on a patio chair. Of course Charlie was aware of the situation, Claire had told him about it, as well as Hurley, of course. He noticed Jack was there on his own and went to him, and joined him with a beer.

– Hey man…

– Hey… –Jack replied discouraged.

– Hurley and I are going to the studio, to check some of my new tracks. Why don't you come with us? I can use some critic opinions.

– Thanks Charlie, but I'd rather stay.

Charlie nodded. – Right, of course you rather stay. –he said. Jack gave another sip to his beer. And Charlie went on. – I already have my new single, you know? And that record is a bloody award-winner, I'm telling you.

– That's great. –he said. – That's got to be exciting, to have musical talent. How you do it? Where you get inspiration for your songs? –he asked with interest.

– I get it from everywhere. It's what I have inside, what I see around me, you know. I have songs about Claire, about Aaron and Charlene… I have others about what I've experienced…

– That's awesome…

­– This new single, for instance, it's called "God's favorite creature". It's about this guy who has a gift, you know, and this gift is his lucky star. But he rejects it and is always trying to run away from it, but he just can't. His star finds him again and again. That's why he's God's favorite creature. –Charlie explained.

Jack laughed shortly. – Sounds like Hurley.

– Oh no, it's not about Hurley. It's about you…

Jack stared at Charlie stunned. Then he shook his head and laughed. – I don't think so. I have everything but a lucky star, believe me. And I'm _way far_ from being God's favorite creature. –he said with resentment in his voice.

– You know, that's exactly what is so bloody unique about you Jack. You're not aware of yourself.

Jack frowned. – What?

– You're the guy everybody wants to be. And you just don't see it. I used that for my song too…

– Why would _anybody_ want to be me?

– Well, where to begin? Because you're a steely doctor, capable of saving lives with nothing else but bamboo and sea urchins. Because you're a natural leader and you're always right. And you're freaking tall and good looking, but I shouldn't be saying that because it sounds bloody gay.

Jack burst out laughing. – You have no idea of what you're saying, man.

– I do. But above all that, Jack, people love you and admire you. That's why everybody follows you. Really, if you were evil, you could start bloody World War 3.

– People don't love me, Charlie. People need me, that's all.

– Sure they need you, 'cause they love you. Seriously Jack, how many times you've found true love? As far as I know, two. But now you have this New York girl who has spent almost 6 days on a plane just for you. –Jack was stunned looking at him with huge disbelief in his eyes. – Yeah, I know about that. And I did the math. –Charlie pointed. – Most of us mortals get lucky if we find it at least once. –he assured. Jack was out of words. Was Charlie right? Was he really rejecting his gift? – So, if I were you… –Charlie said cutting his thoughts off. – I'd stop making everything so damn complicated and just enjoy the ride… See you man. –he said, standing up and patting Jack's shoulder.

When the sun set, Charlie and Hurley left. Jack, Margo and the kids went home. Jack walked into his studio, and the floor was full of Jackie's drawings, scattered all over the place. Jackie always went to the studio to draw, because she said she felt more comfortable there and had more space than in her room. He sat on the floor to see them.

The drawings caught his attention, not only because he remembered what Jackie's teacher had told Claire, but because they showed his daughter's improvement. She was getting very good at drawing, in terms of a child of her age. Another thing he found peculiar was that she was working on a new drawing and had a picture of him leaned on hear easel, like she was trying to copy his face.

– I'm sorry daddy, I'm cleaning my mess right now. –Jackie said from behind him, concern in her voice.

He looked at Jackie. – It's okay baby, I don't mind. You want to show me your drawings? –he said sweetly.

Jackie smiled. – You want to see them?

– Of course I want to see them.

Jackie sat on the floor beside her dad and handed him one of the drawings. It was an autumn scene. A couple was standing in the middle of a park holding hands, leafs falling from big trees, and a dog was sitting beside the woman.

The second one was a Christmas scene. It had a huge tree with pretty ornaments. There was a big table full of food and glasses of wine, and a man and a woman were holding hands too. The woman had a brown dress. The man was wearing a navy suit and a green tie. Also, the woman was wearing a silver-colored bracelet on her right wrist, and beside the man there was a bag with golf clubs.

Then Jack took another drawing. It showed Cat Woman in the middle of candles and Halloween pumpkins. He couldn't get why, but he found all these scenes somehow familiar.

– What about that one, the one on your easel? –he asked Jackie.

– That's not finished yet.

Jack glanced at it. She could see again a man wearing a suit, but under his jacket, Jackie had drawn the Superman suit. He was again holding the hand of a woman with long black hair and a big smile.

– You want Superman to look like me? –he asked Jackie with a smile, referring to the picture of him she had.

Jackie shook her head. – You are Superman.

Jack laughed. He couldn't see what was the big deal with those drawings. Obviously Jackie was painting things that came from her imagination. – So, am I in all your drawings?

– Yes daddy.

Jack looked at them once more. That's when he found what the big deal was. The woman in all Jackie's drawings had the same distinctive features: long black hair, a big happy smile, a bracelet on her right wrist and shoes with high heels. All of the sudden, he couldn't think of anybody but Brooke. – Honey, this woman in your drawings is your mom?

Jackie raised and eyebrow. – No.

– Then who is she? –Jack asked shivering.

Jackie bit her lip. – She's, uh… Lois Lane. –she said wittily.

He gave her a suspicious smile. – Lois Lane huh? I don't think she looks like Lois Lane.

Jackie looked away. Then she looked back at her dad, determined. – You don't look like the Superman of the movies either. –she affirmed.

Jack couldn't believe it. Jackie was drawing him _and_ Brooke. All the scenes in her drawings had happened: the walk to the park, the Christmas dinner, the Halloween. But how could it be? Was his daughter a clairvoyant? He didn't believe in that crap. Maybe she had heard someone talking about it, but who? He never told anyone what he did with Brooke. He found it absolutely disturbing. He was trying to figure it out when Jackie spoke.

– Daddy, if I make a tea for you, will you drink it?

He rolled his eyes. – Honey, I think I've had enough tea. –he said, somehow fed up of that sticky cranberry-sour flavored thing she had made him drink the whole week.

– But it's good for you daddy, I promise. And you won't smell of beer anymore. –she said happy.

He felt ashamed. It was obvious that Jackie could notice he had been drinking. He felt like shit. He didn't want to give that image to his kids. He promised to himself he would never drink in front of them again. – Okay honey, I'll drink it.

– Cool! Come with me daddy! –she said thrilled, believing her potion was finally taking effect.

He followed his daughter to the kitchen. Margo and Brett were there, making coco. Margo had been treating Jack with special kindness. He found it sort of awkward. He couldn't remember the last time his mother was so smiley, but he liked it. At least someone was happy.

He drank Jackie's "tea" and also had a cup of coco to get rid of the taste of his daughter's preparation. Later on he put the kids to bed and read a bedtime story for them. Then he went to his room and tried to watch some TV, but it seemed that the world was plotting against him that day. All he could zap on were ads about shoes, clothes, perfumes and so on. He couldn't help but think of Brooke again. He missed her, he really did.

He felt the impulse of calling her. He even grabbed the phone and was about to dial. But then his dark pessimistic side took over. He couldn't. Because if he finally surrendered and let her in, she would break his heart, because she'd find out who he really was and would abandon him, because he didn't have what it takes. And he didn't want to hate her.

His heart filled with sorrow. He needed to go to the apartment. That was the only thing left of her. When he was there, he could feel her all over the place. And he needed a drink.

Once there he went on with his beat-up ritual.

He got totally wasted and fell asleep on the couch. He left the window open and the cold winter breeze made him shiver and awoke him. The moonlight on his face dazzled him. He rubbed his eyes, everything was blurry. When he finally cleared his sight, he saw a woman facing backwards, staring at the window.

– Brooke?

The woman turned around, but she wasn't Brooke. She was Kate. – Hey… –she said feebly.

_Okay, this time I drank too much_, he thought. He shut his eyes widely, thinking he'd wake up that way, or stop hallucinating. But she was still there.

– Jack, what are you doing? –Kate asked.

– You're not here. –he said, shutting his eyes again.

– Yet here I am.

– I'm obviously dreaming. –he said, his heart speeding up.

– Fine, let's say you're dreaming. But you have to listen to me… –she stated whilst she sat beside him. – You need to stop.

– Stop what?

– Beating yourself up.

– God, please wake up! –he said to himself desperate.

– Jack, please. Listen to me, I don't have much time. You want to ask me a question, so here I am.

He looked at her frightened. Yes, she was the same Kate he had married, the same one that mothered his children. The same one he loved. She looked disheartened and incredibly sad. – Why Kate? Why you did it? Why you left us behind? –he pronounced, finally asking the questions he needed an answer to since he buried Kate.

Her gaze changed. She looked at him with sorrow. – Because I made I mistake. And it cost me my life…

– I thought you loved me… We were a team… But you just left me… –he said with tears in his eyes.

– I still love you Jack, and I always will. You were always the one.

– Then why Kate?

– Because I didn't learn my lesson. None of us did. But things are not the way you think Jack. And someday you will find out and finally forgive me… –she said with a longing look. – Anyway, that was a long time ago, and you have to move on.

– I can't. I can't move on. I miss you. I can't help it Kate. I'll always love you.

Kate's eyes watered. – I know you miss me, and that's okay. But you don't love me anymore, not in the way you used to. Now I'm just the mom of your kids, that's all.

Jack frowned. – How can you say that?

– Because it is true. You love _her_. You need to stay with her Jack. She's the one. You found her after all… –she said with tears in her eyes.

He knew immediately she was talking about Brooke. – No… I…

But she cut him off. – She's going to take care of you Jack, and of my children too. No one else can do it, and you know it. Now I have to go. –she said looking at the corridor that left to the bedroom.

– Wait! –he demanded, but then glanced in the same direction and felt an impulse to go there. When he got to the door frame, he saw Brooke lying on the bed in her Cat Woman costume, just as she was the night they first made love. He approached the bed and when he tried to touch her, he abruptly woke up.

He was on the bed, and Brooke's sweater was on his chest. He got up and kept thinking _that_ had been a really weird dream. He rubbed his eyes and felt the hangover running through his body. Then something in the night stand called his attention. There was a little notebook Brooke had left behind. He never noticed it was there before. He took it and opened it.

Brooke had this wacky mania of scrawling on paper whilst she spoke on the phone. She had filled pages and pages of the notebook with black pen. She had scrawled little drawings as stars, suns, clouds, flowers. She had written her name too, and isolated words that Jack supposed she was saying on the phone at that moment. He could find his name too. "I love Jack", he read. "My beautiful boyfriend" was another sentence she had written. _I so don't deserve her_, he thought.

He shivered and remembered what Kate told him in his dream when, among Brooke's hand writing, he read: "Brooke Julian-Shephard". "He's coming home with me". "Jackie and Brett". "Beautiful kids". "Wish they were mine". He was blown away.


	46. Chapter 46

Hello people! Here you have a new chapter. I'll post again until next Friday, 'cause I'm going on vacation. Please wait for me and miss me!

:P

Enjoy...

**Chapter 46**

After her encounter with Margo, Brooke ran to work and told Ilana everything about it. A mix of feelings crossed her heart. She felt overwhelmed and somehow hopeful. She believed Jack would call her any minute. But another week went by and he didn't.

Her birthday arrived. Since it was Wednesday, she agreed with Ilana that they'd celebrate until Friday, so they wouldn't have to get up early the next day. At work, Ilana got her a cake and made her blow the candles, even though Brooke wasn't thrilled with the idea.

At night, they went to her parents'. Mr. Julian was on a business trip, and that just made Brooke sadder, but she remained calmed and tried to stay positive. What she missed the most with her father out of the country was his birthday present.

Brooke's favorite story when she was a kid was Cinderella. She made her dad read it for her every single night before going to sleep. She loved to hear over and over again how the prince had found Cinderella by putting the glass slipper on her foot. Therefore, since Brooke 16th birthday, her dad had given her each year not a glass slipper, but a beautiful dress. What was special about it was that her dad never knew her size number. He just looked at the dress and knew if it'd fit or not. And Brooke always found amazing that the dress he gave her was not only of her taste, but also that it fitted perfectly, like it was hand-made especially for her. It didn't need any adjustment. That's how she experienced her Cinderella moment every year.

But this year there was no dress. Her mom explained that the store got it all wrong and didn't deliver it on time. Mr. Julian was pretty upset and had called Brooke to explain she would get it by Monday. He also congratulated her daughter and told her he was having terrible reception in his cell phone.

Then, after having dinner with her family, she went home. Her birthday was over and Jack never called. Right, they had broken up, she thought, but at least he could've called her to wish her a happy birthday, just as a friendly, no-hard-feelings gesture, and for good times' sakes. But he just didn't, he probably didn't even remember the date. With pain and sorrow in her heart, she let go any hope of getting back together with him. She cried again. She just couldn't believe it. He just didn't give a damn for her, and she loved him so much. It was over, so very over.

The next day she woke up feeling blue, but determined. Fine, Jack didn't love her, and no matter how much she cried, that wasn't going to change. It was time to start moving on. She knew that she would never love anybody like she loved him ever again. Brooke never knew what the world failure meant, but now she did. Her relationship with Jack was the first failure of her life. There was always a first time, she thought, and she had to resign herself to live with that failure forever.

When she got to work, she went right to Ilana's office.

– I'm taking it off.

– You're taking off what? –Ilana asked disconcerted.

– The bracelet. –she said, glancing at her right wrist.

Ilana frowned. – Really? How come, I mean, why now?

– Because I can't cry these tears anymore, and it reminds me of him every single day. As long as I wear this bracelet, I won't be able to move on. I have to take it off.

Ilana sighed. For some things, she was very superstitious. She was convinced to that day that Jack had given Brooke that bracelet because he loved her, and she believed that if one of them decided to take it off, their bond would break. – Has he given you the key? –she asked concerned.

– No. –Brooke replied discouraged.

Ilana felt relieved. If Brooke wanted to take it off, she had to ask him for the key. Then they would talk and work things out. ­– So when you're calling him?

Brooke looked at her with disbelief. – Calling him?

– To get the key, you know.

– Of course I'm not calling him. I'll just go the jewelry. They will take it off.

Ilana's face distorted. – Brooke, are you sure?

– Absolutely. I can't believe you're asking me. It's like you wanted me to keep suffering.

– That's ridiculous, Brooke. But his mom… she told you to be patient and maybe…

But Brooke cut her off. – His mom can do nothing about it. He's not a child. He's made his choice.

­­– But maybe you can just wait a little…

– It's been a month Ilana… –Brooke said somehow annoyed. – I think it's been enough time. He's not changing his mind, and I have to face it. –she said, her voice broken and tears showing in her eyes. – So, taking off this bracelet is the first step.

Ilana nodded. – Fine sweetie, if that's what you want…

– Yeah…

When the day was over, she went to Cartier on the 5th Avenue. She knew they had all the keys to all their bracelets. She cried on the way. It was so tough to give up on Jack… When her cab got there, she got off. But the boutique was closed. They were having a huge inventory and wouldn't be opening till Monday. _Fuck…_ she thought. She walked down the street and found a little jewelry whose ad read "Any kind of repairs made". She went in and asked the jeweler:

– Hi… Excuse me, I want to take this bracelet off, but I don't have the key. You think you can help me?

The jeweler looked at her wrist. – Why don't you go to Cartier? It's just a few blocks away…

­­– It's closed until Monday. And I really need to take it off, so, maybe you have a tool or something… –she said all jittery.

– Um… these are very fine jewels, but maybe… let me see. –The old man went inside the backroom whilst Brooke followed him with her sight. Then he came back and tried some screwdrivers on the bracelet, but none of them worked.

– No, just what I thought. You need to go to Cartier, only they have those kinds of screwdrivers.

– Maybe if you try with something else, please? –she begged.

The old man smiled. – Why you want to take it off so bad? –he asked curious. But Brooke just looked down, her eyes watering. – Well ­–said the man– if you can't wait, maybe I can cut it off.

– Cut it off? –she asked abashed.

– Yes, you know, with a saw. It'll just take 5 minutes… But then it will be irreparable… –the jeweler stated.

Brooke hesitated. She wanted to take it off, but she didn't want to break it like that. – Maybe you shouldn't take it off… –the man told her with a tender smile. – Go home, wait until Monday… –he suggested blinking an eye.

Brooke nodded. After all, she only had to wait 4 days. – Fine… I'll do that…

Friday came. Ilana had made a reservation for 8:00 O'clock at the restaurant they always went to, where they were celebrating Brooke's birthday at last. When Brooke got home after the work-day, she found a beautiful present-box on her bed. She smiled and opened it.

Her eyes opened wider. Finally, her dress had arrived. It was stunning. It was so far the most beautiful dress her dad had given her. It was cardinal-red and sexy. It had a halter collar that showed her cleavage and an A-shape skirt that got over her knees. She undressed to try it on. Yes, it was a perfect fit, as always. She smiled, but sorrow grew inside her. Life went on after all…

She started getting ready for dinner. She put on her new dress, as in every birthday. Then she went to the restaurant. Ilana was already there and was stunned when Brooke walked in.

– Oh my God Brooke, you look amazing! ­–she said jaw-dropped.

– Thank you sweetie…

– I just don't know how he did it, unbelievable… –Ilana affirmed incredulous, turning her around and scrutinizing the dress.

– Well, you know my dad. He has a gift…

Ilana smiled mischievously. – Oh sweetie, you have no idea…

They all took their places. All her friends were there. They had a nice dinner. They were laughing, talking, having a great time. But Ilana seemed absent.

– Honey, are you okay? –Brooke asked puzzled.

– Sure, why you ask?

– I don't know, you've been very quiet the whole night. What's going on?

– Nothing! I just… Nothing sweetie, I have this thing at work, but you're right, I won't think about it anymore… –she replied nonchalant. – So, you didn't take the bracelet off, huh? –she said impishly.

Brooke rolled her eyes. – The fucking store's closed. I'm taking it off on Monday.

– Fine. –Ilana retorted shrugging, with a smug face.

Then the cake arrived. Everybody sang "Happy Birthday" to Brooke. It was time to blow the candles. She closed her eyes and made her birthday wish. Then, at midnight, the dinner was over and everybody went home.

When Brooke got to her place, she checked the time. It was already morning where her dad was, so she decided to call him. She kept looking at herself in the mirror whilst she waited for him to pick up, delighted by the beautiful dress and how it looked on her.

– Hello? –Mr. Julian said.

– Daddy! Hey!

– How you're doing cookie?

– Fine, great. I just wanted to thank you…

But interference cut her off. She heard Mr. Julian talking. – I'm so sorry about the dress cookie, I just told your mom to cancel the order to those mother fuckers, but you're not going to believe the one I found for you here, you'll have it once I get back home, I promise.

Brooke didn't know what her dad was talking about. – But daddy, the dress just got here today, and it's beautiful. I wanted to thank you 'cause I love it… Hello? Dad?

But the call cut off. She frowned. Well, it seemed this year she was getting 2 pretty dresses. She went to the living room and saw on the couch Ilana's coat. _What an ass, I took it instead of mine…_

She grabbed it and when she was walking to her bedroom, the doorbell rang.

– I knew you would come back to get your co… –she affirmed whilst she opened the door, but then she froze and turned pale.

– Snow White.

She felt her heart speed up. She was speechless. Her birthday wish never worked so fast. – Snow White is Jackie's favorite bedtime story. –a nervous Jack stated from outside the door, with a longing look. – And Brett's favorite cereal is Frosted Flakes. –he said, and then took a step inside the apartment. Brooke let him in. She couldn't believe Jack was there. Maybe she was hallucinating, maybe it was a dream. She didn't dare to speak, afraid that he would disappear if she did.

– Why do you love me, Brooke? –he asked eager to know, walking around, scanning the place and looking at the pictures on the walls, his hands in the pockets of his jeans and a black coat emphasizing his tall and slender figure. Brooke was still dazed and couldn't utter a word. – I need to know –he continued– You can have any man you want. You could be with Marty, or Patrick… one of your dad's lawyers. Why me?

She was not dreaming. Jack was there, right in front of her. She stared at him determined. – Because you make my worst day brighter just by looking at me. –she finally pronounced.

He looked down and smiled shortly. He liked what he'd heard. She still loved him. Then he looked in her eyes longingly, hesitant. – I need to… talk to you.

Brooke nodded and sat on one of her couches. Then she gave him an expectant look and placed her hand on the empty seat beside her, inviting him to join her. The minute he sat so close to her, she wanted to throw herself in his arms and kiss him, telling him how much she missed him, how much she loved him, how much she wanted to be with him, but she contained herself.

He was staring at her intently. If he had any doubt about his feelings for her, it got washed away the minute he saw himself reflected in her eyes. – I've been thinking about everything you told me that day… I'm not a liar Brooke, and I never meant to hurt you. I just made a mistake and I'm sorry. –he took a deep breath and went on. – If I didn't… show you who I am, was because I was afraid to lose you… I'm the one who's not worth of you… All my life I've been obsessed with doing the right thing… I've kept trying to fix everything around me, because that's what I was supposed to do. I never wanted to be a hero, Brooke, but I had no choice. All I wanted was to make my dad proud, to prove him I had what it takes. But I got lost in the way… I forgot who I am… –he said with a broken voice. – When I met you, I remembered. I was just myself again. You didn't need me to save you… You didn't need me to take care of you… You didn't want a hero, Brooke, you just wanted _me_… You didn't know anything about me and you kept coming back… You even fell in love with me… So I thought… why ruin it? I thought that if you really got to know me, you'd leave me. That's why I didn't want to… merge what we had with my everyday life. That's why I didn't want to take another step… –he assured, his eyes watering. – But I can't let you go… You taught me that happiness is a choice, so I choose to be happy _with you_… I love you, Brooke.

Tears rolled over her face when she heard those words, the ones she waited forever to hear and even believed would never come. Yet when she was about to speak, he cut her off. – But I've done terrible things… I'm so fucked up… and you need to know who I really am. And if after I tell you everything there is to know, you still want my soul, I swear to God I'll live to make you happy. –he assured determined, with a longing look.

Brooke nodded again. – I'm listening. –she said softly.

With that, he began narrating his whole life, practically since the day he stood in front of his father with a black eye after trying to defend Marc Silverman. That day, he told Brooke, was the first time his dad told him he didn't have what it takes. Then he told her how he got into Medical School against his will after trying to become a pilot, and how he finished it a year early to start his internship at St. Sebastian.

With tears showing in his eyes, he told how demanding and stern his dad was on him, and how he pushed him all the time. Yet, he admitted, he felt admiration, love and respect for him, and a longing aim for his approval and recognition. But soon that feeling became into a fierce and obsessive competition with him.

Later on Jack told her how he met Sarah and how he fixed her after it seemed impossible. Therefore, he said, she fell in love with him. He admitted to Brooke he was doubtful the night before the wedding and that he couldn't write his vows. His dad was the one who helped him figure it out, with a drink at the pool. That moment, he affirmed, was the one he treasured the most among all the memories he had of his dad.

Then came the bad times, he said. He talked about his marriage with Sarah and how it fell apart. With sorrow and embarrassment he admitted to Brooke that he believed his dad was Sarah's lover, and how he beat the shit out of him and drove him to alcohol again after more than 50 days sober. He told about his days in Puckett and about the lover he had there. She was the one that tattooed him, he declared, and even revealed what the tattoos meant. Soon after he got them, he explained, he was expelled from that place and never welcomed again, without knowing why.

Then he returned to Los Angeles and to the hospital, to face the ultimate confrontation with his father. Stifling his crying, Jack said how he had betrayed him that fatidic day in front of the Hospital Board, which had led to his dismissal as a doctor. That, he assured, made his dad run away to Australia. Then his mother ordered him to bring him home, but it had been too late, because he died there. He regretted never telling him he loved him. And that's how he ended on that plane that crashed on the island.

Stunned, Brooke heard silent every single thing Jack had been through on the island. He narrated how he met Kate and how he fell in love with her. He confessed she was a criminal and all the things she'd done. He also spoke about all the terrible things he'd done there, but swore to her all he did was to protect his people. He told her how he'd learnt on the island, by an absurd coincidence, that his dad was indeed proud of him and loved him. He even admitted to Brooke that, even to that day, he wished his father was around because he missed him and loved him after all.

Finally, he told Brooke how he found out about Claire and how they came back to the real world. Then he told her about his life with Kate. He described his happy days beside her, and how blessed he felt when each of his kids were brought into this world. Then he narrated how Kate died because she was running away from him again. He described how torn he felt because of her betrayal and how hard it had been for him to keep going every day.

All his life, he admitted, he'd been carrying a lot of baggage. He spoke for hours, with exact details and words and places, like he was making a balance of his actions for the Last Judgment.

– Then you came along, and here I am… –he said before clamming up. He didn't dare to look at Brooke. That was it. He had finally revealed his soul. But after listening to himself, he was convinced she wouldn't like it.

Brooke placed her hand on his cheek and made him look at her. – Thank you, Jack. –she said. He threw a questioning look. – For telling me all this. Now I really know who you are. –she added with a sweet smile.

– I feel so ashamed and…

But she gave him a short kiss to silent him. – You don't have to be ashamed of anything, Jack. You did what you had to do. And if all you've been through was meant to happen, so that you can be here with me tonight, then it was all worth it. I love you and nothing will ever change that… –she affirmed determined, with a huge glint in her eyes.

He threw himself in her arms and finally surrendered to himself, to her, to love and to happiness. He cried his eyes out for all the pain, the guilt, the rage, the fear and the shadows in his heart. He cried for his father, for Sarah, for Boone, Shannon, Ana Lucia and all the people he couldn't save on the island, all the people he left behind. He cried for Kate, her betrayal and her loss. He cried for his children not having a mom, for making Brooke cry and for missing her birthday. Meanwhile, she just held him tight, repeating in his ears that everything was fine, and placing little kisses on his head. It was true, he thought, everything was fine because she was there. He'd finally found his rock. For the first time in his life, he felt _safe._

As if he'd been through an exorcism, he fell asleep in Brooke's arms, exhausted. His peaceful breathing and the warmth of his body lulled her too. She leaned him on top of her and fell asleep right there on the couch.


	47. Chapter 47

Sorry, soooooooorry! I know it's late, but it's still Friday, as promised. I'm back and here you have a new chap. Before you complain, let me tell you I'm entitled to be cheesy sometimes, haha! Enjoy...

P.S. Foxy4ever, thanks dear, I did have a nice trip ;)

**Chapter 47**

It was already dawn when Jack opened his eyes. During their sleep they had switched positions and now Brooke was lying on him, her legs entangled with his, both completely dressed, but with no shoes. He felt relieved when he saw her. At last, the heavy bricks he'd been carrying weighed no more on his back.

With all delicacy he moved to carry her to her bedroom. Holding her in his arms, he wandered the apartment until he found it. He placed her softly on the bed and kissed her. Then he felt thirsty and left the room to seek for the kitchen. As he walked through the apartment, he realized it was totally her style. It was cozy and transparent.

He looked at the pictures around the place. Some of them showed beautiful portraits of Brooke, probably of her model days. Others were more causal, showing her with her friends. He could recognize Ilana in a lot of them. Others made him laugh, since Brooke was making funny faces. Patrick was in some others, and that made him feel somehow concerned. And in the others, he could tell, Brooke was with her parents and brother. Terry definitely resembled Mr. Julian, but Brooke was an interesting mix of both her dad and her mom.

– Snooping around, huh? –Brooke said from the corridor, leaning on the wall, with a smug smile on her lips.

He turned around and saw her still in the red dress, barefoot, her messy hair resting on her shoulders. With the intensity of their encounter and their conversation last night, he totally forgot. He stared at her intently, his eyes glinting.

– What? –asked Brooke, puzzled by the look in his eyes.

He approached her and held her in his arms, cornering her against the wall. Then he gave her a vehement kiss. – You're not _that_ tall…

Brooke threw a short laugh. – It's the heels…

– And you look so much better than I thought in this dress… –he said, kissing her neck afterwards. – All I could think about was taking it off…

She pushed him a little to make him stop and seek for his eyes. – What are you talking about? –she asked with eyes wide open.

– You look hot in red… –he affirmed, kissing her lips passionately.

But she broke the kiss. – Are you saying you got me this dress? –she asked surprised.

– Yeah. I guess you liked it…

– But wait, how did you know…? –she asked looking at herself.

– Baby, I think I know you quite well… –he stated, caressing her hips and looking at her with lust.

– Jack, I'm serious…

– Okay, I got some help…

Brooke smiled and rolled her eyes. – Ilana. She told you my size.

– No. She just told me you had dropped some pounds.

Brooke couldn't believe it. She gave him a questioning look, waiting for an explanation.

– Um… Back home, I was on the street and I saw the dress in a shop window. All I could think about was you in it. That's when I decided I was coming to look for you. So I called Ilana and asked her, but she said she doesn't know your size anymore, because you lost weight. I just took my chance, I guess. I went in and knew it was perfect for you. I thought I'd be a nice birthday present…

– How you got in here?

– Ilana did that.

– But why a dress?

– To be honest with you… because I wanted you to wear it and then get to take it off… –he admitted frankly, kissing her neck. Then he felt her trembling. – Hey… what's wrong? –he asked softly, cupping her face.

– Jack… you're really my prince charming … –she affirmed with happy tears in her eyes.

He didn't understand what she meant, but at that moment Brooke realized they were meant for each other. He'd just fitted her perfectly in a beautiful dress, turning her into a real life Cinderella.

She kissed him eagerly and dragged him into the bedroom. Then she sat him on the bed and spread her legs around him. She unbuttoned his shirt impatient, whilst his hands ventured under the dress, caressing her thighs. He broke the kiss and looked deeply at her body. Then he undid the dress with surgical precision, revealing her bra. He went from zero to ten in a second flat, and immediately took it off, releasing her breasts. Afterwards he rolled over and laid her on the bed, and almost ripped off her panties, while she eagerly tried to undo his belt and zipper.

– I missed you so much. –she moaned in his ear when he finally merged in her.

– I missed you too… –he affirmed to her lips.

They loved each other with sweet devotion, with the joy and hope of those who finally find water in the middle of the desert, or those who see the daylight after a long, dark stormy night.

They stayed in the bed for hours, making up for the time they were separated, which had felt like ages for both. Jack missed talking with her, so he talked and talked nonstop. He also played with her hair, watched her sleep, drew circles all over her skin and kept repeating to her ears that he loved her and needed her.

Before noon they were starving, and that was the only reason they left the bed. Brooke showed him the apartment and then cooked pasta for him. Later on she showed him more pictures, the ones taken by Marty included. She cuddled up to him on the couch and wished they could stay like that forever. They lost notion of time until the phone rang. Brooke didn't want to answer, but Jack insisted that she had to, so reluctantly she picked up.

– Hello?

– So, are you _finally_ living happily ever after? – Ilana asked playfully from the other side of the line.

– Hey! –Brooke replied high pitched and happy. – Uh, yeah, I guess you can say that… –she stated, giggling.

– Well, Hallelujah! Because, sweetie, I was like _this_ close to needing medication with all this drama…

– Oh, you're so mean… –Brooke affirmed mischievously.

– Am I? Anyway, since Prince Charming is at last in town, you have two choices: dinner tonight or brunch tomorrow, and he's buying, so…

– Ilana! –Brooke said jaw-dropped, stunned.

– Honey, you _so_ don't get to say "no"! Just ask him if you don't believe me. The girls are waiting, so, you let me know, okay? Bye! –and Ilana hung up.

– What did she say? –Jack asked amused, seeing Brooke's puzzled face.

– She said we're meeting either tonight or tomorrow for brunch, no refuses allowed.

Jack threw a short laugh. – Fine.

– Jack, what's this all about?

– What? –he asked nonchalant.

– You, Ilana, the whole mystery?

– There's no mystery, she's just my partner in crime, that's all.

– And the crime would be…?

– Getting you back, of course…

– Oh… so, what do you prefer, dinner or brunch?

– Well, that depends.

She raised an eyebrow. – On what?

– On when we're seeing your parents.

Brooke opened her eyes wide. She had totally forgotten about her parents. During that month she had managed to keep her family out. She never mentioned she had broken up with Jack, because she wanted to be back on track when she told them, so that they had nothing to worry about. She nodded. – Right…

Then she called her mom. Jack watched her while she waited for her to pick up. She was biting her lip, nervous. He couldn't help but smile. There were some things in which Brooke was somehow childish, like dealing with her parents, but that only made her more adorable. – Mom? Hey…

– Hi dear, how you're doing? Your birthday dinner was good?

– Yeah, it was great. Uh, I wanted to tell you that Jack's here, so, maybe you want to meet him, if you have time, you know...

Vivian rolled her eyes. – Of course we want to meet him, Brooke, haven't we begged you to bring him? You should have told me he was coming though. I'll barely have time to…

– Mom, please don't make a big deal. This is not a feast. –she pleaded. – Just something very, very casual, just us?

– Fine, tomorrow at 7:00.

– Okay, I'll see you then… –she hung up and then looked at Jack. – Well, I guess we're having dinner with Ilana tonight.

– Great. –he replied.

Then Brooke called Ilana to let her know.

When the night came, they went to the same restaurant Brooke and her friends always went to, the one she had been at the night before. Out in the New York streets, Jack remembered about his college days and his life there. It had been a long time since he last visited the city, so he found it really vibrating and exciting.

Once at the restaurant, Melissa and her boyfriend, Claudia and her husband, and Ilana and Lance were waiting for them, expectant. She introduced everybody and they had a very nice, amusing dinner. All her friends liked Jack, and he liked them back. Things couldn't be more perfect, she thought.

At some moment, Ilana stood up to go to the ladies' room. As if they had planned on it, Brooke followed her immediately, as well as Claudia and Missy. In front of the mirror, fixing their hair and make-up, the girls got started.

– Oh Brooke, he's so hot! No wonder why you were, like, dying for him! –Claudia assured.

– And he's like so cool and confident, I can't believe he's almost 40, I was kind of waiting for a Mr. Boring. –Melissa stated.

– You make such a wonderful couple sweetie! –Claudia affirmed thrilled.

– Thank you guys! So you really like him? –Brooke questioned excited.

– Of course we like him! How couldn't we? –Melissa replied.

– God! Now I'm really going to puke! You're so cheesy, it makes me sick. –Ilana said rolling eyes.

– God, you're such a party pooper! –Claudia snapped to Ilana.

– I'm not, I just hate when you talk like the fucking Stepford Wives. –Brooke laughed and then Ilana announced. – Okay guys, let's go back, we don't want to keep our men waiting. –she ordered, ushering Missy and Claudia to the exit.

Both girls left the bathroom but before Ilana could get out, Brooke grabbed her arm and made her stay. – Okay missy, you're not going anywhere until you tell me everything.

– Tell you what?

– Everything! I want to know how it all happened. When did Jack call you, how, why, what he told you, how he got me the dress, did he sent it here? When you got it in my place…

– Man! You ask too many questions… –she said annoyed. – Just give it a rest, have fun, enjoy the ride… –But Brooke gave her a "Don't fuck with me" look. – Fine… well, I was as surprised as you, believe me. I never thought that, from all people on the planet, he'd ask me for help. But two days ago, after I left your office at night, my phone rang, and it was him. Don't ask me how he got it, 'cause I don't know… –she snapped when Brooke was about to interrupt. – Anyway, he was like all jittery and the first thing he said was "Hi Ilana, I'm Jack, please don't hang up". –Brooke burst out laughing when she heard Ilana could really imitate Jack's voice. – And I was like "what the fuck?!" So he tells me he's in a store and that he's buying you a present, but he doesn't know your size. And I was so shocked, I didn't know what to say and I just told him I had no idea, because you'd lost weight. I didn't even tell him the size you used to be, because, really Brookie, for a second I thought the man was on dope or something. So, he sighed and told me he was buying it anyway, and asked me not to tell you, and he hung up. I was frozen, and I didn't know what to do. I told Lance about it. We agreed that I wasn't telling you anything, because I didn't know what the hell was going on. Then, about an hour later, he called me back. –Brooke's eyes went wider in expectation. – And he told me that he loved you and that he wanted to see you and talk to you to fix things, so he asked me how he could make it happen.

– And what did you say? –Brooke asked thrilled.

– First of all, I asked him to tell him what freaking present he'd got. He told me it was a dress, and it totally hit me Brooke. I figured it all out. I told him to send it to my place like immediately, and told him about your birthday dinner and the time you'd be back home. He's a smart guy sweetie, he totally got me. The package got here yesterday at first hour, so I just sneaked at your place at lunch time and left it on your bed. And here we are…

Brooke was almost in tears after she heard the story. – So that's why you were so weird, huh?

– Yup. –she said proud.

– Uh-huh… and why did you help him?

– Because you both deserve to be happy sweetie. I always knew he loves you, I never doubted it. Time proved me right. And, what the hell, I like the bastard, I can't help it. He amazes me. That dress Brooke, it's perfect. He's so right for you… –Ilana declared tenderly.

Brooke threw herself in her best friend's arms. – Thank you Ilana. He's my Prince Charming, but you're my fairy godmother, and you have no idea of how happy I am. I owe you forever. –she said.

– Oh no baby, _he_ is the one who owes me. He just sold me his soul and he doesn't even know it, isn't that sweet? –she said impishly, putting her hand on her heart.

– Oh God, you're such a bitch.

– I know, and I love it. So, let's get out of here, okay?

– Fine…

When they got back to the table, Jack was having a great laugh with the other guys. Brooke was delighted with his smiled. He looked happy and comfortable.

Then the dinner was over, and they went to Brooke's. Once the door closed behind them, they just couldn't take their hands off each other. They made sweet love and then fell asleep.

The next day, they got up and took a shower. Jack wanted to see the city, so they left to have brunch out. He totally rediscovered New York and he felt young again. Then they went back to the apartment to get ready for dinner at the Julians'. Brooke was nervous, but tried not to show it. Yet Jack knew her perfectly and realized she was tense. _They'd like me, I swear,_ he told her blinking an eye, with a smug smile. She giggled. After all, how could anybody not like him?, she thought.

At her parents', her mom cooked a fancy dinner, and her aunts and Terry were also there. They all felt relieved when they saw that Jack had actually showed. He was everything Jack had told them about. He answered all the questions everybody asked. He even apologized for not being at Mr. Julian's birthday party and for not meeting them before.

He declared to their faces that he was "absolutely in love with Brooke" and that he would try to come to the city more often, so she wouldn't have to travel every Friday. He was open when talking about his kids and his life in L.A. Brooke's parents, polite as they were, didn't ask unnecessary questions. When the night was over, they were totally pleased and gave Brooke approving looks. Then Jack promised Terry that he'd get to meet Charlie Pace, his brother-in-law, anytime soon. Terry just couldn't believe it.

Back in the apartment, they were lying on the bed, nude, after making love again. Brooke sighed. She had to ask. – So… when you're going back home?

– You want me to leave already?

– Of course not. But I guess the kids miss you…

– Yeah, I miss them too.

– So, what's next? –she asked nostalgic.

He rolled on top of her and kissed her passionately. – You're coming with me. We're leaving tomorrow.


	48. Chapter 48

Hello again! I know I didn't post on Monday, but I made it up to you with this chapter. A lot happens in it, it's long and sweet, but we're almost there guys, this story is almost over. Thank you for keeping reading, and guess what? This story has been listed in a C2 Community!! I'm _so_ excited!! Thank you really! Foxy4ever, I send you a big hug. Enjoy...

**Chapter 48**

After Jack saw Brooke's scrawls in that notebook, he felt overwhelmed and confused. Was he really missing the chance of being happy again? Was Brooke really the one for him? Would it finally last forever? To that point, he really couldn't afford to be heart-broken again, because that would be it for him. That's why he was so afraid and hesitant about letting Brooke in. Yet all the signals were there, he missed her like hell, he loved her madly and, above all, the whole shutting-her-out idea felt like a terrible mistake.

The very day of Brooke's birthday, of course he remembered the date. He thought of calling her, but then doubts filled his heart again. What if she didn't want to know anything about him anymore?

At the hospital, he couldn't concentrate at all. In one of the hallways, he saw Patrick in the distance. What if he had told her about their fight? Or even worse: what if he had told her his feelings for her, the real ones? Then he started imagining what Brooke would be doing. Was she throwing a party to celebrate? She loved parties, she'd have one for sure, he thought. Who was with her? Was she with another man? He should be the one standing beside her when she blew her candles out. Those thoughts tormented him the whole day, but he didn't dare to call her.

At night, he dreamt of her. He dreamt he was following her through a dark alley, and she was walking nonstop without looking back. He kept calling her name, shouting to make her stop and look at him, but she just didn't. And every time he was about to reach her, she ran, leaving him behind. When he woke up, a terrible feeling of despair surrounded him. He couldn't take it anymore.

When lunch time arrived the next day, he needed some fresh air and went out for a walk. He found himself wandering on Rodeo Drive. He kept walking, looking down and rubbing his head. When he raised his eyes, he saw in the middle of the crowd a woman he swore was Brooke.

He ran to reach her and when he got to her, he even turned her around to make her face him. _Brooke!_, he yelled, panting. The woman was stunned at first, thinking he was some kind of pervert, but she lowered her guard when he saw the handsome man standing in front of her. _I'm not Brooke, but I can be if you want_, she said with a flirtatious attitude. _I'm sorry, I… I confused you with someone else_, he said embarrassed. _Of course you did_, the woman said, sighing, and then continued her way.

He followed the woman with his sight, abashed. Then, he turned left and saw himself reflected in a shop window. He looked like he'd just come out of hell. But then, behind his reflection, he saw beautiful red dress. His imagination started running wild immediately. He imagined how it would be if he got it for Brooke. He'd pick her up at the airport like every Friday night, and then they'd go to the condo. There, he'd surprise her with a beautiful present wrapped in a fancy box with a nice bow. She'd unwrap it thrilled and excited, take out the dress, and then she'd tell him it was beautiful and throw herself in his arms and cover him in kisses to thank him.

Then he'd take her out to a very romantic and fancy restaurant. They'd have a great dinner with champagne and a delicious dessert that included chocolate. Then they'd go back to the apartment, dazed by the champagne bubbles, and he'd kissed her sweetly and then take off the red dress slowly to reveal her body and make love to her.

That story was really great, he thought when he came back to reality, disheartened. _Wait, what am I doing? _He thought. He could make it come true. Why was he running away from love and happiness? He wasn't a coward, and even though he risked being hurt again, he'd fight for it. And Brooke was not like that, he remembered. He'd never let him down because he truly loved him. He had to get her back and never let her go. But how?

He thought of asking Patrick for help, but since things were so rough between them, he thought that was a very bad idea. Then it came to him. If there was someone able to help him, that was Brooke's best friend. He grabbed his cell phone and called his secretary. He ordered her to get Ilana's phone from Patrick's secretary. Three minutes later she paged him the numbers of Ilana's office and cell phone. That's when he called her, afraid she would tell him to fuck off, but she didn't. Yet, he felt disappointed when he couldn't get Brooke's size from her. He decided to get the dress anyway.

He went inside the store and asked one of the saleswomen to give him the dress. _What size, sir?_ She asked. _I don't know_, he replied hesitant, _show me every size you have and then I'll know_, he demanded. So did the woman. _No, that's too big_, he kept telling her as she showed him all the sizes there were. _I'm afraid that's all we have sir_, she stated. _I don't think so_, he said looking determined at the one in the shop window. _I want that one_, he declared. The saleswoman nodded and asked permission to the manager to remove the dress from the window. _This one is kind of small, sir_, the woman declared putting the dress in front of him, so he could take a better look of it. He looked at it intently. _Yeah, this one will fit her_, he affirmed, and then took his credit card out of his wallet and handed it to the woman.

Once out of the store, he called Ilana again. Then they figured out the plan. Before he went back to the hospital, he sent the dress to New York. He felt jittery, but satisfied. He knew he was doing the right thing, but now he felt anxious. He couldn't wait to see her and work things out.

Back in the hospital, he went straight to Patrick's office.

– Hey… –he said from the door frame. – Can I talk to you?

Patrick looked at him stunned. – Of course. –he replied nodding, inviting him to take a seat.

– I want to… apologize for the other day. I was an ass. You were right about everything, and I was out of myself. –Patrick nodded, astonished by his determination. Jack went on. – But I want you to know that I'm mending my way. I want Brooke back and I'm going to New York to look for her. I love her, and I need to know whether that's going to be an issue between us, all of us, or not.

Patrick raised an eyebrow. – What you mean?

– Listen, Patrick. You might not believe what I'm about to say, but I really appreciate your friendship, and I know Brooke loves you as a brother. It would be terrible if this whole thing got in the way and bothered any of us.

– What thing?

– Your feelings for her. I need to know that we're going to be cool about it. I can live knowing you love her, but if having her around with me is going to hurt you…

Patrick cut him off and threw a short laugh. – You're out of your mind man. It's nothing like that. My feelings for her are not what you're thinking at all. I'm glad you've finally figured it out, and I'm sure as hell that she's waiting for you to call her. You better not fuck it up this time. –he said honestly.

– So we're cool. –Jack asked for reassurance.

– Absolutely.

– Thanks man. –he said as he stood up and left Patrick's office.

When he got home, he went to Margo. She tried to look surprised when he "confessed" he was in love with a woman. _I've been seeing her for five months now, and if I get lucky, I'll be bringing her on Monday_, he declared. His mother tried to hide her winning smile. _Fine, I'll arrange a nice dinner_, she assured nonchalant.

Then he went to Jackie's room. For his surprise, Brett was in there too. – Hey you… –he greeted his kids.

– Hi daddy! –both kids said in unison as they reached for him to hold them.

He sat on the floor. – I want to tell you something.

Jackie opened her eyes wide and sat in front of her dad. Brett wasn't that interested, but Jackie patted on him. – Brett, daddy's talking to us, pay attention. –she demanded. Brett stopped playing with his toys reluctantly.

When Jack had the eyes of their expectant kids on him, he ran out of words. How was he going to explain? – Well kids, uh… you know, since your mommy went to Heaven, I've been… very lonely, and I don't like it. So, I met someone, someone very special, and now is time that you meet her…

Brett didn't understand a damn and looked confused at his sister. Jackie rolled her eyes. – What daddy's trying to say is that he's got a girlfriend Brett, and he's bringing her home. –she explained before the amazed look of her father.

– Oh… –said Brett nonchalant. – Do I have to wear a suit? –the little kid asked concerned.

Jack threw a short laugh. – No son, not at all.

But then he got serious again and continued. – I want you to know that you don't have to worry, because you'll always be the most important thing in the world to me. If there's anything you don't like about her or about… anything, you tell me immediately, okay? –he advised.

– We know daddy. Don't worry, we'll get along. –Jackie assured. – Now Brett, go to your room and let me talk to daddy okay? –the girl ordered determined. Jack was astonished with how mature his daughter was. She was confident and concise.

After Brett left the room, Jack was waiting for his daughter to talk. – When is she coming daddy? –she questioned.

– On Monday… I hope… –he said hesitant. After all, they still had to work things out, with the risk of Brooke not wanting to take him back.

As if Jackie could read his mind, she announced: – She's coming dad, don't worry. –she said certain, putting her little hand on her dad's shoulder.

He felt moved by the gesture. – Honey, I want you to forgive me because that day when you asked me about this, I wasn't honest with you, and I'm sorry. I'll never, ever, hide things from you again, I promise.

– It's okay daddy, you were not ready then. I understand. –she stated.

Then he held his daughter in a long sweet embrace, and Jackie felt relieved and happy for her dad. – I'll let you know before she comes, okay?

– Cool! –Jackie said as she saw her dad leaving the room. Then she looked under her bed and dragged out a box. She searched between all the drawings she had in it and found those she had been waiting to show Brooke. – Finally! –she declared looking at them satisfied.

Brooke was sitting at the window. The flight to L.A. was being eternal. Jack had fallen asleep and she had finished reading all the magazines on board. She kept looking at the sky, thinking.

– Why you're biting your nails? –Jack asked drowsy, taking her hand off her mouth. – Don't do that.

– Okay, I'll try. I'm just… I don't know why I feel so nervous.

– Neither do I. There's nothing to be nervous about, they're going to love you.

– Right… but what if they don't? –she asked looking at him concerned. – What if your kids don't like me, Jack?

He smiled sweetly at her. – Give me one reason for them not to like you. You're young, beautiful, vibrant, you have a great sense of humor, you love costumes and parties, and you can bake cookies, what else could they ask for?

She laughed shortly. – I, uh… I don't know.

– The kids are not a problem. Claire, she's very sweet, you've already seen each other, at least once. Charlie's very friendly, he's really a people person, and you know Hurley. As for my mom… –he said and then went silent.

Brooke had to conceal. – What about her?

– Well, she's kind of… picky. You need to know that she never likes the girls I date, so don't make a big deal about it. It doesn't matter, okay? –he assured looking deeply at her.

She looked down and smiled sarcastically. He had no idea. – So you think she won't like me, huh?

– Uh… yeah. But it's not because of you. It's her. She thinks no one's good enough for me. She wasn't quite pleased with Sarah and she never liked Kate. So, I won't be surprised if she finds objections for you.

She smiled. – Well, I'll do my best then… –she said. – But to be honest with you, your mom doesn't worry me at all.

– Oh really? –he said raising his eyebrows. – Then there's nothing to be worried about.

She took a deep breath. – Okay…

When they got to L.A., they went first to the condo to leave Brooke's luggage. _God, I missed this place_, she said when she stepped in. He tried to get physical, but she shook her head in disapproval. _No way baby, I barely have time to get ready_, she declared. She wanted to make a good impression, but she didn't want to overdress. It was still winter, but L.A. was warmer than New York. She picked denim pants, a white shirt and a brown chamois leather jacket, that got to her waist. She completed the outfit with a wide belt, a stylish scarf and nice brown boots, with high heels of course. He also took a shower and wore jeans as well, with a black shirt and a black leather jacket. They were ready to go.

– This is a very nice neighborhood. –Brooke affirmed when they entered the street where Jack lived on.

– I'm glad you like it. –he said looking at her pleased.

When they finally got to Jack's home, he pulled over and opened the door for her. She went inside. It was a huge beautiful house, furnished with excellent taste. She could see a big garden and a pool at the end of the large room, behind the French windows. The table was already set, but the house was awkwardly quiet.

– Where's everybody? –he asked– They're supposed to be here by now. Brooke followed him to the living room. – Mom? –he yelled from the foot of the stairs. Then he looked at Brooke. – I'll be right back, okay? –she nodded, and he ran upstairs to look for Margo and the kids.

After she lost sight of him, she walked to the French window that revealed the pool area. She opened it and went outside. It was a beautiful night and the moon shined bright above her. Jack had a beautiful pool area, and standing there she felt like she was really experiencing the California style. She smiled to herself. She walked around the pool and then she heard a little whisper coming from behind her.

– Hey!

She turned around and saw a cute dollhouse in the middle of the garden. – Hey! –she heard again from there. – Come here!

She approached and saw behind one of the tiny windows a pair of huge hazel eyes. She bent over and looked inside. – Hey… what are you doing in there? –she asked amused.

– Get in here… –the little voice said. She smiled widely and squatted to get inside the dollhouse. She managed to sit inside with her legs folded against her chest. – Why are you hiding? –she asked.

– 'Cause I'm not supposed to be here. My sister told me to stay in my room. Who are you? –the little boy asked.

Brooke was delighted. She knew that was Brett from the moment she saw his eyes, the same eyes Jack and Margo had. – I'm Brooke. –she said extending her hand to him.

– I'm Brett. –he said shaking her hand. Brett was staring at her with huge curiosity, and Brooke couldn't help but smile. She was discovering in his face all the features of his dad. – So, Brett, what are we doing here? –she asked sweetly.

– Are you going to be our new mommy? –he asked back frankly.

Brooke went mute. She never expected to hear such a question from a 4 year-old. Not that she didn't want to be like a mom to Jack's kids, but she didn't know what he had told them about her. They haven't even talked about how they'd manage that subject. – Why do you want a new mommy? –she questioned.

– Because I don't have one, and I want one. –Brett replied looking down, with a trace of sorrow in his little voice.

Brooke was moved by Brett's statement. – Of course you have one sweetie, and she loves you very much and she's watching you from Heaven. –she affirmed caressing his soft hair, really meaning it.

– But she doesn't talk to me, just to Jackie. I want a mommy that talks to me and plays with me. I want a mommy that is alive.

Brooke held Brett's chin and made him look at her. – If you want to talk to your mommy Brett, all you have to do is close your eyes and think of her. That way, you'll be able to hear her, because she lives in your heart. And she'll stay there as long as you remember her. –she told him tenderly and convinced. Brett's eyes went wider, as if he'd had an epiphany. Brooke went on. – But, in the meanwhile, I can talk to you and play with you if you want. –she said.

– Like a mommy?

Brooke laughed shortly. – Yeah, like a mommy.

As Brooke and Brett were talking, Jack and Jackie had been listening to the whole conversation. After Jack ran upstairs, he found Margo in Jackie's room, finishing with her granddaughter's hair. Margo said she'd be down in a minute, and Jack held Jackie's hand and walked to Brett's room to get him, but he wasn't there. When they got down, they saw Brooke at the very moment she was getting inside the dollhouse. He threw her daughter a complicity look and placed his finger on his lips in a "Be quiet" sign. They approached and started listening.

Jack was moved and pleased with Brooke's dealing of the situation. He knew from that moment that she would never intend to replace Kate and pretend she didn't exist, but would always respect her memory and her place as her kids' mother. Jackie was paying close attention too, and felt relieved when she heard Brooke was willing to take care of Brett like her mommy did.

After Brett heard Brooke's answer, he spontaneously hugged her, and she felt life couldn't be more perfect. Brett liked her, and now only Jackie was left.

– Hey… what are you doing in there? –Jack asked amused, interrupting their sweet bonding moment.

– Hey! –Brooke replied content. – Nothing, we were talking, right Brett?

– Yup. –he replied letting go off her.

– Get out of there. How could you get in anyway? –he asked Brooke, laughing and helping her out.

– I'm really stretchy. –she replied standing up.

– Boy, you have no idea. –he stated giving her an impish smile. She gave him a reproachful look, knowing what he was referring to.

– So, you've met Brett, and this is Jacqueline, my eldest daughter. –Brooke squatted to meet Jackie's face. – Hi Jackie, I'm Brooke.

– We've met before. –Jackie stated looking at her with wide deep eyes.

– Yeah, at your daddy's office. I remember.

– You said you were his patient.

– Uh… yeah. But actually, I'm not. –she said embarrassed.

Jackie giggled. – I know. You're my daddy's girlfriend.

Brooke flushed. – Yeah. –she answered shortly, glancing at Jack, who was watching the scene amused.

– Okay kids, let's get inside, granny's waiting. –Jack stated.

The kids ran to the house and he grabbed Brooke's hand, following them. Margo was waiting in the living room, standing up.

– Mom, this is Brooke.

Margo shook Brooke's hand. – It's a pleasure to meet you dear. –she said concealing, giving her a complicity look.

– Pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Shephard.

– Claire will get here any minute now. –Margo said looking at Jack. – Would you like some wine Brooke? –she asked.

– Sure, thank you.

The minute Margo asked the maid to bring Brooke a glass of wine, Claire popped into the front door, followed by Charlie, their kids and Hurley.

– Hey! –Claire greeted Jack with a wide smile.

– Claire, hi. This is…

– Hi Brooke, is great to have you here… –she stated holding her hand tight. Right away she made Aaron and Charlene say hi to Brooke.

– Dude, we thought we'd never see you again. –Hurley told her, giving her a long hug.

– So this is Jack's best kept secret, huh? I'm Charlie Pace, you probably know me though. –Charlie said breaking Hurley's hug and standing in front of Brooke, shaking her hand.

– I sure know you, my brother's a big fan of yours. –Brooke said thrilled.

– Smart guy your brother, you should bring him sometime.

– I will, he'll drop dead! –she said excited.

– Okay people… –Jack said between the buzz– time to eat, I'm starving really.

They went to the dinning room. Margo had cooked a very nice dinner and she was actually a very good cook. Yet Brooke thought her mom was better. She kept answering the questions everybody made the whole night, how she'd met Jack, how long they've been dating, how was her life in New York, what was her job about, and so on.

At some moment she was talking about music with Charlie and Hurley. Later on, Claire and Margo got very interested in the upcoming fashion trends and the gossip about models. Aaron asked her if the buildings in New York were the tallest in the country, and Brett wanted to know if it was true that they had the biggest toy shop in the world. The only one who remained sort of quiet was Jackie, and that concerned Brooke somehow. But all she was waiting for was her turn, and she kept listening to every word Brooke said with thorough attention.

At 9:00 pm, the kids were put to bed, and the adults went on with their gathering. Brooke was staying the whole week in L.A., so they even made plans with her, which kind of annoyed Jack. The truth was he wanted her all for himself. He couldn't wait to be back at the apartment to have a moment alone.

At 11:30 Claire and Charlie took their sleepy kids and left, as well as Hurley. Brooke tried to help Margo and the maid clearing the table while Jack walked everybody to the door. – Oh no dear, you're our guest, remain seated please.

Brooke stood anyway in front of Margo. – Mrs. Shephard, thank you very much, for everything. I feel really welcomed.

– I'm glad you do dear.

Then Jack was back in the dinning room. Margo spoke. – Now son, why don't you get Brooke's bags inside? –Brooke and Jack looked at each other abashed. – Because you're staying here, aren't you Brooke?

She flushed and Jack looked away. – Uh, no mom, actually she's staying in a hotel, her bags are already there. –he lied.

Margo threw a suspicious look. – But why?

– I, um, it's really nice of you Mrs. Shephard, but I respect you and the kids too much to just stay with Jack like that and…

– We have a guestroom dear, of course. Don't get me wrong… –Margo told her with a warning look. – So, Jack, why don't you go to this _hotel_ and bring her bags, huh?

Jack swallowed and looked back at Brooke concerned. That meant his mother wanted a moment with her alone. Brooke nodded and gave her an approving look, meaning he had nothing to worry about. – Fine then. I'll be back in 20 minutes, okay? –he told both and then kissed Brooke on the cheek. She flushed again.

When both women were alone, Margo looked at Brooke satisfied. – Well, you're finally here dear, that's a relief.

– Thank you Mrs. Shephard, you were right. All he needed was some time…

– Exactly, and call me Margo. Come on, I'll show you your room… –she declared as she guided Brooke upstairs.

– Okay, Margo. But you really think I should stay here? Won't that confuse the kids?

Margo raised an eyebrow. – Absolutely not dear. The kids know what's going on. Jack and I have talked about it with them, don't worry. Besides, that place is a mess, and you don't want to be anywhere near that Florence woman, believe me. –she stated rubbing her temple. – You have to tell Jack to get rid of that apartment, for good. –she demanded.

Brooke felt embarrassed when she realized Margo knew about the apartment and what was going on there. – Uh, I, yeah, but we really like it…

– If you want some room to escape from the world, you get another place with no housekeeper, for God's sake. But to that apartment, you're not going back. I won't let you be Florence's soap opera anymore… –she said determined.

Brooke was stunned, but she knew what Margo meant. Of course, she thought, Florence was how Margo had learnt everything about her and Jack. – Fine.

– Okay dear, I hope you like the arrangement I made for this room, if you don't like the sheets, the towels or anything, please let me know.

– Thank you Margo. –she said content looking at the room delicately decorated for her. Then Jack's mother gave her a hug. – Good night dear.

– Good night. –she said surprised with the gesture, but hugging her back.

As she saw Margo getting in her room, she smiled to herself pleased. Everything was going so great, she felt scared, but she immediately got rid of those pessimistic feelings. Then she felt a little patting in her leg. It was Jackie.

– Hey! What are you doing awake? –she asked.

But Jackie grabbed her hand and made her squat to cover her mouth and made her shut up. – You need to come with me… –Jackie whispered.

Brooke nodded stunned and followed her to her room. Once in there, Jackie sat on the bed and invited Brooke to join her.

– I want to see the bracelet.

– What? –Brooke asked confused.

– The one my daddy gave you.

– Oh… –she replied showing Jackie her right wrist.

The little girl nodded satisfied, now that she was certain that was the real Brooke she expected and not an impostor. – I was waiting for you. –she said.

– Really? Why?

Ignoring her question, Jackie kept speaking. – Did you know my mommy?

– No, I didn't.

– Would you like to meet her? –Jackie asked excited.

– Sure… –Brooke replied with a tender smile, puzzled. Jackie was very sweet.

Then the girl looked down under the bed and grabbed her special box, the one she kept her treasures in. As she was taking it out, she said: – When she died, my daddy put all her pictures and her stuff in boxes, and then put the boxes in the attic. But he let me keep this one, you want to see it? –she asked.

– Of course. –Brooke replied curious.

Jackie handed her the picture. When Brooke looked at it, she froze, and a deep shiver ran trough her spine. _That_ was the woman she had dreamt of, the one who told her not to give up when Jack broke up with her. She went mute.

– She talks to me in my dreams, but nobody believes me. Do you believe me, Brooke? –Jackie asked with eyes wide open in expectation.

She had to stifle her tears. – Yes Jackie, I believe you. –she said nodding, with a broken voice.

– You mean it?

– Yes sweetie. –she said looking deeply at the picture. – Your mom's beautiful, Jackie, and you certainly look like her. –Brooke affirmed.

– That's what everybody says. –Jackie declared. – So, now that you believe me, I have to tell you my secret.

Brooke returned her the picture and looked at Jack's daughter, puzzled. – Okay…

– I have a gift. I see things when I sleep, and then they happen. You think I'm a freak?

– Of course not. I think you're special.

Jackie smiled. – I made some paintings for you. –she declared handing Brooke all the drawings she had made.

Brooke looked at each one shivering. The walk in the park, the Christmas dinner, her Cat Woman costume, she arriving at Ilana's wedding, Jack buying the red dress, she opening him the door in it, everything was in her drawings. Even the dinner she'd just had with the Shephards was there, she could recognize her brown jacket in the scene. She felt overwhelmed.

– I saw all those things in my dreams. Now you have to tell me what they are, 'cause I don't know.

Brooke nodded and then took one of the drawings and told her the story. She did the same thing with each one of them. Jackie listened with full attention, but little by little she began to get drowsy and leaned on Brooke.

– I think you need some sleep Jackie. –she said softly. The little girl nodded. Then Brooke stood up and tucked her in.

– Can you stay here until I get asleep? –Jackie asked.

She felt moved. – Sure sweetie… –she replied and then lied beside her, meeting her face and her beautiful green expressive eyes.

Jackie's eyes were shutting every second, but she said something else. – You belong here, Brooke. No matter what happens, your place is here with us.

She was about to ask her what she meant, but then Jackie felt profoundly asleep. She watched her little freckled face and smiled. Soon after, she fell asleep too.

Jack was finally back in a really bad mood, 'cause one of the streets was blocked under repair and he had to take the long way, like everybody, and got into a traffic jam. He found all the lights off and everything quiet. He went straight to the guest room. Finally, he'd have a moment with Brooke. But she wasn't there, which he found very weird. Maybe she was still with Margo. He went to the studio, then to the pool, the kitchen. Nothing. He went to Margo's room, but she wasn't there either, he went anxious.

He checked on Brett, then on Jackie, and there she found Brooke. Both girls were asleep, breathing placidly. Brooke was lying on her back, and Jackie's head was resting on Brooke's belly. That was the sweetest thing he'd seen in a long, long time. Well, it seemed that night he was sleeping alone after all. He wasn't thrilled with the idea, but he approached the bed and removed Brooke's boots to make her comfortable. Then he kissed both her princesses on the forehead and went to his room.


	49. Chapter 49

Hello!! I know I took a week to post again, but I think you'll like this chap. Beautiful scenes, really. And quite an interesting ending, don't you think? Who could be that friend? Any ideas? Enjoy...

P.S. Foxy4ever, love u baby ;)

**Chapter 49**

The next Sunday Jack drove Brooke to the airport after a week of deep bonding between her and his family. He was absolutely content with the way things were going. Claire adored her, let alone Charlie and Hurley, and Aaron and Charlene even competed for her attention and her cookies.

What pleased him the most was how she and his kids were getting along. Jackie was getting closer with her within the hour, and as for Brett, Jack even joked and told her that if he was 16 instead of 4, they'd be having a "Brooke problem", because his little boy was simply in love with her, as much as himself.

For his surprise, even Margo, for the first time in life, liked the woman he loved. The next morning after the dinner they shared, he went straight to his mother and asked her. _Okay, you can tell me now_, he said. _Tell you what dear?_, Margo asked nonchalant. _Your complaints. Bring them_. _I know you don't like her, that's not news_. Margo opened her eyes wide and looked at him with disbelief. _I'm afraid you're wrong this time son, I really like Brooke. _Finally_ you've made a good choice_, she affirmed.

Brooke, on the other hand, couldn't wait to tell the world everything about her encounter with them. She wanted to introduce them to her family and friends, especially the kids. She already loved them as if they'd come from her own womb, to the point she even thought that if Jack decided to break up with her again, she'd keep in touch with Jackie and Brett no matter what.

As for them, as a couple, things were going excellent. They had a deep connection both physical and spiritual. She was his best friend and he meant the world to her. She had never felt so profoundly attached to someone.

Soon came April, and with it, Jackie's 9th birthday. Brooke asked her how she wanted to celebrate, and the girl stuck with a big princess-theme party and told Brooke to dress as Snow White. She did it with joy.

Time kept running, and now Jack and Brooke had a visiting deal. She was traveling one weekend to L.A. and then Jack went to New York the next one, so neither of them would spend a life time on an airplane, as Brooke had been doing the months before.

Sometimes he even brought the kids with him, and they loved it. Brooke's parents and aunts kept spoiling them nonstop, and Terry treated them like his own niece and nephew. The Julians monopolized the kids so much, they gave Brooke and Jack plenty of time to be alone and enjoy themselves.

That didn't happen when she was in L.A. though, because there his family was the one monopolizing Brooke. That's why Jack refused to sell the apartment, in spite of Brooke's suggestion. She didn't want to give it up either, but she had promised Margo she'd convince him, and she had to keep her word. But when Jack found out about their little secret arrangement, he told his mother he wasn't getting rid of that place, 'cause it was his hide-out, period. Therefore, Margo had no choice but to order insulating walls and windows for the apartment, without him knowing, of course.

The kids and Margo were used to Brooke's presence in the house now. That's why nobody found awkward or inappropriate that time when she spent the night in Jack's bedroom for the first time. The morning after she was kind of embarrassed and tried to conceal, but for her surprise, Margo wasn't upset and seemed pleased instead.

Yet Brooke was ashamed and tried to talk to Jackie. _Jackie, sweetie, I'm sorry_, she told Jack's daughter whilst feeding her chocolate pancakes with toothie smiles on them. _Sorry for what? _Jackie asked raising an eyebrow. _I should've told you I was staying with your daddy last night, I didn't mean to…_ But Jackie cut her off. _What's the big deal Brooke? That's what couples do. And it won't be the last time_, the girl declared before Brooke's stunned eyes. Surprised as she was with Jackie's naturalness, she felt relieved.

Another time, Brett broke into his dad's room, jumped into the bed and sought for Brooke's arms, because he was having nightmares. Thank God that night she was on her period and both she and Jack were sleeping in a proper pajama with the door unlocked.

When June arrived, Brooke began planning Jack's 40th birthday with huge excitement. She was definitely rolling out the red carpet. She arranged a celebration in New York with her friends, who now were Jack's as well. But the official party was in L.A. indeed, and it was wild and loud and gathered all Jack's closest relatives and friends.

When the party was over, they slipped to the apartment and had wild loud sex as well. He was feeling great. He felt happy and powerful, he was 40 and had the best woman on Earth by his side. It felt as if life had just started, like the old saying stated.

The next day, Brooke was getting ready to go back home. Reluctantly, he let her get up and take a shower _alone_. She was getting dressed quickly, because it had gotten late after Jack had jumped her once more.

He was watching her impassively while she was on her knees, desperately trying to find certain top and closing her huge bag at the same time, with a towel on her head, in her jeans and bra, barefoot. – Where the hell is my blue T-shirt? –she asked to herself.

– I think you left it in my room, back home. –he declared with no haste at all.

– Damn it! Whatever… –she said, tucking into another top she found in the bag. Then she realized Jack was still between the sheets with no clothes on. – Why aren't you getting dressed baby? –she asked.

– Do I have to? –he asked wryly.

– Um, yeah… unless you want to drive me to the airport wearing nothing but your bare skin, which would be disgusting, by the way. –she declared.

He laughed shortly, got up and started dressing discouraged. – Hey… –she said standing up– are you okay? –she asked getting closer to him and putting her arms around his neck.

– Yeah… it's just…

– What? –she questioned concerned.

– I hate to see you leaving. –he said holding her closer by the waist and kissing her softly.

– Oh baby… –she said moved– I hate to leave too… but what are we going to do, huh? –she said kissing his nose. – Come on, hurry up! We still have to get the kids…

That's when he knew what he had to do…

– So, are you going to do it? –Jack asked Claire with an expectant look.

– Of course I'll do it, but… you're sure about this Jack?

He looked at his sister disconcerted. – Absolutely, why? You think I shouldn't?

– No, no, it's not like that… I'm just surprised, that's all… it's going to be a huge change, you know?

– I know, that's what makes it so great. –he affirmed thrilled.

Claire smiled. Jack's eyes reflected huge excitement, like a child opening a present. – It's great to see you so happy. –she assured openly.

Jack looked down shy. – Yeah… thanks Claire… –he said, and then looked back sweetly at his sister. – By the way, I never told you…

– What? –she asked curious.

– That night, at the studio, I was a jerk, and I'm sorry. But don't think I don't remember everything you told me.

Claire remembered. – Well, seems you listened to me after all. –she said blinking an eye.

Then Jack held Claire tight in a spontaneous embrace. – I know I never tell you this, but I'm so blessed to have found you Claire. It's great that you're my sister. I'm lucky to have you. Everything I've been through, I could've never done it without your help.

Claire was completely moved and held him back strongly. – No, I'm the one who's lucky. I have the best brother ever… I can't wait to see New York. –she declared excited, after breaking the hug.

– You're going to like it, I'm sure.

– You bet! It's a whole new place! I've never been anywhere apart from Sidney and Los Angeles, and that island of course… –she said somehow nervous. After all, she'd never been on a plane again since they got rescued, afraid of flying.

– Hey… don't think of that, okay? Everything's going to be fine…

– I know…

That evening, when Brooke was finally at Jack's house, she went to Jackie's room to show her the new sneakers she'd got for her. – Jackie?!

But the girl wasn't there. A bunch of drawings she was painting drew Brooke's attention. Jackie had painted herself in a beautiful light gown, with a basket full of flowers in her hand. In another piece of paper, Jackie had painted Jack and her having picnic on a beach. – Get away from those! –Jackie said high pitched and upset.

Brooke jumped off the floor. – Jackie! You scared me!

But the girl didn't listen and quickly snatched the drawings out of her, which Brooke found weird. – Why you're hiding those from me? You always show me your drawings.

– But these are not finished yet! –Jackie snapped hiding them under her bed.

Brooke looked down in discomfort. – O…kay… –she uttered.

Jackie noticed she was being rude and felt bad. – I'm sorry Brooke, I didn't mean to be rude. It's just… I don't want to ruin the surprise… –she said sweetly holding her hand.

– What surprise?

– If I tell you then it won't be a surprise. ­–Jackie stated with a smug smile.

She smiled back. – Okay then. I won't ask you anything else. Come on, I have something for you…

The next day was a beautiful summer Saturday. The sun was shinning bright and the weather was hot. Charlie and Hurley were out at the recording studio. Margo was visiting her sister in Philadelphia for the weekend. Jack was playing with the kids in the pool, while Brooke watched them from a patio chair, wearing nothing but a swimsuit and sunglasses. Then Claire arrived with Aaron and Charlene, who immediately jumped in the pool to join their cousins and uncle.

– Hey… –Claire said.

– Claire, hi! –Brooke replied with a wide smile.

– That's a sexy swimsuit.

– Oh, thanks… don't you think it's too revealing? –Brooke asked somehow embarrassed.

– What are you talking about?! It's gorgeous. You show some skin while you still can, because later, when you become a mommy, you'd long for these days of sun-tanning, believe me.

Brooke smiled at the thought of being a mommy. She glanced at Jack and imagined how it would be to carry his third baby. – Yeah… I guess you're right.

– Because you want to get pregnant sometime, don't you?

– Uh, sure, I'd love too, but… –Brooke hesitated.

– But…?

– Nothing, I mean, I've never talked about that with Jack. I don't know if he wants another baby.

Claire rolled her eyes. – Are you kidding me? Of course he wants _your_ baby!

– You think so? He told you that?

Claire noticed the uncertainty in Brooke's look. – Um, no, he hasn't, but I know my brother. But tell me something…

– Sure…

– Let's say he doesn't want another baby… would you stay with him anyway?

– Yes. –she replied without hesitation. Claire opened her eyes wider, stunned. – I've thought about it, you know? And yes, I'd give that up for him. Jackie and Brett are great anyway, and I'd avoid baby fat and morning sickness. –Brooke declared with a soft smile.

– Wow… you really love him, don't you?

– More than anything in the world…

– I see, and it's great. –then Claire's look changed a little. – Don't you hurt him Brooke, I beg of you. He's loves you very much as well, and it would be awful if things went wrong…

Brooke removed her sunglasses and raised an eyebrow. – I'd never hurt Jack, Claire. I love him more than my own life. You don't have to worry. –she declared.

– Excellent. –she said in a very Charlie-ish style. Then she looked at Brooke intently. – She would've liked you…

– What? –Brooke asked puzzled.

– Kate… I'm sure she would've liked you…

– Oh… –she replied, looking away.

– Anyway, I want to ask you a favor…

– Anything…

– I'm… redecorating my house and, since you have such great taste and everything, I was thinking… would you mind helping me?

– Really? –Brooke asked thrilled, amazed by Claire's trust gesture.

– Absolutely, I mean, I want to change everything, tapestry, furniture, drapes, palettes, I want a whole new place, and I have no clue, so, are you in?

– Yeah! –Brooke replied excited. – I'll bring some magazines next time, so you can see some trends and suggestions.

– Cool!

One month after his birthday, Jack had planned a romantic weekend for him and Brooke at New York. He left the kids under Margo's and Claire's watch and agreed to call them as soon as everything was done. Both women were very excited.

That Friday, when he got to Brooke's apartment, he announced he had a surprise for her and needed a car to drive her "somewhere". She borrowed one from her dad. So, at first hour on Saturday, they hit the road. Jack knew exactly were he was going.

– So… where are you taking me?

– You'll see… –he said with a smirk.

– Okay…

– How about you tell me how's Claire redecoration going?

– Um… I really don't know. So far, she's going to be living in _my_ dream house…

He giggled. – Why?

­– Well, I showed her some magazines, some samples and stuff, then she began asking me what I'd pick, what colors I liked more, you know, and before I could notice, I was the one calling the shots!

He burst out laughing. – It's not funny, you know? –she stated– but she told me to feel free and choose, so I guess I just did it, you think I'm horrible?

– No, I don't.

– But she's the one supposed to call the shots! It's her house for God's sake! I mean, she's married to a rock star! Charlie has nothing to say about it or what? –she said laughing.

– Charlie does as Claire says.

– I bet. But this time she left it on me.

– And what's the big deal? They trust your style, and that's wise to do.

– I haven't been to her place lately, is it looking good at least?

– Oh yeah, it's awesome, I love the choices you made, actually.

– Really? What about the kids' rooms?

– They're lovely, everything is. –he assured.

They kept talking as Jack drove. After some time, Brooke recognized the road.

– Are we going to the Hamptons? –she asked puzzled.

– Uh… yeah.

– Fine, I won't ask anything until we get there, okay?

– Thank you very much…

Before noon they were in a nice Hamptons' neighborhood, classy but not pretentious or "rich kid"-styled as they usually are. The road was sided by nice residences with well-cared gardened areas. They got to a beautiful white house. He entered the drive way and pulled over.

– We're here… –he announced as he opened the door and helped her off the car.

Brooke looked at the house with curiosity. – This is very nice. Did you rent it?

– No. –he replied shortly. – Come on, let's get inside.

The house was amazing. It had everything, it was cozy and well illuminated. – Wow… –she said as she wandered the open kitchen, the living room, the dinning room. At the end of the large room, a big glass door was covered by a blind. She approached and opened it, revealing a beautiful terrace with a stairway that leaded to the beach. He was watching her amused while she scrutinized the house.

She went upstairs and found in the first storey 3 doors. She went inside one and found an empty room with a large window. Then she went to the second floor and found another room, but this one decorated with pastel colors and fairy motifs, it sure was the room of a girl. Then the last door revealed a boy's room. She could tell by the racing cars' theme.

Then she headed to the second storey. It had a nice open studio with empty bookshelves, a TV room and a door that leaded to the main room. Then, at the other side of the large room, she saw a stair that probably leaded to an attic. She went inside the main room. It was perfect and the view from the window was breath-taking. – Who lives here? –she asked curious.

– Right now, you and me. –he stated.

– Yeah, I know, but whose house is this?

– Why you want to know?

– Because this is my dream house, really. It's perfect.

– I, um, borrowed it… from a colleague…

– Well, he has excellent taste, I must say.

– He does. Anyway, I'm starving, you want to eat something?

– I think there's a grocery store nearby, we can go and I'll make something for you.

– The fridge is stuffed. –he said.

Her eyes went wider and she rushed to the kitchen. He followed her. The fridge had everything she needed indeed, and when she looked into the cabinets, she found all the utensils imaginable. – Awesome, this will do it… but how can all these be here?

– I planned this weekend, remember?

– Right.

She cooked a nice meal for both. The day was freaking hot, so they thought of taking a swim. The pool area was amazing. They got into the cool water and just relaxed. Then they got out and just laid under the sun. – We should've brought the kids. They would've loved this pool and the beach… –she said.

– We can bring them some other time. I wanted to be alone with you.

– Yeah me too…

– Well you don't sound so enthusiastic, you get bored with me?

– Of course not you dumb! I just miss them.

– I miss them too, but we're never alone. Back home, you're always on something with mom and Claire or the kids.

– Yeah, and when you're in New York, all you can think of is going with Lance on his extreme sports expeditions…

– I knew it. I knew you didn't like me going with him.

– It's not that, but seriously Jack, you guys have been going God knows where every damn weekend for the last month, how many sports are there left to try?

– See the bright side. If I didn't go with him, he'd be taking Ilana instead. And she's not that athletic, you know that. I'm sure _she_ appreciates my interest.

She laughed. – Well, you've got a point there…

As the day went by, they kept talking, making out, doing nothing. Two hours before the sunset, Jack made a suggestion.

– Now, why don't you wear one of those nice light dresses you have and take a walk on the beach with me?

She looked at him delighted. She couldn't think of anything more romantic. – Okay.

They both went upstairs and she quickly started the shower. He had to make quite an effort to not join her and jump her right there. Once she was out, he went in.

She was ready when he came out. He tucked into his jeans and put on a white polo shirt. They were ready to go.

He took her hand in his and guided her through the stairway. They started walking on the sand barefooted. The warm summer breeze played with her hair and went in and out her turquoise dress. They walked some miles, leaving the house behind. The daylight began to fade. They watched the sunset as they walked back to the house.

When they arrived, four torches were waiting for them in front of the house. A nice picnic had been set. A white blanket covered the sand, and two fancy plates with a chocolate tart on each were there, as well as champagne glasses. The scene was completed by a beautiful tulip bouquet in the middle.

She was astonished. – Oh my God, Jack!

– I hope you like it.

– This is beautiful, but why?

– Well, we didn't have any dessert, so… –he said mischievously.

They sat on the blanket and ate the tart. She covered him with chocolate-flavored kisses, with the moon and the stars as witnesses.

– You need to know something. –he told her.

– Okay…

– This decoration thing you were helping Claire with, it wasn't for her…

She stared at him puzzled. – What you mean?

– Look under the bouquet…

She lifted the vase that contained the tulips and found a message written on the sand that read "Dig up". She dug in wild frenzy. Soon she found a wooden box. She looked at Jack like a little girl asking for permission. – Come on, open it. –he said.

When she opened it, she revealed a beautiful silver key chain that held two objects: a key and a diamond ring. She couldn't utter a word and her skin covered in goose bumps. – Marry me Brooke. Marry me and move in this house with me and the kids.

That's when it hit her. She found that house so perfect because it was decorated the way she had told Claire to decorate hers. She began crying, emotions constricting in her chest. – I can't put it on. –she said shaking, since the ring was still in the key chain. He released it and put it delicately on her finger.

– So, will you be my _third_ wife Brooke? –he asked playfully to relieve her jitters.

She nodded and burst into nervous laughing. – Yes, Jack. Yes. –she said, tears still rolling through her cheeks. Finally, her dream had come true. She had pictured herself as Jack's wife so many times she had lost count of it. She threw herself in his arms and kissed him with passion and devotion at the same time. He kissed her back and soon the heat increased. They had to break it in order to breath. – Claire's such a good liar! It never crossed my mind… –she whispered in his ears.

– My idea…

She sought for his eyes. – Jack, you sure want to move here?

– Of course, why you ask?

– Well, you know, it's a total change. Won't the kids resent it? And what about your mom and Claire?

– The kids can't wait to move, really. They were like packing the minute I told them we were getting a house in the beach. As for my mom, uh… I was thinking to bring her with us, if you don't mind, I don't want to leave her alone…

– That's why there is an empty room, huh?

– Yeah, you know her. It's better if she makes herself comfortable. And Claire and Charlie are going to be our neighbors, and Hurley… he's already got the house next door. –he said rolling eyes. Brooke smiled content. – But if you don't like the idea, just tell me, we can…

– Baby I love it. We're going to be the best family ever, I love having them around. Now tell me, why you didn't ask me to move to L.A.?

– Because you don't like L.A. that much, do you? And this way you'll be close to your family and friends.

– Uh-huh, and?

– Um, and we can use a change, you know? I've been forever in L.A., it just got old. Being back in New York really energized me. It just seemed like the right thing to do…

– And? –she pushed, knowing there was something else.

– And, huh, well, I had to promise Ilana…

Brooke's jaw dropped in disbelief. – Promise her what? What did she tell you?

– Um, she said "If you take her away I'll fucking kill you", in accurate words. So, since she helped me getting you back and everything, I had to work things out. –he assured content.

She couldn't believe it. – Man, that Ilana, sometimes she just crosses the line…

– That's why I like her so much. And she's right, this place is better for the kids to grow up anyway.

– So, the whole extreme sports with Lance…

– Alibis. I was checking on the house actually. He was very supportive and joined me. But we'll be doing the expeditions later on.

– You're amazing, really. No one's better at throwing surprises than you. –she said and then kissed him deeply.

– So, when do you want to get married? –he asked.

– I just need a month to get everything ready. –she assured immediately.

– Fine. –he said tracing little kisses on her neck.

– Now, Dr. Shephard, take me inside or I'll have no choice but being a bad girl right here. –she said to his lips seductively.

When they were back from the Hamptons, they went to the Julian's to announce their engagement and Jack asked for Brooke's hand right there. Her family went crazy in excitement and began planning that very minute the ceremony and the reception. They just couldn't wait.

They decided to get married in New York. Both the Shephards and Margo's family were from Philadelphia, and most of their relatives lived there or nearby, so it was easier for them to go to New York than to L.A. The next week, the Julians threw a party to announce the engagement.

Then they went back to L.A. to celebrate and tell everybody there. Margo and Claire arranged a fancy reunion to announce the engagement as well, that would've made the Julians jealous. Jack's colleagues were there, some relatives they had in L.A., friends of the family, Patrick, Varya, Derek, Marion and all his friends were there too.

Jack was smiling all the time and seemed extremely happy. He was chatting with one of St. Sebastian's Board members when the maid approached him and asked him for a word.

– Dr. Shephard, someone is looking for you.

– Who?

– He says he's and old friend of yours, but he didn't say his name.

– Then send him in.

– He says he needs to talk to you in private. I told him to wait at the studio.

Jack had no idea who the hell it could be and found it really weird. Yet he headed to the studio, while Brooke watched him from the living room.


	50. Chapter 50

Hello again! Here you have a new chapter, it's short. Only 2 more left and this story will get to its end... :( Mmh... now where do you think things will go after this? Any guesses?

Foxy4ever, how did you know? You smartie! ;) Was it predictable?

Enjoy...**  
**

**Chapter 50**

Jack smiled wryly at himself and shook his head, really surprised by the dark silhouette of the "old friend" who was waiting for him staring at the window. – I never thought I'd see the day. –he affirmed crossing his arms against his chest after closing the door behind him.

– Neither did I… So, you're getting married. Now _that's_ a surprise… Lucky you…

Jack's look hardened, finding that comment not amusing at all. – What do you want Sawyer? –he asked, not losing his calm.

– I think you have something that's mine. –Sawyer affirmed, finally facing Jack. He had cut his hair and was wearing a suit with no tie. He looked tired and still had that signature sarcastic smirk of his, and the same sorrow that'd lived in his eyes since Jack first met him.

– Do I?

Sawyer smirked again. – Don't play bimbo doc. Doesn't suit you. I did my homework, read the reports. I know you have it.

– I have what?

– The letter. I know the police gave it to you.

Jack smiled wryly. – I have it. And it will be really interesting to hear how come I have it. Tell me, Sawyer, did you lose it before or after you left Kate bleeding to death in the wreckage of the car and took the money? –he asked with a scathing voice.

Sawyer looked down in discomfort. – It wasn't like that.

– Oh, right. You also took some time to call 911, how kind of you. –Jack replied sarcastic.

Sawyer threw a wry short laugh. – I need that letter back, doc. There's no use in talking about the past, so why don't you just give it to me?

Jack laughed, really amused by Sawyer's demand. – Why is that piece of paper so important to you? I thought you'd lost it on the island. It's hardly readable anyway. –he asked curious.

– Well, I'm a sentimental. But that certainly ain't of your business.

– What the hell are you doing in my house? I think _that's_ of my business.

– Easy doc. No need to be so damn rude. As I said, all I want is what's mine.

– I won't give anything to you until you tell me what happened that night.

Sawyer rolled his eyes. – Damn it, Jack-O, you just have to make it difficult, don't you?

Jack laughed harder. – _I'm_ the one that makes it difficult! That's a good one actually.

– What do you want me to say, doc? That if she'd listened to me just that one time, you'd have been the one driving that car instead of her so I'd be the one getting married?

His answer got to Jack's nerves and he approached him menacing, cornering against the window, with an enraged look. – Careful Sawyer. Don't think I won't beat the shit out of you just because this place is full of people. –he threatened to his face.

Sawyer looked down and moved away. – I see you still have that great sense of humor.

Jack shook his head. – Why do you hate me? –he asked annoyed.

Sawyer opened his eyes wider and raised his eyebrows. – Excuse me?

– Since day one. On the island, all I ever wanted was to keep everybody safe, including you. I even saved your life. Yet all you did was bugging me nonstop, and it seems you're determined to keep doing it, even to this day. Why's that Sawyer?

– Don't you guess it? –he replied with a sly look on his face.

Jack rubbed his hair. – It's not my fault she chose me. –then he thought for a second and smiled scathingly. – In fact, she didn't even choose me at all. I always knew the only reason she stayed with me was because you _vanished _after we got rescued. But I learnt to live with that. I even got to think she loved me for real. –he stated with irony. – But you had to come back and rub in my face I was wrong and she was just waiting for the first chance to run away with you. –he snapped, finally raising his voice. – At least you could've made sure she stayed alive so she wouldn't leave her children orphan! –he said finally losing his temper.

The blonde man stared at him fiercely. – So you really think she was running away with me, huh? I kind of saw that coming… –Jack threw a disconcerted look. – You really think she was leaving on the same car you gave her? Please…

– What are you talking about? –Jack asked with fear in his eyes.

– You really want to hear it?

He was done. – I want to know _exactly_ what happened that night, how long you've been seeing her, how many times you slept with her, everything! –he yelled, slamming Sawyer against the wall.

Sawyer pushed him back violently to make Jack let go of him. – She wasn't leaving you asshole. She was just helping me out.

Jack let go of him, stunned. – What the fuck are you saying?

Sawyer sighed slowly. – Well, turns out I have a daughter… Never saw myself as a daddy, but I saw the kid once and that was it. I got doomed. Her mommy didn't let me see her, so I sued her for custody. Spent all the damn money I had on lawyers, but it wasn't enough. I had no choice but to go back to business and conned again. But it got fucked up. My head had a price, if you know what I mean. –Jack was staring at him expectant, waiting for him to make a point. – Anyway, I needed money to save my ass, and I couldn't think of anyone else to turn to other than Kate. I knew her hubby was loaded and wouldn't miss a couple of bucks, right?

– Then what was she doing at the freeway that night? –Jack asked in frank confusion.

– I was on my way to Mexico, 'cause the police was chasing me too. We agreed on meeting a couple of miles from the viewing point. So she got there, gave me the money and quickly turned back. After a minute I heard the screech and the thud. I ran that way and saw the car in the cliff. I wanted to help her, but couldn't. That's when I called 911, but I couldn't stay. That place was getting full of police officers within the blink of an eye.

Jack felt his throat constrict. – If all you wanted was money, why didn't she tell me? Why did she hide it from me?

– I asked her the exact same question. She said things were "perfect" between you and she didn't want to ruin it by upsetting you with my troubles. She said it'd only take an hour. Guess that's why she's in such a hurry…

– Why she had your letter?

– I left it to her as a pledge. She was giving it to me when I paid her money back.

Jack took a deep breath and felt his head spin. – I don't believe you. –he affirmed in denial.

Sawyer rolled eyes again. – You think I'd come all the way from Mexico just to make this up and lighten you up? That's not my style doc.

– Coming clean like this isn't your style either.

– Well, Jackass, to be honest with you, I was planning on keeping you believing that she was running away with me. That way both of us would be miserable. But she keeps haunting me…

Jack's eyes opened wider. – What you mean?

– I keep dreaming of her begging me to tell you the truth. Hey! Don't look at me like I'm some kind of wacko here! It's true, but I know you don't believe in that shit. So, let's just say that, since I can't afford to pay your money yet, I thought this would do it meanwhile.

Jack couldn't believe his ears. All he had thought about Kate in the last 2 years was totally wrong. He couldn't utter a word, so Sawyer kept talking.

– And regarding your question before… I don't hate you doc, never did… You see… I always thought we're not that different. Hell, I could've been a surgeon too, but one day some son of a bitch decided to blow away that chance and ruined my family. If I'd only had my daddy to push me around a little… –Jack looked away and felt tears forming in his eyes, knowing what he meant. – You remind me of that Jack, every single day of my life. As for you… I know I remind you of what you could've turned into if _your_ daddy hadn't been around… That's why you saved my ass so many times Jack, that's why you feel sorry for me. We're just two sides of the same coin… This thing between you and me was never about Kate.

– It was about Kate too… –Jack affirmed feebly, not looking at him.

– You never got it, did you? –Sawyer asked. Jack threw him a questioning look, silent. – It was always you, doc. The only reason she had a fling with me was 'cause she was too damn scared of loving you. That's why I did us all a favor and disappeared, so she could stop using me as an excuse…

Jack rubbed his eyes. He just couldn't believe all that was happening. Then Brooke popped up in the studio without knocking. – Baby, we're ready for the toast… –but she went mute when she saw Jack wasn't alone. – I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company… –she said looking at him with an expectant look, waiting for him to introduce the stranger man.

Jack hesitated, disconcerted, so Sawyer made his move. – I'm James, and you must be the bride… –he said with his charming smirk, shaking Brooke's hand.

Brooke smiled and nodded. – I'm Brooke. –Then she stared at Sawyer, puzzled. – Uh, excuse me, do I know you? Your face's kind of familiar…

– I don't think so, miss. If we'd met, I'd sure remember. I never forget such a pretty face… –he stated smirking.

Brooke flushed. – Are you staying for the party?

– No… –Jack snapped from behind him.

Sawyer glanced at Jack with wry eyes. – I'm afraid I can't, I'm in a hurry. I just wanted to congratulate Jack, but now I'm leaving.

– Oh, what a shame… –Brooke said politely. Then she glanced at Jack, expectant.

– I'm coming. –he told her softly with a short smile and an assuring look.

– Okay… well, nice to meet you James. –she said shaking Sawyer's hand.

– My pleasure…

As he watched Brooke from head to toe walking away, he announced impishly: – Well, that's one hell of a fiancée doc…

Jack felt his blood boil and approached Sawyer, menacing. – If you ever talk to her or look at her like that again, I fucking kill you. ­–he threatened.

– Hell doc! Can't you even take a compliment? Don't worry, she ain't my type…

Jack shook his head in disbelief. – Yeah, right. –he said ironically.

– Hey, don't get me wrong. Sure she's smoking hot, but she's too East Coast … New York girls never fell for me. They're just too smart to buy my act… –he said, sticking his sunglasses on his face and preparing to leave. Jack was stunned with the comment, how the hell he knew Brooke was from New York? He sure had been snooping around. – Anyway doc, I'd love to stay and keep talking, but I got to run. –Then he looked down and took a deep breath. – I'm sorry about Kate… I've lived feeling guilty for her death, if that's of any consolation. It was a tragedy, never meant to happen… I'm glad you found someone again… –he said honestly, glancing at Jack once more.

Jack took a deep breath too, defeated, whilst Sawyer headed to the door. – Your daughter… –he said, making him stop. – Did you get her?

– Not yet…

Jack nodded. – Good luck with that…

– Yeah… Goodbye Jack…

Sawyer left the house and left Jack in a sea of confusion. As he returned to the party, he saw Brooke in the distance smiling brightly, talking with Claire, Marion and Charlie. Everybody was having a great time, but yet a dark feeling took over his heart. All of the sudden, he found the scene in front of him surreal and couldn't help but feel it was wrong.


	51. Chapter 51

Hi there! This is the last-but-one chapter. It's long and veeeery interesting... That Jackie... she's starting to scare me... Enjoy...

Foxy4ever, you always get me dear!

**Chapter 51**

– Dude! –Hurley said stunned, making Jack come back to Earth.

– What?! –Jack replied startled and somehow annoyed.

– I think I just saw Sawyer right here in the house! –Hurley stated shocked.

– You're out of your mind…

– Seriously dude, he was leaving through the main door!

– Or maybe you just had too many cocktails. –Jack affirmed fed up, trying to distract Hurley from that idea.

– Dude I'm not drunk! I mean it!

But Jack shook his head and rolled eyes, denying it. He left Hurley behind and walked to Brooke, who was waiting for him at the head of the table to make the toast.

As the party went on, he kept feeling like he was in the middle of the greatest cosmic joke. He felt overwhelmed. He wished Sawyer hadn't told him the truth about Kate. Soon after, the guests started leaving little by little.

Once the house was empty, Jack checked on the kids and made sure they were sleeping. Afterwards he went to his room, discouraged. He found a thrilled Brooke waiting for him on the bed, wearing a beautiful and sexy nightgown. The second he walked in, she threw herself in his arms and covered him in tiny kisses.

– Finally alone! –she whispered in his ear and then kissed his lips with passion, standing on her toes to reach him.

Jack broke the kiss and smiled shortly at her. – Yeah… –Then he sat on his side of the bed and took his shirt off. Brooke wasn't giving in and soon kneeled behind him and embraced his chest, sinking her face in his shoulder and kissing his back. He shivered, but didn't surrender to her seduction. – I'm exhausted… –he affirmed, hopping she'd get the message.

Brooke bit her lip, but understood. After all, it had been a speedy week and a long day. – Then lie down. –she suggested, moving aside and pulling out the blankets for him to get in.

He rested on his back and took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes. Brooke couldn't help but notice he was weird. – Baby, you okay? –she asked leaning on his chest to meet his eyes.

– Yeah, I'm just tired… –he lied.

– I'll just shut up and let you sleep, okay? –she affirmed kissing his lips softly.

– Thanks… –he said looking deeply at her and caressing her face.

Brooke rested her head on his chest facing his feet as she always did, feeling the warmth of his body and his heartbeat. He felt disconcerted, but smiled at the scene. He was playing with her hair when she spoke. – Jack… I love you… I'm the happiest woman on Earth… You're the best thing that's ever happened to me…

He closed his eyes and sighed, and felt a bitter irony in his heart. Four hours ago he would've said the exact same words to her without an ounce of hesitation, but right that minute he just couldn't, and that bothered him.

All he could do was rest her on the bed and kiss her, and then held her from the waist to meet her back with his chest. As she made herself comfortable in his arms, he could smell her sweet perfume all over her hair and feel her soft skin on his body. He sighed. – I love you too… –he finally pronounced, repeating in his head over and over again that the fact of knowing Kate was not leaving him wasn't going to change that, _couldn't_ change that…

Brooke was flying to New York the next day at night. She was staying home for 2 full weeks to plan the wedding, and then she was going back to L.A. 2 weeks before the ceremony to help the family move. Then they'd be all definitely moving to the Hamptons 2 days before the rehearsal.

At the evening, before leaving, Brooke was at the living room working on the guest list with Claire and Margo. Charlie and Hurley were with them too, helping with the last names of some of Jack's friends Brooke didn't know. Jack wasn't around. He had been avoiding her fiancée all day long and was at the garden with the kids, but Brooke had been too busy to notice.

– No, no, I think Stone is the last name of his wife, but he's Cowan, Barry Cowan, I'm certain about it. –Claire stated.

– Brooke dear, did Jack put his cousin Linda on the list? He always forgets her…

– Yeah, there's a Linda here, but she's not a Shephard, is she?

– No, she's from my side. –Margo replied.

– Can my brother Liam come to your wedding? –Charlie asked.

– Charlie! –Claire yelled in a disapproving tone.

– I'm just asking!

– Of course he can, Charlie, no problem. –Brooke said giggling. Then she stared at the piece of paper in front of her and frowned. Jack had forgotten a guest. – Uh, Claire, you know the last name of Jack's friend James?

Everybody went mute as they looked at each other stunned. – What? –asked Claire, disconcerted.

– Yeah, the one that came over yesterday to congratulate him, this southern, kind of good looking guy? –Brooke replied nonchalant.

– Dude… I knew it! –Hurley affirmed.

– What? –asked Brooke, puzzled by everybody's look.

– Hurley! Come with me, we need to… do this thing... –Charlie said pulling him from the arm. As both men walked away, Brooke could hear Hurley saying: _And you all told me I was crazy! Even Jack!_

– What's going on? –Brooke asked, clueless.

– No… Nothing, I… I don't know any friend of Jack with that name… –Claire assured, trying to conceal. – Do you, Margo?

– Um, I don't think so, uh… Anyway dear, if Jack didn't put him on the list, he's probably not invited. –Margo stated, trying to distract Brooke.

– You're right… I'll ask him anyway, just in case he forgot him, you know… –Brooke said.

– Of course dear. –Margo said with a smile, whilst giving Claire a "Take care of that" look.

Brooke checked on her watch. – I've got to go. I'll be back in two weeks… –she said holding Claire and then Margo.

– You're ready? –asked Jack, prepared to drive her to the airport.

– I am. Kids, I'm leaving…! –she announced raising her voice, so Jackie and Brett could hear her from the garden. Both kids ran to her and held her tight, covering her in kisses and asking her to stay a little more. Jack didn't know why, but he had to look away. Claire noticed.

A couple of hours later, Jack was back from the airport. He found Margo, Claire, Charlie and Hurley talking in a lower voice. He knew they were talking about him. When they noticed he was home, Claire walked to him. – Jack, can I talk to you for a sec?

He nodded and followed her to the studio, curious of what she had to say. – Is it true Jack? Was Sawyer here yesterday? –she asked concerned.

– Who said that?

– Brooke saw him with you! She just told me. And Hurley, he saw him too! What was he doing here Jack?

He sighed. – He needed some money…

– And why on Earth would he come to _you_ after what happened?! Oh my God! He threatened you, right? We have to call the police! –Claire said with fear in her eyes, frantic.

– Claire, don't… –he said with calm in his voice.

– What's going on Jack? –she asked determined.

– He came to… tell me something. –Claire frowned, waiting for him to talk. – Kate wasn't leaving that night… He told me…

– What?! –Claire asked jaw-dropped, not believing her ears.

– I can't believe it either. But it's true… she wasn't leaving me… us… she was just trying to help him out… –he said with sorrow in his eyes. Then he told Claire the whole story he had learnt from Sawyer.

– Oh… –Claire uttered after he finished his narration.

– Yeah…

– Well, that's definitely a nice wedding present, don't you think? –Claire said kind of relieved.

– You don't seem surprised at all.

– I am. I can't believe Sawyer told you just like that…

– You think he's lying?

– No, not at all. –she assured with no doubt.

He stared at her – Why?

– Because I never believed Kate was leaving you in the first place.

– Why? –he insisted.

– I knew her Jack, and she loved you. She wasn't carrying a bag, she left in the car you gave her… but, above all, I always knew she would've never left Jackie and Brett behind…

– Why you never told me that back then Claire? I could've used those words…

– Because I had no proof. And you wouldn't have listened anyway…

He nodded, defeated. – All this time I've lived believing she had let me down… But now that I know she didn't, it doesn't make me feel better…

– You're shocked, that's all… –she said rubbing his shoulder. – And I don't blame you… But now that you know it, you can finally let go that bad feeling you kept against her and be truly happy with Brooke… –she stated with a bright smile.

– Right… Uh, Claire… Brooke doesn't know about this, and I'd like to keep it that way…

– She doesn't know about Sawyer? –she asked in disbelief.

– She doesn't know _he_ was Sawyer and why he was here… I don't want to upset her, you know…

Claire frowned. She thought not telling Brooke was a bad idea, but yet she agreed. – Um… okay, fine, whatever you want…

As the days went by, Brooke kept going with the preparations. She felt an explosion of joy the first time she tried on her wedding gown. Her mom, the Julian ladies and Ilana almost wept when they saw her in it. She was the most beautiful bride ever because, above her beauty and the gown's perfection, her absolute happiness was what made her glow.

She kept calling Jack as usual, but with all her excitement she never noticed the flatness in his voice and his lack of enthusiasm whenever she spoke about the wedding. She knew he was quitting his job and had tons of things to do before leaving his position, let alone putting everything in boxes to move into the new house shortly. That's why she didn't make a big deal when he said he was busy and wanted to hang up quickly.

Jack was mad at himself. Mad because he couldn't enjoy the fact he was getting married within weeks. Mad because he was being harsh on Brooke and couldn't share the joy she felt. Mad because he was feeling that way. What the hell was wrong with him? He couldn't come to an answer, but soon he found himself thinking of Kate. All of the sudden everything reminded him of her.

He kept dwelling on what Sawyer said and zillion "What if…" scenarios came to his mind. What if he had felt her getting up the bed that night? What if he had heard him starting her SUV and stopped her? But one question burnt him the most: Why didn't she trust him enough to tell him what was going on? That thought tormented him. If he hadn't been always so uptight, she would've told him, and then she'd be alive.

He started feeling guilty again. He felt guilty of being so hard on her all that time and believing she was a betrayer. He felt guilt of moving on and loving Brooke. And, absurd as it was, now he felt guilty of her death. If she could've count on him and be open about Sawyer, he thought, she would've never needed to leave in the middle of the night without him knowing. He was going nuts and couldn't sleep at night.

The two first weeks passed in the blink of an eye. Brooke was back from New York with almost everything ready for the wedding. A couple of details more and everything would be done. As the days went by, she started resenting Jack's mood. She knew he was being weird, something was going on. At first she tried to cool down and believed she was imagining things because she was for sure under her own bride's insanity. She knew she was nervous and sensitive and knew he was probably feeling the same way.

That's why she tried to be understanding when he started working late during those days. He'd leave early in the morning and come back when everybody was asleep. That's why she didn't complain when she tried to help him with his moving boxes and he turned her down, saying he'd just put everything in them without sorting, 'cause he had no time. That's why she didn't find odd that he didn't want to discuss any wedding issues with her.

Yet, even though she was using all the patience she had, it hit her one afternoon at the dining room, when Jack came back home early from the hospital.

– Baby, just in time! I have here the samples of the appetizers.

– Uh-huh…

– I cooked them, so you can see what they look like and try them. I'm warning you, mine are _way_ better than the ones of the catering service, but you can have an idea and make up your mind… –she said smiling proud, guiding him to the dining room and making him seat at the head of the table after kissing him sweetly.

He sat and sighed deeply, rubbing his eyes. – You know, why don't you pick the one you like the most? I've done this twice after all, so, just have it your way…

Brooke froze. That was just too much to go unnoticed. – I know you've done this twice, but this is the first time you marry _me_! –she replied furious.

Her answer made him realize his comment had been both thoughtless and rude. – I'm sorry Brooke, I didn't mean…

– Yes you did. –she snapped visibly upset, cutting him off. Then she walked away, leaving him at the carefully set table.

Margo heard the scene from the kitchen. She went to her son. – Jack, what are you doing?

– What? –he asked frowning.

– Why are you mistreating your fiancée?

– I'm not mistreating her…

– Oh really? Then what was that about? "I've done this twice"? Are you out of your mind?

– Yeah, that was stupid to say, I didn't mean to… I'm just… stressed.

– Jack, you're not involved in this wedding at all. You've barely been around Brooke since you announced your engagement. What's going on with you?

– Nothing… –he assured, walking away from his mother.

But Margo was pissed. She just couldn't believe how obstinate his son could be. – Don't make something stupid Jack, I'm telling you. No matter what that man told you, no matter the crazy things you might be thinking right now, there's only one fact: Katherine is dead, and nothing will ever change that…

He felt his blood boil in enragement and faced Margo with a hatred look. – Tell me, mother, will you ever stop telling me what to do and trying to control me? –he asked with a scathing voice.

– If I could've controlled you just _once_ in my life, I would've prevented you from going through so many things Jack… Like this… –she stated furious with a burning gaze, and then turned her back on him to go to her room.

Brooke went out of the house to calm down and take some air. She didn't understand what was wrong with Jack, but it hurt her and scared her. It had to be his stress, she justified, they were going through a huge change in their lives, he was leaving his job, his house and even the state, that had to be tough. Yet she couldn't stifle her tears. Why he wasn't as happy as her? She was walking on the sidewalk when she found herself in front Claire's door. She decided to knock.

Claire opened and looked pleasantly surprised. – Brooke, hi! What are you doing here?

Brooke tried to hide her uneasiness. – Hey… I was… taking a walk and I decided to stop by, but if you're busy I can come back some other time…

– What are you talking about?! Come in!

Brooke went inside the house. – Your house is beautiful, I think I'd never been here before…

– Oh, blame on me. We're always at Jack's, it's like our Holy See… –Then Claire noticed Brooke was blue. – You want something to drink? It's hot out there, we can use a beer… –she suggested with a smug smile.

– Definitely…

Claire took two bottles and invited Brooke to the terrace. – So, you ready for the big day?

– Yeah… almost… –Brooke replied discouraged.

Claire knew she was upset and also imagined the reason why. Everybody had noticed Jack's mood. She remained silent, waiting for Brooke to speak.

– Uh, Claire… This days I was home… did anything happen to Jack?

– What makes you think that?

– Well… he's been… weird… call me crazy, but it seems like he couldn't stand my presence, and he's just told me to have the wedding my way 'cause "he's done it twice". –she complained with the voice broken. – He just doesn't care… –she said finally breaking into tears.

Claire opened her eyes wider in disbelief. This was worse than she thought. – Oh honey, no! Don't cry… there's nothing wrong with Jack… he's just… nervous, that's all. The moving, the wedding, you know… –she said rubbing gently her back, trying to comfort her.

– Right… but that's not true. These things don't make him nervous, you know that… –Brooke replied looking intently at Claire, like she wanted to read her mind. – Please Claire, I need to know. –she begged.

Claire sighed. She knew that could happen. It wasn't fair for Brooke. – Yeah… Uh… listen, Brooke… Remember that friend of Jack you asked me about?

– James?

– James, right… Uh… well, he's not his friend… you might have heard of him as Sawyer…

Brooke went numb. Of course, she thought, that's why she had found him familiar. She knew everything about him from the plane crash, but especially, she knew he was the man Kate was running away with and some sort of Jack's nemesis. That couldn't be good at all. – God! What does he want?! –she asked worried to death.

Claire looked away. – Um… I think you should ask Jack, I promised not to tell… –she stated, giving her a complicity look.

Brooke nodded. – Don't worry, I know how to ask him… Thanks Claire… –she said with a short smile, standing up and leaving the terrace.

Back in Jack's house, she learnt from Margo he had gone to the hospital again. She felt upset. She hoped he wouldn't be long. They had to talk. She tried to distract her mind from negative thoughts and looked for the kids to spend some time with them. They always made her smile.

Then she tried on Jackie the dress she was using for the wedding. She was going to be the flower girl and was delighted about it. But that day in particular, Jackie was totally worked up. When Brooke asked her what was going on, Jackie told her something that worked _her_ up even more.

Once the kids went to bed, she needed to clear up her mind. Jack wasn't home yet. She longed for the terrace at her parents' home. She could always think clearly when she was there. She ventured to the attic. It had a big window with a wide frame. It was kind of small and not very high, but still she could see in the horizon the lights of the city and be on her own.

When Jack arrived, he found the house dark and silent. He felt terrible for being so mean to Brooke. He looked for her in the bedroom, but she wasn't there. He wandered the house and couldn't find her anywhere. He always felt uneasy when he didn't know where she was.

He went upstairs again and when he walked the corridor to his room, he felt a draft coming from the attic. He rushed there and found Brooke sitting on her legs at the window frame, engrossed in her thoughts.

– What are you doing here? –he asked kind of amused, gripping her shoulders and kissing her head shortly. He was happy to see her after all.

– I needed a high view… How was your day, everything okay at the hospital?

He joined her and sat beside her. – Yeah, everything's fine… I just had to explain some details to the new Chief of Surgery. I'm officially done now…

– Who did they appoint in the end?

– Derek…

– Wow… I'm so glad for him… I thought they'd choose Patrick though…

– Patrick doesn't want to be enslaved to the hospital yet. He wants to keep writing and doing his lectures...

– Right…

– The kids, they were good to you?

– Sure, they always are… Jackie's been a little cranky though…

– Why?

– She says she can't see the bride… –she affirmed with sorrow in her voice.

He looked in her eyes, puzzled. – What?

– In her dreams… she says she's seen herself as the flower girl, but she can't see my face…

He shook his head in confusion. – I'm sorry, what are we talking about here?

Brooke had to look away to hide the tears forming in her eyes. She took a deep breath and went on. – Your daughter's very special Jack. She has a gift. So far, I'm certain she has premonitions, but maybe there's more…

He was reluctant to admit it, but knew it was true. – Yeah… I know… you want to… talk about it?

She cut to the chase. – Your friend, James… I've remembered where I know him from…

Jack looked away, uneasy… – Uh-huh…

– He's Sawyer… –He rubbed his eyes after he heard that. Sometimes he hated that Brooke was so damn smart. – What was he doing here Jack? –she asked determined.

– Nothing… he just borrowed some money, that's all…

Brooke nodded and threw a wry smile. – I can't believe we're going through this again… –she stated.

– Through what? –he asked abashed.

– You're keeping me out and lying to me again…

He sighed, defeated. She was right and that was not good. He looked at her and remembered he was sitting in front of the best friend he'd ever had. Why was he hiding anything from her? He decided to let it out. – That night, when I told you everything about me, I never asked you… –She remained silent waiting for the question. – You think Kate was a bad person?

Brooke stiffened. Her worst fear was appearing right before her eyes. This was about Kate. – I think she made a huge mistake… more than one, actually… but no, I don't think she was a bad person… –she looked at him with fear in her eyes. – Why you ask me that baby?

– Sawyer… he came here to tell me Kate wasn't leaving me that night… She was just lending him some money. Everything was an accident… –he affirmed.

Brooke swallowed, disconcerted. She understood it was a shocking news, but she didn't see yet what it had to do with them and their wedding. Her thoughts were cut off by Jack. – What do you think?

– Well, uh, wow… –she hesitated. – Well, I think it's kind of a relief, isn't it? You won't be carrying that weight anymore…

– I was so hard on her Brooke… that's why she couldn't trust me… If I hadn't been so tough she might be alive and…

– What are you talking about? You think it's your fault that she died? –she asked almost frantic, not believing what he'd said.

– No, it's just… All these years I believed she had never really loved me… I even hated her for what she'd done. But now… it was all a misunderstanding…

Brooke started feeling very anxious with his words. She didn't know how to handle that. – Honey, I don't mean to sound brutal but… what difference does it make? She's gone…

– It makes a whole difference! You just don't get it Brooke! –he snapped annoyed. He didn't believe she was being so insensitive.

She couldn't take it anymore. His confusion made her heart feel pierced. – I thought you'd fallen in love with me for who I am, not only because you believed Kate was a bad person! –she yelled in tears, and then rushed downstairs leaving him behind.

After a while he returned to the bedroom, but Brooke wasn't there. She had stayed in the guestroom. He walked in and found her asleep, the pillow still wet for her endless tears. He sat on the bed beside her, but didn't dare to touch her. He didn't want to wake her up.

As he watched her sleep, he realized he loved her so much it hurt. He hated the fact of being so far away from her right now. But he also noticed his feelings for Kate had changed. He didn't hate her anymore, but he didn't know what he felt for her either. He felt broken and confused.

He wished Sawyer hadn't told him anything about that night. Now he felt he owed Kate. She wasn't a betrayer. _I'm the betrayer_, he concluded, while caressing gently Brooke's hair, the hair he loved so much.

The next day was Monday. It was almost noon and Jack hadn't seen Brooke for a minute. Now she was avoiding him. The night before she had been thinking about the situation, about Jack's behavior and what he had told her about Kate. She felt torn, but she had made a decision.

She had to face her worst fear. She left the guestroom and looked for him. Margo was busy with the boxes, moving such a huge house was being hell. The kids were helping her. Brooke went to the attic. She had the feeling she'd find Jack in there. Margo watched her going up and rubbed her temple in huge concern.

When Brooke got to the attic, she found Jack sitting on the floor, surrounded by many open boxes. He was looking with a sweet smile at some pictures. Brooke felt her world crash into dust. They were pictures of Kate. – Hey… –she said almost in a whisper.

He felt overdraft. – Honey… where have you been the whole day? –he asked with a guilty look.

– Just… around… –she said with the saddest gaze she had, staring at the picture in Jack's hand.

– I was… sorting these boxes… This place's a mess… –he assured looking away and putting the pictures back in a box.

– Jack… I need to talk to you…

Fearing the worst, he immediately stood up from the floor and spoke. – Brooke, I'm so sorry about last night… I wasn't myself… I know I haven't been here for you, but you have nothing to worry about, everything's fine… –he stated.

But Brooke looked down, tears forming in her eyes. – Jack, I know that look on your face… It's the same you had when we first started dating and you were not sure about your feelings for me…

– What are you talking about? –he asked with fear in his gaze.

– You're having second thoughts…

– I'm not! –he affirmed desperate, like trying to convince himself.

– Jack… I've never wanted to live under Kate's shadow, and I'm not starting now… –she said breaking into tears, whilst she took her engagement ring off and put it in his palm, closing his fist around it.

– Are you breaking up with me? –he asked frantic, not believing it.

– No Jack, I'm not. I love you too much to even dare to break up with you. All I'm doing is giving back to you the promise you made me…

– Brooke, please don't do this…

But she placed her hand on his lips to shut him up. – I'm going back home tonight and I want you to keep this ring so you can make up your mind… That way… –she said with a broken voice– when you come looking for me, you'll put it back on my finger and I'll be sure that you love me unconditionally, no matter what…

– But I love you and you know it!

– It's four days for our rehearsal Jack… I'll be waiting for you… Just do me a favor… Don't marry me if you still love her…–she pleaded. Then she threw herself in his arms and held him tight. Soon after she looked in his eyes and kissed him passionately afterwards, as if it was the last time she kissed him. He could taste her salty tears and cried too.

– You need to know something… Kate was not a bad person, but she was a fool. It's not your fault she wasn't honest with you. If it had been me, I would've told you what I was doing that night without a doubt, 'cause I'm sure you would've supported me. That was her mistake Jack, she didn't know you enough… –she affirmed determined cupping his face. Then she walked away.

– Brooke! –he shouted, but he had no will to stop her.

At night, Hurley offered to drive Brooke to the airport. Charlie joined them. Margo and Claire watched them leaving with a dark feeling in their hearts. Jack had been in his studio the whole day, and all he heard since he'd left the attic was the engine of Hurley's Hummer getting away. What saddened him the most was knowing Brooke was right. He was doubting.

– Daddy? –Jackie asked, appearing in front of his armchair.

– Hey… why you're still awake? Come on, I'll tuck you in…

– It's okay daddy, I just want to kiss you goodnight.

He held his daughter tight, sitting him on his lap, and sighed deeply when he felt her close to him. – Dad… can I ask you something?

– Sure…

Jackie looked at him intently. – If you could go back in time, would you make something different?

He frowned, disconcerted. – Like what?

– I don't know, anything…

– There's no use in thinking about that Jackie, you can't change the past. What's done is done…

– Yeah, but if you could?

He thought for a moment. – Uh, yeah, I guess I'd make some things different…

Then he noticed and unreadable look on Jackie's face. – I just asked Brooke the same question before she left…

– Oh yeah?

– She said she would only change one thing…

He felt curious. – What?

– She said she'd stop mommy from leaving the house the night she died… She said you'd be happier that way…

He froze. That statement was sweet and sour at the same time. He didn't know what to say. – What about you daddy? Would you stop her too? –Jackie continued.

– Of course… –he replied immediately, without an ounce of hesitation.

Jackie frowned disconcerted. – But that way you would've never met Brooke.

– Yeah… maybe…

– So you'd give her up just like that? –she asked in disbelief.

– No, not just like that… I mean… –listening to himself saying that to his daughter only made him feel worse. That's when he realized why Brooke was so upset. – This is not fair Jackie, all these you're asking me…

Then Jackie kneeled on his lap and cupped his face, crossing him with her sight. – You should think about it dad. Because sometimes, wishes can come true… –then she let him go and left the studio, leaving him with that question on his mind.


	52. Chapter 52

Hello people! Well, here we are, this story has come to an end :(

I really want to thank all of you who remained reading this fic. I would really appreciate that this time you gave me a review to let me know if you liked it or hated it, anything! I know this is not a Jate or Skate fic as many of you may like, but I really believe that writers are supposed to be original, and that's what I tried with this story. There's a lot of great Jate fics out there, so I just tried to make something different. So, if you like this, please recommend it and encourage others to read it.

Anyway, in a very Lost-ish style, I split this finale-chapter in 2 parts :p Here you have the first one, enjoy...

Foxy4ever dear, you are NOT a bad Jater, you just get it baby! ;) Thanks for everything...

**Chapter 52, part I**

Jack felt he was choking, and that made him awake. He got up hit the upper bunk bed. He rubbed his head, disoriented. He looked around. What was he doing in the on-call room? He frowned. Right, now he remembered. He had received a call from the hospital soon after 2:00 AM. Derek needed help on an emergency operation. That's why he was scrubbed. After the surgery he decided to catch some sleep before going home, 'cause otherwise he would fall asleep in the car. He still felt drowsy and exhausted. His feet called his attention. Those sneakers… he would've sworn he had thrown them away. He shook his head and stood up, leaving the room.

It was almost dawn when he went to the locker room to change. He took a shower and got dressed. When he was ready to leave, he found Derek sitting on one of the benches. He was devastated. He was sobbing loud, and the echo resounded in Jack's ears.

– Derek, what's going on? –he asked afflicted by Derek's state.

– I couldn't save her Jack… I couldn't… –he replied in tears.

Jack knew he must be referring to the patient Derek was operating on soon after he walked into the ER. Derek was trying to save a female covered in blood from head to toe. Her blood pressure was dropping severely when Jack helped him stabilize her. Soon after, Andrea entered the ER and announced that another patient had just been admitted with a massive concussion and a broken back. Both doctors agreed Derek would stay with the girl, and Jack would take care of the other patient.

– Derek, you know these things happen, you did your best… –Jack assured, trying to comfort him.

– It wasn't enough… I tried so hard Jack, but I just lost her… She was only 26 years old… And I couldn't tell him…

Jack frowned, disconcerted. – Tell who?

Derek raised his gaze and met Jack's eyes. – She was Patrick's fiancée.

– What? –he asked more confused and jaw-dropped. When did Patrick have gotten engaged? Oh boy, was he talking about Marion? – What happened to Marion? –he asked back, frantic.

– She had to tell him. I wasn't able… I didn't have the guts.

Jack didn't understand a damn. Was Derek talking insanity due to post traumatic stress? What the hell was going on? – Listen, I'll go check on Patrick. You're going to be okay?

– Tell him I'm so sorry… –Derek pleaded, sobbing again.

As Jack wandered the hallways looking for Patrick, he started feeling dazed. There was something in the air. It was like he was in another place, but yet he was at the same old hospital he had always worked at. When he walked in front of the Intensive Care Unit, he ran into Marion, who was evidently upset and jittery.

– Jack, now it's not a good time… –she told him.

– What?

– We had to sedate Patrick. He's a total mess. If he sees you, he's going to jump you. We should better wait till the medication takes effect. But right know you can't walk in… –she warned.

– What the hell are you talking about? Why would he want to jump me? –he asked in disbelief.

– He says you were the one supposed to work on her… –Marion said with teary eyes.

– But I didn't know he knew her… I didn't even know he was engaged…

– He's not himself right now, Jack, try to understand. –Marion stated, not noticing he had just said he didn't know about Patrick's engagement.

He nodded in agreement, but still he didn't know what was happening. He went to Andrea and asked her for the patient's report, but she didn't have it. Yet she told her that the minute he left the ER, the girl's blood pressure dropped again. She had wrecked her car bad and was deeply injured when she was admitted. Her ribs were broken, and one of them had perforated her left lung. Her thoracic cage was totally collapsed, therefore most of her vital organs were damaged. Then an internal bleeding started, and that made her heart finally give up.

Andrea also told him Patrick's shift was over and Derek's was starting when the patient came in. Soon after, Patrick came back from the Emergency Zone frantic, covered in blood, trying to stop the bleeding of the girl on the cot, shouting himself hoarse because he knew her. That's why he wasn't allowed in the ER. He was removed from the Intensive Care Unit and Derek was left to handle the situation. Then Patrick went to Andrea and begged her to call Jack. _He's the only one who can save her_, he told her hysterical.

When Patrick learnt Jack was finally in the ER, he felt a little relieved. He agreed on leaving the Unit and wait at the doctor's lounge. Varya and Marion were waiting with him. Then Marion had to join Derek in the ER, 'cause Jack had to take care of the other patient that had been admitted.

It was 4 minutes after 4:00 AM when Derek and Marion had no choice but to call the patient dead. When they left the ER, Marion told Derek that girl was Patrick's fiancée between tears. That's when Derek collapsed.

The whole scene, Andrea stated with teary eyes, had been heartbreaking. Then Marion went to the lounge. Patrick's screams could be heard all over the hospital. He blamed Derek and Marion and Jack. _Why the fuck did he left the table? Oh God, please! No!,_ were some of the things he yelled.

– This is so sad, Dr. Shephard… she was such a nice girl… –Andrea affirmed with a broken voice.

Jack was stunned. Even Andrea knew this girl. Who the hell she was? Why everybody knew about her but him? He had definitely been away from his friends and their lives, he thought.

But now it was time to see Patrick. He had to let him know that he wasn't aware of that girl being his fiancée, and that Derek had done everything humanly possible to save her, but she was totally broken from the crash.

He found him still in the lounge, totally numb, paralyzed. He was sitting on the floor, his back against the couch, his head and arms between his legs. He was wearing jeans and a white shirt still covered in blood. He looked extremely young, more than usual. Jack walked in, silent, and sat beside him, taking a deep breath. He didn't know what to say.

– It's nobody's fault. I know it… –Patrick finally pronounced, breaking the silence. – But I wished you had worked on her instead of the other patient… That way I'd be sure there was nothing left to do…

– Patrick, Derek did his best. Of course there was nothing left to do, I'm so sorry… We all are very sorry… –he assured honestly.

– We were having dinner at our new house tonight… She was so excited about moving to Malibu… But she didn't know the roads, that's why she ended on the freeway… God Jack, what am I going to tell her family? –Patrick sobbed.

Jack went mute. That was sad. He wanted to ask him about this sudden girlfriend, but he thought that was not the right moment. The best he could do was sitting there in silence, giving Patrick his sympathy and company.

About half hour went by, but it felt like a decade for Jack. He remembered when Kate died and how he felt back then. It was the worst and most devastating sensation ever, and he wished Patrick didn't have to go through it, but at the same time he was grateful he had survived that tragedy and moved on. Patrick would see the light again for sure, he thought.

– You make my worst day brighter just by looking at me… –Patrick uttered almost in a whisper, his gaze lost.

Jack stared at Patrick. – What? What did you just say?

– That's what she answered every time I asked her why she loved me…

A shiver ran through Jack's spine. He immediately stood up and rushed to the ER, but the patient had already been removed. An asphyxiating feeling of fear invaded his body. One… two… three… four… five… He hit the Nurses' Station.

– Where is she? –he yelled at Andrea.

– Where's who? –she asked, scared by Jack's look.

– The patient!

– She… she was moved to the morgue…

He felt his heartbeat speed to the point of pain. He crashed into the morgue slamming the doors in front of him. He found two men around the table, probably from the funerary services. One of them stopped him from approaching, placing one hand on his chest. – Excuse me sir, are you family?

– I want to see her…

– I'm sorry, but only family, the police or doctors can see the body.

– Get the fuck away from me! –he said, pushing the man violently. The other man stepped back from the table, afraid of him.

Once he could approach, he removed the sheet to reveal the face behind it. His hands were shaking. His legs literally crumbled. – God no! What the hell is this?! This is not happening! –he took her in his arms and held her against his chest. She was still wearing the engagement ring, and they had put on her the red dress. She looked ethereal. – Brooke! What kind of sick joke is this?! –he snapped to one of the men.

– Call security! –the man demanded to his partner.

– Sir, you can't touch this body! –the other one yelled.

He had to be dreaming. He gently placed her on the table again and looked around in frantic panic, tears rolling over his cheeks, like waiting to wake up of that outrageous nightmare. But nothing happened. He was still there, she was still dead.

He left the morgue running. When he crashed into the lounge, Marion and Varya were there with Patrick, who was now standing up. Jack slammed him against the wall. – What the fuck is happening here?! Why you say Brooke is _your_ fiancée? She is _my_ fiancée! I gave her that ring, and the dress!

– Jesus Christ, Jack! Are you drunk? –Marion asked horrified. Both she and Varya were trying to make him let go of Patrick, but they couldn't.

– You think this is fucking funny?! –Patrick asked enraged.

– What did you do to her?! We're getting married on Saturday!

– For God's sake Jack! What the hell are you doing?! –Varya cried.

Then Derek came fro behind him and held his arms around his back, immobilizing him. Jack tried to unleash, but he couldn't. Now everybody was at the lounge, looking at him as he was a freaking lunatic. Still being hold by Derek, he noticed everybody's stares. Then he felt Patrick's cold fist against his face. – Are you fucking stoned you son of a bitch?! How dare you to speak that shit?! –Patrick shouted to his face, jolting him and trying to hit him again, whilst Marion and Varya tried to stop him.

– Patrick, please! –Marion begged.

– I'm sure your wife would _love_ to hear you saying that crap now! –Patrick snapped.

Jack started breathing harder. When he closed his eyes and ran his palm through his face, he felt it. He looked at his hand. He was wearing his wedding ring. He began shaking. – This is not happening! –he claimed, releasing himself from Derek's arms and leaving the lounge before the stunned eyes of the people around. – Jack! –was the last thing he heard behind him, in Marion's voice.

He rushed to the parking lot, but he couldn't find his car. The keys inside his pocket were not his. He pressed the alarm control and followed the beep. He couldn't believe it. Kate's SUV was there. _God, please, wake up!_

– Come on, wake up, wake up… –he kept repeating to himself. That couldn't be happening. He sure was dreaming a very vivid, awful nightmare. The stress, the fight with Brooke, everything was paying off and altering his mind.

Even the road seemed different. He headed home. When he arrived, the place was static. Where were all the moving boxes? He rushed to his mother's room. – Mom?! Mom! –But there wasn't such room in the house, just a TV studio.

Then he walked into Brett's room and found his two year-old son sleeping placidly in his cradle. He laughed insanely. He was back in time, as if that was even possible. If he wasn't dreaming, he was drunk without a doubt. _I sure got wasted after Brooke left_, he thought.

– Jack! Where have you been?!

He turned around and froze when he saw Kate in front of him. – What are you doing here?

– I thought he had killed you! You were nowhere to be found! Are you okay? –she asked in panic, trying to touch him.

– What are you doing here?! –he asked back fiercely, making her get away and lean against Brett's door.

Kate looked at him astonished. – Why you ask me that? I live here! This is our home!

He covered his eyes and pleaded. – Stop haunting me!

– Baby, what happened to you?! –Kate asked desperate.

– Why you call me _baby_?! You never call me that, you are not like that! –he snapped furious. His shouts made Brett awake. Now he was crying. Kate rushed to the cradle to hold him.

– Where's Jackie?! –he said as he headed to his daughter's room.

When he walked in, she was already awake and sitting on her legs in the bed, like waiting for him. – What did you do? –he asked the girl, feeling afraid of her. But her eyes revealed doubt and fear as well. She had no idea what her dad was talking about. She remained silent, not daring to talk.

– What the hell is wrong with you? –an upset Kate asked from behind him. – Leave her alone! –she demanded.

He left the room before the innocent and hesitant eyes of his little girl. – Everything's okay sweetie, daddy's just a little tired… –Kate whispered in Jackie's ears, kissing her forehead and tucking her.

Then she followed Jack, who was now in their bedroom, walking around like a caged lion. He took the alarm clock from the nigh stand and checked the date. He rubbed his hair and took a deep breath. It couldn't be. It marked the day Kate died. – Jack please talk to me, what happened?! –Kate asked crying, frantic. Now she was really scared of his erratic behavior.

– I just… need some sleep… I really want to sleep now… –he stated, still believing he was in the middle of an endless and grotesque nightmare, which would go away once he awoke and the sun shined in the sky.


	53. Chapter 53

Hello, hello! I'm sorry I took two weeks to upload this chap., but I just wanted it to be perfect, since it's the last one. This is long, but I guess that's fine since it's the grand finale ;)

So, is Kate alive? Brooke really died? What the hell is going on here??

I want to thank you all again for reading, and it'd be great if you let me know if you liked it or hated it, or whatever you want to say. Foxy4ever dear, thanks for being my number one reader, and let me know your impressions please.

I'll let you guys know when I start a new story, maybe I'll try some Jate, who knows?

Thanks again. Farewell... enjoy!

**Chapter 52, part II**

– I have it…

– Damn it Freckles, if you're going to call me this early and wake me up, at least say good morning…

– Shut up! It's already noon. Now, this is what we're going to do…

– Oh come on! Why don't you just wire me the damn money?!

– Wire the money?! Are you out of your mind?! What if they catch you?! You want to get me involved?!

– Alright! What's your plan then?

– You're heading to Mexico, right? So, I'll see you on the freeway early in the morning. You wait for me at the fourth viewing point, I'll pull over for a minute so you can take the bag with the money and then I'll leave.

– Are you crazy?! What if they're following me? Don't you say you don't want to get involved? Besides, the road's dangerous, especially in the dark…

– You have a better idea?

– Well yeah! Why don't you just tell your hubby to bring me the money? He'll figure something out…

Kate laughed wryly. – Right, I'm sure he'll be dying to help you out…

– He won't do it for me, he'll do it for you, as always…

– I don't think so…

Sawyer threw a smug smile from the other side of the line. – Or maybe you just want to see me…

Kate's face went blank. – You want the money or not? 'Cause you're being difficult, really…

– Of course I want it…

– Then do what I say…

– Fine!

– Fine, I'll see you there at 1:30…

– Kate, wait!

– What?!

– I really think you should tell the doc…

– Man, I don't believe you!

– I mean it! What if he finds out? What if one of the kiddies wakes up in the middle of the night asking for their mommy? How you're going to explain you're not there? You can get into trouble…

– He won't find out… He's having surgery today, he'll be very tired… and it's a one hour thing, tops…

– Why don't you want to tell him? Thought you weren't hiding things from him anymore… –Sawyer said with sarcasm in his voice.

Kate went mute for a moment. – Things are perfect between us right now… I just don't want to upset him with your crap… But, if you're so worried about honesty or anything, why don't you call him and borrow the money from him? –she challenged.

Sawyer sighed and rolled eyes. – Fine, I'll see you there…

Kate hung up and left the telephone booth right when Claire came out from the market. She had forgotten something.

– Okay, now I'm done. –she said smiling. – Were you using that phone? –Claire asked puzzled.

– Oh yeah, I just wanted to wish Jack good luck on the surgery, but I couldn't reach him. –Claire stared at her with a questioning look. – My cell ran out of battery. –Kate completed.

– Oh! You can use mine if you want to try again…

– I asked his secretary to page him, he'll get the message… –she said with a smile.

– Okay, let's get the kids then…

After Kate and Claire picked up the kids at school, they drove home.

– You sure don't want to stay for meal? –Kate asked Claire from her front door.

– I can't, Charlie will be here anytime soon and I have tons of things to do…

– Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then…

– I'll see you tomorrow…

Later on she cooked meal for the kids and helped Jackie with her homework, whilst Brett played with his legos. The day ran out fast, and soon it was time to put them to bed. She made them brush their teeth after feeding them dinner and putting them in their pajamas.

Then she lulled Brett to sleep and placed him gently in his cradle, after kissing sweetly his forehead. Right afterwards she went to her daughter's room.

– Daddy's working late tonight sweetie, so, you want me to read Snow White for you?

Jackie smiled content. – No… I want you to read me the Sleeping Beauty…

– Okay…

Jackie soon fell asleep, lulled by her mother's voice. After that she went to the laundry room and took a black bag with the money she was hiding inside the washing machine. Then she placed it in her SUV.

Afterwards she went to her room and watched some TV, waiting for Jack. She hoped he wouldn't be long. She was nervous, she wanted to be done with Sawyer's thing at last and leave it behind. At 11:00 O'clock, she was almost asleep when she heard Jack's car in the driveway. She went downstairs.

– Hey… –she said from the door, giving him a long tight hug.

– Hey… –he said back, kissing her softly.

– How did it go?

– Good. He'll live. –Jack assured content.

– That's great… You want to… eat something?

Jack shook his head, his eyes almost closing. – I just want to go to bed… –he said, taking her hand and leading her upstairs.

Once at their bedroom, he took off his jacket, then his pants and shirt. He laid on the bed, exhausted.

– I missed you… –Kate whispered in his ear, then started tracing little kisses all over his neck.

– I missed you too… –he replied, not moving a finger.

But she didn't give in. She rolled on him and kissed his lips with passion. He broke the kiss. – My eyes are closing… –he whispered, meaning he was just too tired to make love to her.

– I'll do all the job, I promise. –she said with an impish smile, whilst getting rid of his boxers.

He gave her and indulging smile and gently ran his fingers through her face. – Alright then…

He let Kate seduce him and soon he got into the game. She took off her nightgown and made wild love to him. After they both finished, Jack was panting, as well as her. He laid on his back again and fell asleep almost immediately. She kissed his lips softly and watched him sleep, a satisfying smile on her face. It was fifteen minutes after midnight. It was almost time to go meet Sawyer. She had to drive far from home, so she made sure Jack was really asleep before leaving the bed.

Once he began snoring, she knew he was sleeping deeply. She carefully left the bed and went to the bathroom. She put on the sweatpants and sweatshirt she had hidden beneath the towels and pulled her hair up in a pony tail. Then she put on her sneakers. She left the bathroom tiptoeing. She glanced at Jack and couldn't resist. She approached holding her breath and gave him a sweet little kiss on the lips.

Before going downstairs, she stopped and walked into Brett's room. She gently caressed his hair and kissed his cheek. Then she went to Jackie's room. She kissed her daughter's forehead and placed her stuffed bunny under her arm. When she walked out, Jack was waiting for her.

– You're not going anywhere… –he affirmed with a burning gaze and a low steady voice. He didn't want to wake up the kids.

She froze. _Damn it, I shouldn't have kissed him,_ she thought. She tried to conceal. – Honey, going where? I'm just checking on the kids… –she assured, nervous.

He looked down and stared at her feet with the sneakers on. – I don't care if I have to tie you up and lock you in the closet, but you're not leaving this house…

– What are you talking about? Why would I want to leave? –she asked raising an eyebrow, as if he was talking crazy.

– I know about Sawyer. –he affirmed sternly. He didn't know how, but he just knew.

Kate paralyzed. – What?

– Don't lie to me Kate, I know you're meeting him at the freeway, and you're going to give him your spending money…

– Jack, no, I… –she mumbled, stunned.

– I don't care what you say, you're not going. I'm bringing him the money, and listen to me Kate: don't follow me. If you do, if you come after me, you'll regret it, I know you will. –he affirmed determined.

– No, Jack, please don't go, forget it, you don't have to do it.

But he turned his back and walked away from her. She followed him to the bedroom and watched him getting dressed with his jeans and a T-shirt. – Jack please, I'm sorry… it's not what you think… –But he wasn't listening. – I beg of you, don't leave me! Don't go! –she said frantic. She feared the worst, she thought he'd get into a fight with Sawyer and it would be all her fault.

– We'll talk when I get back. –he snapped to her face. Then he rushed downstairs and went to the garage. He took her SUV, and as he expected, the bag with the money was already there.

The minute she heard the engine getting away, she rushed downstairs too. She looked for his car keys, but they were nowhere. She went to the garage and tried to get in his car, but it was locked. He had taken his keys too, so she couldn't follow him.

Meanwhile, Brooke Julian, Patrick's fiancée, was finishing dinner with her long time friend Marty, who now owned a restaurant in L.A.

– Baby, I can drive to the house, what's the big deal? –she told Patrick through the cell phone.

– Why don't you just wait for me there? I can pick you up, my shift's almost over… –Patrick replied, trying to convince her.

– I can't stay here any longer, the place's closing in about an hour. Besides, I rented a car remember? I'll have to drive even if you meet me here…

– Then come and wait for me…

– God no! I can't stand hospitals. Don't worry baby, I'll see you at the house, okay?

– Fine, but you call me the minute you get there okay?

– Promise…

– Okay, I've got to go, love you…

– Love you too baby…

When she hung up, Marty had already ordered for her a nice dessert, which she ate placidly, still telling her friend everything about her upcoming wedding and the new beautiful house Patrick had gotten for them in Malibu. She was thrilled and couldn't wait to live there.

Soon after she left the restaurant and asked the valet for the car she had rented. She headed to her home-to-be. Though she had been there with Patrick a couple of times, she wasn't familiar with the road yet, and the streets looked different at night.

After some time she was lost. She had missed her exit and the GPS in the car wasn't being very helpful. She had a map, but couldn't quite check it out since she was driving. – Fuck… I don't know where I am…

She called Patrick, but his cell phone was off. He sure was in the OR or something. – Sweetie, you were right, I'm lost, please call me… –she said to the voicemail.

It was 16 minutes after 1:00 am and she still had no idea where she was. She started feeling uneasy. Then she saw in the distance a viewpoint, and a man was standing there outside a car. She bit her lip, but it was her best chance. She decided to pull over and ask for directions.

– Hi, excuse me, I'm trying to get to Malibu but…

But the southern man standing beside her car rolled eyes and cut her off. – Do I look like a damn tourist guide? –he snapped.

Brooke's jaw dropped. _And they say we New Yorkers are rude_… – Okay then, thanks anyway… –she said indignant.

But Sawyer noticed she was a lost pretty girl and couldn't fight his nature. – Wait! I'm sorry, I'm just… stressed, no offense. –He stated, rising his hands. – Uh… well, you're heading to Mexico now…

– No way!

– Yeah, you're pretty far from Malibu. So, you have to turn back, get out of this freeway in the next exit you see and then follow the road signs that read "Malibu". –he indicated with a smile.

Brooke laughed shortly at his sarcasm. – That's actually a great idea, okay, thank you very much…

– Yeah…

As he saw the hot chick drive away, he glanced at his watch. It was 1:30 sharp, but Kate wasn't there yet. He hoped she hadn't changed her mind.

About 15 minutes later, Brooke was ready to take the exit and leave the freeway. For a second she took her eyes off the road to glance at the mirror and change lanes. When she looked ahead again, she was surprised by a dog in the middle of the road. Trying not to hit it, she darted the wheel abruptly and lost control of the car. She crashed against the road fence and fell in a cliff.

Jack was already late to meet Sawyer when he had to take a detour, since the entrance to the freeway was blocked. It seemed there had been an accident. He cursed in his thoughts and kept going. When he got to the viewing point, he pulled over and waited inside the SUV, unlocking the doors.

– Damn it Freckles! What took you so long? –Sawyer snapped annoyed, opening the door abruptly. He swallowed when he saw Jack inside.

– Get in the car. –Jack ordered.

– And why would I do that?

Jack threw a challenging look. – You want the money?

– Fine…

He got in the car and remained silent, not looking at Jack. Then he spoke. – So, she told you…

Jack smiled wryly, but he let Sawyer believe it. – Listen, Sawyer, 'cause I'm saying this once. Take the damn money and disappear. I don't want to see your face ever again in my life. Stay away from my family and me.

– Or what? –Sawyer dared to ask.

– Or else…

– Are you threatening me?

– Absolutely. You don't want me to tell the police to track this money, do you?

Sawyer looked away. – Son of a bitch… Anyway, I told your wife I'll pay you back as soon as I get back on track…

– Don't bother. Just get a life Sawyer, and leave us alone, for good.

– Well thanks, it was good to see you too doc… –he replied, taking the bag with the money and leaving the SUV, slamming the door behind him. He quickly got in his car and drove away.

Now it was time to have a word with Kate. He felt mad. He was thinking about what he was going to tell her when his cell phone rang. It was Andrea. _Doctor Shephard, we have a situation here and Dr. Mills requires your assistance…_

– Fine, I'm coming…

He hung up and headed to the hospital. Before he got to the exit on the freeway, he saw the wreckage of a sports car and a lot of patrols and police lines. Somebody had an ugly accident. He had the feeling it had something to do with Andrea's call. He sped up to get to St. Sebastian faster…

When he finally opened his eyes, he got up in panic and looked around. Yes, he was at his bedroom. Yes, nobody was sleeping beside him. _God, what an awful nightmare… Everything's fine… Everything's fine…_ He left the bed and entered the bathroom. He bent over the sink and wetted his face. He took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes, feeling the cold water on his skin. When he straightened up he shouted frightened. He could see Kate in the mirror standing behind him.

– Jack… –she said concerned.

He rubbed his face in despair. – What the hell is wrong with me?! –he mumbled.

– Your friend Marion called… she told me about Patrick's girlfriend… I'm so sorry…

Jack felt an unbearable need to cry. – Where's Jackie?

Kate didn't understand. It seemed like Jack had been changed for another person. He was acting insane, as if he had gone crazy overnight. – She's at school.

– At school? –he asked disconcerted.

– You slept almost a whole day…

He couldn't believe it. He left the bedroom and wandered the house. Yes, he was back in time, and he was not dreaming. The last words he heard from his daughter kept resounding in his head. _Sometimes, wishes can come true…_ But had he wished for this? It didn't make any sense. All he knew was Kate was indeed alive, following him around the house, and now Brooke was dead. That wasn't right at all. He felt an unspeakable pain inside.

He took the phone and called Patrick. He tried the hospital, his cell phone, his home, but there was no reply. Then he called Marion.

– Hello?

– Marion!

– Jack… hey…

– I'm trying to reach Patrick, but I can't find him anywhere…

– Yeah, he left to New York… I'm actually on my way too…

– New York? Why New York?

– Uh, for the funeral, you know… Brooke lived there, remember?

He grimaced. He had forgotten she was from New York, why was that? – Um, listen, I would like to come too…

– Yeah, but that's not a good idea…

– Why not?

– Jack, I kind of always suspected you had a crush on Brooke, but "She's my fiancée, we're getting married on Saturday"? I mean, that was so out of the line…

He went mute. – I… I didn't mean to…

– Yeah, I know… everything was so weird that night… Anyway, I think is better if you stay, let things chill out, you know…

He sighed. – Right…

– So, I'll call you when I get back and we'll talk, okay?

– Okay…

Marion hung up and Jack just stood there. Kate was still watching him with a huge questioning look. Fine, his best friend's fiancée had just died and it was awful, but they still had issues to address, the Sawyer issue, to be exact. She stared at him expectant, but he was still trying to find an explanation to the outrageous reality he was stuck in. – I… I've got to go… –he announced. – I'll go get Jackie.

– But it's not even noon… you're not going to work? –she asked in disbelief.

– No… Listen, I want to spend some time with her, so, don't worry if we're not here right after school, okay? –he said flatly.

– Jack, I…

– I'll see you later. –he said cutting her off.

Before leaving the house he took a quick shower and got dressed. He went to check on Brett. He was still sleeping in his cradle. He held him in his arms and kissed hid head. Then he put him back on the cradle and left.

He got in his car and drove away. He needed to find an explanation to what was happening, but he didn't know where to begin. He had never believed in supernatural things. Even after everything he witnessed and experienced on the island, he still refused to even think sometimes there were things that couldn't be explained. Yet he remembered over and over again what Jackie had told him, right after Brooke returned to him the engagement ring _he_ had given her. If someone had answers to that altered world, it had to be Jackie.

As he kept driving, he started thinking and thinking. Flashes began crossing his mind. That night, when Patrick was launching his first book, he didn't attend the party in the end because Kate told him she wasn't in the mood to go. _But you can go if you want, it's okay_, she stated, but he thought there was no point in going to a party without his wife. He decided to stay home with her.

Then the next Monday Patrick arrived to the hospital in a thrilling teenage state. He told everybody how he'd ran into his former college roommate and best friend, after losing track of her for quite a while. He said with a huge smile the click had been instant. He was madly in love with her, now he knew, so he'd asked her out and she'd accepted.

Every time Patrick had a date with her, he'd come to the hospital and tell Marion, Derek, Varya and him everything about it. He kept talking nonstop about how cool and sweet she was, how beautiful she was, and so on. They knew all there was to know about her, that she was from New York, worked as a fashion editor for The New York Days, had excellent taste, could cook, her mom was French, her dad and brother were lawyers, even her birthday and favorite color.

Within some time, Patrick had everybody fed up with his excitement. Marion had a secret crush on Patrick, so she didn't enjoy listening about his fabulous girlfriend at all. Yet Jack always found his stories fascinating. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so excited about a woman. He never felt that way with Sarah, and as for Kate, well, he certainly loved her deeply, but their love story had been everything but Hollywood-like. He kind of missed that feeling Patrick was exuding everyday now.

Since she was from New York, Patrick kept traveling almost every weekend to meet her, only to come back and tell more wonderful things about her. Now Jack was his only audience.

– So, when we're going to meet her?

– Soon, she's coming for the Halloween party. You've got to go man, this time you can't miss it.

– But I'm not wearing any costume, I'm telling you. Neither is Kate.

– Whatever man, just come. Yet don't be surprised when you find the cabin all decorated and she pops out with some sophisticated outfit, she loves that shit… –Patrick assured with a foolish smile. – One time, back in college, she dressed like Wonder Woman, and she looked so hot she…

Jack cut him off. – Whoa man! You need to stop… –Jack said with an impish smile.

– What?

– If you keep talking about her like that, someone might want to steal her from you, you make her sound so… desirable… –Jack said.

Patrick nodded in agreement. – She's _very_ desirable, you'll see… and she's all mine. –he affirmed proud. – Well, I've got to check on Mrs. Staten, see you around…

– Fine…

Kate was also aware of Patrick's love story. Jack repeated to her everything he knew, and now it was like their very private soap opera. She was very curious about her, because so far, she seemed to be the quintessence of perfection, according to Patrick.

So they went to the Halloween party, without a costume as promised. Once at the cabin, they knocked and a Phantom of the Opera-dressed Patrick opened the door. – Hey! You made it! –he said thrilled.

– Hey… –Kate said smiling to Patrick.

– Kate, hi! I'm so glad you came, you brought the kids?

– We asked Claire to watch them. –Jack replied.

They walked in and found Derek and Varya already there, actually wearing a costume. Jack looked at Kate and she just shrugged. Then Patrick went on ahead and reached for Brooke, who was sitting on one of the couches having a nice chat with the other guys. – This is Cat Woman here… –he said with a smug smile, taking Brooke by the hand and lifting her up.

She was indeed in a Cat Woman costume. She looked killer. She was young as hell, and indeed beautiful. This time Patrick hadn't exaggerated. Jack felt surprised when he found himself impressed with her. – Hi, I'm Brooke. –she said, shaking Kate's hand, then Jack's.

– Kate, nice to meet you.

– I'm Jack, hi.

She glanced at Patrick. – So you're Jack… –she said curious. She remembered both he and Kate had been on that very well-known plane crash when she was in college. She even remembered the crush she had on Jack for about 5 minutes back then.

He smiled. – As far as I know, yeah…

– Patrick talks about you all the time…

– Oh, sorry about that… –he said with a shy smile.

– You want something to drink? –she asked both.

The rest of the weekend Jack had been watching her discretely. Not only she was beautiful, she also was fun and smart. But the thing that called his attention more was the way she treated Patrick. You could tell from miles away she loved him more than anything in the world. The way she spoke to him, the way she held his hand when she was sitting beside him, the way she ran her fingers through his hair when she thought nobody was watching. He wished someone looked at him that way, like he was the last living man on Earth.

On Sunday, when they were driving home, they were talking about the gathering.

– Well, actually I kind of found a flaw on her… –Kate affirmed.

– Really? –Jack asked in disbelief, raising an eyebrow.

Kate tried to imitate Brooke's husky voice. – _Baby_, you want more pasta? _Baby_, can you pass me the salt? _Baby_, you remember that time when… _Baby, baby, baby_… Could she be more cheesy or what? I mean, how many times you can call someone "baby"? –she mocked.

– Actually I think that's cute… –he stated.

Her jaw dropped. – You mean you would like to be called _baby_ all the time?

He rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses. – You'd never do that. I'm just saying it's cute…

– Okay fine. I'm jealous, so what? She's gorgeous, she cooks way better than me and she's twenty-fucking-five, I mean, she couldn't be more perfect. And you know what's the worst part?

– What?

– She's so nice I can't even hate her. –She sighed. – I wish I was in my twenties again…

– Hey, don't compare yourself to her… She sure is pretty, but I wouldn't change you for no one… –he affirmed smiling at her.

As time went by, Patrick kept telling him about his relationship as usual, and the more he told him, the more he couldn't help but think about Brooke. He only saw her a couple of times more. One of them was that time when Brooke surprised Patrick and visited him at the hospital. She was trying to find his office to sneak in, when she accidentally crashed into him when she turned left in a hallway.

– God! I'm so sorry! –she said embarrassed.

He recognized her immediately and smiled warmly. – No problem…

– Jack, hey!

– Hi, what you're doing here? –he asked, delighted by her beauty.

– I'm looking for Patrick, is he around?

– I think he's in surgery, he might take long…

– Oh… –she said disappointed.

– I can page him to let him know you're here…

– Thanks, that'd be great… –she said with her signature smile. – Well, it was nice to see you Jack… –she said, shaking his hand.

– Same to me…

As he saw her walking away he felt disgusted at himself. He was checking her out bad. What the hell was wrong with him? She was one of his best friend's girlfriend. Well, he was a man after all, he couldn't fight his nature, he thought, and that chick was damn hot.

– I'll tell you what… –Marion said, cutting his thoughts off, speaking behind him.

He turned around startled by the surprise. – What? –he asked disconcerted.

– Get a divorce, seduce her and then I can marry Patrick… –Jack was stunned, speechless. – Kidding… –Marion said immediately with a wry smile, blinking an eye, then she patted his shoulder and walked away from him.

A couple of months later, Patrick invited him lunch since he wanted to talk to him.

– So, what's this all about? –asked Jack.

– Well, I want to… ask you something…

– Shoot…

He smiled satisfied. – I'm wondering if you'd be my best man.

Jack opened his eyes wide. – You're getting married?

– I hope so. I'm proposing to Brooke this weekend. So, if she says yes, you'll be my best man?

Jack was impressed. Patrick had only been seeing Brooke for some months, and now he wanted to marry her. – Don't you think it's too fast?

– Hell no. I can't wait to live with her again. I've known her forever, so, why wait any longer?

He nodded. – Sure, I'll be your best man.

– Awesome…

– So, how you're going to tell her?

– At her birthday party, I arranged a big surprise for her… –he said thrilled.

– Nice… and you're moving to New York then?

– No, I'm getting a house in Malibu, we're going to live there…

– Wow, that's pretty cool…

– Yeah…

A week later Patrick invited everybody over dinner to announce his engagement. It was a very nice celebration. Brooke looked adorable, and she and Patrick couldn't hide their excitement and happiness. Jack felt terrible, because he just couldn't take her eyes off of her. He didn't understand why, but he actually felt jealous of Patrick. He hated to admit it, but he had a huge crush on Brooke.

That disconcerted him. Not only because he was married, but also because he was supposed to be in love with his wife. He knew he loved Kate, then why he felt so attracted to this girl? He barely knew her. Yes, she was irresistible, but that wasn't enough, couldn't be enough.

As the party went by, he recognized what it was about her. She represented everything he never had the chance to live with Kate. They'd met under the worst circumstances. They never had flowers or chocolates, movies or dinners out, neither dates nor romantic escapades.

On the contrary, they spent most of the time running for their lives, trying to survive, with zillion interferences and misunderstandings around. Then they came back to the real world and were busy adapting to normality again. Besides, they became parents almost immediately. Not that he regretted anything, but he just wanted to feel worshiped by his wife, as Patrick felt by Brooke, and he wanted to feel devotion for Kate as well.

Without him noticing, time flew. He had pulled over outside Jackie's school, and now the classes were over. He felt he was going insane. What were those "memories" in his head? Had his relationship with Brooke been a fantasy? That was impossible. He couldn't have just imagined or day-dreamt the last two and a half years of his life. He couldn't have made up Kate's death, the suffering he went through and then the awakening he experienced with Brooke. Now he just couldn't tell the difference between reality and illusion. It was as if he was entrapped in some kind of limbo.

He walked to the school's entrance and ran into his little daughter.

– Daddy!

– Hey… –he said lifting her up in a long embrace.

– Where's mommy?

– She's at home. But now you and me are having pizza together, how about that? –he suggested his daughter with a soft smile.

– Yeah! –she said thrilled.

He took his daughter to the pizza place she loved. He felt stupid sitting in front of her, thinking about the questions he wanted to ask. She was only a 6 year-old girl. Now she didn't even look as shrewd as he remembered her when she was 8. He shook his head and smiled wryly. He definitely was losing his mind.

– Why are you sad daddy? –she asked, cutting his line of thought.

– You think I'm sad? –The little girl nodded. – No, I'm fine.

– I don't think so…

He went mute. He couldn't help but think Jackie was behind this madness. – Why? –he asked suspicious.

– Your eyes don't glint.

– That's because I'm tired.

But Jackie bit her lip. – It's because of mommy, right?

His eyes opened wider. – Why you say that?

– I know you she was leaving us, but she stayed 'cause you caught her. –Jackie affirmed with a trace of sorrow in her little voice.

That enraged him. Was Kate irresponsible enough to let Jackie see or hear any of her conversations with Sawyer? He took a deep breath. – No sweetie, it's not like that. Your mom was just trying to help this friend she has.

– Then why she didn't tell us?

Yes, she had a point there. – Because she didn't want to bother us. –he justified.

Jackie frowned, she wasn't quite convinced. – She always says we don't have to hide the good things we do.

– Yeah, that's true.

– Then why she hides helping her friend?

He sighed. Man, that kid was smart. – I don't know, she didn't mean to. She made a mistake.

– Don't be sad daddy, I won't hide things from you.

He had to stiffen his tears. – We'll work it out honey, don't worry okay? Now, I'd like you to show me your drawings… –he demanded, thinking the clue to this puzzle was in what Jackie revealed through her paintings.

But the girl looked at him concerned. – I can't draw daddy. I failed at drawing, remember? –she said embarrassed.

He couldn't believe it. He looked at her determined. – Yes you can Jackie, and you can make beautiful drawings, you just have to try. –he assured.

Her eyes glinted. – Can you teach me? –she asked thrilled.

– Sure…

– Cool! –then she threw herself in his dad's arms. – I love you daddy…

– I love you too…

Then he took his daughter to the park, and he played the whole evening with her. Later on they had an ice cream. He still was trying to find a way to put himself together. He couldn't stop thinking about the now dead Brooke. He still loved her and he didn't want her dead. Even if he had imagined all he went through with her, he believed it was not fair to lose her like that. Things were totally fucked up.

They came back home almost at 8:00. Kate was waiting impatient. He barely spoke to her. He put Jackie into bed and read a story for her. But before she went asleep, she told her dad: – I have an idea…

– And what idea is that?

– To teach me drawing. You can draw me a fairy tale and then I try to copy it. You can be the king, and I can be the princess and Brett the prince, and the queen… –she stopped talking.

– Uh-huh… –he said puzzled.

Then she whispered in his ear. – The queen can be someone else if you're still mad at mommy, I won't tell. –she said with a complicity look, blinking an eye.

He couldn't help but laugh. – Okay, we'll work on that. –He offered. Then he kissed his daughter goodnight and tucked her in.

Back in his room, Kate was waiting. He walked in and prepared to go to bed.

– Jack…

– What?

She sighed. – We need to talk…

– Do we?

– Please Jack… I know you're mad at me, but you can't keep ignoring me. Just talk to me…

He looked at her. Well, if that was the reality he was living in, he definitely had to deal with it. – Right. Uh… okay, he's fine, I gave him the money and no, we didn't fight.

– That's not what I want to know…

– Oh really? –he asked sarcastically. – Then what you want to know?

She hesitated. – How did you know? How you knew what was going on?

– He told me…

– What? –she asked in disbelief. – How?

Yes, it was insane, but it was true. – I don't know… He just wanted to… clean up your name, I guess.

– Jack, this is not what you think…

– And what do I think Kate? –he snapped, a burning gaze in his eyes.

She hesitated. – I wasn't cheating on you. I wasn't running away, I swear to God…

– Right, and you think that makes things better?

– What you mean?

– You did something behind my back Kate. It never occurred to you the consequences this could have?

– What consequences? It was just a favor I was doing him…

– Yeah, and what if something had happened to you? What if everything had gone wrong Kate? You think is worth it to compromise your family for a _favor_?

– No Jack, I… I didn't see it that way… I'm sorry.

– Why you didn't tell me Kate? If you were just being supportive, why hide it from me?

– Because I didn't want to upset you… –she said stifling her tears.

– You didn't want to upset me or yourself?

– What are you talking about?

– Look, Kate. This life is about making decisions. I always knew you stayed with me after the rescue because he left you behind, but still you made a decision. You could've followed him, but you chose to stay with me instead. And you have to stick to your decisions Kate, and give up what you didn't choose. But it seems you always need to leave a door open, so you have the option of going through it whenever you like…

– That's so not true Jack! I stayed with you because I love you! I was just trying to help him out!

– Precisely! Why do you always have to help him out? Why do you always have to look after him? You still have a _connection_?

– No Jack, you don't understand, it's not like that.

– Then what it is?

– What did you want me to do? He needed help. You wanted me to say no and just let him got to jail or worse?

– And why the hell not?! Why you still care about him Kate? I just need to know…

– I would've done it for anyone!

– Oh come on! That's bullshit. Is it going to be like this forever? Do I have to live knowing that every once in a while he's going to come to you? And then you'll lie to me and do things behind my back?

– Of course not!

– I'm not so sure…

– You know what? That's exactly why I didn't tell you. You don't trust me. If I had told you, you would've got mad at me anyway.

– Yes, you're right. The fact that my wife has this thing for another man sure makes me mad, but at least I'd be aware of it. And I would've supported you in the end, you should know that.

She was speechless. – I don't have a thing for another man Jack! I'm sorry, I never meant to hide anything from you or betray you or make you feel this way. I just made a mistake, and I'm so sorry, please forgive me…

But he was enraged now. – You know what? I'll just sleep on the couch…

– No Jack, please…

He walked away from her and went to the TV studio, ignoring her pleads. None of them could sleep. He kept thinking, trying to find a justification to her behavior, but he couldn't, and she kept replaying in her mind all of his words. She went to him after some hours, in the middle of the night.

– Hey… –she whispered, sitting at his feet on the couch.

He sat up and looked at her, silent. – Please come back to bed. Let's leave all this behind, I promise it will never happen again.

He took a deep breath. – Kate, I've been thinking…um…I need to be on my own some time…

She opened her eyes wide in fear and disbelief. – What you mean?

– I just need to put myself together, think things through…

– Are you saying we're getting separated? –she asked frantic.

– Yes. I think that's the best right now…

– Oh my God, Jack! I don't believe you! You're totally overreacting here! –she said indignant.

– Maybe. But that's just what I need now.

– Jack, please don't do this! I've told you I'm so sorry! I never meant for this to happen! Why you're being so hard on me?!

– You're the one who's hard on me Kate. You know what I'd like? That you wanted to close all the doors you keep open, for me. But I know I'm just not enough, and it's fine, now I understand.

– How can you say that?! You mean everything to me Jack, everything!

– Let's be honest Kate. You know why you didn't tell me about Sawyer? –she was about to answer, but he didn't let her. – Because I would've told you not to help him, and then you would've done it anyway. But above all…

– Above all what?

– You didn't tell me because for a moment, maybe for a fraction of a second, you thought of the possibility of running away with him and leaving everything behind… That's what really bothers me Kate…

She burst into tears. – It's nothing like that Jack. How can you even think it?!

– Because I know you.

– I just made a mistake! Can't you understand it? Why can't you forgive me?!

– You just can't stay put with me Kate, you never did. Sawyer is you open door, and he'll always be.

– No! I don't give a damn about him and I'll prove it to you as long as I live! Just give me the chance… –she begged.

– You don't have to prove anything, you just did…

– I can't believe this! Are you just going to throw away everything we have? After all we've been through?

– You're the one who threw it away.

– This is so unfair! You have to forgive me!

– No Kate, I don't _have_ to forgive you. I've forgiven you so many times before, I can't even remember. That's exactly your problem. You take me so much for granted you always think you can do whatever you want and get away with it. But this time you did it. –He even felt amazed by himself. – This time you just lost me… I ran out of patience…

Now she was sobbing hard. – God Jack, don't say this to me! I love you, damn it! Don't you know that? This is stupid! You can't leave me for something I didn't do!

He saw how vulnerable and broken she was and felt bad, but he was determined. – Listen, Kate… Maybe you didn't mean it, but… –he thought for a second and tried to explain the unexplainable– Maybe I'm going crazy, but something happened to me. I'm not the same anymore. Now I've learnt that I deserve to be with someone who's willing to close all doors for me, who loves me and just me unconditionally. Just the way I once loved you … –he affirmed, remembering what he "had" with Brooke.

– I love you and just you! Why don't you believe me?!

He stood up. – I'll talk to the kids… I'll explain… Just till I figure things out.

Kate couldn't believe it. – Don't leave Jack, please! –she begged, standing behind him and holding him from his waist, her tears wetting his back. – Where are you going anyway?

He threw a bitter smile and turned around to meet her face. – I have this place… I lived there before the plane crash… –her eyes went wider. – I know I never told you and I'm sorry…

– Why you keep it? –she asked disconcerted.

He frowned. – I don't know… Maybe, deep inside, I always knew this could happen… –he said moving away.

Kate was devastated. – Jack, please, think about it. Right now you're angry and upset and it's all my fault. But please, think of everything good we have, think about our family. Just give me one last chance. If you can't do it for me, at least try for the kids…

He stared at her. – Fine, I'll think about it, I promise. –he offered.

She wiped her tears. – Okay… –then she left the room.

The next day, they agreed on telling the kids he was leaving for a work trip, until he made a final decision. Kate insisted and tried to convince him, giving him zillion explanations, countless excuses and asking for forgiveness over and over again. But he just didn't change his mind.

He packed some clothes and his personal effects. Before he left, Jackie looked for him.

– Daddy?

– Hi princess… –he said with some sorrow.

Then she handed him a pink box with ribbons and patches. – Here…

– What's this? –he asked her, opening the box and revealing a bunch of pieces of paper and colored pencils and crayons.

– It's for you to paint my fairy tale. You can do it when you're bored in your trip.

He smiled shortly. If he finally decided to end his marriage with Kate, not living with his kids would definitely be the hardest part of it. – Okay… I promise you'll have it the next time I see you.

With that, he held his daughter tight, making a tremendous effort to not cry. Then he went to see Brett, and kissed him and held him too. Kate had to go downstairs so she wouldn't burst into tears in front of them.

He took his bags and went down too. – Please Jack, don't do this. Forgive me one last time, please… I'll do anything… –Kate pleaded softly, wiping her tears and holding him tight from behind. He turned around and looked for her eyes. He cupped her face and looked at her deeply.

She was trying to read his eyes, but couldn't. She had the saddest look he could remember on her face since he first met her, just like the one she had that night when she told him Brooke was the one. He looked down and then looked back at her, determined. – I forgive you Kate… –he said with true conviction in his heart. Kate's eyes glinted and she threw a big smile. – But I can't stay… –he completed, letting her go and walking away.

He left the house and drove to his apartment. When he went in, he found it ghostly. No track of Brooke or their life together. He felt empty and sad. It was crazy. He came to a conclusion. Even if he had imagined, dreamt or hallucinated what he had with Brooke, it had been wonderful. What he told to Kate was true, he wasn't the same anymore. Now he knew how it felt to be loved like he was the last living man on Earth, and he missed it. He wasn't happy at that moment. He felt confused and lost.

He thought of Kate, of what Jackie told him back in the future about how wishes can come true, but he also thought of what Kate told him, what she meant to him and what they had together. But he felt disappointed in her. He hated that Sawyer had a place in her heart, whatever it was.

After been dwelling about the moment he was in, a doubt came to his mind. What if he really had to choose? What if Kate had been alive when he met Brooke? Or right there where he was, what if Brooke hadn't died? It was a tough decision to make, for his surprise. He thought about it until his head ached.

He ordered some take outs and tried to eat. He felt stuck. Then he saw on the coffee table the box his daughter gave him. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil. Then he began drawing the fairy tale Jackie asked. He didn't remember, but he could actually draw. He used simple traces that she could imitate.

He drew his daughter and his son, then he drew himself. Now it was time to draw his queen. He did it without hesitation. He was sure about it, and it was the best and the right thing to do. Once he finished, he looked at the drawing satisfied. It was late. He went to the room and rested on the bed. Weariness made him close his eyes finally.

He woke up abruptly, startled and breathing hard. He looked around and didn't recognize where he was. His heart beat faster. He looked at his left hand. Yes, he was wearing his wedding ring, because he had a beautiful wife and two beautiful kids. He stood up and felt his legs weak. He rushed to the door.

Where the hell he was? He started feeling uneasy. He hated when he felt sick. When he crossed the door, he found Brett. – Hey dad… –he said, looking at him with curiosity. Jack couldn't help but notice his son looked taller. – Hey… –he said with difficulty.

– Mom's outside… –the kid announced.

A shiver ran his body. He went to her. It was freezing, and the light kind of blinded him. When he saw her standing backwards, for a second he felt afraid of the face he'd find. That nightmare again… But once he stood beside her, he smiled widely. She was exactly the person he expected to see.

She looked at him and ran her hand through his face. – Hey… –she said softly.

Then Jackie popped up behind him. – Daddy! You woke up! You've got to see what grandma gave me!

– Give your dad a minute sweetie, he'll be right with you okay? Now go inside, it's really cold here…

He smiled at her, content. – It's never been better to see you, you know?

She frowned, puzzled. – And why's that?

– I had the most stupid, outrageous and crazy dream ever.

– Really? What it was about?

He sighed. – Things were… different.

– Good different?

He shook his head. – Not at all.

– No wonder why you were mumbling and sweating. I was worried to death, Jack. You had one hell of a fever. I just couldn't bring it down. –She complained.

– You took care of me? –he asked with a mischievous smile, holding her tight and breathing on her shoulder.

She held him back. – I always do …

– But what went wrong? I mean, everybody ate the same. Why I was the only one food-poisoned?

– You're not food-poisoned. You just ate like a pig… –She affirmed with an accusing look.

– Did I?

– Oh yeah… –Then she ran her fingers through his hair. – You're feeling better now baby?

He looked at her deeply. – I've never felt better. –he affirmed, and then kissed her deeply. – How about you? Why you're here? It's freezing…

– I can help it, I love this place. And look… don't you love the view?

He caressed her cheek. – Oh yeah… –he affirmed looking at her up and down.

– Brooke! –Vivian yelled from the terrace's entrance. She made both Jack and her jump.

– Mom… –she said startled.

– What the hell are you doing here? –She asked with a scolding tone. – You're 8 months pregnant, for God's sake Brooke! You want to get a cold? And you! –She snapped to Jack– Weren't you like boiling last night? You think it's a good idea to be outside?

Brooke rolled eyes and he laughed shortly, glancing at her. – Sorry Vivian… we're coming.

– Please! –Mrs. Julian demanded with an impatient look.

They had spent New Year's Eve at the Julians' as they had since they got married. That night, after Jackie asked him if he'd do something different if he could go back in time, he went to his room and tried to sleep. Then for the first time, he had a nightmare about Brooke being dead and living in an altered world. When he woke up, he went to Jackie's room to answer her question.

The girl had a confident smile on her face. _I knew it, daddy. How you know?_ Then she handed him one of her drawings. It showed the wedding. _'Cause now I can see Brooke in her wedding dress_, she assured content. When Jack left her room, she smiled proudly at herself. Once again, her spell had worked, but she knew this time her mom had helped her big time. Finally her daddy had worked his issues out.

Right after that, he asked Margo to take care of what was left of the moving and to watch the kids. Later on he went straight to the airport. He booked the next flight available.

Once at New York, he went to Brooke's apartment. _You took too fucking long!_, she complained in tears, her eyes puffed and red, as she threw herself in his arms. He kissed her passionately and almost ripped her clothes off her. Before making love to her, he placed the ring back on her finger. _You__never, ever dare to take this off again, okay?_

The wedding was splendid. She was so far the most beautiful bride the world had ever seen, and he was the quintessential perfect man and husband. Their life at the Hamptons was great. Jackie, Brett and Margo were absolutely happy living by the sea. Jack soon found a job at the finest hospital there. Claire, Charlie and their kids were doing fine too. And Hurley was now dating Samara, Brooke's assistant. _I always had a thing for big guys_, she declared when Ilana and Brooke asked her to scoop about it.

Brooke and Ilana retook their plans of becoming independent publishers. One night, on Lance's birthday, Jack was having a nice time at the party, when Ilana went to him.

– Jack …

– Ilana…

– So, now you're married, beautiful wife, beautiful kids…

– Uh-huh… –he mumbled puzzled.

– And I was wondering, how could we improve your life?

– Come on Ilana, you really suck on beating around the bush…

She looked at him with an impish smile. – I was just giving you some anesthesia…

– No need for that, so shoot.

– Okay then. Payback time sweetie…

– Payback time? –he asked sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.

– Oh yeah. You didn't forget yow owe me your wife, technically, right?

He laughed. – Never.

– Fine, so, I guess Brooke told you about the publishing thing.

– Yeah, and money won't be the problem, I told her…

– Oh no honey, of course money's not the problem, I'm aware of that… –she said with a smug look.

He swallowed. – Then?

– We need book material.

– So? –he asked clueless, giving a sip to his glass.

– You're writing down your island memoirs for me…

He almost chocked in his drink. – No I'm not!

– Jackie dear, we need a bestseller, and _you_ are it…

– You are out of your mind! –he assured laughing, not believing his ears.

– Well, that's no secret, but we're not talking about that now. I mean it man, so, when you think you can have a first draft?

He laughed, really amused by her determination. – You have no idea of what you're saying Ilana. Even if I were good at writing, which I'm not, I'd never tell my life to some anonymous readers!

– Why not? You're a myth! –she said with enthusiasm.

– Brooke knows you're asking me this?

– Absolutely not, she'd kick my ass. Come on, I need a smash! What's the big deal?!

– Hey, it's my privacy we're talking about here! –He said in disbelief.

– God, you're _so_ not a rock star!

– Of course not! Charlie is, though, you ask him.

– What are you talking about sweetie? I have. But he's writing about his Drive Shaft days, sort of a Behind the Music thing, but on paper.

– If you want a story about the island, why don't you tell him to do it? He was there too… Hurley was also there…

Ilana rolled her eyes. Then she looked around and lowered her voice. – Jack, it breaks my heart, but Charlie and Hurley sucked on the island, and you know it… I need the real, hardcore stuff! And that's you!

He couldn't help but laugh. – You're insane. I'm not doing it, even if I owed you my ass.

Ilana threw the best puppy eyes she had. – Please!

– Come on, you think I buy your act?-

– Damn it! Come on! If you don't do it, I'll make Brooke ask you, and then you won't get to refuse…

– Brooke will never ask me that, she knows I hate to talk about that…

– Yeah… you're right. She's already told me to fuck off… –she said defeated. – Oh well, screw you both, you can kiss my ass. I'll find my bestseller, I'm telling you, and then you'll beg me to publish what you have to say…

– Will I? –he said mocking.

– You're not being supportive Jackie. You don't want this business to take off and be really successful.

He thought for a moment. – You're right. We need a bestseller, and I think I have an idea…

Some time later, Brooke and Ilana's publishing house launched its first two books: "You All Everybody. The unrevealed story of Drive Shaft", written by Charlie, and "You don't want to win the lottery", by Hugo Reyes, which narrated Hurley's theory and the events concerning his bad luck. Both were really successful and sold million copies. But the huge bestseller was yet to come.

That New Year's Eve when Jack got sick, the awaited book had finally been launched on early December. Brooke was now 8 months pregnant with Jack's third child. Brett, now 6 years old, began calling her mom soon after she married his dad. Jackie, now a beautiful almost 11 year-old girl, never called her mom, but she didn't care. They were more like best friends, and it was great. Both kids were thrilled when they learnt they were having a new brother or sister.

When Jack and Brooke left the terrace to enter the house, Vivian was talking to Margo.

– Can you believe your son? He's there, out in the cold, after that temperature he had last night.

– It's all Brooke's fault. She just can't stay away from that terrace, why's that?

– Oh come on Margo, he was supposed to be at the bedroom. Brooke didn't know he was awake.

– But she shouldn't be out either, it's so cold outside! And she's pregnant!

– Well, she needed some air! She barely slept! She was so worried about Jack. Maybe if he hadn't eaten like that…

– Or maybe it was your shrimps… I told him they tasted funny… –Margo affirmed with an impassive smile.

– Mom! –Jack and Brooke yelled in unison, stunned by how bitchy their mothers were at each other when it came to prove who's "kid" was better or who was right.

– Jack dear… –Margo said. – You're feeling better honey?

– Tell her my shrimps didn't poison you! –Vivian demanded, hysterical.

They looked at each other annoyed. – No Vivian, the shrimps were good. I just ate too much, maybe, I don't know. And I'm feeling better mom, thanks. And no, Brooke's not getting a cold just for staying 10 minutes at the terrace, she has a coat on, and she's just pregnant, not evicted. –he assured.

– You're staying for dinner? –Vivian asked.

– No! –Brooke said shaking her head. – I just want to go home mom, so Jack can get better.

– Fine. Take some food with you, there's plenty. And it's _not_ poisoned! –she said out loud, so Margo could hear her.

– I'm not having that food. –Margo whispered in Jack's ear.

– Okay ladies, time to go. –He announced.

They went to Brooke's former bedroom, where they always stayed when they spent the night with her parents. Jack took a shower and got dressed. Then he helped Brooke, since she was so very pregnant she could barely move. When they were almost ready to leave, he said: – I know what sickened me.

She threw a complicity look. – An overdose of Margo and Vivian? –she joked.

– No, worse. –She threw a questioning look. – I just finished this. –He said, taking a book from the night stand and throwing it on the bed.

She laughed and shook her head. – So? What you think?

– What do I think? Man, 90 percent of it is total bullshit!

– That's exactly what Ilana bet you'd say…

– I mean it! None of that happened, or you really think he's a hero? You believe he risked his life and fought the evil to save everybody's life? Please!

– Baby, if you didn't want this to come out, you should've listened to Ilana. She wanted _you _to tell the story, but you turned her down. Now don't complain about Sawyer putting himself as the savior.

– But it's so ridiculous! "I swam for miles to rescue the doctor from the Others"? Come on!

Brooke laughed out loud. – It was your idea.

– And now it's a fucking bestseller! Unbelievable! –he said indignant.

– Why you did it Jack? Why you told Ilana to look for him and ask him for the story?

– To take her off my back. And because I owed her and she needed a smash, in her own words.

– Or maybe because "You're about the closest thing I've got to a friend"? –she mocked, referring to the dedication Sawyer made on the book.

– Okay, that's low and not funny at all… –he said.

She looked at him proud. – You did it because he needed the money. You wanted to help him out after all. That's exactly what makes you so great baby.

He looked away, annoyed. – That's not true…

– Well, you always can tell your side of the story and set the record straight. Ilana will sign you in a second, I promise.

– And come second place? You're dreaming… Never happened on the island, and it'll never happen _in life_… –he said all cocky.

– Then stop whining and just live with it. –She challenged.

He just rolled his eyes.

Back at their home, she put the kids in bed, since Jack was still feeling a little weak from the dehydration the fever caused him. He could hear her voice from Brett's room, reading him a bedtime story. Then he heard her slow footsteps walking to Jackie's room. She stayed there for a while. Sure Jackie was telling her about this boy she liked from her swimming team, which didn't amused him at all.

Finally she got to their bedroom. – She won't tell me…

– What?

– Jackie. She knows what the baby is, and she won't tell me.

– There's this thing, you know, they call it ultrasound? It's the thing, really, you can get to see your baby's gender… –he said mocking.

– I know, but I want her to tell me first, so I can see if she was right… Don't you want to know?

– I want it to be a surprise. When Jackie and Brett were born, I didn't want to know either. –He assured caressing her belly and kissing it softly.

– I feel like a whale. And I still have to wait a whole month. –she said, fed up.

– Well you're certainly the most beautiful curvy whale on the world.

Her jaw dropped and she slapped his shoulder playfully. – You're supposed to tell me I'm _not_ a whale and that I look fantastic, just like in my model days…

He bit his lip. – But then I'd be lying. –he joked.

– That fever really burnt your brain sweetie, I swear.

He laughed and kissed her. – You need some sleep. Your sense of humor has just run out.

She rolled her eyes. – Night baby.

– Night.

Once Brooke fell asleep, he checked on the house as he always did before going to bed. He checked all the doors were properly locked, the windows closed and the stove off. He also checked the alarms and that the kids were under their blankets. He checked that Margo hadn't left her night light on. Then he felt thirsty and went to kitchen to have a glass of water.

He looked around and smiled content. He thought of the question Jackie asked him that time, before he married Brooke. If she asked him again, he'd answer the exact same thing. If he could go back in time, he wouldn't change a thing. After all he had been through, and in spite of the dark times he'd had in his life, now he could stand there convinced it had all been worth it.

Now he had learnt the power of forgiving and been forgiven. He had learnt to let go and to believe in happiness. But above all, he had forgiven himself for all his mistakes and flaws, and embraced what he had learnt through them. He was finally living the life he had chosen to live, and shadows lived no more in his heart.

**The end**


End file.
